


Forbidden Love

by rockondean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brother/Brother Incest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-08 14:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 130,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7762360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockondean/pseuds/rockondean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean both secretly love each other more than two brothers should. A drunken night together changes everything. But will they both admit their true feelings for each other, or continue to hide from then? Based sometime after Dean comes back from hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Sammy! Come on, live a little” Dean said, slurring his words. He slammed his hands down on the bar and summoned the bartender. “Two more beers please and a round of shots” he said, pointing at himself and his younger brother.

Sam finished off the beer he was holding. “Dean. I think that you’ve probably had enough” he said as he put down the empty bottle of beer as Dean handed him a full one. He was deeply worried about his brother. He hadn’t been the same since he came out of hell.

Dean took several swigs from his bottle. “Dude, come on relax! We deserve to after finishing off that hunt. It’s a celebration and I‘ve only just started!” he said as he picked up his shot glass and downed the liquor. He pushed a shot glass over to Sam. “Down the hatch!” he prompted.

“Fine!” Sam shrugged and drank the shot straight down in one go. He winced at the burning in the back of his throat. He still couldn’t understand how his older brother managed to hold his drink so well.

“That’s my boy!” Dean said as he patted his brother on the back of the shoulder. “Another round” he said, motioning to the bartender as he slid the correct money over the bar.

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Dean?” Sam asked as Dean thrust another shot in his free hand.

“Just helping you out lil’ bro” Dean said as he emptied the liquor down his throat once again. He turned his head in the direction of a pretty blonde with long legs who was stood in the corner of the bar. He finished off his bottle of beer and turned to his brother. “Watch and learn” he said winking and going off in pursuit of the blonde.

Sam sighed deeply, as he casually sipped at his beer. He saw Dean whispering in the blonde’s ear as she flirted outrageously with him, twirling strands of her hair around her index finger.

Something inside of him stirred, as he watched his older brother make a move on the woman. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was almost like jealousy.

He wasn’t jealous that Dean was getting hooked up with a beautiful women and he wasn’t. He was jealous that his brother was giving someone else attention and not him. He tried to shake off how he was feeling and scanned the room for something, or someone else to look at.

But no matter how hard he tried, his eyes always found their way back over to look at his brother. He suddenly noticed things about Dean that he’d not noticed before. Like the way his dimples became more pronounced as he smiled. The way his green eyes lit up with lust. The way he casually ran his hand through his hair playfully.

This was wrong. So wrong that he was thinking about his brother in that way.

He summoned the bartender and ordered a round of shots for himself and another beer. As Sam drank more and more, the less he tried to read into his unusual feelings he was having for his brother right now. He had to remind himself of that fact.

Dean was his brother.

The four months that Dean was in hell for, was torture for Sam. He had tried everything and anything that he could to get his brother out. He had given up all hope and had resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to carry on without Dean.

When Dean came out and wound up on his doorstep a few weeks ago, he was beside himself with joy. It was like a second chance, a chance to re-build bridges, a chance re-build their bond.

But since Dean had come out, he had changed. He had become even more of a closed book and kept a lid on his feelings. He spent less and less time with Sam, and more time with the one thing that seemed to bring him solace; alcohol.

Sam just wanted his brother back.

Dean walked up behind Sam and slapped him suddenly on the back and slung his hand over his shoulder which brought Sam back down to earth; with a bang.

The older brother handed over the keys to their room. “You go on ahead Sammy. Don’t wait up for me” he said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively as he led the pretty blonde out of the door as they giggled like ditzy schoolchildren.

The bartender walked over to Sam and took him by surprise, breaking his daydream as he watched his brother leave with the blonde. “You want another round son?” he asked.

Sam blinked rapidly and examined the inside of his empty beer bottle. His hand gripped the keys to their motel room. “No, I’m good, thank you” he said as politely as he could. He slid off his stool and started to walk towards the door to make his way back to the room. There was no reason to stay in this crappy bar all alone.

He hiccoughed as he struggled to keep down the hard liquor he had been drinking. He staggered his way across the parking lot miserably and located the room key on the key fob and inserted it into the lock and opened the door.

His hand went out blindly to find the light switch. In the end he gave up and felt his way over to one of the beds and flopped down onto it. His emotional turmoil had sucked out all of his energy and he felt drained. There was nothing else to do, so he closed his eyes to go to sleep- and dreamt of Dean.

##############################################################

A couple of hours later Sam woke to the sound of someone tapping on the door. He rubbed his eyes as they adjusted to the darkness. “Dean?” he asked cautiously as he got up from the bed and padded over to the door. The room was spinning around him as the alcohol made him light headed and unbalanced. He realised that he had fallen asleep with his coat and shoes on.

“Sam! Hurry up will you, I’m freezing my nuts off out here” a familiar voice said loudly from the other side of the door.

Sam turned the latch on the door, and as soon as he did, his older brother fell through it and stumbled over to sit on one of the beds. His breath was scented heavily with alcohol. If anything he was more drunk now than earlier.

“You can’t just go off like that again Dean! I’ve been worried about you!” he lied. “And have you no respect for women these days? This is the third one this week!”. Sam started shouting at his brother and he didn’t even know why. For some reason, tonight, the fact that his brother had gone off and fucked a random woman seemed to bother him greatly.

Dean just rolled his eyes and reached into his coat pocket and took a swig from his hip flask. “Dude! You’re not serious, right?” he said as he swallowed down the whiskey.

“Yeah, I am!” Sam said as he crossed his arms over his chest. His stance was fierce and dominant. “You’re blind drunk, so was that women. There could be serious repercussions to that. Did you even use protection?” he spat back at his brother.

“Dude, I’m a grown-up. This is what we do! Anyway, what is your problem tonight Sammy? Someone obviously can’t handle their liquor!” Dean laughed mockingly as he started to unzip his jacket.

Sam lunged over at his older brother pushing him down onto the bed and pinning him down. “You! You’re the problem Dean!” he said, as rage and jealousy took control of him.

Dean’s eyes went wide as they stared straight up at his younger brother. “Sammy, you’re scaring me now” he said as his hand went over his sibling’s cheek. Demon possession crossed his mind, except for the fact that they both wore anti-possession charms.

“It’s Sam” the younger hunter replied sternly as he lowered his head down and kissed his brother on the lips.

Dean fumbled and pulled away from his brother. “What the hell?” he asked when he broke away from the kiss. He had no idea what was going on here but he didn’t want it to stop. Something inside of him told him that this felt right. Looking deep into Sam’s green eyes, he slowly lifted his head up and initiated the second kiss between them. This time neither of them pulled away.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sam opened his eyes again, the sun shone through the gap in the moth-eaten curtains. It took him a few moments to realise where he was. That’s all he knew was that his head was spinning and his mouth was dry as a bone.   
  
How much had he drank? He didn’t even remember leaving the bar last night.   
  
Looking over at the bed next to him, he found that it was empty. He slowly sat himself up, closing his eyes as the room span around him. He had never been this hung over before. He remembered Dean plying him with shots and bottles of beer- no wonder he felt rough.   
  
He needed water, like right now. Standing up, his legs wobbled underneath him. He realised that he was only wearing his boxers. He didn’t remember getting to bed, let alone undressing himself.   
  
Between the two single beds, was a pile of clothes, a mixture of his and Dean’s. This triggered off something in his mind as he studied the discarded mass of tangled clothes.   
  
_Dean lying on top of him, helping him take off his clothes. Slowly taking off his jacket and throwing it on the floor along with his own. Dean’s hand wandering down to the zipper on his jeans and slowly lowering it and then tugging on the jeans until they came off.  
_  
He shook his head as his mind showed him flashes of the night before. The remnants of alcohol in his system was no doubt giving his brain confused and muddled memories.   
  
Pushing open the door to the bathroom he saw his brother standing over the sink, wet from his shower, and wearing only a towel around his waist. He gasped and felt his heart start to beat faster in his chest as he looked up and down at his half-naked brother’s body. Toned and gorgeous in every way. There seemed to be a familiarity about it, like his hands had explored the length and breadth of it before.   
  
Another memory surfaced in his brain.   
  
  
_“Sam? You sure about this? There’s no turning back” Dean asked as he nuzzled the underside of his brother‘s jaw.  
  
“I’m sure” Sam said slowly as he took off Dean’s layers of clothing and threw them down on the floor next to his own. “I don’t know how to do this Dean” he admitted as he removed Dean’s boxers.   
  
“I do. Just lie back and I’ll show you. I’ll take care of you Sammy” Dean said breathlessly, his voice thick with arousal.   
  
Sam let his hands wander up and down his brother’s toned chest and explored the soft un-marked and revitalised skin. “You’re so beautiful Dean, I‘ve wanted this to happen for a while now” he said in earnest as his hands moved lower to caress the inner borders of Dean’s thighs.   
  
_  
Sam suddenly felt the nausea rise in his throat. He barely had time to lift the toilet seat up before his stomach lurched violently and emptied itself into the bowl.   
  
Dean stood over his brother and laughed. “You never could handle your drink Sammy” he said as his hand held the towel around his waist which was threatening to fall down. “God how much did we drink last night? The last thing I remember is leaving the bar with a gorgeous woman on my arm”.   
  
Groaning, Sam flushed the toilet and went over to the sink. All the while, avoiding eye contact with his brother. Unfortunately his brain had other ideas.   
  
  
_Sam dug his fingers into the gentle curve of Dean’s lower back. The older hunter thrust in and out of him slowly, gently and lovingly. It felt nothing like what he had experienced before. He relaxed back into the lumpy mattress and closed his eyes so he could tune into Dean’s deep breathing and soft moans and the way his warm breath grazed his cheeks.  
  
_  
He turned the tap on and splashed cold water on his face and shivered at the new memory that his brain had decided to show him. “You don’t remember anything Dean?” he asked when he looked up again.   
  
“Nope. But I know that I must have had a great time because this is nearly empty!” the older hunter said proudly as he held up his box of condoms.   
  
Sam smiled weakly. “Yeah. I guess that you did” he said swallowing suddenly as he felt sick again. He forced himself to turn around and confront his brother. He was going to give it one more shot. He needed to know whether Dean had any recollection of last night‘s events. “So, you really don’t remember anything from last night?” he ventured as he exhaled slowly.   
  
“Nope!” his brother confirmed. “Just that I’m extremely hung over and in dire need of some aspirin and a big greasy burger to mop up the remaining alcohol in my blood stream. Now shake a leg Sammy!” Dean said as he playfully slapped his younger brother on his thigh- unaware that it would provoke Sam’s brain into revealing more.   
  
  
_“More” Sam pleaded as Dean’s head bobbed up and down from between his legs, hand’s caressing the sensitive skin on his inner thighs._  
  
Dean continued to run his scratchy hands slowly up and down Sam’s thighs, going higher in between his legs, until his brother shuddered at the erogenous pleasure it gave him. Teasingly, Dean removed them for a few seconds and then began the ascent up towards Sam’s groin once again, until they circled around Sam’s cock which was growing harder by the second.   
  
  
“Just give me a minute to have a shower” Sam replied numbly.   
  
Dean smirked. “Okay. I hope you don’t mind that I used the last of the hot water. Enjoy your cold shower” he said as he slammed the bathroom door shut on his way out causing Sam to flinch.   
  
Sam turned on the shower and stepped in, shivering under the cold water as it ran down his back. He closed his eyes and tried to block out more images of last night as the icy water cleared his fuzzy head.   
  
But he didn‘t feel regret, or even disgust. It had felt right.   
  
The cold water continued to flow freely down his body as he tried to convince himself that what he and Dean did was wrong; morally wrong and that his feelings for his brother needed to stop now before it went any further.   
  
“It’s okay, Dean doesn’t remember. If he doesn’t remember then it didn’t happen” he told himself sadly. “It didn’t happen”.   
  
That’s the way he was going to leave it- but he couldn’t stop the tears that were forming rapidly in the corners of his eyes.   
  
He watched as the water and his bitter tears swirled around under his feet until they disappeared down the drain.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Over the next few weeks, things carried on as normal between the two brothers. Normal in the sense that nothing had really changed between them, despite their night together.   
  
Dean still kept tight lipped on his time in hell and avoided bringing up the subject, and Sam still felt the same remorse for his brother as he did before.   
  
Sam had kept his promise to himself and had tried to forget about their night together and the way that he felt about his brother. In fact, if anything, he had distanced himself from Dean even more, in the hope that it would ease the transition back to being ‘brothers’ again.   
  
So each day pretty much went the same way since Dean returned from hell. They spent hours in the car, travelling through state after state to find leads on any hunts that interested them and each night they settled down in yet another motel room for the night.   
  
And then Dean would continue his usual routine and go to the nearest bar, leaving Sam alone to do the research until he would stumble back and go straight to bed in a drunken stupor.   
  
Since that fateful night, Dean’s erratic behaviour and drinking spiralled more and more out of control. Instead of talking to his brother about how he felt since coming out of hell, he buried his head in liquor and easy women. He was vulnerable and in a bad place right now.   
  
One night, instead of going to sleep, Sam decided to wait up for his brother and confront him to see if he could get him to open up about his feelings before he pressed the self-destruct button anymore on himself.   
  
Sam let his eyes close as he waited for his brother, but he was on edge so never allowed himself to succumb fully to sleep. Things kept running through his head, trying to find the right words to say to his brother.   
  
As usual, Dean stumbled into the room in the early hours of the morning, trying to be as quiet as he could so he wouldn’t wake Sam. He switched on the light next to his bed and started to take his boots off. He swore loudly as the force of removing a boot caused him to fall backwards and bang his head against the wall. “Shit! Son-of-a-bitch!” he said not-so-quietly as he nursed the back of his head.   
  
“Dean?” Sam’s voice said softly from the other bed. He had heard his brother put the key in the lock, shut the door as quietly as possible and then pad across the carpet to his bed. Now was as good a time as any.   
  
“Ssshh…..! Go back to sleep Sam. I didn’t mean to wake you up. Sorry” Dean said as he slurred his words.   
  
Sam could smell the alcohol on his breath. And the sex. Dean always stank of sex these days.   
  
Even more so in the last few weeks. He sat up in bed and tried to make out the silhouette of his brother. “We need to talk Dean. Look at the mess that you’re in. You need to tell me about your time in hell. I want to help you. You can‘t go on like this for much longer. I can‘t watch you do this to yourself anymore” he said sadly as his own words touched him more than he was letting on. But he was right, he couldn’t just sit down and watch his brother do this to himself every night. Torture and blame himself.   
  
Dean knew that this conversation would come one day, but he didn‘t want to talk about it. It was bad enough that he had lived through what he had when he was in hell. He didn‘t want to burden his baby brother with the same troubles and fears that he was battling with. He wanted to protect him from as much evil as possible. Instead he chose to ignore the matter at hand.   
  
“This girl I was with tonight? Sam you should have seen her. And she had a sister” Dean said as he waved a finger at his younger brother.   
  
Sam felt a pang of sadness as Dean spoke about more women. His jealously returned. It almost felt like he was being cheated on. “Dean. I’m trying to talk to you here” he continued, determined to get his brother to talk to him sensibly. He was hoping that his older would let his guard down for just one second.   
  
“One was a blonde, the other was a brunette. I tell you, the things I’ve learnt from them tonight” Dean said as he ignored Sam and carried on, desperately hoping that Sam would get bored and drop the subject.   
  
“Dean!” Sam shouted as he lost his temper. “Please, talk to me about it!” he begged. “Tell me how you feel! I want to help”. He sighed and whispered under his breath. “I love you…..”.   
  
Dean fought to hold back his tears. He loved Sam too much and knew that in order to protect him he had to be cruel to be kind. He removed his jacket and laid down on the bed, facing away from his younger sibling. “I heard you the first time. I know what you want to talk about, but I don’t want to talk about it. It’s too fresh and I’m not ready. There’s nothing that you can do to help me. So go back to sleep” he said as he grabbed a pillow and put it over his head as tears ran freely down his face and saturated the pillow. This was his way of letting Sam know that this little conversation was over.   
  
Sam sighed. He felt too emotionally drained to continue his futile attempts at getting past his brother’s tough exterior. He wanted to tell Dean how much he loved him and cared for him. He wanted to comfort his brother and try to get him to move on from his memories of being in hell- things in which he could only imagine went on. He wanted to know what happened so that he could begin to understand how to help his brother.   
  
From underneath the pillow, Dean opened his eyes and let another tear run down his face. Since he woke up in the same bed as his brother a few weeks ago, he had started to remember more about what had happened that night. It wasn’t until a few days after he had started to re-call the events that had happened. But now his mind was quite adamant and the memories were now crystal clear.   
  
  
_“Are you ready?” Dean asked thoughtfully as he smiled, to try and ease Sam’s nerves._  
  
Sam gulped quickly and nodded his head. “I’m ready” he said as he let the muscles in his body relax. There was something about his brother that reassured him.   
  
“I’ll look after you” Dean promised as he carefully and slowly slid into Sam, who hissed at first but then began to moan in delight as his pain turned into pleasure. “This should feel so wrong” he said, but not stopping his thrusts. His eyes locked onto his brothers and his hand ran through his younger sibling’s thick glossy hair.   
  
“I know, but why does this feel so right?” Sam asked as his breathing started to get quicker. He arched his head back into the pillow and let out a deep throated moan as his orgasm started to gather momentum. Sex had never felt this good before. For the first time ever, it felt special.   
  
Dean thrust in and out, going slowly, but deep. His cheeks started to flush and his brow started to glisten with beads of sweat. Sam was glowing and looked so beautiful to him. This was an act of making love rather than needy sex. This was so much better than being with all those desperate women.   
  
For the first time in his life- he felt truly in love with someone.   
  
  
Since that night, Sam never spoke a word about it, so he presumed that he didn’t remember-or that he chose not to. His brother had been avoiding him more and more which broke his heart. So he immersed himself in more women to try and get over the pain of his brother being ashamed of what they did.   
  
Dean wanted his brother to ease the pain he felt. He wanted to talk to his brother about everything, but he couldn’t bear the thought of bearing his soul to his brother when he knew there was no possibility of Sam returning the feelings he felt for him.   
  
That’s why, instead he found solace in liquor and women. It wasn’t really solace, more like trying to cover up how he really felt. He hated the night time. He hated the quiet. That was when he remembered the way he was tortured in hell. That was when he remembered being given a knife, being forced to carry out acts of merciful violence on innocent souls.   
Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind as he tried to go off to sleep. Instead he tuned in to the sound of Sam’s breathing, knowing that he was only an arm’s length away- but unable to reach out to him.   
  
On the other bed, Sam’s eyes were closed, but he wasn’t sleeping. He imagined Dean opening up to him and then having to comfort him- an excuse to hold him close and be with him properly again. Pushing the thoughts out of his mind he told himself that he needed to forget about his ridiculous feelings and find a way to push past this, put on a brave face and carry on as normal as he could or he would lose his brother.   
  
And that would be something that he would never be able to cope with. 


	4. Chapter 4

A couple of weeks later and the two hunters found themselves in a small rural town checking out possible demonic signs. It was an opportunity for the two brothers to distract themselves from their real life issues and focus on something else.   
  
Their conversations these days were mostly hunt-related. Sam had given up on trying to get Dean to talk. Each day that had passed, seemed to get easier and things were starting to return to normal.   
  
The brother’s were working diligently on yet another hunt. They were sat in an off-road diner to re-fuel to set them up for the rest of the day. Sam was on his laptop researching into some of the symbols they had found.   
  
Dean was drumming his fingers on the table and humming a Metallica song out of tune. Sam just raised an eyebrow until Dean shrugged.   
  
“What?” the older hunter asked indignantly. “Got to pass the time until my food arrives!”.   
  
Sam looked up from his laptop. “I know. But can you perhaps make the annoying sounds, less annoying. You’re giving me a headache!” he said as he rubbed at his temples. He was getting another headache, something which seemed to plague him more often than not these days.   
  
“Okay” Dean said as he put his hands on his lap. As a waitress walked pass he called her over. “Excuse me ma’am” he said politely as he gave her a dashing smile.   
  
Something inside of Sam jolted as his brother spoke to the brunette. He was just being friendly. That’s all. Friendly. He had decided weeks ago that he was going to try and get over his brother, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt when he saw his brother show other people affection.   
  
“Could I get a coffee please?” Dean asked as he held out an empty cup. “Make it strong…..the morning after the night before if you know what I mean” he winked.   
  
The waitress smiled back. “Sure sweetie” she said as she leant over and poured the thick black liquid into the cup.   
  
Dean checked out her ass. “Thank you” he said and then watched her walk away. He poured cream into the cup and stirred it slowly with a spoon. “Any joy with those symbols Sam?”. When Sam didn’t answer he waved his hand in front of his face and clicked his fingers. “Sammy?”.   
  
Sam looked back up at his brother blankly. “What?”. The smell of Dean’s coffee started to make him feel nauseous. In fact, the coffee that his brother had yesterday had made him feel sick too. He put his hand over his mouth to try and suppress the feeling.   
  
Dean took a mouthful of coffee and put it back down on the table. “You were miles away. I said, have you had any joy with working out the symbols? I‘m thinking Enochian?”.   
  
“Symbols? Enochian? Yeah, possibly. I’ve not had any hits yet, I just keep hitting a brick wall” Sam lied as he looked at the blank computer screen in front of him. He hadn’t even opened up the internet browser. “Maybe I’ll go over to the library across the road. There’s bound to be something there” he said closing the lid of his laptop and putting it in his duffel. His sense of smell had started picking up on other things that repulsed him and increased his nausea.   
  
“There’s no hurry. They’re not going to go anywhere. At least wait and have your food first” Dean said as he put his hand out to his brother. Sam felt instantly comforted by the subtle gesture and closed his eyes for a second to savour the moment.   
  
“Food. Yeah” Sam said reluctantly as his hand rubbed at his stomach to try and ease the ever growing nausea. Eating was the last thing he wanted to do right now.   
  
Dean’s eyes lit up as the waitress from earlier brought over two plates of food. A garden salad for Sam, and a greasy bacon cheeseburger and fries for himself.   
  
“Mmm, this looks delicious” Dean said as he picked up his burger and took as big a mouthful as he could manage. “Just what I need for this hangover!” he said as he wolfed down some fries.   
  
Sam poked at a bit of lettuce with his fork. “When aren’t you hung over?” he thought to himself bitterly. He bit his tongue to stop him from saying it out loud.   
  
“Dude. You’re going to need more than rabbit food to get you through the day. You sure you don’t want to help yourself to some fries?” Dean asked as he pushed his plate closer to his younger brother.   
  
Sam put his hand over his mouth and swallowed rapidly. “No, I’m good thanks. I’m not really hungry!”.   
  
“Suit yourself” Dean said as he munched his way happily through his burger. He drowned his fries with ketchup and stuffed a handful into his already full mouth. The older hunter frowned when he saw Sam’s face turn a sickly colour. “Sam? You don’t look so good. You okay?” he asked as ketchup dripped down his chin.   
  
“I’m gonna be sick!” the younger sibling managed to get out as his hand flew over his mouth and he bolted to the men’s restroom.   
  
Grabbing a napkin, Dean wiped his chin clean and followed his brother to the restroom where someone in the middle cubicle was retching violently.   
  
Dean leant down to peer under the door where he recognised the soles of his brother’s shoes. “Sam? I’m right outside the door. I’ll get you some water, yeah?” he said thoughtfully as went back into the dining room.   
  
When he returned a few minutes later, Sam was hunched over the sink, splashing water on his pale face. His bangs were drenched in a sheen of sweat from the merciless retching.   
  
The older hunter handed over the water to Sam, which he took gratefully and began to take small sips.   
  
“Thank you Dean” Sam said as he attempted to smile. The retching had sapped the last of his energy reserves.   
  
“No problem. That’s what big brother’s are for, right?” Dean said smiling at his sick brother. His hand brushed Sam’s forehead. He felt the familiar feeling of his brother‘s soft skin and pulled his hand away suddenly. “Hhmm- you’re a little warm. I think you need to go back to the motel and sleep it off”.   
  
Sam nodded weakly. “It’s just a virus. I’ve felt it coming on for days. Headache, feeling dizzy and sick. I should be fine by tomorrow, then we can follow up those leads on the symbols” he said. As he stepped back from the sink he started to topple over.   
  
Dean reacted quickly and put his arm around his brother’s waist to help him stand upright. Sam felt comforted by Dean’s touch.   
  
  
_“It’s you Sam. It’s always been you. I never knew it until now” Dean breathed into his brother’s ear as he pounded in and out of him. He ran his fingers softly through his sibling’s hair, following the wavy contours._  
  
Sam smiled as Dean’s hands explored his body. There was something reassuring about Dean’s touch that made him feel safe. Made him feel wanted.   
  
  
“I got you Sammy. Don’t worry about the hunt for now. Let’s get you to bed, shall we?”. Dean locked eyes with his brother’s as he held him close up against him. He was making the most of being this close to his beloved brother once again. He knew that having Sam around would gradually make everything okay once again.   
  
Sam closed his eyes and inhaled the subtle scent of aftershave on his brother. He wanted to stay like this for as long as possible- prolong this brief moment, Dean‘s arm‘s around his waist protectively. Unfortunately his body had other ideas as his stomach lurched again causing him to break free and make a dive over the sink.   
  
“Sam? You going to be sick again?” Dean asked. He felt a pang of disappointment when Sam broke loose from their embrace.   
  
“No. False alarm” the younger sibling said. His heart warmed at the concern his brother was giving him. He couldn’t let himself feel like this again when he was trying to get over his feelings for Dean.   
  
Dean looked at Sam’s pale complexion. He just wanted to hug him and kiss him better- but that wasn’t an option. He moved silently over to his sick brother and put his arm back around his waist and continued to support him as they walked out of the restroom.   
  
When they approached the dining room, the waitress came over and broke up the tender moment between the siblings. She looked at Sam sympathetically. “Are you okay? Can I get you anything?”.   
  
Sam waved his hand about and shook his head. “No, I’m good” he said breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth.   
  
“I’m just going to get him back to the motel. Thanks for the food. The burger was the nicest I‘ve had in over 500 miles!” Dean said as he freed up one hand to take some money from his back pocket. He put it down on their table.   
  
“No problem. Take care” the waitress said as she took the money and started to count through it. She blushed when she realised that Dean had over tipped her. “Do you want the rest of your burger?”.   
  
Dean looked torn. But apparently his stomach won him over. “Sure” he said as he grabbed the half-eaten burger with his free hand.   
  
The smell of the greasy meat wafted over to Sam as he inhaled deeply. The jealously inside of him bubbled to the surface once again as he watched his brother smile back at the waitress. He gagged and threw himself out of the diner door where he threw up in the flower bed.


	5. Chapter 5

_Sam basked in the afterglow of his orgasm. “Thank you” he whispered over at his brother. Dean didn’t’ respond. “Dean?” he tried again. He could make out the silhouette on the bed next to him.  
  
“Goodnight” Sam whispered into the darkness, until sleep took over his body once again. “Thank you. I love you”.   
  
Dean never heard or replied as he was fast asleep.   
  
_Sam woke up quickly with a start. It took him a moment to realise where he was. He suddenly remembered that he had gotten sick and Dean had helped him back to the Motel and insist that he escort him all the way back. It was dark outside which meant that he must have been sleeping a good few hours   
  
He didn’t know it, but Dean had sat with him until he fell asleep and continued to watch over his brother whilst he slept. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful. Dean wanted to lie down next to him and hold him close. He wanted to be close to Sam again- knowing that selfishly, it would make him forget, just for a second, all the terrible things that he had encountered in hell. When he had sunk in enough of his brother’s presence, he got up and went to do the only other thing that made him forget his troubles- and that was to find the nearest bar and start drinking all over again.   
  
Sam slowly got up out of bed, grabbing onto the chair as he felt giddy. “Dean?” he enquired. There was no answer in the empty motel room. He walked over to the kitchenette sink to pour himself a glass of water. The nausea from earlier had subsided considerably. There was a brown paper bag next to the sink with a note attached to it with Dean’s scratchy writing on.   
  
**Sam,  
  
Went to the store to pick up some things for your stomach. I’ve gone out, so don’t wait up for me. Hope you feel better soon, ‘cos you really looked like crap earlier on! (No offence dude!) Forget about the hunt for now, rest up.   
  
Dean. ****  
**  
Sam couldn’t help but laugh as he read through the note. This was Dean’s way of saying that he cared. He tipped the contents of the bag onto the counter and rifled through them.  
  
Saltine crackers, Pepto-Bismol, bottle of blue Gatorade and some chewing gum, for fresh breath he presumed. His brother had obviously gone to a lot of effort judging by the carefully chosen items in front of him.   
  
He rubbed his stomach as it growled back at him in hunger. He swallowed down a Pepto-Bismol with the rest of the water and nibbled at one of the crackers. His watch told him that it was only 7.07pm. Dean wouldn’t be back for hours yet if he was going on one of his usual ‘night‘s out’.   
  
He wandered aimlessly around the motel room looking for something to do. Deciding that he didn’t want to sleep anymore, he opened the lid of his laptop and started the tedious task of researching into the symbols that had appeared around the town.   
  
##############################################################   
  
Sam wasn’t sure why he was awake so early the next morning, until his stomach jolted rapidly, causing him to jump out of bed and make a dash for the bathroom as his stomach got rid of the crackers and water from last night.   
  
He stood back up slowly and groaned helplessly. This virus he was having was nothing but persistent. Him and Dean never got stomach flu, in fact they hardly ever got ill. He didn’t want to worry his brother anymore so he brushed his teeth until he was happy that the mint toothpaste masked the acidy odour in his mouth.   
  
He walked out of the bathroom and looked around the room. Dean was sprawled out on the other bed, half-dressed. There was a trail of his clothes leading from the door to his bed and a half-eaten portion of chilli fries on his nightstand.   
  
Sam gagged at the fries, pinched his nose, held his breath and disposed of them in the trash under the sink. He poked his brother in the side to get him to wake up.   
  
“S’too early Sammy. Go away!” Dean stirred and muttered something incoherently under his breath.   
  
“Dean. I’ve had a match with the symbols. We need to leave right now if we’re going to wrap this case up. What time did you get in this morning?” Sam scoffed. Despite his good night’s sleep, he felt irritable and grumpy.   
  
Dean opened his eyes and sat up slowly. He looked at his watch. “I dunno, it wasn’t before 3am anyway” he smirked. “You’re better then?” he asked as he studied his brother., squinting as his eyes adjusted to the morning sun pouring in through the chipped windows.   
  
“Yeah. Must have been something I ate yesterday. Maybe that breakfast burrito? I thought it looked dodgy” Sam told his brother, trying to convince himself of the lie. Does food poisoning really carry on into the next day? “Come on, be ready to leave in 20 minutes” he said persistently.   
  
“Okay, okay, keep your panties on Samantha. Just give me a minute to come round” Dean said groggily as he rubbed his eyes. His hair stuck out in every direction, but to Sam, he looked gorgeous.   
  
Sam had to try very hard to fight the nausea as the stale smell of alcohol from his brother reached him. “And brush your teeth” he said as he fought off a wave of nausea.   
  
Dean walked over to the bathroom in a zombie-like state. “Just gimme 5 minutes to jump into the shower” he said as he disappeared behind the door.   
  
As soon as Sam heard the shower turn on, he ran over to the sink and threw up for the second time this morning. The thought of being in the car for at least an hour made him feel more queasy. He had to find a way for Dean to let him drive. That way he could focus on the horizon and dictate the speed of the car and when to stop, hopefully cutting down his chances of being sick.   
  
Even though he enjoyed Dean fussing over him when he was sick yesterday, he didn’t want to cause his brother anymore un-necessary worry over a touch of Salmonella.   
  
##############################################################   
  
“Okay, I feel a bit more human now” Dean said 10 minutes later as he came out of the bathroom, his hair still wet from the shower.   
  
Sam looked at Dean longingly until he realised he was staring too intently, so he quickly initiated a conversation between them. “How about I drive? It looks like you could do with some rest. And besides, you’re probably still over the limit from last night”.   
  
Dean stuffed his belongings in his duffel haphazardly. “Nuh. I’ll be fine Sam. I manage it every morning, and this one is not any different. In fact I hardly drank at all last night”.   
  
“I just want to look after you. Like you looked after me yesterday” Sam pleaded desperately. “I’d quite like to drive. It‘s been a while”.   
  
“Jeez. Okay. She’s all yours” Dean said as he tossed the keys over to his little brother. Sam had made the cutest face and he never could say no to his puppy dog eyes look. “Look after my baby! You put a dent in her bodywork and you’re dead meat” he said as he yawned. “Now you mention it, I could do with a nap”.   
  
Sam relaxed and sighed deeply. “Told you. Sleep all you want in the car, don’t worry, I‘ll look after her” he said. The Impala was one of his brother‘s most loved possessions and he would never intentionally do anything that would harm her. “This place we need to check out is just over an hour’s drive from here. I’ve already mapped it out. You ready to go?” he asked eagerly.   
  
Dean slung his duffel over his right shoulder and put his hand out to the door handle. “Lead the way Sammy”.   
  
##############################################################   
  
As Sam drove, he kept his eyes firmly on the road in front of him. Having something to focus on kept his mind off of how nauseous he felt. His stomach made a funny noise every once in a while, threatening to regurgitate itself.   
  
Dean took up Sam’s offer and was fast asleep next to him in the passenger seat. The seat had been lowered and he was lying down, his jacket shielding his eyes from the mid-morning sunshine. He moaned softly in his sleep. A sound that caused something inside of Sam to stir with delight.   
  
Sam looked over and smiled and let his mind wander off as the scenery passed him in a blur.   
  
  
_Dean moaned deliciously as he arched backwards, thrusting deeper into the younger hunter. “Sammy. I’m so close. So close”.  
  
“Don’t hold back Dean. I want you to come right now, don‘t hold back. Please” he begged. “I’m close too”.  
  
“Oh God!” Dean shouted as he let out a deep-throated moan as his orgasm reached it’s crescendo.   
  
Sam trembled as he felt Dean’s cock twitch inside of him. His orgasm came only seconds later; intense, fierce and truly amazing.   
_  
  
Sam fought off another wave of nausea as it brought him back to the present. “What’s wrong with me?” he thought to himself. “Nausea, headaches, vomiting, dizzy spells”. He yawned. “And why am I so God damned tired too after sleeping for most of yesterday”.   
  
  
_Dean fought with the condom packet, trying to tear open the foil wrapping in his haste to get inside of Sam.  
  
“Dean, just hurry up already. Forget about that” Sam said urgently as he gasped for oxygen and his heart raced. He needed, wanted to be filled by the older hunter. “I’ll deal with it in the morning”.   
  
“Okay” Dean said as he threw the condom aside and continued kissing Sam, leaving a trail of sloppy wet kisses down his body.   
  
_  
“We didn’t use a condom. Shit” Sam thought to himself again. “Oh shit. Does that mean that I could be…” he started to say as he suddenly slammed the brakes on the car and skidded to a halt. He put his head on the steering wheel and tried to calm himself down.   
  
“What the hell?” Dean asked as the abrupt halt of the car woke him up. “Be careful with my baby. What did she ever do to you?”.   
  
Sam lifted his head off the wheel and looked at his brother. “I- There-Um” he stuttered whilst trying to think of a plausible lie. “A rabbit ran out in front of me!”.   
  
Dean just gave him a funny look. “So? You should have run it over if it was that stupid to get in the way. It’s not worth killing us to save a damn rabbit!” he said as he peered out his window curiously.   
  
“You’re all heart aren’t you Dean?” Sam said bitterly. He didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh.   
  
“So when’s the next rest stop Sam?” Dean asked, apparently oblivious to his brother’s outburst. “I could really go for some food right now”.   
  
“We’re about 12 miles away from the town we’re headed to. I’ll find somewhere to stop when we arrive” Sam said as he put the car into gear again.   
  
Dean brought the back of his seat back up. “Can I trust you to drive us there safely?” he asked grinning at Sam.   
  
Sam didn’t really see the funny side of it in light of his revelation. Albeit, his unconfirmed revelation. As soon as they got to the town he would head straight to the drug store. There was no point worrying about it until it was confirmed. “I’m good” he finally said as he tried to smile. “We’ll be there in 15 minutes. Go back to sleep” he said as he pulled the car back onto the main road. He hoped that Dean would abide once again. He needed some time to gather his thoughts before he could make conversation with his brother again.   
  
##############################################################   
  
As they reached the town, Sam’s eyes scanned the vicinity as he drove through slowly before parking up on the side of the road. Dean’s eyes lit up as he saw a bustling diner opposite him.   
  
Sam’s eyes were drawn to the drugstore a few doors down. He would have to stall his brother long enough for him to go in and buy what he wanted.   
  
“Dean? Why don’t you go and get us a table and start ordering food. I’ll feed the meter and lock up the car. I’ll meet you in there in a few minutes” Sam said, trying to play it cool.   
  
Dean opened the car and got out straight away. His need for food was a priority right now. “I may as well just wait for you? It takes all of 20 seconds to feed the meter. Besides I don’t know what you want to eat” he said reluctantly, realising the potential problem.   
  
“Just order whatever you think I’ll like” Sam said as he got out the car. He bit down on his lip nervously. He didn’t really care about the food anyway. He wouldn’t be able to stomach it.   
  
“Sam?” Dean asked as he folded his arms across his chest as he noticed his brother‘s apprehension. “Are you okay? You just seem a little on edge today”.   
  
“I’m fine” Sam protested. “Seriously, you go on ahead. I’ve got to get change for the meter so I’ll be a while”.   
  
Dean looked longingly over at the diner. His stomach chose that moment to growl loudly as it demanded food. “Okay” he said reluctantly. “But make sure you lock her up properly!” he told his brother. “Don’t want anyone going in the trunk”.   
  
Sam’s patience was starting to wear thin. “Dean? I know how to lock a car up. Now get going” he said as he waved his brother off down the street. He took his time feeding the meter and waited until Dean was safely inside the diner before darting over to the drugstore.   
  
He pushed the door open, causing the little bell above it to ring tunefully. The shop wasn’t very big and should be easy for him to find what he was looking for. He walked slowly down the small aisles until he found it. In fact, several of them.   
  
“Can I be of any assistance?” a small voice squeaked from behind him, which startled him. The woman laughed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you sir”.   
  
“It’s okay” Sam said as his eyes gazed back over to the selection of tests in front of him. He dwarfed the petite women who was stood next to him. “Which one of these do you recommend?” he asked nervously. “I need something that’s going to be reliable”.   
  
“They’re all different brands, but essentially do the same thing. It’s probably an idea to buy a few, just to make sure. That way it should make the result more reliable” the assistant said as she pointed to different boxes on the shelf.   
  
Sam smiled weakly. “Thank you. I’ll take these 3 for now” he said as he randomly picked up some tests and followed the woman to the cash register.   
  
She scanned the items and put them into a small bag. “That’s $29.75” she declared.   
  
“Here you are” Sam said as he handed over $30. “Don’t worry about the change. Keep it. Have a nice day” he said as he took his purchases and put them in his inside pocket of his jacket.   
  
He walked into the diner and saw his brother sitting at one of the tables on the far end nursing a cup of coffee. The thought of the inky liquid made his stomach churn.   
  
“I’ve ordered us a stack of pancakes and maple syrup each” Dean said happily. “Apparently it’s their speciality” he said winking at the waitress.   
  
“Great” Sam said un-enthusiastically as he looked around for the restroom.   
  
Dean motioned to the seat opposite him. “You going to sit down or what? You’re making the place look untidy!”.   
  
Sam scratched the side of his neck. “I’ll be back in a minute” he said as he found what he was looking for.   
  
“Where are you going now?” Dean asked as he slurped his coffee in an undignified manner.   
  
“Bathroom!” Sam said abruptly as he patted his jacket pocket to make sure he still had his purchases.   
  
“Can’t you hold it? Food will be here in a bit. And you got to eat them while they’re still hot” the older hunter said.   
  
“No I can’t. I won’t be long” Sam said as he walked over to the restroom.   
  
He didn’t hear his older brother mutter under his breath. “Jeez Sammy, why so grumpy?”. Dean sighed solemnly as he watched his brother walk away. Was he still upset because he had refused to confide in him? His eyes looked down at the tarry coffee in his mug as his mind wandered elsewhere back to the promise he had made his brother.   
  
  
_The older hunter looked down at his naked sibling with lustful eyes. “Do you trust me Sammy? I’ll never hurt you. I promise you that”.  
  
Sam blushed back as his hand brushed over the older hunter’s cheek. “I trust you Dean. I know that you’ll never hurt me. I trust you with my life” he admitted.   
  
Dean smiled and bowed his head down to make contact with the fleshy soft skin of his brother’s chest.   
_  
###########################################################   
  
Sam had carried out the necessary instructions. Now all he had to do was wait patiently. He set a timer for 3 minutes on his cell phone. He laid the 3 tests out on top of the cistern of the toilet. His head rested against the side of the cubicle.   
  
What if the tests confirmed his fears? He couldn’t have a baby. Not with his own brother anyway. How would he tell Dean seeing as he doesn’t remember a thing from that night?   
  
His cell beeped loudly declaring that the sufficient time had passed. He willed himself to look. The first test had two pink lines. He glanced frantically down at the instructions.   
  
_Two lines- Pregnant._  
  
Maybe that one was giving a false positive. He looked at the next test. This one had two lines too.   
  
_Pregnant.  
_  
He didn’t need the instruction sheet for this one. It displayed one word in it’s window.   
  
_Pregnant._  
  
Panic started to rise in his throat. He tried to control his breathing before he went into full panic attack mode. He grabbed the tests and threw them in the trash can next to him. He didn’t want them looking up at him any longer, rubbing his predicament in his face, not once, not twice, but three times.   
  
How the hell was he going to go back out there and face his brother? It wouldn’t be long before Dean would smell a rat. With a nose like a blood-hound and his natural instincts as a hunter he would certainly be found out soon. Maybe he could just pretend that the baby is someone else’s? But then he could see the disappointment on Dean’s face if he announced that he had fucked some random guy and was stupid enough to get himself pregnant.   
  
Realising that he’d been gone a while, he wiped his eyes, flushed the toilet and stepped out of the cubicle.   
  
When he went back to the table Dean was tucking into his pancakes. Sam skulked in and sat on the chair. He grabbed his fork and started to poke at his pancakes without really looking up at his brother.   
  
“Dude! What took you so long? I thought that you‘d been flushed down the toilet” Dean said with his mouth full. He poured more icing sugar on his plate.   
  
“There was a queue” Sam lied as he stabbed a pancake and stirred it round in the maple syrup.   
  
Dean just shrugged as he devoured another mouthful. “I didn‘t think that it was that busy in here?”.   
  
“Just drop it Dean!” Sam said through gritted teeth.   
  
Dean opened his mouth to reply but decided against it and changed the subject. “How good are these pancakes?” he asked Sam. He hadn’t noticed that Sam hadn’t done any more than just play with his food.   
  
Sam kept his eyes on his plate. “Yeah, they’re really something” he said as he tried to distract himself by looking over to the table in front of them where a baby and it’s mother were sat. The baby started to cry and wriggle around, showing it’s displeasure.   
  
“I wish that kid would quit whining! It‘s giving me a headache!”. Dean complained. “Seriously, could it make anymore noise?”.   
  
“Well if you didn’t go out last night, again, then maybe you wouldn’t have such a bad a headache!” Sam said, feeling anger rise up from inside. “Since when have screaming kids bothered you? I thought you didn‘t mind them” he said before he had a chance to think about it.   
  
Dean screwed his face up and scoffed loudly. “It’s a baby. Come on dude, get real!”.   
  
Sam stabbed violently at one of the pancakes causing the icing sugar to blow up in the air and coat the table. “Yeah you’re right! It would mean that you‘d actually have to grow up and become a responsible adult then”.   
  
“Hey, whatever‘s got your back up, don’t take it out on the food. That’s good food! I’m not quite sure what I’ve done wrong either? Are you going to eat it or what?” Dean asked as he’d demolished everything on his plate- and licked it clean much to Sam’s disgust.   
  
“No. You can have them” Sam said pushing his plate away as Dean eyed the food up greedily. “I’m not hungry. My stomach hasn’t really recovered since yesterday” he lied. “I’m going to make a start on some enquiries. We can cover more ground if we split up anyway” he said as he stood back up and started to walk away.   
  
Dean was too busy enjoying his second plate of pancakes to really notice Sam. “Okay. The fresh air will do you good and hopefully get rid of your foul mood! I don‘t know what your problem is this morning!!”.   
  
Sam stopped in his tracks and turned back around to look at his brother. “My problem? Maybe it’s you Dean! I’m just fed up. I can’t carry on like this anymore. I’ve been tip-toeing around you for months now because you’re not man enough to talk about your feelings!” he shouted back, unaware that people were staring over at him, wondering what all the commotion was about.   
  
“Sammy…..” Dean started to say as he looked around at the staring faces. He pushed Sam’s plate of pancakes to one side. He wasn’t hungry anymore either. “You’re making a scene…..please. Can we talk about this somewhere else?”.   
  
“No…I want to be alone….you’re right the fresh air might do me some good” Sam said as he turned on his heels again and headed straight for the door, without looking back. He sped up his pace and made a quick exit from the diner. He just needed to get away from his brother.   
  
His brother that he longed for so much.   
  
A brother who was going to father his unborn child.   
  
He sat down on the side of the road out of the view of the diner. He closed his eyes and did a mental calculation in his head. He couldn’t be much more than 6 weeks along. It was still early enough to consider options.   
  
Even though he now felt anger and resentment for his brother right now, it still didn’t change how he felt for him. He put his hand on his still flat abdomen where his and Dean’s child was growing. If he couldn’t have Dean, then having his child would be the next best thing to it.   
  
He suddenly realised why he was over-reacting so much about Dean spiralling out of control.   
  
He loved his brother. A love that ran so much deeper than love between two brothers.   
  
“Sam?” a familiar voice said from behind him.   
  
Sam quickly wiped his eye that was threatening to spill tears. He removed his hand that was still resting on his stomach.   
  
Dean slowly edged forward and pointed to a spot next to his brother. “May I?”.   
  
“It’s a free country” Sam shrugged. His voice was devoid of any emotion.   
  
The older brother rubbed his hand over his face and exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry Sam. I didn’t realise that this was having such an effect on you. It’s just hard for me…..you know….to talk about it……”.   
  
Sam had composed himself and was now calm and collected. “I understand that. But I just can’t sit back and watch you destroy your life. I was the one who had to spend 4 months without you…..I don’t want to have to spend the rest of my life without you…..all because you couldn’t confide in me…I just want to help…..I want the old Dean back…..I love you” he pleaded.   
  
Sam’s words really struck a chord inside Dean. He knew that Sam meant that he loved him as a brother. But Dean loved Sam more than that. He suddenly felt guilty. He was just trying to protect the man that he loved, he never intended to hurt Sam like this. He thought that it was for the best. But he was obviously wrong. He moved his hand close to his brother’s, but then withdrew it suddenly. “Okay Sam. The thing is….I didn’t want to tell you about my time in hell, because…..I’m afraid that you’ll hate me for it….and I’m ashamed. And I don’t want you to think bad of me” he said as his eyes started to fill with tears.   
  
The young hunter’s bottom lip quivered. “Dean…..I would never think bad of you. No matter what you’ve done. I don’t need protecting anymore”.   
  
“I don’t want to get you involved in this. It’s messed up my life…..I don’t want it messing yours up as well” Dean said sadly. “I care too much about you for that”.   
  
The younger sibling broke down as he watched his older brother start to get upset and bear his soul. “I’m already involved Dean! Don’t you get it? I hear you crying out in your sleep, screaming for it to stop! I’m watching you drink yourself to an early grave because you’re too scared to face the real world again! And I care too much about you to let you do that to yourself”.   
  
Dean closed his eyes as he felt another pang of guilt that Sam had to witness his distressing nightmares. “I’m sorry that you have to hear that”. He paused as he mustered up his energy and courage to break his silence. “The four months that I spent in hell? It was more like 40 years”.   
  
Sam put his hand on Dean’s. He didn’t know whether it was to comfort his brother, or whether it was a selfish act to comfort himself. Either way, he revelled in the soft, warm touch.   
  
This small gesture by his younger brother gave the older hunter the assurance and confidence that he needed to continue. “I was tortured…..all day….every day……cut to pieces…..torn to shreds……and then they put me back together and started all over again…….”.   
  
“Dean….” Sam gasped. He had some idea about what had gone on, but hearing it was another thing. He brushed his hand up and down his brother’s.   
  
“And then….they gave me a choice…..they would stop with the constant torture….if……if…..” Dean broke down in tears and was unable to continue.   
  
Sam took his brother in his arms and tried to console him as much as he could. “It’s okay….nobody is going to hurt you like that again…..”.   
  
Dean pulled away from his brother. He knew that was he was about to say next would make him feel ashamed. He didn’t want Sam being disappointed at him. “Wait! There’s more…..I gave in to them….I did it…..I turned into a monster just like them……turned into what we hunt….”.   
  
“You can’t compare yourself to the filthy things that we hunt…..” Sam said. He had to stay calm for the sake of his brother. He had never seen Dean so vulnerable, so weak, like this. It made his heart break even more.   
  
“I am!” Dean shouted. “I wanted the pain and torture to stop….so I struck a deal with them….for them to stop….and I became the torturer instead of the one receiving it. I gave in……I picked up that knife and started to carve into innocent souls…….I’m sorry….I will understand if you can’t ever look at me ever again” he wailed.   
  
Sam closed his eyes and tuned into the sound of his distressed sibling, sobbing quietly to himself. He opened his eyes again and looked deep into Dean’s green eyes, which were now blood-shot. “Dean…..anyone else in your situation would have done the same thing…..It’s not your fault…..really”.   
  
Dean turned his head away from his brother and hung his head low in shame. After his shocking confession he was unable to look at Sam. “It is……I was weak. Dad never would have given into them. But I did”.   
  
Sam put his hand out and turned his brother’s head back up to look at him again. “What’s done is done. It’s in the past now. You need to get on with the rest of your life now. Look towards the future” he said as his hand moved slowly down to his stomach. Now was as good as any to tell Dean his own secret. “Dean……I need to tell you something…….”.   
  
The older hunter wiped his eyes. “You’re right. But I can’t just forget everything that’s happened that easily. But I need to try and get my life back on track. Make everything go back to normal……well normal for us anyway….” he said as he stood up and made himself presentable again. “No more chick flick moments, hey Sam? Let’s go and find ourselves some demons and kick some ass” he said enthusiastically.   
  
Sam remained frozen on the spot, emotionless. Dean wanted normality. He couldn’t mess that up for him right now.   
  
“Sam?” Dean said as he clicked his fingers by his ear. “Were you going to say something?”.   
  
“Uh….yeah…” Sam said as he stood up and forced a smile. “Yeah….I’m…I‘m not really sure that the those symbols are going to turn into anything, so I‘ve found us another hunt” he said, saying the first thing that came to his mind. His voice wobbled and sounded weak.   
  
Dean rubbed his hands together briskly. “Great! Let’s get going on it then!”. He saw that his younger brother was yet to recover fully from their intense conversation. “We’re alright, aren’t we Sammy?” he asked, worried that his sibling now thought the worst of him.   
  
“Yeah. Of course we are. We’re going to be fine. Everything’s going to be okay” Sam said as he brushed his hand over his flat abdomen. “I promise everything is going to be absolutely fine”. It broke his heart to even think it, but whilst Dean was still in a fragile state he could never know about the baby, or about their night together.   
  
Not yet anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

A hunt had kept the brother’s occupied for a few days but then their trail went cold, which meant that they had time to reflect on their respective lives.   
  
Dean was getting antsy and tried to do as many things as possible to occupy his time and his mind since his revelation to his younger sibling. He couldn’t bear to look at Sam, because of his shame, so he stuck to his nightly rituals of going out, getting drunk and hooking up with women.  
  
Fortunately, this worked out quite well for Sam, because it gave him some time to consider his options with regards to his unborn child.   
  
His and Dean’s, unborn child.   
  
Another advantage of Dean being distant and distracted was that he didn’t notice Sam’s worsening morning sickness, which sometimes persisted until late afternoon.  
  
This morning was the same as the last few days. Dean was in a semi-conscious state on the bed, sleeping off the alcohol from the night before. And when Sam’s nausea had struck again, he had run into the bathroom, turned on the shower which would mask the sound of him emptying his stomach into the white porcelain throne, which he was becoming well accustomed too by now.   
  
By the time Dean woke, which was usually around midday, the worse of Sam’s sickness was over. Although he looked pale and sickly, Dean never suspected that his brother was ill and put his sulky mood down to him being disappointed in him in light of his shocking confession.  
  
Sam had showered and dressed and when he didn’t think that he would be sick anymore, he wandered back into the bedroom where Dean was still spread-eagle on the bed, oblivious to anything that had been going on in the bathroom. He paced around the room anxiously. He had been somewhat in denial about his pregnancy for the past few days. He now needed to acknowledge it and look through his options. He was exhausted and still felt extremely nauseous. The pregnancy was already taking it’s toll on his body.  
  
Sam looked over at his sleeping brother again. It was only 10am and he wouldn’t be up for at least a couple of hours yet. He needed to get out of the room. He needed fresh air. He grabbed the room keys and his cell, and fighting another wave of nausea he left the room and closed the door behind him as quietly as he could.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam had found that he had wandered for about half an hour until he wound up in an internet café. He wouldn’t have been able to use his laptop for what he was about to do, for fear that Dean would find a way to dig deep into the web browser history whilst looking at porn.  
  
Sitting down in the far corner, he looked around the room. A group of giggling young girls were sat on one computer, a middle-aged man on another. They were sat far enough away from him and seemed too immersed in their own business to pay any attention to him. Even so, he pulled his hood up over his head, merely for his own comfort and began to type into the search engine.  
  
As the computer began it’s search, he drummed his fingers nervously on the table top whilst he waited. When the web results flashed up he scrolled down to a link that caught his attention.  
  
A clinic which was a mere mile away from here. He clicked on another link which enabled him to book an appointment on-line. He clicked his tongue in annoyance as the soonest appointment he could have was tomorrow morning at 11am.   
  
Somehow, he needed to persuade Dean to stay in town until at least tomorrow afternoon. He hastily filled in the form but paused on a few questions.   
  
_Name._ There was no way that he was going to declare his name or any of his personal details for that matter. He quickly typed in a name.   
_John Smith._  
  
It wasn’t very original but it was the first one that came to him. He played with his date of birth a little, by reversing the day and the month. Under the home address section, he left it blank.  
  
His finger hovered over the ‘send’ button and quickly clicked on the mouse to send it before he changed his mind. His stomach jolted suddenly when he realised how much this was going to cost him.   
  
_$500. That was their price for complete anonymity._  
  
There was no way he could use one of their fraudulent credit cards to pay for the appointment. Dean would become suspicious. The only way to remain anonymous would be to pay in cash. But then if he took that amount of money from their pile of money, Dean would again question him as to why they’re short.  
  
He needed a way to make a quick $500. He had drained his bank account when he was back in Stanford and there was no-one that he could ask to borrow money from. Dean was the one that acquired their money and he kept very close tabs on it.  
  
Even if he got himself a job for the day, he would never earn anything close to the amount that he needed. He decided that he wasn’t going to dwell on that too much, and that he would worry about it when the time came. The screen in front of him went blank as his time on the computer had expired. He wasn’t going to waste any more precious dollars so he left the café and trudged back to their motel room.  
  
To his surprise, Dean was up and about and eager to move on to the next town to look for a hunt. He had already packed his duffle bag and gathered up Sam’s belongings when he walked in through the door.  
  
“Morning Sammy, you ready to go?” Dean asked surprisingly cheery for someone who had only had a few hours sleep.  
  
Sam was taken back by his brother’s sudden change in mood. “Ready to go where?” he asked glumly.   
  
“I don’t know, just somewhere else. This is a dead-end town. We’ve been here for 3 days and it’s not turned up anything. So let’s move on” Dean said as he zipped up his bag and stuffed the free bars of soap from the bathroom into a side pocket.  
  
Sam froze on the spot. He hadn’t expected Dean to want to leave town so soon. He thought that he would have had at least an hour or so to come up with a diversion tactic to buy him another night in the motel room. “Why are you so eager to leave? I thought we could have another night here to rest up before we go off in pursuit of another hunt. I‘m kinda tired too, I could do with some more rest”.  
  
Dean looked at his younger brother and gave a puzzled look. When Sam realised that he wasn’t convinced enough he continued his train of thought. “We haven’t really turned over this town and I think it’s worth exploring it some more, just one more night and then if we still haven’t come up with anything, we’ll leave tomorrow night”.  
  
Dean studied Sam intensely. He seemed apprehensive. He was almost to the point of begging him. He wasn’t sure why Sam wanted to stay in this town for yet another night but if that’s what he really wanted, then there must have been a reason. He didn’t want to go into it but judging by the younger hunter’s pale and tired looking face, he had no choice but to give in. He toed off his shoes and flopped back onto the bed. “Okay Sam. One more night. Just give me another couple of hours to sleep and then we’ll see if we can pull up anything in this town” he said as he closed his eyes to go to sleep.  
  
“I’ll make a start” Sam said quickly. He wanted an excuse to leave the room as soon as possible before his older brother started to question him some more on why he was so keen to stay in this town anymore. “I’ll catch up with you in a few hours” he said. He wasn’t sure where he was going to go this time, or what he was going to do. But the less he was around his brother at the moment, the better.  
  
The only response that Sam got, was a muffled groan from under the pillow. He still had another obstacle that he needed to get over. Where the hell he was going to get $500 from in a little over 24 hours?  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Sam was perched on a stool in the nearest bar to their motel. He had all but given up hope in finding the money that he would need. He had trawled all of the local shops for job vacancies but none of them offered close to what he needed and they all required several hours of work every week. Seeing as he would be gone from here tomorrow, it was no use.  
  
A pretty brunette behind the bar came over to Sam and popped the lid off a cold beer and handed it over to him. “Looks like you could do with this!” she said kindly.  
  
Sam looked up to find that she was leaning over the bar top and smiling kindly at him. He studied the bottle of beer and shook his head. “No, I’m okay, thank you” he said. He knew that drinking wasn’t the best idea right now.  
  
The brunette shrugged her shoulders and stood back up. She tried to hide her disappointment. “Okay, no worries”.  
  
“Wait” Sam said quickly as he felt guilty for turning down a kind gesture. “You’re right, I do need this” he said as he curled his hand around the neck of the bottle. One beer wasn’t going to do any harm. He took a swig of the beer and instantly felt more relaxed as it slipped down his throat. “Thank you”.  
  
“I’m Lisa” the brunette said as she extended her hand out.  
  
“Sam” the hunter replied as he shook the barmaid’s outstretched hand. He pulled his hand away when he realised that he had kept hold of it for a few seconds more than he probably should have. He hardly ever declared his real name to strangers. He cleared his throat. “How much do I owe you for the beer” he asked as he rifled through his jeans pocket for any spare change.  
  
Lisa blushed at the sentiment and flicked her long glossy hair behind her shoulder. “Forget about it. It’s on the house. I like to think of it as me giving to charity”.  
  
Sam nearly choked on his second sip of beer. “You think that I’m a charity case?” he asked.  
  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that you look like you could do with someone to talk to, that’s all” she said. She hadn’t meant to offend him.  
  
Sam surprised himself by laughing. “Well, you’re not wrong there. But the thing is that I don’t have anyone I can talk to. And to be honest, I don’t really want to. I don’t want people to know how screwed up my life is right now” he said as he took another sip of his beer.  
  
“Then don’t. Just sit here for as long as you need to procrastinate. I know by your look that it‘s about someone that you love, right? The thing is, I‘m in the same boat.” Lisa said as she put her hand down next to Sam’s. Her tone of voice was reassuring. “But look around you Sam. This bar is full of lost causes, just like us! See that guy over there? His wife has just left him for his best friend” she said as she pointed to a middle aged man who looked even worse for wear than himself.  
  
“And that man over there?” she said as she pointed to another man who was slumped over the bar with an empty bottle of whiskey by his side. “His business has just gone down the drain and he’s lost everything. Bankrupt. Nothing. Nada” she said. “So you see sweetie? I’m used to people just sitting here and drowning their sorrows. But for some reason, I think that you’re going to be just fine”.  
  
Sam studied the other people in the bar. Some people were sat at tables, others were leant against the wall, and the rest were perched on bar stools just like himself. But each and every one of them looked as glum as the next and were cradling a glass or bottle of alcohol. “I wish that I shared your view on that matter” he said as he guzzled down the rest of his beer and slammed it down on the bar top.  
  
“There is nothing that can’t be solved in this world” she said as she continued to talk to Sam, despite the fact that there were customers at the other end of the bar who were trying to get her attention. “Except that hustling pool isn’t going to get back your million dollar fortune” she said as she looked over at the bankrupt man who was challenging a group of rowdy men to a game of pool. “Anyway, you want another beer?” she asked as she noticed that Sam had drained his bottle.  
  
A switch went off in Sam’s brain as he watched the man hustle for pool. Lisa was right, the man wasn’t going to get rich, but he could earn himself a few hundred dollars if he was clever. He had seen Dean do it often enough and the last time he won big, it fed them both for over a week. This was it, this could be his answer to getting the money that he needed. He rummaged in his coat pocket to find that he had a total sum of $100. It wasn’t that much, but it would be enough to get him going. He jumped up off the bar stool and pushed it in underneath the bar top. “No, I’m good. Thank you” he said as he turned on his heels and started to walk away.  
  
“Wait!” Lisa shouted back at Sam. “How long are you in town for?” she asked as she smoothed down some stray strands of hair.  
  
Sam paused and turned back round. He felt guilty at how rude and ungrateful he must have looked. He walked up to the bar slowly and smiled. “I’ll be gone by this time tomorrow. Thank you very much for caring about me, but I’ll be fine. Take care” he said.  
  
Lisa’s face fell when she realised that Sam was going. “And you. You know where I am….if you’re ever passing through this town again”.  
  
“One day, you’re going to meet someone special. Never give up hope on that. Everybody deserves someone special in their lives. Just promise me one thing…..when you find that person, tell them how much they mean to you and then never, ever let them go” Sam said sadly.  
  
“I promise” Lisa said as she watched Sam turn on his heels again, trudge the length of the bar and disappear out of the door.  
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
 _Dean pushed up out of the dirt. He didn’t know how it had happened, but he was free. Free from hell. Free from the torture and the pain. There was only one person that he wanted to see. Only person that could make him feel better.  
  
That was Sam. Someone that he thought that he would never see again.  
  
After he quenched his thirst and satisfied his hunger, there was only one more vital thing that he needed. The last memory of his brother was his quiet sobs as he felt his soul being ripped out of his body as it entered the underworld. He watched Sam’s face fade until it was no more.  
  
His search for Sam was frantic and relentless. He had practically died so that he could save his brother. And he would do it again in a heartbeat. He couldn’t bear to think about whether he was still alive or not.  
  
When he finally turned up a lead on his brother’s whereabouts, he wept with relief. He pictured every outline of Sam’s face and imagined his reaction when he would see him again.  
  
He imagined Sam’s arms hugging him tight, holding him close and giving him reassurance that everything would be okay again.  
  
Except when he opened the door to Sam’s motel room, it was not the perfect picture that he had imagined.  
  
Yes, Sam had hugged him tight. Yes, Sam gave him reassurance.   
  
But there was one thing that suddenly bothered him greatly and he had no idea why.   
  
He was jealous. Jealous of the woman that Sam had clearly just been intimate with.   
_  
  
Dean suddenly opened his eyes and sat up in bed. He woke up in a cold sweat as he remembered his feeling of bitterness and resentment towards the women that had been with Sam that night.   
  
He was surprised at this memory. Even though it was only a few months ago, he had pushed it out of his mind. Was that when he realised that he loved Sam more than he should? Or did it run back even further? None of the women that he had been with since Sam, made him feel the way that he did that night.  
  
A part of him was glad that Sam wasn’t here, because he didn’t know how he would react after his dream forced him to relive that memory. It was now late in the afternoon.  
  
Purely just for something to do, he stumbled into the bathroom, turned on the shower and stood under the tepid stream of water.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam was strolling back to the motel room, immersed in his thoughts.  
  
  
 _Sam put his arms round Dean and held him tight. It was no good. There was too much blood. He could see it dripping freely. He could smell it cutting through the air. This was the moment that he was going to lose his brother forever._  
  
He could see the fear in his older brother’s eyes. He struggled to hold back the tears. His brother had sacrificed his life for him. He watched as his brother slipped away from him, as he held him tight.   
  
He should have told him then. He should have told his brother how much he actually loved him. But Dean was gone. Gone for four agonising months.   
  
He had tried everything to find a way to see Dean again. But nothing worked. He had given up hope. He was regretful that he never told Dean how he felt. And now it was too late.  
  
Until that fateful day.  
  
He immersed himself in women, but nothing could ease how he felt about Dean.   
  
When he had opened the motel room door and found the only person that he had really ever loved standing on the other side of the door. It was what he had hoped to see for months.   
  
He threw his arms around his brother. He never wanted to let him go again. For those few seconds, everything felt so right. Maybe now was the time to declare his true feelings to him.  
  
But then Dean laid his eyes on the latest women he had taken advantage of. He saw the look of disappointment in his brother’s eyes.  
  
The moment was gone. And he would never have that back. Or so he had thought at the time.  
  
  
Sam suddenly stopped walking as he realised that he had reached the door to the motel room. His found his key on the key fob and opened the door slowly. His heart nearly missed a beat when Dean appeared, wrapped in a towel, hair still damp from his shower.  
  
“Did you find anything?” Dean asked as he broke the awkward silence in the room. He could feel Sam’s eyes on him.  
  
“No” Sam said as he quickly cleared his throat. “You’re right, this town is a dead-end. There’s nothing here. Nothing at all. We’ll leave tomorrow afternoon. I thought that we could go out tonight, you know, have a few drinks?” he suggested. The last time that happened, was what got him in the predicament that he was in right now.  
  
Dean was shocked at the suggestion. “What, you want to come out with me? Like to a bar?” he asked, wanting to clarify things.  
  
Sam knew that this sounded strange but he had to get the money that he so desperately needed. “Yeah. Why not? I’m just going to jump in the shower, then we’ll head out!” he said as he headed into the bathroom.  
  
“Okay” Dean shouted back as he watched his brother disappear through the door. For some reason he felt nervous. He threw his shirt down on the bed and pulled out a fresh one. He wanted to make an effort to look good for his brother.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
“Two beers please” Dean said as he drummed his fingers on the bar top.  
  
The bartender nodded his head and produced the bottles of beer. “Here you are. Anything else?” he asked as he studied Dean.  
  
“How about a round of shots too!” Dean answered confidently.  
  
Sam put his arm out to protest. “No, Dean. Really. I shouldn’t be drinking at all” he said quietly before he cut himself short. He nearly said too much.  
  
Dean scoffed back. “Come on Sam. You’re over 21! Why the hell not? A couple of beers isn’t going to do you any harm at all!” he said.  
  
“Okay” Sam said reluctantly. For some reason, whatever Dean wanted him to do, he felt like he needed to oblige. He made a point of taking a swig of beer whilst Dean was watching. His eyes were drawn to a group of men playing a round of pool. They had already started to get their money out and things were looking serious.  
  
Dean moved his hand closer to Sam. He closed his eyes for a second to take in the fruity smell of Sam’s hair. He wished he could run his fingers delicately through the waves.   
  
Sam noticed the small gesture. He could practically hear his brother’s heart beat, like his own, pounding faster and faster in his chest. He wanted Dean to move his hand even closer, and then to kiss him like he meant it, in front of the whole damn bar. That was just a childish fantasy.  
  
He had work to do. He needed to distract him.  
  
“Hey, Dean. That barmaid is totally checking you out!” Sam said as he quickly did a scan of the room and found the first mildly attraction women he could.  
  
Dean pulled his hand back quickly. “Her?” he said as his head turned round to look at the women in question.  
  
Sam closed his eyes. It was breaking his heart to do this. The last thing he wanted was to see Dean with yet another women, especially one with whom he had helped to get started. “Yeah. Why don’t you go over and talk to her” he said.  
  
“O-kay” Dean said reluctantly. Sure, the women, was pretty. But she wasn’t Sam. “Are you sure? I thought that we were going to spend some time together?”. He really wanted to spend time with his brother to try and re-build their broken lives.  
  
“It’s fine. Just go” Sam said as he tried not to choke up. “I thought I’d hustle for some pool or something. May as well make myself useful, you know, we could always use the money” Sam said. What he was saying wasn’t a total lie so he didn‘t feel too bad saying it. He turned away from his brother so that Dean couldn’t see the disappointment on his face.  
  
“Fine. Just remember what I’ve taught you with regards to hustling pool. I don’t want you losing more money than you earn” Dean said.  
  
Sam smiled weakly. “Don’t worry. You’ve taught me well. I know exactly what to do”. It was true, Sam had taken in everything that his older sibling had taught him. He always looked up to his brother and had followed everything that he had done.  
  
Dean slid off from his bar stool slowly. He was torn between doing what his brother had told him, or to disobey and stay. “I know you do Sam”. He started to walk over to the women in question. He hesitated for a moment and turned back to look longingly at Sam. He opened his mouth to say something else but closed it again and continued his journey across to the other side of the room.  
  
Once Dean had started his conversation with the woman, Sam immediately looked away and turned his attention to the group of men gathered around the pool table. They had just finished a round and one of the men bundled up his winnings happily and put the money in his jacket pocket.   
  
This was Sam’s opportunity. He glanced over at his brother who looked to be enjoying the woman’s company. Downing the rest of his bottle of beer for courage he got up from the stool, straightened up his jacket and walked over to the pool table.  
  
One of the men surveyed Sam and then frowned. “Sorry buddy, but this is a private party” he sneered.  
  
Sam cleared his throat and confronted the stranger. “Surely there’s room for one more. Or are you afraid that your luck is going to run out?”.  
  
The man looked angry and puffed out his chest to show that he meant business. “Look kid, we’re playing for serious money here” he said as he looked at the rest of the group.  
  
“Will this do to get me started?” Sam said as he went into his pocket and pulled out the $100 and laid it in the middle of the pool table.  
  
“Yeah” the man said slowly. “That will work. But just so that you know, I don’t play nice” he said as he added one of his $100 notes to the pile.  
  
Sam grabbed one of the cue’s and stared intimately at the man. “Neither do I. Shall I break, or are you”.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The first game of pool that Sam played had worked out exactly as he had planned. He had the group of men fooled that he was hopelessly bad at playing pool.   
  
For the subsequent games he had played to the best of his ability, winning game after game until he got exactly what he needed. He didn’t want to be greedy and push his luck and end up losing all of his winnings so he stopped at just the right time.  
  
The group of men finished up their drinks and left the bar abruptly after, annoyed at having lost all of their money to Sam. He counted the money in his hand. He had done better than he thought. He had taken a few risky shots to earn it but there was just over $650, more than enough for what he wanted.  
  
Sam wrapped up $500 and put it aside in the inside pocket of his jacket so that Dean couldn’t get his hands on it. He kept the rest of the money in his hand and went back to the bar. As he started to walk across the room he suddenly felt a wave of dizziness and put his hands out to hold onto the nearest chair. A little reminder of his current condition.  
  
He took a few deep breaths in and out and when he felt it subside, he carried on walking until he perched himself back onto one of the bar stools. He raised his hand to summon the bartender. “Can I get a glass of water, please?” he asked.  
  
He scanned the room for his brother. When the bartender came back with a glass of iced water he took it gratefully and sipped at it slowly to stave off the nausea that was building in the pit of his stomach. The beer that he had consumed probably hadn’t helped his situation. There was no sign of Dean anywhere. He had been too involved in his games of pool to notice where his brother was. He thought that he would try his luck with the bartender. “Excuse me. Do you know where my brother went? The man that was with me earlier? Brown leather jacket, a little shorter than me?”.  
  
The bartender smiled back at Sam. “Yeah I remember. He left about 20 minutes ago with my best barmaid!” he said as he wagged his eyebrows suggestively. “I don’t think you’ll be seeing him any time soon!”.   
  
Sam slammed his glass down on the bar top, causing the water to nearly spill out over the top. “Typical Dean!” he said through gritted teeth. He didn’t know why he was so angry, he only had himself to blame, he was the one that had encouraged him to go after the woman.  
  
“You okay? You look a little pale?” the bartender asked Sam kindly. “Can I get you anything else?”.  
  
“No thank you” Sam said as he took another sip of water. His throat had suddenly gone bone dry. He could feel tears start to well up in his eyes. These past few days, he was having trouble keeping his emotions in check, probably damn hormones from the pregnancy. Another little reminder. “I’m good. I’d better be heading off anyway” he said as he slid off the bar stool. “I’ve got an early start in the morning”.  
  
“Okay, but if you see my barmaid, could you please tell her that I want her here at 10am sharp ready to open up early?” the barman said somewhat amused at the situation.  
  
Sam attempted a half-hearted laugh before he hastily left the bar. He couldn’t keep up his façade for any longer and as soon as the evening air hit him he broke down into tears as he ducked into the alleyway. Once he had composed himself he wiped away his tears and straightened out his clothes.   
  
He looked at his watch. It wasn’t even close to bed-time but he felt exhausted. Emotionally and physically drained. He felt all alone and wished that his life was different. He had always imagined that when he had a baby, it would be with a man who loved him and that he would be excited.   
  
Instead he felt ashamed, like he was carrying a dirty secret.   
  
He briskly walked the short distance back to their motel room, and laid down on his bed. Dean was probably mercifully fucking the barmaid right now. He felt tears gather in his eyes again, until he finally fell asleep, curled up in a foetal position, hugging the pillow for comfort.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The next morning Sam awoke routinely to the familiar feeling of nausea. He shot out of bed and lifted the lid of the toilet just in time as his stomach rebelled and emptied itself. This morning, he hadn’t even had enough time to switch the shower on to mask the sound. He prayed that Dean had consumed enough alcohol last night to keep him asleep for a while yet.  
  
He hadn’t set an alarm because he knew that he would awake well before he needed to be. He had mapped out his journey to the clinic yesterday and knew that it was only a 20 minute walk from here, or a 5 minute bus ride. He had decided that the safest option for his delicate stomach would be to walk. A crowded bus journey would not be fun right now.  
  
After rinsing out his mouth he reached for the toothpaste. But one smell of the minty aroma sent him straight back to the toilet as he retched violently. When he was done, he leant back across the stained cold wall of the bathroom and brought his knees up to his chest. He hated being ill. How long was this awful sickness going to last for? He wanted Dean here wiping his brow and helping him through this. His mind wandered back to a memory a few years previously when he had joined his brother on one of their first hunts together.  
  
 _Sam thrashed from side to side in the moth-eaten bed as the fever took hold of his body.  
  
He had gotten hurt in the line of fire. Although Dean had removed the bullet from his shoulder, it had become infected.  
  
“Dean…..” Sam shouted out deliriously.  
  
Dean ran over to his younger brother holding a damp cloth to mop his brow with. “I’m here Sammy. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here” he said soothingly as he ran the cold cloth across his brother’s forehead.  
  
Sam sat up abruptly and tried to blindly reach out for the trash can by the side of the bed. Dean knew what was coming next and he placed the receptacle in the right place as Sam vomited violently as Dean kept up his comforting words. “You’re going to be just fine Sam. I promise, I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. I‘m always going to look after you”.  
_  
Sam remembered how Dean had sat with him that whole night, making him drink slow sips of water and cooled him down with damp cloths and towels until his fever broke. This is what it should be like this time.   
  
But instead he had to cope with this by himself.  
  
Once he had stopped with the self-pity he got up from the floor, slowly so as not to aggravate the persistent nausea. He turned the shower on and stepped under the weak stream of water.   
  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dean had woken up to find the motel room empty. The single bed next to him where his brother had been sleeping had been made up immaculately and their belongings were all packed neatly in their bags, ready to go. He glanced at his watch and sighed heavily. Sam must have gotten up early to accomplish so much already. He got up out of bed and strolled around the room looking for a clue as to his brother’s whereabouts.  
  
Looking out the dusty window to the parking lot, he found the impala parked in exactly the same spot that he had left in hours earlier. Wherever his brother had gone he couldn’t have gotten far on foot. Stumbling over to his jacket, he fumbled around in his pocket to locate his cell phone. Pressing ‘1’ on his speed dial, he then held his phone up to his ear in anticipation.  
  
Something started buzzing by the side of him. He put his hand out to Sam’s bag and felt the source of the vibration. Sam’s cell phone.  
  
“Dammit Sammy!!’ he said swearing loudly as he threw his cell down on the bed next to his brother’s. Usually neither of them went anywhere without their cell phones.  
  
He had to assume that Sam had just gone out for a walk, or to get supplies for the impending journey later on today when they left this dead-end town. He decided he would head into town, grab some food and then by the time he did that Sam would surely be back by then.  
  
Sighing heavily he reached for his clothes and started to dress himself as he reflected on the events of the previous night. He had left the bar with the women that Sam had been so insistent on him being with.   
  
She was a beautiful women. But she wasn’t Sam.  
  
  
 _They had driven back to her apartment. Usually he would have taken her straight to bed and have had her clothes off in seconds. But last night was different._  
  
The second they were through the door, the barmaid had instantly began to remove her clothes as she dragged Dean through into the bedroom. She patted the bed seductively.  
  
Dean stood in the doorway. He was devoid of any emotion. His layers of clothing remained firmly on his body.  
  
“Come on, you’re not shy are you?” the barmaid asked as she slowly undid the clasp on her bra.  
  
The women was practically throwing herself at him but he felt nothing. No desire what-so-ever to make love to her. The only person that he wanted to be with right now was Sam. But his own brother had forced him into this and he wanted to do what he was told. He took a step towards the bed and willed himself to focus on the barmaid’s body, as she spread herself out on the bed. His usual feeling’s of arousal for a beautiful woman were gone.  
  
“I….I can’t” Dean said stuttering his words. “I’m sorry, I can’t” he said as he turned on his heels and headed for the front door.  
  
The women grabbed her blouse and thrust her arms through the holes as she leapt up from the bed. “What the hell? I’m giving you sex on a plate and you’re turning me down?” she said angrily.  
  
Dean ran his hand through a tuft of hair. “I’m sorry. You’re a beautiful women. But I can’t” he said as he pushed the door open.  
  
“Your loss asshole!” the women shouted back at him as he ran out the door and into the security of his beloved Impala.  
  
  
Dean’s stomach rumbled loudly, bringing him back to the present and reminding him that he was famished. He quickly found the keys to the Impala and slammed the motel room door shut behind as he left on his pursuit for something remotely edible.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam had reached the clinic quicker than he had expected. His long legs and nervous energy had made the walk seem shorter than it actually was. He still had 20 minutes to spare before his scheduled appointment.  
  
When he reached the door to the clinic he came to an abrupt halt. His hand reached out to the handle but he couldn’t bring himself to finish the motion and open the door. Someone on the other side suddenly opened the door on their way out which caused him to take a step back and withdraw his hand. As the expectant couple walked through the door they held it open for him.  
  
Sam held his hand out to take the weight of the door from the women. “Thank you” he managed to say as he watched the loved up couple walk away hand in hand. The man put his hand over the women’s stomach and smiled lovingly. He looked on enviously, jealous that they had each other and that he was here alone.  
  
When they disappeared round the corner as he watched, Sam realised that he was halfway through the door. He inhaled one last breath of the fresh morning air and made the two steps into the building of the unfamiliar surroundings.  
  
Nervously, he walked up to the desk and lowered his head to speak to the receptionist. “I’ve got an appointment at 11am” he said as he scanned the waiting room.  
  
The receptionist smiled and tapped at the keys on her computer. As far as she was concerned, this was just another regular patient. “Can I take your name please?”.  
  
Sam cleared his throat. “It’s…….uh….It’s Mr. Smith. John Smith” he said blushing at the obvious attempt of covering up his true identity.  
  
Credit was given to the women behind the desk as she didn’t seem to pay any attention to the pseudo name. “Okay, Mr. Smith, take a seat in the waiting area and fill this form in while you’re waiting” she said kindly as she handed over a clipboard and a pen.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said shyly as he took the items from her. He found a remote chair in the corner of the room and slunk down onto it. Scrutinizing the questionnaire, he familiarised himself with the questions. At least he knew the father’s medical history as it matched his exactly. After hastily completing the form in front of him, he anxiously twirled the pen around in fingers as he looked around at the other people in the waiting room with him.   
  
There were several couples, but also lone women and men in varying states of pregnancy. Some people looked happy and excited, and others looked just as scared and as anxious as himself. After he had studied each and every person in the room, his eyes focused on the second hand of the clock, which seemed to tick slower and slower. At one point, it almost seemed to tick backwards.  
  
After getting frustrated with the clock he decided on something else to distract him. He picked up the nearest magazine that he could find, without even looking at the front cover. He opened up a random page somewhere in the middle.   
  
It was an advertisement for strollers and car seats.   
  
Annoyed, he flicked over to the next page. This one was even worse. An advertisement depicting a happy expectant couple in a newly decorated nursery. His annoyance was growing exponentially each page he was turning over. Throwing it back down onto the table by the side of him, the front cover showed him that it was a parenting magazine. That figures, considering his location.  
  
Leaning back in the plastic seat up against the wall, Sam put his hands into his hooded jacket comfortingly and closed his eyes. He imagined that Dean was sat next to him and looking forward to seeing their baby for the first time. That’s how this should be, how he had imagined it would be.  
  
A kindly looking nurse appeared in the corridor and looked down at her chart. “Mr. Smith please?” she shouted out. “John Smith?”.  
  
Sam opened his eyes and was brought back to the harsh reality as he looked around the waiting room. When nobody got up out of their chairs, or made themselves known, he suddenly realised that it was him she was calling. Raising his hand feebly he then stood up and followed the nurse into a small examination room.  
  
“I’ll take those from you” she said as she took the clipboard and pen from Sam. “If you could strip off and put one of these gowns on, the doctor will see you shortly” she said.  
  
“O-kay” Sam managed to get out. He wasn’t sure whether the nausea he felt now was an extension of his morning sickness or whether it was due to his nerves, or something else entirely different.  
  
The nurse picked up on Sam’s apprehension. She put her hand reassuringly on his shoulder. “Relax sweetie, you’ll be fine” she said before closing the curtains around him so that he could get changed in private.  
  
When the curtains opened again, Sam was lying down on the examination table dressed in only the hospital gown. He felt exposed and vulnerable as he looked up at the doctor that had appeared.  
  
“Okay” the doctor began as he peered at the form that Sam had filled in minutes earlier. “So you’ve taken a home pregnancy test and it’s come back positive?”.  
  
Sam bit on the corner of his lower lip. “Actually, I took three”.   
  
The doctor scribbled something on the form. “Well I guess that’s enough confirmation then”. He stood over his patient, moving his hands closer to Sam. “Okay, if you could open up your gown for me we’ll get on and do a scan”. When he noticed Sam’s obvious anxiety he smiled. “Don’t worry. You‘re going to meet your baby”.  
  
“Okay” Sam said as he opened the gown slowly to reveal his exposed abdomen. When he saw the doctor armed ready with a bottle he gasped. “What’s that for?”.  
  
“It’s just some ultrasound gel. I need to put it on your abdomen before I do the scan” the doctor explained. “May I?”.  
  
Sam let out a long breath and willed himself to relax. “Yeah, sorry. Go ahead. I’m just really nervous” he said flinching at the cold gel on his stomach.  
  
“That’s understandable” the doctor said. He picked up the ultrasound probe. “The first time is always the most nerve wracking, but once you know what to expect, it‘s magical. Are you ready to see your baby?”.  
  
“Yes, I am” Sam said as he smiled. He stared at the screen by the side of him. He had no idea what to expect to see. When something flashed up his eyes focused onto a small dot in the middle. It was about the size of a fruit pip but the realisation struck him. “Is that…..is that my baby?” he asked as he suddenly felt overjoyed with emotion.   
  
The doctor drew a line along the length of the small dot. “That’s your baby” he affirmed. “It’s measuring 8mm, which puts you at about 7 weeks along. Does that fit in with what you thought?”.  
  
Sam was too choked to speak so just nodded his head blankly.  
  
“And see this tiny dot which is pulsating” the doctor said as he zoomed in on it. “That’s the baby’s heart beat. It’s too small to be able to hear at this early stage. You’ll be able to hear it at your 12 week scan”.  
  
“Wow” Sam breathed. A single tear fell from his eye. He was instantly in love with the tiny speckle on the screen. The speckle that was his and Dean’s. The tiny heart beat suddenly made it real for him. There was a new life growing inside of him. He knew now that he could never get rid of this baby. He was going to keep it, no matter what the consequences were. His joy was suddenly cut short as panic washed through him. “Does everything look okay?” he asked, suddenly worried that he had harmed his unborn baby from the emotional turmoil and drinking he had done. He had not exactly looked after himself too well.  
  
“Everything looks completely normal at this early stage” the doctor reassured. “Would you like me to print out a picture for you?”.  
  
Sam’s mind wandered to the money in his jacket pocket that had been carefully counted out. “I….I only have enough money for the consultation and the scan” he said sadly.  
  
The doctor smiled sympathetically. “Relax. The price of one photo is included in the price” he said as he pressed the print button on the keyboard. He handed the picture over to the pregnant young man who stared at it, unable to take his eyes off the black and white speckles.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said as he fought hard to stem the inevitable tide of tears that were threatening to spill out of his eyes.  
  
“No problem. We’re all finished with the scan. Everything looks good with the baby. I just need to check up on how daddy’s doing now. I’m going to put this around your arm” the doctor said as he strapped the blood pressure cuff around his patient‘s bulging bicep. “How are you finding the pregnancy so far?”.  
  
Sam looked up from the scan photo and realised that someone was taking an interest in him. “Not so good. When I’m not actually throwing up I feel sick. I’m tired all the time and have been feeling dizzy and getting bad headaches” he admitted miserably.  
  
The doctor removed the blood pressure cuff and noted it on the chart. “Well, your blood pressure is fine. All of those symptoms you‘ve just described, whilst unpleasant for you, are completely normal and indicate a healthy pregnancy. The nausea should subside before you get to the second trimester, just hang in there”.  
  
“Is there anything I can do to lessen my symptoms. I don’t want people to know I’m pregnant. Not yet anyway, seeing as it’s still early on” Sam said slowly as he thought about what he was trying to say. He cringed at how it must have sounded.  
  
“I can prescribe some anti-emetics which should take the edge off the sickness. Other than that you’ve just got to ride it out. Try taking small sips of water throughout the day, and avoid strong smelling foods. Nibbling on bland snacks and ginger biscuits to keep your blood sugar levels up, should help and cut down your chances of fainting” the doctor advised.  
  
Sam was trying to absorb everything that he was being told. It was overwhelming to say the least. “Water, biscuits, ginger. Okay, thank you”.  
  
The doctor noticed the lack of personal information on the form. “You need to make sure that you start taking pre-natal vitamins as soon as possible. Especially ones containing folic acid which is vital for the baby’s development”. He paused and looked at Sam. “Just one thing though, you’ve forgotten to fill in your address”.  
  
“My address…” Sam said blushing. “I don’t really have one, I never really stay in the same place for more than a few nights. I travel around a lot, and live on the road”.  
  
“However you choose to live your life is up to you. Just make sure that you don’t get too stressed out and get plenty of rest. I’m guessing that you won’t be coming back here for your next appointment. Make sure you arrange to be seen by someone when you hit 12 weeks” the doctor recommended concernedly.  
  
Sam’s hand wandered down to his stomach as he looked longingly at the scan photo. “I will, I promise. This baby is so precious to me. I’m going to do everything I can to look after it and myself”.  
  
The doctor relaxed and smiled at the intimate moment. “I’m sure that you will. I wish you the best of luck”.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said gratefully. It was worth every dollar, just to catch a glimpse of his unborn child and to make him realise that he needed to look after himself better.  
  
The doctor was satisfied that he had got through to the scared young pregnant man. “You and baby have both got a clean bill of health. Make sure that you hand this into the front desk and they will process your payment and sort out your medication for you. Take as long as you need to dress. And Good luck with everything” the doctor said as he left the cubicle and bid his patient farewell.  
  
“Just you and me baby. I’m going to look after you” Sam said sadly as he rubbed his hand over his flat stomach. “You and me pip” he said quietly to himself, unable to refrain from smiling.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam was sat on the bed back in the motel room half an hour later. Dean had gone, probably to get some food if he was to hazard a guess. He was looking at the scan photo again, his finger tracing the tiny outline of the baby. In fact his eyes never wandered from the image. He knew that he was going to remain firm on his decision to have the baby. He didn’t know how it was going to be possible, but he would find a way.   
  
On hearing someone fumbling with the lock on the other side of the door he quickly stashed the photo in his wallet just as Dean came through the door carrying a bag of groceries.  
  
Dean sighed in relief when he saw his brother sprawled out on the bed. “Sammy, there you are. Do you know how worried I‘ve been? And you left your cell in the room”.  
  
The younger brother sat bolt upright on the bed. “Now you know how I feel when you go out for hours at a time leaving me wondering about your whereabouts”.  
  
“Maybe so. But I’ve always got my cell phone with me if you need to get hold of me” the older brother protested as he tried to justify his actions.  
“I didn’t realise that I’d forgotten it” Sam lied. The truth was that he didn’t want to be disturbed. “So sue me!”.  
  
“Where did you get to anyway?” Dean asked as he put the brown paper bag down on the table.   
  
“I got bored. You were still sleeping so I went down to the library to use the computers there. Thought I’d trawl the internet for any leads” the younger sibling said distractedly. “You can’t expect me to sit around and wait for you to drag your lazy ass out of bed”.  
  
Dean looked over at his brother’s laptop on the table. “Well what’s wrong with your laptop then?” he asked suspiciously.  
  
Sam got up from the bed tiredly, not realising that it would take so much effort. “The wireless internet connection is really slow here”.  
  
“And they’ve got the nerve to charge us extra for that?” Dean said as he clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Just as well that we’re leaving this dump of a town. You ready to go? I’ve picked up some essentials for the journey”.  
  
“Yeah. I’m just going to the bathroom first” Sam said as he headed through the door and closed it roughly behind him.  
  
Dean started to pack the rest of their belongings into their bags. He opened up his wallet to check how much money he had on him to buy gas on the way. He had used up his cash on buying food. Their credit cards had already been used quite a bit this week and he didn’t want to risk using them again for a while. A thought had struck him- Sam had hustled for pool last night. Scanning the room, he spotted his brother’s wallet on the bed and grabbed it and went to open up the clasp when Sam emerged from the bathroom.   
  
The younger sibling was horror struck and ran over to his brother and snatched the wallet from him. “Dean, what are you doing?” he asked as he clutched the wallet close to his chest possessively.   
  
Dean snapped his mouth shut quickly in shock. “Jeez Sammy, relax. I’m out of money. We need gas, and I was checking whether you had any cash”.  
  
“You should have asked me first Dean, I don’t go rooting around in your belongings without asking you first. Besides, why can’t you put it on one of the credit cards” Sam said protectively. He would have had a job explaining the scan photo to his brother if he had found it. Now wasn’t the right time.  
  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think that it was a big deal. I only wanted cash, I’ve used the cards already in this town. I want to head upstate a bit before I use them again. We’ve got to be careful Sam, remember. Anyway, you seemed to be doing well in pool last night when I looked over so I figured that it wouldn’t be such a big deal” Dean said.  
  
Sam opened his wallet carefully and pulled out $60 and handed it over. He kept back some money so he could buy the vitamins that he needed. “There you are, that should get us started”.  
  
Dean took the money and counted it. “That’s it? That’s all you won out of hustling pool?” he asked dumbfounded. “I could have sworn I’d seen you with $100 bills last night”. It was true, he had been catching glances at his brother every now and again in between talking to the barmaid. After all, it was him that he was really lusting after.  
  
A part of the younger sibling felt pleased that his older brother had been watching that intently. But he felt sad that he had to keep the truth from him. “I did. But then I went a bit too far and lost most of it” he lied. Another lie. He was getting rather good at it now. If he could call his brother’s bluff then he could lie easily to other people.  
  
To his surprise, Dean patted him playfully on the arm. “Never mind Sammy, I’ll just have to train you up a bit better, and improve your poker face. Practice makes perfect.”.  
  
It was funny how ironic his brother’s words were. “Yeah, sounds good. I’m sorry I flew off the handle about my wallet” the younger sibling said. “But we’ve got to have some boundaries seeing as we‘re living in such close proximity”.  
  
“Fair enough. But, hey, whatever you’ve got hiding in that wallet, good for you! It’s nothing to be ashamed of. If it’s condoms or a card from a strip club, I’m proud of you” Dean said proudly as he slung his bag over his shoulder casually.  
  
Sam stood on the spot and stared at the handle of the door of their room. “I’m not ashamed. I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of Dean” he said as his hand brushed absent mindedly over his stomach.  
  
Dean smiled as he threw Sam’s duffel over at him. “Lighten up Sam, I was only joking. Grab your laptop, come on let’s get out of this hell hole” he said forcefully as he opened the door and headed outside to his beloved Impala.  
  
“Coming” Sam said as he picked up his laptop, and looked around the room one last time and followed his brother out of the door.


	9. Chapter 9

Whilst his older brother drove, Sam had time to reflect on his decision. He was overwhelmed with emotion. He was elated at the thought of having a baby. He wanted to tell his brother, he really did, but he had to find the right time to do so.  
  
But then he was scared. Scared that if he told his brother the truth about the baby he would run for the hills and just break his heart all over again and he wasn’t going to put himself in that position ever again.  
  
When the image of his baby on the screen came into his head he had to fight really hard to stop himself from crying. He focused on the horizon that was flashing past them in a blur. His hand brushed his jacket pocket, where he knew the scan picture was tucked away safely from prying eyes.   
  
“Sam?!” Dean said suddenly, rousing him from his thoughts.  
  
Sam cleared his throat and looked towards his brother, thankful for the distraction that was going to stop him from crying. “Yeah?” he answered back, surprised at how shaky his own voice sounded.  
  
“I’m starving” Dean complained as he looked back and forth from the road, to the bag of groceries on the back seat.  
  
“Keep your eyes on the road Dean” Sam snapped back. “And you can’t be that hungry, you only ate a couple of hours ago” he continued.  
  
The older sibling frowned in annoyance. “What is wrong with you these days? Seriously, it’s like you’re always looking for an argument! You seem to snap over the smallest of things and then you went nuts over your damn wallet!”.  
  
Sam remained quiet for a few moments. He closed his eyes and calmed himself down. When he felt his sour mood ebb away, he opened them again and spoke. “Sorry. I guess I’m just tired, you know. Do you wanna stop for something to eat?”.  
  
Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he figured that it was now reasonably safe to speak to his brother without having his head bitten off. “No, it’s fine. I got some snacks in the back seat. They’re in the brown paper bag”.  
  
“Sure” Sam said as he reached out to get the bag. Resting it on his legs he started to rifle through the contents. “What do you want me to get for you?”.  
  
Tapping his fingers on the wheel as he drove, Dean took a few moments to consider. “Let’s give the beef jerky a try, shall we?” he said as he held out his hand to receive it.  
  
Sam’s stomach turned over violently just at the mere thought of the dried beef snack. Holding his breath, he pulled it out of the bag and placed it in his brother’s waiting hand. “You going to eat that thing right now?” he asked cautiously.  
  
“Yep!” Dean said happily, as he tore open the packet with his teeth and took his first satisfied bite. “Mmm! Want a bite?” he asked as he waved it around in front of his younger sibling’s nose, unaware of the nauseating effect it was having on him.  
  
Holding his breath as best he could Sam shook his head. “Nope, I’m good, you eat it up” he said, “And quickly” he added under his breath as he rolled down the window and revelled in the few breaths of fresh air that entered his lungs.   
  
Dean carried on munching his way through the beef snack contently. “So do you reckon that this town is going to bring anything up?” he asked with his mouth full.  
  
“Stop the car Dean” Sam said quietly and calmly as his nausea grew in intensity.  
  
“To be honest, I’m not really convinced” Dean said, carrying on his train of thought as he continued to wave his snack in the air.  
  
Sam’s stomach jerked violently. “Dean! Please stop the car” he said a little louder and with more force.  
  
Dean turned to look at his younger brother. “We’re not that far from a rest stop” he said.  
  
“Stop the damn car Dean, before I throw up on the leather seats” Sam shouted as he slammed his hands on the glove compartment. He unfastened his seatbelt quickly as his brother slammed on the brakes. He threw himself out of the seat and threw up on the side of the road.  
  
“Jeez Sammy!” Dean said. “That was a close call” he said as he watched his brother compose himself and flop down on the ground underneath a tree. He slowly un-did his seatbelt and went over to Sam.  
  
Sam wiped his mouth with a tissue from his jacket pocket. He leant back against the tree, grateful for the support as he didn’t think he had enough strength to hold himself up. “Just need a minute Dean” he said weakly.   
  
Dean looked on at his brother who looked pretty awful right now. He kicked at a stone, causing dust to rise up. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were feeling sick again?”.  
  
Sam just shrugged his shoulders. He was too tired to think of an excuse to explain another bout of sickness. “I’m okay now. It just got a bit hot in the car, that’s all”.  
  
“O-kay” the older hunter said slowly. He walked over to the tree and sat down on a stray branch. “Sam…….I think I know what’s going on here. You’ve been sick for a few weeks now…..” he started.  
  
Sam suddenly became alert as panic ran through him. Surely his brother hadn’t figured out the truth? He was going to act innocent and see where that would get him. “No, I’m fine, honestly”.  
  
“I don’t think that you are” the older brother said solemnly. “You don’t have to hide it from me anymore. I want to help” he said.  
  
“What?” Sam replied shakily as his blood ran cold. “Hide what?” he asked, trying to keep his composure.  
  
Dean sighed and looked sadly at his brother. “I know what you’re doing to yourself. It’s all my fault, and I’m sorry” he said as his hand reached out to his younger brother. Before his hand could make contact with his sibling, he quickly pulled it back and put it back on his leg.  
  
“I- I don’t understand” Sam said, trying to take back more control of his own voice.  
  
“You’re ashamed of what I did. I know that you are. You haven’t been the same since I told you about my time in hell. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you, because I know that you’d see me differently. But you’ve got to stop making yourself ill over it” Dean said sadly. “Please Sammy. I’m not asking you to forgive me……..just…..please don’t hate me or punish yourself over it. Look at the mess you’re in. You’re always up early in the mornings so I know you’re not sleeping properly, or eating either and I’m really worried about you now. You’ve got your own issues I know, and I have no right to demand an answer from you. I just want you to know where I am if you want to talk. Just stop making yourself sick like this, please” he begged as his hand moved over to Sam once again. This time he didn’t pull it away, but placed it onto his younger sibling’s knee.  
  
Sam flinched at his brother’s touch on his knee. He closed his eyes for a second and allowed himself to take comfort in his brother’s touch. One of his hands wandered down to his stomach. “Dean……I’m not sick……I’m……” he started to say as he studied his older brother’s face. His brother’s words from a few weeks previously echoed in his head.  
  
 _“I need to try and get my life back on track. Make everything go back to normal”._  
  
 _Normality_. That’s all that Dean wants. He doesn‘t want his life to be messed up anymore. Having a baby with your own brother isn’t classed as normal.  
  
He decided that the time still wasn’t right for his brother to know about the baby. Sam exhaled slowly and rubbed his eyes. “I’m…..I’m not mad at you. I’m not even ashamed of you for what you did, so please don’t think that I am. I just feel guilty. I’m the reason that you’re going through this. You got sent to hell to save my life”.  
  
Dean inched closer to his younger brother. “And I would do it again in a heartbeat, you know that. Please stop with the guilt. You told me to stop punishing myself over it so take your own advice and do the same”.   
  
“Just leave it, please Dean” Sam said as he stood up quickly and brushed the dust from his jeans. His body betrayed him once again as a wave of dizziness assaulted him. He clung onto a stray branch of the tree as he waited for his surroundings to stop spinning around him.  
  
“Sam?” Dean asked as he stood up and made a move closer to his brother. That’s when he realised just how fragile, pale and thin his younger sibling looked right now.  
  
“I stood up too fast, that’s all. I’m fine. Let’s get back on the road” Sam said as he straightened himself up and started to take small, controlled strides back over to the Impala.  
  
The older brother followed closely. “No wonder you felt dizzy. Look how thin you are Sam. I’ve hardly seen you eat anything. To be honest, I’ve not seen you eat anything in weeks”.  
  
Sam hadn’t realised that his brother had been so observant. He sat back down in the passenger seat as his brother joined him in the driver’s seat. Opening up the glove compartment he pulled out some saltine crackers that he had bought earlier and put one in his mouth. “There, I’m eating something, happy now?” he asked as he put another one in his mouth. It didn’t matter anyway as his stomach would purge them later on. “I’m fine, I promise!”.  
  
Dean frowned. Although he wasn’t convinced of the fact that his younger sibling was okay, he forced himself to smile. “No more torturing yourself over this anymore. Everything will be just fine, because I’m going to look after you Sammy. I’m going to start being your brother again and not a selfish prick like I’ve been”.  
  
The older hunter’s words rung true in the younger hunter’s ears. Brother. He chewed thoughtfully as he finished chewing the crackers. “We’ll look after each other. We‘ll get each other through this” Sam said. He looked down at his stomach and directed his next words to his unborn child. “I’ll make a way for this to work”.  
  
“Sam?” Dean asked quietly as he looked longingly at his sibling. When his brother looked back up he continued. “We’re going to be okay, right?” he asked, as tears started to gather in his eyes.  
  
Sam’s eyes mirrored his brother’s as they started to glisten with salty tears. He nodded weakly and smiled. “Yeah Dean, we’re going to be okay”.  
  
Dean wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. “So Sammy..” he said as he nudged the younger hunter, breaking up their moment. “Which is it then, Metallica or AC/DC?” he asked eagerly.  
  
Sam smiled back at his brother. “Neither!” he joked.  
  
Dean clicked his tongue and slid in a cassette tape. “AC/DC it is. Good choice ‘lil bro”.  
  
As the first guitar chords and drum beats started up, Dean put his baby into gear and pulled away back onto the road. Sam allowed himself to relax as he put his worries to one side, enjoying his brother’s care-free mood and period of happiness. He laughed quietly to himself as Dean began to sing along and drum his fingers on the wheel to the rhythm. He now had a new focus in his life.  
  
His baby.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam popped a vitamin tablet in his mouth. He had gone to extreme lengths to cover his tracks just to enable that he could get the vital vitamins that his baby would need.   
  
He had bought some pre-natal vitamins and another bottle of cheap standard vitamins and swapped the labels around and disposed of the unnecessary bottle and label in the trash can outside the store.  
  
Over a week had passed since the brother’s latest heart to heart. A hunt had occupied them since then, which had left time for nothing else. Now that had finished they were going to allow themselves a few days respite before going in pursuit of another one.  
  
Dean came out of the bathroom, fresh from his shower and revitalised despite his sleep deprivation. He turned his nose up at the bottle of vitamins on the table. “Dude, since when have you been taking vitamins?” he questioned as he analysed the label on the bottle neck.  
  
Sam swallowed the tablet and shrugged his shoulders. “I’m on this new health kick. Besides, they‘re good for you”.  
  
“Well it’s obviously working. You look so much better. You’ve got colour in your cheeks again” Dean said as he studied his brother’s rosy glow. “You look good. Really good”.  
  
“Yeah. I feel so much better” Sam said happily. It was true, finally the nausea had subsided and he hadn’t been sick in days. His appetite was starting to return to normal again. He noticed that his older brother was dressed up in his best shirt. “You going out again?”.  
  
Dean pulled up the back of his collar and smoothed down the front corners. He paused and studied his younger sibling curiously. There was something different about him recently but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “Uh, yeah. I was gonna go check out that bar across the street” he said as he ran his hand over his collarbone. “Is that okay with you?”. For some reason, tonight he felt like he had to ask permission to go out.  
  
Sam put down his glass of water. He had decided that it wasn’t going to bother him as much now if Dean went all every night. It would be easier for him if they distanced themselves from each other. Besides, he didn’t need his brother anymore. He had something much more precious than that now. “Yeah, sure. You don’t need to ask my permission to go out, you never have before now”.  
  
“I know. But I’m trying to make amends with you here” Dean said. “I’m really trying”.   
  
“Dean. It’s fine. You go and enjoy yourself, okay?” the younger hunter said. He appreciated the effort his brother was going to. “I’ll see you when I see you”.  
  
The older sibling felt a pang of disappointment when his brother had given him permission so easily. He was hoping Sam would ask him to stay- if that had been the case he would have agreed straight away. “Yeah, I’ll see you later. Do you want me to get you anything while I’m out?” he asked.  
  
Shaking his head and crossing his arms, Sam yawned. “Nope, I’m good. I think I’m going to have early night. I’m exhausted. It’s been a long week”.  
  
Dean nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah it has. But you’re okay now, right?”.  
  
Sam smiled happily. “Yeah, I’m okay now” he admitted truthfully. He really was.  
  
“Good” the older hunter said after clearing his throat. He started to walk towards the door when his younger sibling called him. He paused and smiled, hoping that Sam had changed his mind. “Yeah?” he asked hopefully as he turned around.  
  
“You’re going to need these” Sam said as he dangled the keys to the motel room and threw them across the room.  
  
“Oh…..yeah” Dean said blushing and trying to hide his further disappointment as he caught the keys with his cupped hands. Once outside the door- the physical barrier that was separating them, the older hunter reached into his pocket and started to swig from his hip flask, relishing as the whiskey burned the back of his throat.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean had tried his best to limit his intake of alcohol tonight. Just like the other night, but that had failed too. The alcohol was like his comfort blanket right now, and he couldn’t just take it away abruptly, no matter how hard he tried, or wanted to.  
  
Standing outside the door of their motel room again, he fished around in his pocket for the keys which Sam had thoughtfully reminded him to take with him earlier. Once inside the room he shivered at how cold it was. He decided against turning the lights on as the room was already filled with the sickly orange glow of the street lights from outside. The ghastly moth-eaten net curtains did nothing to block it out.  
  
On his way over to his bed he paused at the bed that his brother was sleeping on. He was curled up on his side, still fully clothed. He must have fallen asleep on top of the bed covers. Dean thought that he looked cold and too exposed.  
  
He admired how peaceful and serene his younger brother looked when he slept. Care-free and with no worries. It was hard not to be jealous seeing as his nights of broken sleep were still plagued with memories of terror and acts of extreme violence.  
  
Reaching over to the blanket that was neatly folded on the bottom of the bed he shook it out and covered his sleeping brother with it, making sure that every bit of him was tucked up safely underneath the fleecy material. As he pulled it up over Sam’s chest his hand brushed up against his forehead. His first instinct was to pull it away quickly. But instead it lingered on the soft furrows of his brow.  
  
Even though Sam was still deep in sleep, his dream reacted to the touch and he moaned softly and his facial expressions softened signalling his comfort as he snuggled up into the warmth of the blanket.  
  
Dean couldn’t stop himself when his head bowed down and gently kissed the top of the young hunter’s head, inhaling the fruity smell of shampoo on his freshly washed hair. “Sweet dreams Sammy” he whispered quietly into the darkness before he flopped down onto the other bed and succumbed to the sedating effects of the whiskey.  
  
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A pillow went flying through the air and hit the older hunter squarely on the back of his head, rousing him from his sleep. He turned over and shielded his eyes from the morning sun that was streaming in through the window. “Ow! Nice wake-up call! You could have just called me instead!”.  
  
Sam laughed as his hand went into a box of dried cereal and put another handful in his mouth. Now that the nausea had gone from the mornings he found that not only did he want breakfast now, but needed it. “It’s no fun that way” he said amusedly. “You coming for breakfast or not, I’m starving!”.  
  
Despite the fact that the older brother was still half asleep he looked confused. “You want breakfast?” he said as he swung his legs over the bed. The sudden change of position made the room spin as he was suddenly reminded of his heavy drinking only hours previously. “Well that’s a turn out for the books! Maybe you’ll start putting on some weight again. You were starting to look kinda scrawny”.  
  
The young hunter tried to not choke on his cereal as the irony struck him. “It’s just breakfast Dean. No big deal. And I found us a hunt too. A demon killing spree, your favourite kind” he said.  
  
“Really? Awesome. I’ve been wanting to gank those sons-of-bitches for a while now” the older hunter said wearily. “When did you have time to sort that out for us?” he said as he stood up and staggered over to the sink for a glass of water.  
  
“This morning. I was up early. I slept really well last night” Sam said. When he woke up this morning he found that he was wrapped up in a blanket. He knew that it wasn’t there when he went to sleep so his brother must have been responsible for it. He didn’t say anything as he didn’t want to cause any embarrassment.  
  
The older hunter downed his glass of water in one go and slammed the glass down onto the table and looked up at his younger brother. “Good work Sammy” he said as he walked over and grabbed a handful of cereal from the box.  
  
“Hey!” the young hunter protested as he playfully tickled his brother. “Get your own!”.  
  
Dean smirked through his full mouth of cereal and poked Sam back under his arm where he knew that he would be ticklish. “Too slow!” he said as he broke away and dashed around the other side of the bed.  
  
Sam threw the box of cereal down and chased his brother around the bed until he finally caught up with him and managed to wrestle him to the floor and pin him down until he was lying on top of Dean, their faces a mere inch from each others. Being in this situation again spurred a memory in the minds of the two hunters.  
  
  
 _The older hunter could feel his sibling’s warm breath gently raining down on him as he gently held down his wrists. Dean knew that if he wanted to he could easily get out of the restraint.  
  
But he didn’t want to.  
  
Sam was so close to his brother’s plush lips, he could almost taste them. The rosy full lips that he longed to caress with his tongue. He should have pulled away.  
  
But he didn’t want to.  
  
After the initial kiss initiated by the younger sibling which had sparked something incredible in both of them- their lips met again and moulded into one, only parting to draw in vital breaths of oxygen which fuelled the intensity between them.  
  
_  
The brother’s smiled back at each other not knowing what to do next.   
  
I can’t let myself get hurt again. Sam thought to himself. He cleared his throat and rolled off his brother and stood himself up. “Are you ready to go Dean?” he asked as he pulled down the crumpled edges of his shirt, breaking the awkward silence in the room. He scanned the room for something to look at- but his eyes kept finding his brothers hazel globes.  
  
The older hunter remained on the floor for a few moments. He had been so close to Sam again and he cursed himself for not taking the opportunity to show his true feelings. He nodded blankly. “Yeah. Just give me a few minutes and we’ll head off then. Why don’t you pack everything in the trunk and I’ll meet you outside in 5” he said getting up from the floor slowly and heading into the bathroom in a semi-trance like state.  
  
Sam immediately began gathering up their belongings, grateful for the distraction. When his brother had disappeared behind the door he sat down tiredly onto one of the beds and put his head in his hands. He vowed to stay strong over this. His hand wandered down to his stomach protectively. “It’s for the best pip” he whispered mournfully.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam had brought his laptop with him into the diner. It was just in case he needed something to distract himself with again.  
  
“Coffee?” a bored sounding waitress asked as she stood at the end of their table holding a metal pot.  
  
“Please” Dean said as he held out his mug automatically, like a reflex action. The waitress was hot, for sure. But he wasn’t interested in her, not one bit. He ignored her gaze and looked down at his fork instead.  
  
“And for you sir?” she asked looking over at Sam.  
  
Sam was puzzled by his brother’s behaviour. Usually he would be flirting with the waitress by now, regardless of what she looked like. “No thank you. Can I get some orange juice, please?”.  
  
The waitress sighed heavily and nodded as she walked away silently.  
  
“Dean, everything okay? You don’t seem yourself this morning” the younger hunter asked, unable to remain quiet any longer.  
  
Dean made some sort of sound affirming that everything was fine. He reached for the bowl of sugar, deciding that he was going to need some today. “Well there goes her tip!” he said forcing himself to laugh. He cringed when he realised how fake that sounded.  
  
“So anyway” Sam started, trying to bring them back to some common ground so that could talk about. “This town is rife with demonic omens. Cattle slaughters, unusual weather patterns. I think it’s the best lead that we’ve got on this”.  
  
“Sounds good. Although I still think the best way forward is to summon the cross roads demon” Dean suggested.  
  
The young hunter reacted strongly to this as he slammed his hands down on the table. “Dammit Dean. You’re not going anywhere near that bitch again. I cannot spend another 4 months without you. Or worse, without you forever” he said sadly as the thought crossed his mind.  
  
The older hunter saw how upset his brother was. He realised that doing that would be selfish. He could probably handle going to hell again, but he couldn’t handle the thought of his younger brother pining for him like that again. He smiled. “It’s okay Sammy. I’m not going to do that. I’m never going to leave you again. I promise. You‘re never going to be alone like that again”.  
  
The waitress came back over and slammed two plates down in front of the brothers. “Two stacks of pancakes, and a glass of orange juice” she said slamming a glass down next to Sam’s plate before storming off to deal with another customer.  
  
Sam immediately picked up his fork and started to tuck in hungrily to his pancakes. “Mmm these are good. Can you pass over the maple syrup please?”.  
  
Dean obliged and passed the bottle to his younger brother. He watched him pour dollops of the sticky substance onto his plate. “Wow Sam, you’ve really got your appetite back, you‘re packing those away!”.  
  
The younger hunter chewed quickly and put another helping of pancakes in his mouth hastily. “Yeah, I guess I have” he said realising that fact himself.  
  
The older brother smiled as he watched his sibling tuck into the hearty breakfast. He didn’t look as pale and sickly as he had the week before. He looked healthy and happy.  
  
A little girl in the corner table started to cry, breaking up his train of thought. “Where’s my teddy mommy?!” she wailed.  
  
The mother started looking around frantically, rummaging around in the their belongings. “Okay sweetie, just give me a minute, I’ll find it” she said in a panic. “Where did you drop it?” she asked as she ducked under their table.  
  
The little girl carried on wailing and sniffing, mourning the loss of her beloved teddy bear. “He’s gone”.  
  
Sam turned his attention to the hysterical girl. His hormones started to react to her turmoil. Something inside of him was telling him that he needed to hug the little girl and reassure her that it was okay. “Dean…..we’ve got to find her teddy”.  
  
The older hunter put down his fork and wiped his chin with his hand to rid it of any pancake crumbs. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. “That teddy could be anywhere. It’s a lost cause. Besides, haven’t we got more important things to do than find a teddy?”.  
  
Sam’s eyes searched the immediate area around him. “It’s important to that little girl. We’ve got to try, please?” he said remorsefully.  
  
The younger hunter’s voice sounded so weak and desperate, that Dean had no choice but to give in. “Okay. I’ll have a quick look outside, that‘s all we can do” he said as he stood up and headed outside.  
  
The pregnant brother was surprised by the these new feelings-maternal instincts that he felt. He had always liked children, but how he was feeling right now, that was new, this overwhelming feeling.  
  
The door to the diner swung open and the familiar form of the blond hunter entered. In his hand was a plush teddy, flecked with spots of dirt. Sam watched in awe as his brother strode across the diner to confront the distressed child. “Here you go sweetheart” he said softly as he bent down onto his knees and handed over the prized possession.  
  
The little girl immediately ceased her sobbing and took the teddy from him as she studied him inquisitively. Her hand reached out to him before she quickly pulled it back. The mother sighed in relief at the kind gesture from the stranger. “Thank you so much. That’s the only thing that gets her to sleep in the night. Where did you find it?”.  
  
Dean blushed at being commended. “That’s okay. I found him lying on the side of the road just outside”. He turned his attention to the girl who was hugging her bear tightly with both hands. “What’s his name?”.  
  
The girl looked up apprehensively at her mother. “It’s okay. Tell the man what you’ve called him”.  
  
After some thought, her big blue eyes looked up at Dean. “Mr Cuddles” she said shyly.  
  
“Mr Cuddles? I like it” Dean said, smiling as he played with the teddy’s arms.  
  
Sam smiled at his brother’s interaction with the child. He wondered whether Dean would be the same with their baby. His heart swelled with pride when he saw how happy he had made that child. How he was on his knees, talking at her level.  
  
The older brother stood back up. “You make sure that you keep a tight hold on Mr Cuddles, okay? Never let him go again”.  
  
The little girl answered with a nod, indicating that she had understood. She hugged the teddy tight with both hands, pulling him into her chest in a loving embrace.  
  
“Thank you” the mother said again, gratefully.  
  
“No problem” the older hunter said waving as he walked back over to his table and sat down.  
  
“Dean” Sam began. “Thank you. You made that little girl so happy. You were really good with her. Such a natural” he said solemnly. A part of him was telling him just to tell his brother about the baby right now. It seemed like the right time.  
  
Dean blushed. “I helped raise you, right? And it seemed to matter so much to you. If that’s all it takes to help a little girl then…..” he started, unable to finish. His facial expressions softened and turned into sadness.  
  
The younger hunter’s face changed to mirror his brother’s. “What? What’s wrong?” he asked as his hand inched closer.  
  
The older brother smiled sadly. “Losing her teddy. To her that was the scariest thing that had happened to her. She doesn’t know about half the things that are out there, all those demons and monsters. She’s got a normal life. I wish I could have protected you from all of that”.  
  
Exhaling heavily, the younger sibling plucked up the courage. “Dean. It’s okay”.  
  
“No Sammy” Dean said shaking his head. “It’s not okay. You were so young. Losing your favourite toy should have been the worst that happened to you. Being raised in a family of hunters….no child should be raised in that way, knowing and fearing all the horror that’s around us. You were so young and I should have looked after you, you were my responsibility and I failed, I messed up. I’m sorry. If and when I have children of my own, I’m going to vow to look after them properly and not bring them up like we were. I want them to have a normal life, with nothing to fear”.   
  
Sam felt a stab of pain and guilt. But even so, he pressed on. “It’s okay, I forgive you. But you can change that, when you have children. Just because our lives are screwed up, doesn’t mean you can’t start afresh and raise your children properly. Give them a proper stable home and get a regular job”.  
  
The older hunter sighed sweetly at his brother’s naivety. “If only it would be that easy. But we can’t change who we are. We’re hunters. That’s all we know and that’s what we’re going to be for the rest of our lives. It would be unfair to involve a child in all of that”.  
  
Another reality check hit the pregnant brother. As much as he tried to ignore the facts, his brother was right. It was unfair to raise a child how they were raised. He didn’t want that for his baby. Dean didn’t want that for his child. “Yeah, you’re right. That’s never going to happen. I promise” he said aloud, for both his brother and their baby. He pushed his nearly empty plate of pancakes away from him. His appetite had suddenly disappeared and was replaced by anxiety and nausea. “It’s a dangerous world out there”. He knew that he needed to make a new life for him and his unborn child- but he wasn’t ready to leave his brother just yet.  
  
Apparently the moment was over for the older brother as he resumed eating his breakfast and tapped his fingers on the table. “This demon fest. Do you think we have enough rock salt?”.  
  
Sam was brought back down to earth. “Rock salt?” he asked blankly, his mind still wandering around in the clouds.  
  
“Yeah” Dean said matter-of-factly. “To make rock salt bullets? To put a dent in those sons-of-bitches? Keep them distracted whilst you mutter your hocus pocus crap and send them back to hell?”.  
  
“Yeah yeah, I got it. Let’s go then” the younger hunter responded by pushing his plate further away from him and getting up from his seat. He put his laptop into his duffel.  
  
The older brother pulled out some money from the inside pocket of his jacket and hastily followed his brother. He pointed to the half-empty plate. “Woah, what’s the hurry? Aren’t you going to finish those? Thought you were hungry?”.  
  
Sam paused just before he was about to open the door to the diner. “I’ve lost my appetite” he said anxiously.  
  
Dean gave his brother a nudge by the doorway. “Come on then if we’re going”.  
  
The pregnant hunter turned around to look at the little girl who was still clutching her teddy bear happily, obviously keen to follow Dean’s advice. He smiled as the mother kissed her daughter. Taking another last glimpse of the perfect scene, he pushed the door open and left the diner, closely followed by his brother.  
  
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The car journey was filled with silence as the Impala tore down the open country road, her driver carefully manoeuvring her around the corners safely and with expertise. The older hunter gripped the leather of the wheel and tuned into her gentle purr- the purr that he worked so hard to maintain.   
  
This car meant the world to him. He relished in the leathery feel of the wheel and his mind wandered to the first time his fingers made contact with it.  
  
  
 _John Winchester stood next to his pride and joy as he ran a cloth over the silky black bodywork of his Chevy ‘67 and admiring the way the rays of the Kansas sun glinted off it. He smiled when he saw his eldest son come running over to him. He scooped him up with both arms and set him down on the hood of the car. “Hey champ? What’s up?” he asked softly. His smile showed off the subtle dimples on his chin._  
  
The boy bounced up and down, barely able to contain his excitement. “I want to go behind the wheel papa!” he said excitedly. “Just like you do”.  
  
The eldest member of the Winchester family brushed his hand through his greying hair shyly and sighed contently. “Come on then” he said scooping his son up in his strong arms again. He opened the driving seat door and sat Dean down on the driver’s seat.  
  
The excited child’s green eyes immediately lit up. He moved to the edge of the seat and stretched out his short chubby arms until the tips of his fingers were just about able to close around the leathery cover of the wheel. He started to move the wheel, steering it from left to right, making car noises as he went until he stopped suddenly and looked up at his father worriedly.  
  
John Winchester bent down and laid a hand on his son’s leg. “What’s up champ?” he asked.  
  
The oldest sibling started to kick his legs up in the air, willing them to stretch down to the pedals. “I can’t reach the pedal’s papa. I’m too small” he said sadly, and pouting.  
  
“That can be easily solved kiddo” his father said kindly as he realised his son’s predicament. He lifted the young Winchester up and sat down on the seat and put him down to stand on the floor by the pedals.  
  
Dean’s excitement returned when his feet could press gently on the pedals and his arms could stretch up to control the wheel. He started to make car noises again and moved the wheel back and forth rather violently until his father took hold of his hands and told him to stop for a moment.  
  
“Let me show you how to do this properly, shall I champ?” John said to his son.  
  
The young Winchester craned his neck up to look at his father and his green eyes shone back at him, absorbing his father and ready to take in any advice he was about to be given. He nodded enthusiastically.  
  
“So you do it like this” John Winchester said to his eldest son as he took his hands into his and placed them on the wheel. He guided their hands slowly and carefully to the right and then to the left. “She needs to be treated really gently, with small carefully guided movements, see? Just like this” he continued until he removed his hands from the wheel and watched his son take over the movements by himself.   
  
“Like this papa?” the little boy asked as he turned to his father for reassurance and encouragement.  
  
John Winchester looked on at his son proudly. “Just like that champ” he said as he lowered his hand and ruffled the short blond scrubby hair.  
  
“Papa! Papa! I want a go!” the youngest Winchester son shouted as he ran across the yard to greet his father and older brother.  
  
“Hey, Sammy” the father said as he jumped out of the driver’s seat to greet his youngest son.  
  
When the youngest Winchester was picked up by his father, his arms went around his neck and hugged him tightly, feeling safe in his arms. As long as him and his brother were around, everything would be fine. He then fidgeted around in his father’s arms, signalling that he wanted to be put down. As soon as he was free from his arms he ran into the Impala and joined his older brother by the steering wheel. His hands held onto the wheel and he started to turn it frantically, just like his brother had done only minutes ago.  
  
Dean looked at his younger brother and shook his head. “No Sammy. It won’t work like that. Let me show you how to do it properly” he said taking the wheel.  
  
Sam’s eyes were transfixed onto his older brother with the same admiration that his brother had given their father. He watched the smooth fluid movements of the wheel as his brother moved it.  
  
“Now you try” Dean said as he prompted his younger brother to copy his actions.  
  
When the oldest Winchester son was happy that his brother was correct in what he was doing, he shouted happily to his father. “Papa! Look, I taught Sammy how to do it properly” he shouted as he bounced up and down.  
  
John Winchester knelt down by the side of the open car door. He smiled at his sons. “That’s excellent you two. I know that you’re going to look after my baby when you’re old enough to drive”. He watched with pride at the interaction between his two sons.  
  
He sighed contently. This wasn’t the life he wanted for his children. But he had no choice. But that’s when he realised something. Little Dean Winchester was destined for great things. And if he followed his brother’s suit, so was Sam.  
  
  
Dean smiled at the memory. He missed his father so much. He had given him the knowledge and basis of everything that he knew now. From tying his shoe laces, to changing a tyre, to hunting and killing anything and everything.   
  
At first he felt so proud when his brother took an interest in the things that their father had taught him. But then he realised deep down that his brother’s heart was never really into hunting and that he wanted a normal apple-pie life. He should have discouraged him from the start and should have shielded him from this life.  
  
But it was too late now, they were too far down the road to stop.


	11. Chapter 11

Continuing their journey down the open highway, the younger hunter shifted in his seat and let out a small moan as he woke from a light slumber. The older sibling had almost forgotten his brother was in the car with him. How could he forget Sam? The person that he wanted to take in his arms, to kiss, to hug, and to be with him properly. The little boy that had grown up looking up to him and following his example. He shivered and scolded himself for thinking about his brother in that way again.   
  
“Dean?” Sam asked weakly, his voice all husky from being half asleep.  
  
Dean felt his heart pound in his chest as the young hunter called out his name. He looked over and smiled, taking note of the messed up hair and sleepy eyes. He didn’t care, he looked gorgeous. “Yeah?” he asked as he tried to control the excitement and arousal in his voice.  
  
Sam opened his eyes fully and they focused on his older brother. This was the way he wanted it- to see his brother beside him every time he opened his eyes. Except that they were divided by not only the gear shifter, but an invisible forbidden barrier of wrongness. “Where are we?” he asked, scanning the scenery for any clues.  
  
“Not far from Lousiana. Why do you need to stop?” the older hunter asked considerately. “We’ve made good time, so we can stop if you want!” he urged. He had taken note that recently his brother always had a bottle of water with him to keep hydrated.  
  
“No it’s okay. I just wanted to know where we were that’s all” he said sitting up properly and bringing the back of the seat up. In the silence he could hear his brother’s rapid pulse. He un-capped the top off his bottle of water and took a few slow sips. This helped keep his pregnancy induced headaches at bay. He closed his eyes for a second and imagined that his head was pressed up against his brother’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, reassuring him of his presence.   
  
“Now that you’re awake, do you mind if I put on the radio?” Dean asked, careful to gain Sam’s permission before doing something as simple as flicking on a switch.  
  
“Sure” the young hunter replied as he was immersed in his thoughts again.  
  
Dean turned on the radio. The first channel played out one of Beethoven’s symphonies. He wrinkled up his nose and skipped the next channel which was playing out a lengthy, heavily accented vibrato on the end of an opera song. His finger turned the dial again until it landed on the classic rock station that he loved so much. He turned to look at brother, ready for him to protest against that. His finger was about to change to channel but Sam put out his hand and stopped him from doing so.  
  
“Wait. Leave this on” Sam said abruptly. The other brother’s face looked on in disbelief.  
  
“Okay…..wow…..we’ve actually agreed on a channel.” Dean said enthusiastically as his finger turned the volume dial up. “You do know that it’s Journey, right?”.  
  
The first words that Sam had heard when the radio tuned into, had captured his attention and enticed him to hear more. “They’re not so bad…” he muttered as he tried to listen to the song. The words that were sung out summarised his inner-most thoughts.  
  
 _“Highway run into the midnight sun, wheels go round and round, you're on my mind”.  
_  
To him this implied not only that he was driving down the highway with his brother but that the wheels in his mind were turning too, thinking things through, making decisions, churning out mixed emotions, deciding his future-mapping out his life.  
  
The youngest hunter then frowned sadly at the next set of lyrics that blasted out through the speaker.   
  
_“They say that the road ain’t no place to start a family”._  
  
Sam realised the irony in that. This was the way that they lived and had been raised to live like. This made him even more determined to want a better life for his baby. Dean’s baby. An early memory stirred in his mind. He didn’t resent their father for the upbringing they had. He had no choice in the matter.   
  
But he had a choice now.  
  
  
 _Their father had been gone for nearly a week now. No phone call to say that he was safe or any word of when he would be coming home.  
  
The youngest Winchester laughed at the word ‘home’. That was a loose term to describe their state of accommodation and living. This was the third motel in a month. As money was very tight, their budget only stretched to the cheapest, shabbiest room in the area. When they weren’t cooped up in motel rooms, they were in the car, travelling frantically and hurriedly around the country, being dragged from pillar to post-their father desperate for any leads, no matter how small or insignificant that could lead to the location of the demon that had claimed their mother’s life.  
  
He just wanted to go to school like all of the other children he had known and met briefly along their travels. The only companion he had was his brother. His older brother. When he couldn’t sleep at night, and was scared and worried about where his father was, Dean would hold him close and read him a story, or reassure him until he fell asleep.   
  
Although Dean had tried to protect his brother from the evil and horror out in the big bad world, there was some things that he knew about- and wished that he didn’t. One night he became even more worried that their father hadn’t returned from another ‘hunt’ and he could pick up on his brother’s nervous energy that something wasn’t right.  
  
When the door to their motel room flew open one night, the older brother grabbed the gun from under his pillow like his father had told him and he stood in defence of his younger sibling until something emerged from the shadows.  
  
To Sam, it was worse than any demon or ghost. He watched as his father entered the room, torn up and bloody. Badly wounded. He limped across the room and flopped down onto one of the beds. The frightened young boy gasped and began to sob as he watched the blood drip down from his father’s gaping wound, the putrid smell of blood catching in the back of his throat.  
  
“It’s okay Sammy. I’m okay. I‘m going to be okay. Dean, go and put your brother to bed and then go and get me the medical kit, okay?” the wounded Winchester gasped out through the pain.  
  
Dean did as he was told and put his arm around his sibling. “Close your eyes Sammy ,don’t look. Go on, go to bed. I promise once I’ve fixed dad up, I’ll come and keep you company” he said courageously.  
  
The younger brother obliged reluctantly and went off to one of the empty beds. He closed his eyes but he could hear his father’s pained groans as he tried to stitch up the wound with a needle, some cotton and some whiskey to try and sterilise the area. He looked up to the heavens and prayed to God that no more harm would come to his father and that they could lead a normal and care-free life.  
  
_  
The young hunter shivered at the memory of seeing his father injured like that. But that was the first of many. He was only little back then, but no child should have to see their father like that, so helpless, and badly injured from hunting. On that particular occasion it had been a werewolf attack he had found out when he pretended to be asleep.   
  
He didn’t want his child to have to see him or Dean like that. Scarring them for life, haunting them and thinking that they would see one of their parents dying in front of them. He focused back onto the song again. It was drawing him in hypnotically as his hormones raged inside of him. The relevance was so clear and uncanny he wanted to laugh.  
  
Unbeknown to each other, the brothers turned away shyly as the song continued on, both unable to look into each other’s eyes. Neither noticed each other‘s sullen expressions.   
  
_“Right down the line it's been you and me”._  
  
They both felt sorrow as they realised that since their father had died, they only had each other. And, if truth be told, that’s all they needed was each other.  
  
The song continued on as the slow rock ballad continued it‘s powerful connotation.  
  
 _“I’m forever yours……faithfully……”._  
  
Dean turned to his brother to find him looking away, towards the window serenely. He takes the opportunity to drink up the sight of him without being caught out. His could feel his skin prickle with the heat and the passion of the secret moment.  
  
Sam then glanced over at his brother who was now looking in the opposite direction. He smiled sadly and turned back to look out of the window again. Forever. How long would forever be? In their line of work, forever didn’t mean that long. He could feel his eyes suddenly glass over with tears.  
  
“Dean. I need to stop….please” Sam begs quietly as the song ends with the words still echoing in his head.  
  
This rouses the older hunter’s attention and he almost sighs with relief as he carefully pulls the Impala over to the side of the road. The growing need to vent off steam had been building up and had now reached it’s inevitable crescendo.  
  
The younger brother slowly opened up the door and stepped outside into the fresh air, exhaling as much of it as he could to try and clear his mind of the conflicting emotions.  
  
After watching his brother step out of the car taking his time, the older sibling threw his door open forcefully and slammed it shut. His feet scraped back and forth on the gravel until he kicked at a stone in frustration and watched as it flew through the air and landed on the other side of the road. He blew out a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding. He looked over at his brother who was looking upwards at the sky. He was sure that his brother had felt the attraction, the closeness in the car too. Even if it was just for a fraction of a second- he needed that to cling onto, believe that his brother had felt the same way.  
  
Sam was stood still, rooted to the ground, looking up at the sky, studying the shapes of the fluffy white clouds, trying to make sense of them, just like he was trying to make sense of everything right now.  
  
“Sammy?” the older hunter asked quietly as he edged forward to his brother who still had a concentrated look on his face. “Everything okay?”.  
  
The younger sibling smiled and looked down at his brother. “Look at that cloud there Dean. Don’t you think it looks like a swan? And see the one just to the left of it? That one looks like a butterfly” he said pointing upwards.  
  
Dean looked up at where his brother was pointing. He couldn’t see what he had but decided to agree with him either way. “Yeah, I see them Sammy” he said solemnly and calmly. His frustration had ebbed away with the stone he had kicked that had flown through the air. His sibling looked so peaceful grazing up at the clouds and he didn’t want to impose too much. “Just let me know when you’re ready. I’m just going to stretch my legs a bit”.  
  
“Wait!” Sam said suddenly as his head snapped back to look at his brother inquisitively. “It’s just something you said in the diner earlier. Do you have any regrets?” he questioned.  
  
The other hunter cleared his throat and shuffled his feet outwards to widen his stance. His hands wandered into the deep pockets of his khaki jacket. He looked confused. “Regrets about what Sammy?” he asked cautiously.  
  
“About how dad raised us. Do you disapprove of the way we were brought up. Do you have regrets about our upbringing, you know, wish that we had had normal childhoods and lived in a house with a white picket fence?” the younger brother asked as he anxiously waited for an answer.  
  
Opening his mouth and closing it again, not really sure what to say, the eldest hunter was taken back by the randomness of the question. “Where did you suddenly get this from? I…..I don’t know what to say really…..”.  
  
“Please just answer the question. I want to know. I need to know” Sam pleaded as his eyes began to glaze over again. These damn hormones were beginning to become rather inconsiderate, deciding to creep up on him when he was most vulnerable.  
  
“Well…..” Dean began as he removed his hands from his pockets and tried to find a comfortable position for them, putting them in various positions. “Maybe a little part of me does…I don’t know. But I know that deep down in my heart, dad would never have raised us like this if he didn’t have a choice. He might not have been there for all our birthday’s, or taken us to baseball matches and to the movies like regular dads. But he never knowingly put us in danger and always tried to make our lives as normal as he could with the little that we had. He tried his damndest to shield us from as much danger and hurt as possible”.  
  
“But if we just walked away from all of this now, decide that it’s not our problem anymore and just walk away, then we can make amends and start new lives” the naïve younger hunter stated matter-of-factly.  
  
Dean smiled sadly at his sibling’s naivety. “Sam…..we can never just walk away from this. It’s too late for us, we’re too involved, we know too much. We’re always going to know what’s out there and there’s always going to be people who need us. Some days walking away is exactly what I want to do, but I can’t. And I promised dad that I’d look after you. That’s exactly what I’m going to do”.  
  
“No Dean, look where that got you! You ended up in hell because you were trying to protect me. I’m scared of losing you again and getting hurt. This whole thing is a dangerous gig, always living on the edge, living in secret fear!” the young hunter shouted out, having no control over the volume or intensity of his words.  
  
The older hunter remained calm and collected. He ran one of his hands nervously through his hair and down the back of his neck, feeling the raised goosebumps that were rapidly forming. “I thought we had been through this, why bring it all up again?”.  
  
Sam’s outburst had drained his energy. He looked down at his feet before looking back up again. “Because things have changed now. They have been put into perspective” he said tiredly.  
  
Dean wanted to search for the right words to say so he took a moment to look up at the clouds which were swirling around, changing into different shapes. “I know what we do is dangerous and downright scary. But I promise you that I’m not going anywhere again. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Not whilst I’ve still got breath left in my lungs and blood running through my veins. You’ve got to trust me Sammy. Please. I get scared too, you know?” he said tapering off the end of his sentence.  
  
The last statement caused something to stir up inside the taller hunter. “You get scared too?”. He couldn’t believe that the man he looked up to admitted such a thing. He always appeared to be the courageous and unflappable one.  
  
Dean’s only reply was a subtle single nod to his head as he blinked slowly and remorsefully.  
  
The younger sibling launched himself over to his brother and nestled his head on his chest before he knew what he was doing. He closed his eyes and listened to his brother’s breathing and the rhythmic beating of his heart, which backed up his promise. He wrapped his arms around the back of his shoulders and let a few tears fall from his eyes. “I trust you Dean. You’re my big brother, how could I not? And I‘m going to do everything I can to look after you too”.  
  
Wrapping his arms around his younger brother, the blond hunter let his head rest on Sam’s and inhaled his scent. “I know you will. Please don’t be scared anymore. Whilst we’re watching each other’s backs, nothing bad is going to happen. We’re Winchester’s right?”.  
  
Sam lifted his head up and wiped the remnants of his tears away. Looking into the depths of his brother’s intense green eyes he felt a new lease of life and confidence. He nodded, weakly at first, then more definite. “Yeah, we’re Winchester’s. Let’s go and put the fear of hell into those demons” he laughed back.  
  
Taking one more moment to relish with delight at the closeness he shared with his brother, Dean pulled Sam into one more hug, trying to draw it out for as long as he possibly could until they finally broke away. “Yeah, let’s rough them up, Winchester style, hey Sammy?” he said as he started his stroll back to the car. “Demon orgy gang bang, my favourite, wooo!”.  
  
The younger sibling laughed at his brother’s enthusiasm. He remained where he was for a few seconds. He could still feel his brother’s arms around him even though they weren’t. He had looked up to his brother all his life and he wasn’t going to stop now. His brother may have thought that, but he had never once let him down and he had no reason to now. “Yeah, let’s rock” he said with genuine enthusiasm as he followed his brother back to the car.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
After another tense and emotional moment, the brother’s continued the rest of their journey with light hearted banter and conversation until the blond hunter pulled the car up outside a deserted warehouse.  
  
Sam looked around outside anxiously as he opened the car door. “Are you sure that this is the right place? It just looks like an empty warehouse to me”.  
  
Studying the rusting steel exterior, the older hunter frowned briefly but then stepped confidently out of the car. “I’m sure. All the signs have pointed to here. The worst that can happen is that we’re wrong and this place is empty” he said. He laughed when he realised what he had said. “I can’t believe that we think that the best scenario is that this place is going to be teaming with black eyed scanks. You sure that you’re ready?” he asked as he looked toward the other hunter.  
  
Sam opened up the trunk and started to share out the provisions of guns and rock salt bullets between them. “Yeah. Like you said, we’ve got each other’s backs. Like we always do” he re-iterated.  
  
“That’s my boy” Dean said playfully punching him on the arm as he mounted the guns on a holster, which was strapped around his shoulder. He carefully slid the knife into his inner jacket pocket, ready to pull it out quickly if needed.  
  
After padding into the warehouse and taking out two demons with the knife who stood guarding the entrance, they continued deeper into the depths of the unknown territory until they reached the main open space. The two eager hunters looked at each other and signalled that they should split and go in opposite directions but to remain extra vigilant and on-guard.  
  
The older hunter had spotted them first. Two demons deep in conversation with one another. Deciding to go for it, Dean crept up behind one of them, slitting his throat with the knife and taking him out instantly. The other demon reacted by twisting the knife out of his hand and throwing it to the other side of the room, before he succumbed to the same fate. He then turned on the hunter and pinned him down to the floor.  
  
Remaining hidden in the shadows, the younger hunter took swift action and aimed his gun at the demon. He knew that it wouldn’t do much good, but he only needed to distract the demon for a second. The gun recoiled slightly as he fired the bullet, confident that it wasn’t going anywhere near his brother.   
  
The bullet hit the back of the demon’s head which stunned him for a few moments giving the blond hunter time to wriggle out of his constraint.  
  
Snarling, the demon’s coal black eyes glared back at the hunter’s. “That smited a little” he said rubbing his head where the bullet had made contact.  
Dean was on the ball and had quickly laid down a salt circle, trapping the demon inside. “Do you want to deal with this joker, whilst I carry on the search. I’ve got the knife” he said picking it up and wiping off the blood from the blade using his jacket.  
  
Sam smiled. “Yeah, I’ve got it. Just be careful” he warned. As his brother left the area the demon emitted a full bellied sinister laugh.  
  
“What’s so funny jackass?” the younger hunter responded threateningly as he walked around the edge of the salt circle.  
  
The demon snarled again. “Winchesters. I can smell you a mile off. Go on, make my day. Send me back, I don’t care. Because us demons stick together too. You piss one of us off, you’ll have a whole lot more on your tail”.  
  
“Bring it on….” Sam said assertively. He began the first words of the exorcism that had been planted in the front of his memory, the latin words he knew fluently and easily. A skill that his brother had yet to perfect. “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii…….”.  
  
Crossing his arms across his chest, the demon looked on amusedly. Although his eyes had started to turn in his head in response to the words that would cause him so much pain in a few seconds, he remained nonchalant and calm. “We’re not going to quit you know?” he said simply. “Not until we send your precious brother back where he belongs. We’ll drag him back kicking and screaming if we have to. And when he gets back, I‘ll be there waiting. I had the pleasure of torturing him the first time”.  
  
The hunter cut his words off as he felt the anxiety return. “You son-of-a-bitch” he said, feeling the anger rise up. “But I’d like to see you try”.  
  
The demon closed his eyes and focused on something else in the room. He sensed another presence. “Where will that leave you…..and your baby? He doesn’t know about it yet does he, your brother?”. He was going to be gone in less than a minute but it didn’t mean that he couldn’t have a little fun and toy with his capturer. On seeing the young man’s shock he laughed bitterly. “Oh yes, I know about the baby. Tut tut. Fancy keeping it from Dean. He’s more than a brother to you, I can sense that”.  
  
Sam was shocked that the demon knew these things but he had to ignore him and get on with the rest of the exorcism. He wasn’t going to let him mess with his head. “Omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, drago maledicte et omnis legio diabolica…….feeling a little dizzy yet?” he asked coldly. “This is only the tip of the iceburg, what you did to my brother. Soon it’ll feel like the fires of hell are burning through each and every particle of your being”.  
  
As if on cue, the demon yelled and clamped his hands on either side of his head, screaming out once again as the words took effect. He fought hard to resist and managed to control himself again. “I can handle it. Knowing that Dean will be back under my control again. You’ll be all alone then Sam. No one to protect you, once your brother is out of the equation again. You’ll be vulnerable, you and your child. And that’s when we will get you, when you’re weak”.  
  
“Shut up” the hunter said. He had to continue. But a part of him was intrigued by the demon’s words. How could he know all of this. It was like he was reciting his innermost thoughts. Touching painfully on his achilles heel. “Adjuramus te, cessa decipere humanas creaturas….”.  
  
The demon’s eyes rolled around in his head again, spinning faster. He screamed out again, but seemed to take delight in the fact that he was making the young hunter uneasy.   
  
Dean ran back through the door covered in fresh blood from slaying another demon. He was met by an anxious and worried brother who was stood on the spot, looking blankly at the demon. He looked scared. “Sammy? Come on, wrap this up. Send this clown packing back to where he belongs!”.  
  
Narrowing his eyes, the demon looked down at the younger hunter. “Yeah, what are you waiting for. Do it quickly before I tell your little secret to your brother. Who knows what I might blab….”.  
  
“Eisque aeternae perditionis venenum propinare” Sam stuttered through the next sentence, losing his nerve exponentially as the threats kept on coming. He hesitated.  
  
“But you’re not without your secrets either are you Dean?” the demon said weakly as he spun around on his heels, whilst trying to block out the pain and pressure which was rising up from the bottom of his hosts’ body.  
  
This added fuel to the older hunter’s fire and he stepped forwards with the knife ready to make the fatal incision on his throat. He knew that the demon was being truthful when he said he knew his secrets. He didn’t want Sam to know how he really felt. Not under these circumstances. “Shut it” he threatened as the knife made contact with the target’s fleshy area of his neck.  
  
“Go on. This way it will be quick and easy for me” the demon purred back. He was halfway back to hell, yet he could still instill fear into the two hunters.  
  
Dean pushed the knife down into his skin but then released it again. “No” he said pulling it away. “We’re going to do this the not-so-nice way. Slow and painful” he smirked. “Make sure you say it nice and slow Sam, don’t skip on the syllables” he said as he paced around.  
  
The demon’s threats about his brother and his unborn child rang through Sam’s mind, the words still fresh and clear as a bell. He couldn’t shake that feeling of unease. “Ut ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire…….”.  
  
The sound of the demon screaming out again cut through the vicinity and echoed up into the high steel ceiling of the warehouse. It was a struggle but he still managed to make one last threat. “Remember our little conversation. You had better keep running and looking over your shoulder”.  
  
Instead of un-nerving him further, this spurred the young hunter on. This demon and other’s like him had been responsible for all the trauma, horror and pain his brother had endured for all those months, or years as it felt to him. Suddenly, he is intent on revenge, driven just like his father was by the passion of love. A love that ran through his veins, a flow that could never be interrupted or disturbed. “Te rogamus……” he said starting up again. His voice had found volume and force from somewhere which enabled him to shout out the two last vital words. “Audi nos!”.  
  
The two hunters watched as the demon’s eyes whirred around in it’s hosts skull, listened to it’s terrifying screams until the smoke pushed out from the body, spiralling up to the ceiling, before dissipating into oblivion. The black eyes turned to brown and the host slumped down to the floor like an abandoned rag doll.  
  
Sam fell down to his knees and shook with anger and relief. It was then the sick twisted reality hit him hard. He couldn’t leave his brother just yet. He had to make sure that he was safe first. It was only fair since his brother had looked out for him all his life- it was about time he returned the favour.  
He crawled over to the limp lifeless body in front of him and tried to feel for a pulse. He let out a small strangled cry when he could feel nothing pulsating under his fingers. Slumping back against the wall he hugged his knees.  
  
“We can’t save everybody Sam” the older hunter said wisely. “I don’t know what the demon said to you, but you can’t let it get to you. That’s exactly what they want. He’s gone now”.  
  
“He may be gone. But there’s countless of others out there. And they don’t look too kindly on hunters” Sam replied glumly. “He knew things. Really deep down personal things. He said that they’d come looking for us and that they’d take you back to hell”. He was glad that his brother hadn’t asked for more information about the secret’s that the demon said he was hiding. Something inside of the young hunter jolted again. The demon also said that Dean was carrying secrets of his own, and seeing as he was correct about him, he must be correct about his brother. He was curious but knew that it was dangerous territory to probe through that.  
  
Dean swallowed down the bile that was threatening to make an unsightly appearance as he thought about going back to hell and enduring the daily tortures again. “It’s just empty threats. I told you, I’m not going anywhere. And besides, you’ve got my back. I’m safe”.  
  
The exhausted younger brother mustered up the last of his energy reserves and stood up from the floor. He dusted off his jeans and smiled sadly. “Yeah, I’ve got your back”.  
  
He knew that the best thing for his unborn child was to look out for Dean first. He was the one that needed him the most right now. His priorities had shifted again. Once his brother was safe, he could then concentrate on their baby.


	12. Chapter 12

A couple of weeks had passed for the young hunters and was fairly uneventful. Their trail had gone cold again and they were just waiting around for any further leads on a new investigation.  
  
Sam had suggested that they go to the nearest library and do some research, to brush up on their skills and knowledge. After protesting and rolling his eyes, the elder brother had agreed to accompany his sibling.  
  
“So, this is what a library looks like then?” Dean asked as he walked through the doors. “Where the hell do we start? This is friggin’ insane” he said loudly.  
  
His brother hushed him up and grabbed his arm. “Dean! Keep your voice down and try to act like you belong here, okay?”.  
  
The older brother quietened his voice slightly. He rubbed his hands together. “So, where’s the porn kept?” he asked as his head turned to look in all directions.  
  
“This is a library. You won’t find any here. Now lets go and start with the newspapers for local news and then maybe anthropology and philosophy books for extra curriculum study” the taller man replied.  
  
Dean looked dumbfounded. “So, seriously, there’s no porn? What kind of library doesn’t keep porn? And what the hell is philosophy and anthro…..anthro….man I can’t even say it!”.  
  
“Anthropology” Sam finished. “It’s the study of…..never mind” he said shaking his head as he realised that he had lost his brother’s attention already.  
  
“Dude, it’s the very hungry caterpillar book!” Dean said excitedly as he gave a big goofy grin. “I haven’t read this in years. It was like my favourite book when I was a kid. Actually, it was the only book I ever read” he realised.  
  
“That’s more like your reading age” Sam thought bitterly under his breath. Even though Dean was an embarrassment to him right now, he loved how adorable he looked as he curled up cross legged on the floor and started to flick through the pages of the book, mouthing the words on the page and smiling. Something caught his attention in the back of the library. ‘Family health section’. He hadn’t thought about it before, but it was perfect. He could make the most of being in possession of books on pregnancy and parenting. He looked over at his brother and decided that he would be distracted for a while yet. He padded over to the relevant shelves and shyly looked around. There was no-one else in this part of the library. He ran his fingers over the spines of the books and stopped when he landed on one that had caught his attention. He scanned the index and did a quick calculation in his head. He opened the book up on the page entitled ‘ _10 weeks_ ’.  
  
 _‘Your baby is now the size of a small plum_ ’ the text read. He brushed his hand over his stomach. “So I guess you’ve grown a bit then pip” he said to himself. “That’s why daddy struggled with his zipper this morning”. It was true. He had definitely put back on the weight he had lost and had even gained a pound or two and his jeans were now feeling slightly snug. He was thankful that his height had its advantages as the very subtle weight gain wasn’t obvious from the outside. After reading the text on the double page he smiled to himself that all of his symptoms matched up- thus giving him reassurance that he was having a healthy pregnancy.  
  
He gazed down at a photo in the book and smiled. “You actually look like a baby now. I’ll see you again in a couple of weeks, so I‘ll get to see all of this” he thought to himself again. He had taken the doctor’s advice on having a 12 week check up. He hadn’t had much of a chance to think about how he was going to get more money or where he was going to find another clinic-both without raising too much suspicion. He slowly placed the book back on the shelf after memorising the title.   
  
His eyes darted along the length of the shelves at the other books. As he turned his head he saw his brother approach him looking bored and uninterested. “Why are you in the family health section?” he asked as he read the sign. “I’m pretty sure that anthro whatever isn’t anything to do with that”.  
  
Sam gasped and swallowed rapidly. “Did you finish your book?” he asked trying to deflect.  
  
The older brother rolled his eyes. “Yeah. It wasn’t as interesting as I remembered it. He turns into a butterfly? Not cool! Anyway I’ve also had a quick look through the papers and browsed the local news. There’s nothing here that is our gig. I think we should head upstate a bit more”.  
  
“Dean….” Sam began to say. “Maybe we shouldn’t go looking for trouble and just lay low for a while. Why do you always need to find us a hunt?”.  
  
Dean looked confused. “I don’t understand. This is our way of life Sammy. This is who we are and this is what we do. But I need this, I need to keep going. If you want to leave, I’m not going to stop you. Is that what you want? Do you want to leave?” he asked, his voice going shaky, afraid of the answer.  
  
There was no way that Sam was going to let his brother go solo again. He needed him. They needed each other. He forced the corners of his mouth into a smile. “No, I don’t want to leave. I’m not going to leave. We’re in this together, right? I’m just saying that I don’t want to draw anymore attention to ourselves than we have to, that’s all”.  
  
“Are you still worried about what that demon said to you? He was a demon Sam. _A demon_. It kinda goes with the territory to make threats like that. They’re not supposed to be nice to you. He was scared and clutching at straws, he was just trying to provoke a reaction in you. And that obviously worked. But they were just empty petty threats. Just forget about it and move on. I’m not worried, so you shouldn’t be either” Dean said, remaining completely calm and un-phased.  
  
Sam felt his emotions bubble to the surface again. His hormones were becoming more and more sensitive to the slightest of things. “How can you not care, Dean? Does your life really mean that little to you?”.  
  
“What?” Dean asked frankly. He didn’t understand where this was going. They had been through this, why was he dragging it up again un-necessarily. “No, that’s not what I meant. Can we please drop this?”.  
  
“Fine” the younger hunter said as he started to storm off ahead.  
  
The older hunter shook his head and started to increase his strides to catch up with his younger sibling. “Sam. Sammy, come on man, slow down. Give me a break here” he said flapping his arms around his head.  
  
As they reached the Impala, the older hunter’s cell phone started to ring. “Get in the car. Please don’t go anywhere” he pleaded as he looked down at the caller display on his cell. “It’s Bobby”.  
  
Shrugging his shoulders, Sam opened up the passenger door to the Impala. “Answer it then” he said sulkily.  
  
Dean flipped up the lid on his cell and forced himself to sound as cheerful as possible. “What’s up Bobby?”.  
  
Bobby’s voice boomed out from the other end of the cell. “Nothing, just checking in on you idjits, making sure that you’re still alive! You’ve not called in a while and I was beginning to get worried about y’all”.  
  
“I’m sorry Bobby. I know that it’s inexcusable, but we’ve kinda been, uh, busy, and had a lot on our plates. Look, we’re only a few hours away from you, so we’ll pop in on you, if that’s okay” Dean said apologetically.  
  
“Of course it is ya idjit. You two are the closest thing I’ve got to a family, and you know you’re always welcome to drop in whenever you want” Bobby said sincerely.  
  
The older hunter sat down in the driver’s seat and looked over at his younger brother who still looked upset and distracted. “Thanks Bobby. We’ll be with you before sunset. Bye” he said closing the lid.  
  
Sam laid a hand across his stomach, unconsciously aware that he was doing it. “I guess that we’re going to Bobby’s then” he said sullenly.  
  
“Yeah….” Dean started to say as he put on his seatbelt and put the keys in the ignition. “Unless…..unless you don’t want to of course”.  
  
Showing more interest in the conversation, the youngest hunter followed suit and put his own seatbelt on. “No, it’s fine. Let’s go. It might do us good, you know, to have a break for a couple of days” he said, as his interest peaked.  
  
Turning the key in the ignition, the older hunter nodded his head enthusiastically. “I agree” he replied. He put the car into gear and was about to set off, but he paused and put the gear shifter back into neutral. He needed to set the record straight. “Sam…..?”.  
  
The younger hunter turned his head toward his sibling. “Yeah?”.  
  
Dean shuffled his hands around awkwardly as he tried to find the correct words that would reassure his sibling. “I do care. About you, and about myself. I just wanted to let you know that”.  
  
Sam smiled sadly. “I know you do” he said having a change of heart. “Now, let’s hit the road. If we’re lucky we’ll be in time for one of Bobby’s meat feasts”.  
  
“Oh God, I hope so” the older brother said amusedly. “And hopefully BBQ sauce and homemade potato salad too!”. He was almost salivating from the thought. “Let’s get this baby on the road” he said before putting the car into gear and accelerating away onto the open highway in front of them, the prospect of a proper meal spurring them on.  
  
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Bobby Singer was busy in the kitchen cooking up a feast for his impending guests. He hadn’t seen the Winchester brothers for about 3 months and those boys were pretty much his own sons since the passing of their father.   
  
The last time he had seen them was just after Dean got out of hell. He was keen to see them again. He felt responsible for anything that happened to them.  
  
His super sensitised ears pricked up at the faint rumble of the Impala engine, drawing ever closer to his front door. Wiping his hands on a dish cloth, he peered through the curtains to confirm that it was his anticipated guests that were pulling up.  
  
Smiling, he went over to the front door and opened it up. He stood in the front porch with his arms folded as he studied the two siblings, sensing the tension and stiffness between them.  
  
His hand went out to take their bags as the brother’s approached him. Dean was leading, and Sam trudged along wearily behind him.  
  
“It’s good to see you boys” he said as took their luggage from them. “Are y’all okay, good journey?”.  
  
Dean smiled as he hugged the older man briefly. “Yeah, we made good time. Once we hit the highway we reached top down. My baby‘s still got it” he boasted proudly.  
  
Bobby nodded his head to acknowledge that he had heard. He pulled the younger brother into a hug. “Alright Sam?”.  
  
Sam made an effort to nod and smile with as much enthusiasm as he could despite his severe exhaustion. It was like the baby he carried was sapping him of all of his energy and stamina. “I’m good thanks Bobby”.  
  
“Come on, let’s get you boys inside and get you fed and rested. God knows you look like you need it” the oldest hunter said as he ushered the young men inside, making sure to close and lock the front door behind him, purely out of habit.  
  
“Something smells good, Bobby. Something smells really good” Dean said enthusiastically as his senses and taste buds tingled with the delicious smell of food. He sat down on the couch and kicked off his shoes and made himself at home.  
  
The younger sibling flopped down sulkily on the couch next to his brother. His mood was still sour and he didn’t quite know why. But the thought of staying somewhere safe and homely for a few days caused him to perk up.  
  
“We’ve got t-bone steaks, rib-eye steaks, chicken, burgers” Bobby said as he went through the list of food that he’d been cooking up. “I think I may have over done it with the food, but I figured that you’d both be famished. I‘m just waiting for the BBQ sauce to heat through and it‘ll be ready”.  
  
Dean stretched his arms out behind his head and sighed contently “You’re awesome, do you know that? And I’m sure that nothing will go to waste!”.  
  
Bobby smiled. “Let me fix you boys up with some drinks”. He went into the refrigerator and pulled out 3 cold beers and set them down in front of his guests.  
  
The oldest sibling popped the top off his beer instantly and took a long satisfied swig. “Aaahhh, just the thing. Nothing like a cold beer at the end of the day”.   
  
Sam picked up his bottle cautiously and popped the lid off. He brought it up to his mouth and studied the contents. The smell of beer reached his nose and caused a wave of nausea. He put the bottle back down on the table and pushed it towards his brother who had nearly finished his first beer already. “Can I get some orange juice instead?”.  
  
“Uh….sure…..” Bobby said surprised at the young hunter’s refusal of beer.  
  
“Oh yeah” Dean snorted. “Sammy here is on a bit of a health kick. He’s even started to take vitamins”.  
  
“It wouldn’t do you any harm to lay off the alcohol for a bit” Sam said through gritted teeth.  
  
Dean rolled his eyes. These days, his brother was always looking for an argument of some sort. He was too tired to give him one tonight. “Don’t start please”.  
  
Bobby was uneasy as he looked between the two siblings. Something definitely wasn’t right between them but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He presumed that things were still tense and that it was too fresh and raw from Dean going to hell and then miraculously coming out again. Deciding to ignore it he wanted to diffuse the imminent dispute before it developed anymore. “Okay, let’s get the food on the table” he said clearing his throat and summoning them to the kitchen table. “You’re both welcome to stay here for as long as you want, sort yourselves out, get some rest. You both look beat”.  
  
Sam, feeling genuinely touched by the offer, smiled. “Thank you Bobby. I think we should stay here for a while Dean” he suggested as he gave his brother a pleading look.  
  
The older brother looked into the youngest hunter’s eyes. “Okay, if that’s what you want, we’ll stay for a bit” he said solemnly as he sat down at the dinner table. “With food this good, it’s going to be hard to leave”.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said to the other two hunters as he joined his brother at the table. He was suddenly ravenous as his eyes scoured the selection of perfectly cooked meats. It was just what his body was craving at the moment. “This all looks delicious” he said as he started to pile his plate high with food.  
  
Bobby, after bringing over the last plate of meat, finally joined his guests at the table. “So how have things been? How come I’ve not heard from you for a few months?”.  
  
Dean had filled his plate and had started to tuck into one of the t-bone steaks. “Things have just been a little bit, uh, full on since I…..you know….came out of hell….” he said as he stabbed at a bit of the cut up steak before shoving it into his mouth. “We’re getting things back on track now though”.  
  
Sam was tucking into his food ravenously, moaning and nodding appreciatively at how good it tasted.  
  
“That’s quite an appetite you’ve got there boy” Bobby said as he observed the youngest sibling. “You’re giving your brother a run for his money and that’s saying something”.  
  
“Hey!” the older sibling protested as he took a sip from his bottle of beer. “Don’t bring me into this! But yeah Sammy, you’re really packing away that food!”  
  
The younger hunter blushed embarrassingly as he stopped chewing to speak. He put his fork down on his plate. “I’m hungry” he said defensively.  
  
Bobby laughed amusedly. “We’re only winding you up. I’m glad that you’re enjoying it so much. Don’t listen to your brother, eat as much as you want”.  
  
Sam hesitated before he picked up his fork again and resumed eating, not able to get enough food in his mouth at once.  
  
Twenty minutes later and the food on the table was nearly all gone. Dean undid the top button on his jeans and leant back in his chair as he popped the lid off his third beer. “Amazing Bobby. You have no idea how nice that was. Our first proper meal that wasn’t microwaveable or from some crappy diner”.  
  
“Are you sure I can’t tempt you with a beer?” Bobby asked the youngest sibling.  
  
Sipping slowly at the orange juice, Sam shook his head. “No thank you” he said as he swallowed his mouthful, wincing at the acidy sensation. He rubbed his hand over the top of his stomach as he felt the heartburn building up, probably from the result of eating far too quickly.  
  
Bobby started to gather up the empty plates and pile them up next to the sink. “I’m guessing y’all don’t have room for pudding?”.  
  
Dean groaned. “No way. Maybe later though” he said as he casually sipped beer from his bottle.  
  
“Okay. We’ll save it for tomorrow. I’m going to need all the food I can get, because you boys are going to eat me out of house and home at this rate” Bobby said as he started to fill the sink with hot water ready to wash up the dirty dishes.  
  
Sam moaned softly as the heartburn was increasing in intensity. His hand rubbed frantically over the spot as he hunched over the table and winced inwardly.  
  
The older brother suddenly tuned into his brother’s discomfort. “Sammy? What’s wrong?” he asked, going into older brother protective mode.  
  
“Just a little indigestion, nothing to worry about” Sam said courageously as he winced at the pain again. “I think I ate too fast!”.  
  
“I can fix you up with something” the oldest of the trio said as he went into the medicine cupboard. He pulled out a box of indigestion tablets and handed it over to the suffering hunter.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said gratefully as he took the medication. He pulled out a couple of the pills and was about to put them in his mouth when something stopped him. He put them down on the table. Picking up the box he read the instructions on the back. It didn’t tell him what he needed to know, so he took out the instructions from inside the box and began to read them.  
  
Dean looked quizzically at his brother. “Why are you reading the instructions? Quit being such a girl about it and swallow them down”.  
  
Sam automatically answered. “I’m checking to make sure that I can take them” he said before cutting himself short. He didn’t want to take the tablets if they were going to cause harm to his baby.  
  
“What do you mean? Of course you can take them?” Dean scoffed back as he finished off his beer.  
  
“I meant…I meant that I’m checking the dosage” Sam said quickly as his eyes darted along the lines of writing. He sighed with relief when he came across the part that he needed. Suitable for use during pregnancy. It felt strange to him, he never thought he’d be so concerned with what he put in his body. The overwhelming urge to protect his unborn child was growing by the day. He picked up the tablets and swallowed them down with the rest of his orange juice. “Do you need any help with the dishes?” he asked as he watched the oldest hunter put on gloves and start to scrub the first dirty plate.  
  
Bobby concentrated on washing the remains of food from the plate with a scrubbing brush and didn’t even turn around. “No. It’s fine. You boys have been on the road all day”.  
  
Sam yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He could feel his eyes getting heavier by the second. Luckily the heartburn in his stomach was easing off. “In that case, do you mind if I head off to bed?” he asked.  
  
Dean finished off yet another bottle of beer and got up to find another one from the fridge. “This early? Shall I go and fetch you your slippers and pipe granddad?” he joked.  
  
The oldest hunter once again intervened to stop the friendly banter from escalating. “Sure Sam. You know which room is yours, go ahead. Don’t listen to your brother. I’ll see you in the morning” he said, this time turning around.  
  
Getting up from his chair wearily, Sam yawned again. “Goodnight” he said walking out of the room, dragging his feet behind him.  
  
Dean watched with a heavy heart, as his younger sibling left the room. There was something going on with him, but he didn’t know what. He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was his fault- everything that he had put them both through. A pang of guilt ran through him and he shuddered suddenly.   
  
Bobby pulled Dean out of his thoughts. “Dean? Is everything okay with Sam? Is everything okay between you two?”.  
  
“I‘m not sure” the older brother admitted as he opened yet another bottle of beer. “But it will be. That’s all I do know” he said sadly. He sniffed and scrubbed his hand through his hair, before taking a sip of the fresh beer.  
  
“You boys have been through a lot worse than this and still came out the other side so I know that you’ll do the same again” Bobby said wisely. “I have everything faith in you. You Winchester‘s are tough and can overcome any obstacle”.  
  
Dean was only half listening to the other hunter. His mind had wandered elsewhere again. His thoughts lingered on his brother once more. Sighing deeply, he put down the bottle of beer and went over to put his coat on. “I’m going out Bobby. Don’t wait up for me” he said before grabbing the keys to the Impala.  
  
Before Bobby had even had a chance to respond, the older sibling had left the house. “Dear God, give me strength” he said as he took off his baseball cap and rubbed a gloved hand across his forehead. After cursing the Winchester siblings once more, he carried on with washing up the rest of the dirty dishes in the sink, wishing that life’s problems could be solved as easily as making dirty dishes clean again.


	13. Chapter 13

  
Dean was in a deep sleep, exhausted from yet another late night binge of alcohol. He hadn’t slept with anyone for a while and his body longed for sex, and he needed it so desperately. But there was only one person that he wanted to share that with and that was the one person that he couldn’t have.   
But that didn’t stop him from wanting, or imagining.  
  
He dreamt, imagined that Sam was next to him in the bed. He wrapped his arms around the pillow, hugging it tighter, bringing it closer to him, all the while imagining, hoping that it was the man he loved.  
  
Just the thought of being so close to his brother once again made his heart beat so fast in his chest, and his arousal to stir in his boxers, slowly going hard. He sub-consciously rocked his hips slowly, thrusting gently into the soft mattress, envisaging that it was Sam he was pounding in and out of. But before he could climax, he opened his eyes, suddenly awake, as the sound of a saucepan being dropped to the floor from the kitchen downstairs and a string a choice swearwords from Bobby, woke him up.   
  
He moaned quietly as he closed his eyes again, willing himself to go back to sleep and to continue the dream from where it got interrupted-deep in the throes of passion with his brother.  
  
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The crash of the saucepan had woken Sam up too. He opened his eyes, shielding them as the sun was streaming in through the window. After his eyes had acclimatised to the sudden change in light he scanned the room around him. It took him a few moments to realise where he was. Smiling, he pulled the bed covers up over him protectively as he felt homely and secure. He had slept blissfully and felt surprisingly refreshed and revived, despite his extreme exhaustion the day before. The smell of fresh coffee and bacon drifted up to him. This was the life that he so desperately craved and needed.  
  
A home. A family.  
  
Kicking the bed covers off him with his long legs, he stretched out his upper and lower limbs and felt the satisfying release of tension in his muscles. He looked down at his body and that’s when he noticed it. Signs that his body was starting to change.  
  
The toned muscles in his abdomen were just starting to break up. He ran his hand gingerly over his stomach and felt the very subtle beginnings of a slight bulge- the soft pliant flesh slowly becoming hard. This was a sign and a reminder that his baby was growing. Nothing could stop the smile that broke out on his face. The smile was then replaced with a frown when he realised that he would start to show very soon. He wasn’t quite ready for that yet. A voice echoed from down the stairs which roused him from his thoughts.  
  
“Wake up you lazy bones. Breakfast is on the table, come and get it before it gets cold and I give it to the dogs!” Bobby shouted in the hope that the brothers would hear.  
  
Sam shot out of bed and quickly put on his jeans and shirt from the previous day. “I’m coming!” he replied as he then battled to button up his shirt as quick as he was able to manage, suddenly feeling very aware and self-conscious. He then wandered into the bedroom next door where he knew his brother would be sleeping.   
  
He stopped in the doorway and leant against the doorframe to drink up the sight of his sleeping sibling. He wanted to take this opportunity to remind himself of every little feature of his brother.  
  
Dean was sprawled out on the bed lying prone on his stomach. His arms were wrapped around a pillow. The boxer shorts were the only thing that he was wearing- and those sat low on his slender hips, accentuating the curve of his lower back and the perfect globes of his ass. His hair was messy and sticking up in all directions, but it looked effortlessly gorgeous and perfect.  
  
The younger sibling licked his lips as his older brother moaned softly and subtly and turning just ever so slightly in his sleep to turn towards him. His arousal heightened when he saw how Dean’s boxers were tented with his obvious morning erection. He couldn’t help but gasp in delight. He clung to the doorframe for support as he felt his knees literally weaken underneath him as his want- his need increased every second he watched. A hand wandered down to cup his dick as he felt it react to his brother’s oblivious provocation. He thrust his groin up to the palm of his hand and started to rub it up against the abrasive denim.  
  
Biting awkwardly on his lips, he tried not to shout out as he felt his body react to his arousal. He imagined Dean’s beautiful legs around him while he fucked into him slow and gentle, whilst parting the peachy globes of his ass. He imagined soft and meaningful kisses being placed on his body. A wave of pleasure ran through his spine and down to his groin. He was close-so close and he wasn’t going to hold back.  
  
Eventually, his cock jerked inside the confines of his jeans and boxers and he felt the blissful release and shuddered to an incredible silent orgasm. When his orgasm had started to subside he smiled to himself at the thought that his brother could fulfil his sexual needs without knowing or even touching him.  
  
The sound of Bobby hustling around in the kitchen downstairs made him realise where he was again and what he was doing- or had done. He was still rejoicing in the aftermath of his orgasm when he walked closer to the bed where his sleeping brother lay. With one hand, he gently nudged him. “Dean. Wake up. Bobby’s got breakfast on the table”.  
  
Dean shifted in his sleep again and moaned louder. His body was halfway between sleep and being awake when he heard the voice that he had wanted to hear. He didn‘t know whether it was real or a part of the dream, but he answered regardless. “K Sammy…” he said as he put the pillow over his head. “Five more minutes…..” he said as he tried to bury his throbbing erection deep down into the mattress.  
  
Sam laughed quietly to himself. After watching his brother for another minute or so, he pressed a kiss to his hand and blew it silently over to him, imagining it ghosting across the bed and gently landing on Dean’s exquisite lips.  
  
Feeling content and happy, Sam left the room and walked downstairs and into the kitchen where Bobby had indeed rustled them up another appetizing meal. He sat down at the table and helped himself to a slice of hot toast which was oozing and dripping with butter.  
  
“Morning!” Bobby said cheerily as he put a plate of bacon down next to the toast. “Any sign of your brother coming into the world of the living anytime soon?”.  
  
Looking down at his watch, the young hunter laughed. “No. I wouldn’t count on it. I take it that he went out again last night?” he asked more seriously.  
  
Bobby could tell from the tone of voice that it was a sore subject for the younger sibling. “He goes out a lot, right?” he said with empathy as he sat down at the breakfast table next to his guest.  
  
Sam took a bite of toast. “Yeah” he said simply before taking another bite in the hope that Bobby wouldn’t probe any further into the matter.  
  
“You Winchester’s were never any good with talking about your feelings. It’s like trying to get blood out of a stone” the older hunter stated.  
  
“Mmm….” Sam said ignoring the statement, proving Bobby’s point further. He pointed to the plate of bacon. “May I?”.  
  
“Yeah” Bobby replied as he eyed the younger hunter suspiciously. He could sense his secrecy, a burden that he was carrying. He seemed different, more mellow and content and more protective of himself. “Sam?” he pressed on as he moved closer to the young hunter. “It’s okay….” he said as he poured some coffee into an empty mug and pushed it towards Sam testingly.  
  
The smell of the thick black liquid caffeine caused Sam to turn away in disgust as it caused a wave of nausea. Shaking his head he pushed the mug away from him. “No coffee for me”.   
  
Bobby sighed wearily and resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to get any further in the cause of the younger sibling’s unusual strained behaviour. “Sorry, I forgot, that would hamper your new healthy eating diet, right?” he implied as he looked at Sam knowingly.  
  
Sam looked back up and opened his mouth to speak. “Bobby….I……”.  
  
“Did someone say coffee? Yes please” Dean said as he meandered into the kitchen, still sleepy, unknowingly cutting his brother off in mid-sentence.  
  
Sam’s head snapped round to look at Dean. To his disappointment he had put his jeans and a black t-shirt on. He could almost visualize the contours of his brother’s torso from under the stretched cotton fabric of his t-shirt. Sam’s breath was taken away for a mere second, when Dean stretched up which caused his t-shirt to rise up, revealing exposed tanned flesh on his waist-line. Realising that he was probably staring too much he turned his attention back to his toast, blushing shamefully after he had watched his brother sleep whilst he got off from it.  
  
The older brother’s hands reached out for a mug as he started to pour the thick black caffeinated liquid into it. He felt embarrassed to look at his brother after his dream, but willed himself to look nonetheless. Sam was eating toast, and then wiped butter from his chin with a napkin. His cheeks were rosy red and his skin seemed to glow. He looked content and happy.  
  
The brother’s were brought crashing back down to earth as Bobby cursed. “Aw crap. This milk’s gone sour. I’ll have to go and get some more” he said throwing the offending carton into the trash can.  
  
Dean blinked and become instantly alert. “It’s okay Bobby, I can drink my coffee black. Don’t stress”.  
  
Bobby screwed up his face and exhaled noisily.  
  
Sam intervened. “Yeah, seriously, don’t stress. I don’t need milk either, come and eat your breakfast” he said quickly clearing his throat and zoning back to the present.  
  
“Okay. I’ll get some later” the oldest man said as he started to tuck into the food on the table.  
  
After a few sips of coffee, Dean looked more human and less zombie like and his stomach suddenly started to demand food. “You’re spoiling us here Bobby. We could get used to this, you know?”.  
  
Bobby’s cheeks flushed uncomfortably at the sentiment. “Like I’ve said, you’re both welcome to stay whenever you want. I’m by myself in this big old house, it needs a family” he said sadly. “And you two idjits are the closest thing to it dammit”.  
  
Finishing off his breakfast Sam wiped his hands on the napkin and stood up, pushing his chair back. Bobby’s words rang through his mind, it was almost mocking his situation cruelly. He took his empty plate over to the sink. “I’m going to head into town so I’ll pick up some milk for you. Mind if I take the Impala, Dean?”. He had the sudden urge to get out of the house, away from his brother and to spend some time alone with himself and his thoughts especially after his conversation with Bobby. To give him credit, he never missed a trick and he was sure that he knew his predicament. He felt reassured though, because another one of the oldest hunter’s attributes was his ability to remain faithful, so his secret would be safe, for now.  
  
Dean just nodded his head as he sipped on his coffee. He signalled to the table by the couch. “Yeah sure, the keys are over there. You might want to fill her up with some gas though”.  
  
Sam picked up the Impala keys and patted his pocket to make sure that he had his wallet. “Thanks Dean. And yes, I know, don’t park her too close to the side of the road ‘cos it’ll dent the rims”. He chose to ignore the rolling of his sibling’s eyes. “Do you want anything else from the store Bobby?”.  
  
“Uh….I dunno, see what they’ve got on special at the store. Do you need any money?” Bobby asked as he scratched the side of his neck distractedly as he struggled to maintain eye contact with the younger hunter as he’d realised his secret.  
  
“No. I’ll pay for the groceries, it‘s the least we can do. You putting us up here is more than enough. This is on us, to show our appreciation” Sam said sincerely. “I consider you family too, so thanks”.  
  
“Yeah, I second that too” Dean piped up as he nursed his cup of coffee and waved one of his hands in the air, rolling his wrist around lazily.  
  
Bobby smiled at the brother’s sentiment as he felt his eyes start to glaze over. He cleared his throat and deepened his voice before his emotions took hold of him too much. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. So Dean” he said, changing the tone quickly, “I’ve got a nice little number lined up for you. She needs a bit of bodywork doing and some of her parts need to be replaced but show her some TLC and she’ll be purring soon enough. Interested?”.  
  
The interest had peaked in the older brother as his eyes sparkled. This was a distraction, something to do to keep him occupied for a few days. Besides, it wouldn’t be a chore, it was another passion of his. “Hell yeah! Would you mind Sam? Staying for a while, until I’ve at least finished the car?”.  
  
Sam was surprised by his brother asking his permission. He had no objections to staying here for a week or so. He beamed back at his brother. “Of course not. It would be great. I guess I’ll pick up some food to see us through until the end of the week then”.  
  
“Do you need some help?” Dean asked his brother.  
  
“No it’s okay. Besides, I’ll be quicker by myself and at least if I go, we’ll actually have something edible to eat. You can’t live off beer and microwave burgers” Sam joked.  
  
Dean frowned. “What? It hasn’t done me any harm!”.  
  
Bobby laughed the same time as Sam. He winked. “No, of course it hasn’t Dean”.  
  
Before walking out of the front door, Sam took one last glance of the happy family scene in front of him. Was it really so wrong to want this so much?   
  
This so called normal apple pie life?


	14. Chapter 14

After picking up the essential items in the store and getting food to see them through the course of the week, Sam continued to wander around the rest of the aisles in the supermarket. He’d stopped when he found that he was standing in the baby aisle. His eyes were instantly drawn to pink and blue romper suits and outfits for newborn babies. They seemed so small, so tiny and fragile, but so beautiful. His hand went down to his stomach for a brief moment as he wondered whether the baby would be a girl or a boy.  
  
It didn’t matter to him which one either way, as long as it was healthy and as long as it was a part of him and Dean, he would be happy and content.  
  
He continued to wander down the aisle, stopping occasionally to look at things. His eyes fixated on a beautiful wicker bassinet with a pale yellow bow and silky frills adorning the edges. His hand went out to feel it. On seeing the price he felt his heart being wrenched from within. As he carried on to the next aisle and studied the prices on the car seats and prams, he felt suddenly panicked as the true situation sank in. There was no way that he’d be able to manage to pay for all the things that him and the baby needed. He suddenly felt like a failure and a bad father already. A father should be able to provide for his family.  
  
Gathering up speed and momentum, he walked straight to the front of the store to pay for the items in his basket. His mind kept mulling over and over his financial situation. How was he going to be able to bring up a child without a home- without any money? But, on the other hand, there was no way he was going to get rid of the baby. He didn’t know how, but he was determined to find a way. If their father could do it, then so could he.  
  
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 _John Winchester sighed mournfully as he looked down at his sleeping sons. It was Christmas Eve and they were stuck in yet another crappy motel. Even with his fake credit cards, it was the best that he could afford after maxing it out on buying new ammunition.  
  
He tried his best to make Christmas as enjoyable as he could every year but with no steady source of income, it was almost mission impossible. Every year his sons woke up expecting Santa Claus to have left them a big stack of presents and every year he could see their disappointment on their faces when Santa had yet again left them out.  
  
Looking at his watch showed him that it was nearly 10pm. Deciding that he couldn’t take watching his sons’ regret and distress at not getting to celebrate Christmas like they had seen other children, he was determined to make this year different. Sneaking out of the motel room he started his hunt for whatever he could to inject a little bit of Christmas spirit into their uncertain and unconventional lives.  
  
When little Sam and Dean Winchester awoke the next morning, it was to great excitement and surprise. To any other person, it would have been far from satisfactory, but to them it was like the greatest thing in the world.  
  
A skinny looking, mal-nourished tree sat in the middle of the motel room in a rusty metal bucket. It was adorned with broken bits of tinsel in a variety of different colours. On the top there was even a star which had been fastened from tin foil.   
  
There were even presents which had been lovingly wrapped up in the only thing that their father could find- newspaper. But they were gifts all the same.  
  
Little Sam and Dean tore off the paper hastily to reveal their gifts from Santa. It wasn’t a racing car or a bicycle like they had asked Santa for in their letters, but they were theirs. Small tokens from their father to try and make their lives as normal as possible for just one day at least. As least this Christmas their father was with them, not on a hunt. That was their best gift.  
  
John Winchester beamed back at his children who smiled when he told them that they were having a special treat for food being that it was an exceptional day. Instead of Lucky Charms or cold Spaghetti-O’s there would be a proper meal and some chocolate and candy for afterwards.  
  
That night, the siblings went to bed happy, not being able to sleep because they were too excited about their day, talking about their presents and the Christmas tree. For that day at least, they had forgotten about worrying where they would go tomorrow and what they would see.  
  
They didn’t have much- but to them, having their father with them and the small gestures they did have, meant the world to them.   
  
  
_Sam smiled sadly at one of his more happier memories of his childhood. Thinking about it now, the lengths that their father had gone through just to get them what he had was remarkable under the circumstances. Despite all the resentment of the way he was raised, he felt content with that. They never had much- but they were happy. If his father could raise them single-handedly then he could raise this baby he was sure of it.  
  
Before he knew it he had reached Bobby’s scrap yard and came to a halt outside the house. Taking the bags of groceries from the trunk he walked up to the garage that was attached to the side of the house.  
  
The familiar sound of his brother’s favourite Metallica album blasted out from the car that he was busy working on. Dean was singing along whilst playing enthusiastically on his air guitar, strumming his hands in rhythm to the cords.  
  
As Sam approached his brother from behind he smiled to see him so care-free and happy. His white t-shirt was speckled with oil and dirt from tending to under the hood.   
  
The older hunter was in his element as he adjusted a screw with a wrench. Standing back up straight and leaning against the rigidity of the wind shield, he saw his younger sibling approach him. He wiped his oily hands on a discarded rag and smiled. “Hey Sammy!”.  
  
Sam smiled in return. He nodded at the car. “How’s it going?”.  
  
Dean wiped his brow with the oily rag and put his hand on his hip. His other hand brushed gently through his ruffled hair. “She’s a tough one, but I think I’m getting there”.  
  
“If anyone can get her going and fix her up then you can” Sam said confidently. It’s true, his brother knew everything there was to know about cars. In fact, if he wasn’t a hunter he could easily start up a career as a mechanic.  
  
Trying to hide his embarrassment about the compliment, Dean looked back down and buried his head under the hood again. “I don’t know about that but I’ll try my damnedest”.  
  
Sam’s curiosity got the better of him. He put the bags of groceries down by the front porch and inched closer to his brother. “So what are you doing there?”.  
  
The older brother raised an eyebrow questioningly. “You really wanna know stuff about cars?”.  
  
Shrugging his shoulders, Sam sighed. It wasn’t that he wanted to know about cars, it was that he wanted to take an interest in whatever his brother was doing. It didn’t matter what it was, if Dean was teaching him, then he wanted to be taught. “Yeah, I sure do”.  
  
Dean laughed. “Okay, roll up your sleeves, this is going to get really messy”.  
  
Sam took his jacket off and rolled up the long sleeves on his shirt. He tuned into every little thing that his brother started to say as he showed him how to check the oil. “How do you know all of this stuff, Dean?”.  
  
Smiling sadly, the older hunter reminisced about how his father had taught him everything that he needed to know.  
  
  
 _“So you want to be a mechanic when you’re older then?” John Winchester said to his eldest son._  
  
8 year old Dean Winchester nodded his head enthusiastically and smiled. “Yes Daddy. I want to be able to fix cars and make them better!”.  
  
John Winchester tried his best to smile. He really hoped that his sons could go on to lead a normal life and hoped that their dreams and ambitions would come true. “Well then champ, I guess that I better show you the ropes. Shall we open up the hood?” he said to his son as he ruffled his hair.  
  
“Yes please. I want to use this!” the excitable child shouted as he jumped up and down whilst holding a spanner in his hand.  
  
John Winchester laughed and set a hand on his offspring’s shoulder to calm him down. “Steady on. Let’s start off with something nice and simple, shall we? Lesson number one will be to check the oil level. It’s really easy but very important”.  
  
Little Dean stopped jumping up and down and focused on his father’s face intently as he didn’t want to miss a single thing that he was about to be taught. He tried in vain to peer over the hood to look inside. His father sensed the predicament and put his son to stand on a step stool so he could see.   
  
Before focusing on the task in hand, the protective father looked in through the window of their motel room to reassure himself that his youngest son was okay. He sighed contently as he saw that the youngest Winchester was happily playing with his set of toy soldiers on the bed. He turned his attention back to the bowels of his beloved Impala. “So, the oil then” he said pulling out the dipstick. “Can you pass me that old rag Dean?”.  
  
The older sibling jumped off from the step stool and ran over to pick up the old rag that he had seen his father use earlier. He passed it over and felt pleased with himself that he did what was asked of him. “Here you go daddy!”.  
  
“Thank you champ” John said praising his son. “Okay, now you need to wipe the stick clean with that rag. Just wrap it around and drag it down”.  
  
“Like this?” Dean asked, needing reassurance that he was doing it correctly.  
  
John nodded his head. “Just like that. Now we need to put it back into the dip tube. Do you want to try that?”.  
  
Dean gave is father a confused look as he took hold of the clean dipstick. “Why did we have to clean it off if we’re just going to put it back into the dirty oil?”.  
  
“You’ll see, just pop it back in” John encouraged as he wrapped his hand around his son’s and helped him guide it back into the dip tube.  
  
“Now what?” Dean asked, his face still fixed on a puzzled frown, his arms folded over his chest.  
  
John laughed. “We pull it back out again! Trust me, you’ll see what we’re doing in just a second.  
  
The older sibling sighed heavily, but prompted by his father he removed the offending stick from the tube. He studied it intensely but couldn’t see the logic of what they had just done.  
  
“Can you see the lines on the stick? The oil needs to be between those two lines, that how we know that there’s enough oil in the engine for the car to work” John explained. “We had to wipe it clean first so that we could get an accurate reading”.  
  
After pondering for a few moments, Dean finally broke into a smile and his eyes lit up as he understood. “It was too dirty to see the marks so we cleaned it and put it back in and now we can! It’s magic! What are we going to do next?” he asked as he picked up the spanner once again.  
  
“One step at a time champ” John said to his son. “There’s plenty of time to learn everything you need to know about cars”.  
  
  
“Dad. I learnt most of the things from dad. The rest I’ve had to pick up myself and learn as I go along. It’s funny how things turn out. I was so keen on being a mechanic……” Dean said as he brought himself back to the harsh reality.  
  
Sam leant back against passenger door. “It’s not too late. You can still become a mechanic. Open up your own garage, start afresh”.  
  
Dean shook his head. “We can’t just start afresh Sammy. We’ve got responsibilities….a job to do here. We‘ve been through this. Like I said before, if you wanna bail on this, then I‘m not going to stop you…”.  
  
“And I’m not going to leave you Dean. I’m not going to let you do this all by yourself. We’re in this together” Sam said sternly. “We’re a team, right?”.  
  
“Yeah…..we’re a team” the older brother re-iterated. He cocked his head over to the direction of the bags of groceries. “Now since we’re team players how about you go and fix us some lunch?” he joked.  
  
Sam laughed at his brother’s typical light-hearted humour. “When don’t you think about your stomach?”.  
  
The older sibling wiped an oily hand onto his t-shirt and smirked. “Hey, this is hard graft, I’m a growing boy and I need my food!”.  
  
“Okay” the younger hunter said as he picked up the grocery bags. “Meatball sub with marinara sauce and extra onions?”.  
  
“You know me too well” Dean answered as he gave his brother one of his dashing smiles that he reserved only for special occasions- or for special people. His brother was definitely worthy of one.  
  
Smiling shyly, Sam carried the bags into the porch and let himself into the house. His brother watched him until he disappeared through the door. Dean sighed contently as he tried to enjoy the perfect domestic bliss and the little taster of what he supposed normality would be like. He was determined to make the most of this- who knew what he would be dealing with this time next week or how he would be living. Shaking off the negativity he turned his attention back to tentatively tending to the broken car all the while trying to push his fantasies about his brother out of his head.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A week later after recuperating at Bobby’s house, the young Winchester hunters bid farewell to their father figure.  
  
“A doggy bag! Have I told you lately how awesome you are Bobby” Dean said as he held up a brown paper bag filled with scrumptious snacks for their journey.  
  
Bobby chuckled and folded his arms across his broad chest. “Don’t eat it all at once!”.  
  
The older hunter swung his legs around into the driver’s seat of the Impala. “I’m still full from breakfast so I think I can wait a couple of hours before tucking into it”.  
  
Sam gave Bobby a hug and held onto him tightly, trying to prolong it as much as he could. He didn’t want to leave what he considered a safe haven right now. But he didn’t have much of a choice, he had to go where his brother did. “Thanks for everything Bobby”.  
  
The oldest hunter spoke softly into the vulnerable young hunter’s ear. “And you know where I am if you want to talk. Don’t be a stranger. Look after yourself” he said glancing down at Sam’s stomach.  
  
As Sam moved into the passenger seat slowly and reluctantly he watched his brother’s friendly interaction with the other hunter.   
  
“I’ve got that mustang running as sweet as a nut now, so make sure that you keep her that way. I just wanna work on her paintwork a bit more then she’s fit for the road!” Dean said proudly and enthusiastically as he had achieved all that he possibly could on the formally run-down car.  
  
“You know where she is, she’s not going anywhere. You better hit the road now if you want to hit Nevada by sunset. Keep me updated on your progress and if you’ve found any further leads on those pesky demons!” Bobby said diplomatically.   
  
Dean turned the key in the ignition as Sam closed the passenger door. The roar of the Impala signalled their impending departure. “We will do Bobby, thanks again!” the older brother shouted back as he rolled down his window and put the car into first gear and put his foot down on the gas, and tore away from sanctuary of the oldest hunter’s scrap yard.


	15. Chapter 15

Sam was sprawled out on the bed in their latest Motel room. The bed was old and creaky and the mattress was barely passable as something comfortable to sleep on. The taps in the bathroom dripped continuously and echoed through the thin plywood door and the lamps on the nightstands flickered due to faulty connections. But then what could you expect for a mere $20 a night? This was very different to Bobby’s house which they had left over a week ago now and had put several states between.  
  
The younger hunter was glad that they hadn’t done any hunting for a couple of weeks. He felt utterly drained and exhausted right now. He pressed down hard on the buttons of the remote control to change the channel on the TV. After several attempts, the antique television finally registered the signal and tuned into another channel. After deciding that this was marginally better than anything else on, Sam settled back into the bed and dipped his hand into his bag of potato chips- his second packet today already. He couldn’t seem to get enough of them.  
  
The door to their room swung open and the eldest brother walked in carrying a bag of groceries. “You’ve not moved from the bed when I left you an hour ago!” he said in an annoyingly cheery tone of voice. “And that’s your second bag of chips today. Careful Sammy, you’re getting lazy, if you don’t burn them off you’re going to get flabby!”.  
  
Sam narrowed his eyes and glared at his brother. He took one last handful of potato chips and shoved them hastily into his mouth. He scrunched up the empty packet and threw it into the trash can. Swinging his legs around off the edge of the bed he stood himself up. Deciding to ignore his brother’s snide comments he peered cautiously into the brown paper bag. “What’ve we got for food later?”.  
  
Dean started to unpack the groceries and laid them out on the table in front of them. “Not a lot. There’s only so much that you can buy with 7 dollars and 65 cents! We’re well and truly broke!”.  
  
“Yet you always seem to have enough money to go out and get drunk every night!” Sam stated, startling himself by the abruptness of his voice.  
  
The older hunter felt himself start to blush. “That’s different….and I never have to pay for my drinks…they get bought for me…..in return for….other things…” he said cutting his sentence short.  
  
Sam cringed. “Well, whatever. The fact is that we have to eat and pay for somewhere to stay. What are we going to do about money?”.  
  
Dean smiled and laughed as if the answer was blindingly simple. “We get on the internet and start applying for more credit cards……well, Mr Bonham will be anyway” he said amusedly.  
  
“Dean. This is serious. Do you know how much trouble we’re in already? We don’t need to attract anymore attention to ourselves. The cops have already got enough on us for credit card fraud to lock us away for years” Sam said worriedly.  
  
The older brother looked at his brother. When he realised that he was being totally serious his look of amusement turned into dismay. “You’re being serious? What do you expect us to do then? Stand on street corners and pawn myself out for money?”.  
  
Sam tried to pretend that that statement didn’t hurt him. He took a deep breath in and composed himself. “We need to do something”. He was trying to avoid the subject of money- he was yet to think of how he was going to be able to afford to pay for his next ultrasound appointment- the 12 week scan that he had been advised to have. He needed a solution fast, because if his calculations were correct then that would be in about a week’s time.  
  
Dean’s smile was back, showing reassurance and comfort. “Relax, we’ll go and hustle some pool tonight. It’ll be fine, trust me we always manage”.  
  
“Through deception and dishonesty” the younger hunter said abruptly.  
  
“Yeah, so?” Dean asked, his patience wearing thin. “Lighten up. I think I’ve found us a new hunt, something that we can get our teeth stuck into again”.  
  
Sam tried to dig deep to find his enthusiasm but he was exhausted. “Great” he said un-enthusiastically.  
  
“I’m not sure what we’re dealing with quite yet, but something ain’t right in this town. Something’s going down” Dean said excitedly as he rubbed his hands together. “So what do you want to eat?”.  
  
The younger hunter sat down on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “What have we got?” he asked as he looked back up blankly.  
  
Dean held out a can. “Spaghetti-O’s” he announced.  
  
Grimacing, Sam screwed up his face in disgust. “What else have we got?” he asked hopeful for a second option.  
  
The older brother picked up another can in his other hand and held it out. “Or……Spaghetti-O’s” he said proudly showing off the options. “They were on special offer, buy one get one free!”.  
  
“I guess I gotta go for the Spaghetti-O’s then” Sam said chuckling to himself. “Any chance that we’ve got bread to go with that?”.  
  
After fumbling around in the bag, Dean held up two loaves of bread. “White or brown?”.  
  
Sam laughed again. “Brown, please!”.  
  
“Brown…okay….” the older brother said as he looked around at the limited facilities. ‘We’ll have to have it cold. We’ve not got a microwave or a toaster in this crap hole of a room. So how about we hit the nearest bar and get hustling and earn ourselves a nice room for tomorrow and a decent meal?”.  
  
“That sounds good to me” Sam said showing his enthusiasm. “A nice hot bath wouldn’t go amiss either”.  
  
Dean turned around and smiled at his younger brother. “And I’ll show you exactly how to squeeze as much money as possible from those suckers that are stupid enough to fall for our little scams” he said light-heartedly.  
  
Sam tried to keep the smile on his face but couldn’t help grimace at his brother’s words. He didn’t want to live like this anymore, but right now, that was the only option he had. “Anything for a nice meal and some hot water we can actually wash with!”.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The bar was busier than they had expected, to the older hunter’s delight. But it made Sam feel even more self-conscious and anxious. They pushed through the crowds and moved past the faces until they had fought their way to the bar.  
  
“A round of beers” Dean said as he summoned the bartender.  
  
Sam sighed and confronted his brother. “I don’t think that it’s a very good idea to drink too much. We need to stay sober, keep on the ball” he said as he declined the bottle of beer that the bartender put in front of him.  
  
“It’s fine Sammy, relax. I play better when I’m drunk anyway. I know what I’m doing” Dean said as he took a few swigs from his bottle and started scanning the bar to suss out where the land lay. “Over there……the pool table closest to the door….they’ve got a pretty serious game going on“.  
  
“So let’s go and check them out” Sam said eagerly as he turned to walk away.  
  
Dean put his arm tentatively on his younger sibling’s shoulder. “Wait Sammy. We need to be patient. We can’t just go in full force, we need to suss out their tactics first of all, get a feel of their game from a distance….and then…..then we go in” he said as he sat down on a bar stool and made himself comfortable. He kept his eyes discreetly on the group of men playing pool in the far corner.  
  
Following his brother’s lead, Sam made himself comfortable on a stool next to the bar. He tapped his fingers impatiently on the bar top and clicked his tongue as he looked around the crowds for people, looking for something or someone to focus on. “So….what now?”.  
  
“Just wait….drink your beer….and wait” Dean lectured.  
  
Sam took hold of his bottle of beer and brought it up to his mouth, just for show, he had no intention of taking a sip. They sat in silence for a good few minutes until Dean slammed down his empty bottle of beer and signalled for another one.   
  
“Come on Sammy. Just follow my lead” Dean said getting to his feet and tapping his younger brother on the shoulder.  
  
The younger hunter slid off the bar stool and nervously followed his brother, keeping up the pretence that he genuinely wasn’t good at this.  
  
The group of people playing pool were coming to an end of a game. Dean sidled up next to one of the female’s that were accompanying the men and gave his best smile while he sipped casually from his bottle of beer. “Alright, sugar?”.  
  
The long-legged brunette chewed on her bubble gum and blew out a bubble and let it pop. She smiled and rubbed her finger across her lip to correct her lipstick.   
  
Dean moved closer to the brunette and draped his arm lazily across the top of her shoulder. “Is this a private affair or can anyone join in?” he drawled, using his silk-smooth voice for effect.  
  
Sam felt the green eyed monster inside him rise to the surface. This was just a ploy by his brother to gain trust from the group, he knew that, but it didn’t stop his jealously or him melting from the soft sound of his brother’s enticing voice even though it wasn’t directed towards him. He kept his distance until his brother gave his signal.  
  
“Well that depends……on whether you can play pool or not?” the brunette asked, finally speaking.  
  
Dean mock-blushed and lowered his head for just a second. He took another swig of beer and put the half-empty bottle down on the corner of one of the pool table’s. “Not exactly……but I’m sure you could teach me? I‘m a fast-learner”.  
  
One of the men from the group turned to look at the older hunter and eyed him up suspiciously.  
  
“I’m Carrie” the brunette said as she held out her hand invitingly to be shook.  
  
“Tom” Dean said as he took the woman’s hand and gently laid a kiss on it.  
  
Carrie took one of the pool cue’s in her hand and timidly ran her perfectly manicured fingers up and down the length of it. She held it out to the older hunter. “You’ll need one of these”.  
  
Dean took hold of the cue and wrapped his fingers around it and held it poised in an awkward position. “Am I holding it correctly?”.  
  
The brunette smiled amusedly at the hunter’s attempt. She moved up behind him, pushing her frame up against his and thrusting her voluptuous breasts that were threatening to spill out of her top, in his face. “It’s more like this” she said as she wrapped her hands around the hunters and moved them into the correct position. “You now need to line up the cue ball with the ball that you want to hit. Let’s go with this one” she said bowing her head low and pointing with a free finger to a ball that was just covering the pocket on the opposite end of the table.  
  
Sam shuffled his feet awkwardly on the spot as he watched his brother’s interaction with the cheap brunette. He watched Dean strike the cue ball a little too abrasively which caused it to flick up and bounce off in the opposite direction, scuffing the material on the table.  
  
“Oops…..I think I hit it a little too hard!” Dean said apologetically as he turned his head in mock-shame.  
  
Carrie put her hand on Dean’s again and curled her fingers around it. “That’s alright, try again. Just take your time, focus and gently tap it” she said as she kept her hands on the cue and guided the cue stick so that it tapped the cue ball and sent a ball rolling into the pocket.  
  
The older hunter grinned manically and punched the air with his free fist. “You’re a pretty good teacher, do you know that?” he said turning his attention back to the brunette.  
  
“How about you try yourself ” the brunette suggested as she walked around the pool table and set up the balls again ready for a shot.  
  
Dean studied the balls in front of him. This was an easy shot for him so he struggled to control the smirk that was forming on his face, to keep up the pretence. He tilted the stick at too severe an angle which failed to hit the cue ball in the correct place. He let out a string of swear words and slammed the pool stick down on the floor.  
  
The brunette laughed and flicked her hair back off her face before circling the older brother. “Easy tiger. Relax, just try again!” she encouraged.  
  
Subtly looking over at his brother, Dean fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out $10 and set it down in the middle of the pool table. “How about we spice things up a little bit. If I get this in, I get to keep my money, but if I fail, then you’ll be $10 richer”.  
  
“You’re on” Carrie said as she reached out for the money and took hold of it. “I may as well take hold of it now, because there’s no way that you’re going to make that shot!”.  
  
Dean smacks his lips together in amusement at the irony. “You’re that sure that I’m going to miss?”. He chalked the end of the cue stick casually.  
  
Carrie just smiled shyly as she twirled a part of her chocolate coloured strands of hair around her finger.  
  
“Fine!” the older hunter said as he bent over the pool table and re-took his try. This time he applied much less force and the cue stick barely made contact with the ball. He sighed heavily, exaggerating his mock frustration.  
  
Laughing, the brunette carefully put the $10 note down the front of her top safely as she shrugged her shoulders.  
  
“Okay….wait, wait…..” Dean protested as he pulled out more money from the inside pocket of his jacket. “Double or nothing says that I get the next one!”.  
  
“I think that you’re wasting your time here sweetie!” Carrie said as she rolled her eyes.   
  
Sam stepped forward and intervened and laid some money down on the table. “This might sweeten the pot a bit”. This got the attention of some of the other players on the next table down to them who started to show an interest.   
  
Dean pretended to be taken aback by his brother’s intervention. “Okay buddy, you’re prepared to lose that money, right?”.  
  
“Dude, you suck, you should really give it up right about now” the younger hunter chastised. “I’m definitely getting my money back, plus some, I’m not worried in the slightest”.  
  
Chalking his cue once again, the older sibling leant over the pool table and lined the cue stick up perfectly against his selected ball. “I’m telling you, third time lucky, for sure”. At the last second, he off-angled the cue stick a fraction and the ball rolled just short of the pocket.  
  
Sam laughed and rolled his eyes, playing along with the act. His brother could do that shot with his eyes closed. He reached out and picked up all of the money off the table. “Seriously dude, give it up and go home!”.  
  
Making sure he had the full attention of the people on the surrounding tables, the older hunter looked pleadingly at them. “One game. Winner takes all”.  
  
Carried scoffed. “I don’t think that’s a good idea! Come on guys, let’s get out of this dump” she said as she flicked her hair behind her head and turned on her heels.  
  
Dean took his keys from his jacket pocket and slammed them down onto the table, causing the brunette to spring back around to look. “These keys are for that sweet Chevy Impala ‘67 out front. She’s a classic, check her out, that’s what I’m going to bet!”.  
  
Even though Sam knew how good his brother was, betting his pride and joy was a risky gamble. Should he intervene before it gets out of hand? Looking into the blond hunter’s green orbs, he sought reassurance and gave his brother a subtle smile.  
  
The male leader of the group leered back at the older hunter. “Do you really wanna do this? Once we accept this, it’s an iron clad contract, no pulling out!”.  
  
Dean just nodded his head. “Sounds good to me, bring it on bitch!”.  
  
A crowd had started to gather around the table and had sparked interest and attention from other people. The man smiled and whispered into the brunette’s ear and then planted a kiss to her neck. “It’s a deal” he said as he pulled out a wad of notes and started to count out the money until he landed on $1500 which he put down next to the key chain.  
  
“So which one of you jerks am I going to have the pleasure of playing then?” Dean said arrogantly.  
  
“Carrie here is the best that we’ve got on the team. She’s unbeatable” the tallest man of the group said. “Do you really think that you’re going to beat her? She can wipe the floor with cocky losers like you! I’ll not only get my money back but I’ll get a sweet ride as a bonus!”.  
  
“Let’s see how much I’ve learnt from you then, sugar!” Dean said as the brunette took her bubble gum out of her mouth and stuck it to the underside of the pool table.  
  
“You go baby” the leading male of the group said as he kissed his lover squarely on the lips, and sucked on them tenderly as his hands moved up and down her body.  
  
Sam’s nerves couldn’t take it, so he pulled up a chair next to the table and sat down making himself comfortable.   
  
Dean stuck his nose up at the nauseating display of public affection and cleared his throat. “Okay, there’s a time and a place for that and besides, didn’t you already eat an hour ago?”.  
  
Carrie released herself and straightened up her clothes. “Fine then, let’s go. I’ll let you break because you’re going to need all the help and head starts that you can get!”.  
  
Dean set up the balls and pulled the rack away. Aiming for the ball that he wanted, he struck the cue perfectly, which dispersed the balls across the table just as he had hoped. “Wow! I hit the balls! You’re an awesome teacher! Your turn!” he smirked back.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
After giving Carrie a head start, Dean had upped his game and had pocketed ball after ball until he was on his last ball, whilst the brunette still had two balls remaining.  
  
“I’ll give it to you, you’re not doing too badly for an amateur!” the pretty brunette praised mockingly. But your string of luck is about to run out”. Bending over the table she quickly potted her ball until they were break even.  
  
Dean laughed. “I wouldn’t get too cocky. If I get this, I win” he said as he quietly analysed how he was going to set up his shot. It would be tricky, but he knew that if he thought it through first, he could get it in, in one clean shot. He circled around the table until he stopped and then stooped low.  
  
The corners of Carrie’s mouth turned into a smile as she showed her amusement. “Are you sure that you want to do that?”.  
  
“Oh yeah, I’m sure” Dean said he bowed down, and aimed the cue.  
  
“Baby….get ready, we’re going to be driving off into the sunset in just a minute” Carrie said to her lover who was glued to her side and whispering words of encouragement into her ear.  
  
Looking over to his brother gave Dean the final surge of confidence he needed to make the shot as Sam smiled back. The cue stick hit the cue ball and struck the ball at the correct angle which sent it hurtling into the pocket.  
  
“Son-of-a-bitch!” Carrie shouted out as she threw her cue stick down in surrender.  
  
Rubbing his hands together in delight, Dean quickly scooped up the keys and the money from the table and shoved them into the deep pockets in his jacket. “Well, nice doing business with you” he said as he moved closer to the brunette and started to kiss her on the lips for a few moments, ignoring the horrified glances from her lover. He pulled away and wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. “Come on Sam, let’s get outta here” he said gesturing to his brother.  
  
The tall, burly man walked over to the pair of hunters as intimidating as he could. “You bastard! You screwed us over! I want my money back! And that was my girl you were kissing!”.   
  
“It’s, uh, it’s iron clad, right, our contract? You can’t get out of it? Isn‘t that what we agreed on?” Dean mocked.  
  
“A re-match” the man pleaded desperately.  
  
Dean led his brother away from the confrontation. “Sorry buddy, there’s no way I’m betting that amount of money even though I know I could kick your ass, or hers for that matter!”.  
  
Sam looked over at his brother as they moved through the crowd quickly and left the bar through the back door where the Impala was waiting for them so they could make a get-away. “That was pretty awesome Dean!”.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I know! Now get in the car before they have a chance to catch up with us” the older hunter said as he opened the driver seat door and slid in, slamming it shut behind him. He turned the key in the ignition and accelerated away from the bar, the adrenaline spurring him into action.  
  
“Dean, you bet the keys to the Impala? Really, are you crazy? Supposing you had lost?” Sam said as he shifted around in the passenger seat awkwardly.  
  
“I never lose. And besides, do you think I’d honestly bet the keys to the Impala? I’d never do that to you baby” Dean said as he stroked the dashboard of his pride and joy.  
  
Sam looked confused and nodded his head. “But, you put the keys down on the table.”  
  
“You mean these keys?” the blond hunter said as he pulled out the keychain from his pocket. “They’re the keys to our motel room. Not my fault the guy was too wasted to notice!”  
  
The younger sibling gasped in shock and burst out laughing. “1500 dollars, that’s going to buy us a decent room and food later on!”.  
  
Dean licked his lips in delight and pulled out something else from his pocket- a wallet, which he handed over to the other hunter. “That’s not all…..”.  
  
The younger hunter opened the unfamiliar wallet to find a stash of money, adding up to a sizeable amount, along with some bogus credit cards. “Dean? Did you……is that?”.   
  
“Yep!” the older hunter said proudly as he relaxed back into the drive. “I swiped the wallet. Let’s just say I knew where she kept it”.  
  
Sam laughed. “That’s sneaky, real sneaky”.  
  
“I know! So where do you wanna go next Sammy?” Dean asked as he switched the radio on and started flicking through the channels to find his rock station.  
  
“I want steak. Lots and lots of steak. And garlic dough balls” Sam said as his cravings suddenly surfaced.  
  
Dean almost salivated at the excellent choice of cuisine from his partner in crime. “Well, we’re just in luck. There’s a sign for a steakhouse in 30 miles!”.  
  
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Sam awoke one morning as the sun began to shine through their Motel window. He had slept really well the past few nights as they had made the most of their stolen credit cards and booked themselves into a reasonably priced room. The mattress was divine and moulded into his back and the bed sheets smelled freshly washed and looked visibly clean.  
  
The bed next to him was empty and hadn’t been slept in. His brother had obviously gone out for the night and not come back yet. Wanting to make the most of the peace and quiet, he got up out of bed and strolled into the airy bathroom with proper running hot water- and plenty of it. After immersing himself under the shower he stepped out and began to dry himself as he reached for his clothes.  
  
He paused when his hand ran over the beginning’s of a small bump. He studied it intently and felt perturbed by its presence. Stepping back he turned sideways and looked at his profile in the mirror, running his hands around the diameter. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, he grabbed his jeans and pulled them up hastily. He had to breath in and suck his stomach in to do up the zipper and fasten the button at the top. This helped considerably to conceal his growing frame. Putting on his t-shirt and shirt he fiddled around with the buttons. By the time he had finished adjusting his clothes, he was happy that he had managed to cover his condition up sufficiently.  
  
As he emerged from the bathroom, the door to their room swung open and his older brother staggered in- fresh no doubt from his latest act of debauchery. The older hunter emptied his pockets and threw down bundles of notes.  
  
“Dean? Where’ve you been? Your bed hasn’t even been slept in!” Sam started to chastise his brother the second he walked in through the door.  
  
Dean flopped down on the bed and climbed in under the bed sheets after he’d emptied his pockets. “Not now Sammy….can we do this later? Need to sleep….” he said as he nestled his head into the pillow and closed his eyes.  
  
Sam gathered up the money and put it down on the table in a neat pile. “Where did all of this money come from?” he asked as he rifled through the discarded belongings for any clues.  
  
“Just a bit of poker….” the older hunter muffled from underneath his pillow.  
  
Seeing red, the younger hunter blew a fuse. “You gambled some of our money away?!”  
  
“Yeah? But I doubled it, so what’s the problem? Besides we won it, it‘s not like we worked too hard to earn it!” Dean said as he opened one eye and spoke tiredly.  
  
The pregnant brother’s hormones kicked up another notch. “The problem is, you being so irresponsible! Money is always tight and we need every cent we’ve got! We need to save for the future!”.  
  
Dean rolled over onto his front and yawned exhaustedly. “What are you on about……?” he asked as the sentence tapered off as he started to drift off to sleep.  
  
“You’re not even listening to me……I’m going out for a walk…….let me know when you’ve grown up” Sam said as he fought hard to stop himself from breaking down in tears. He didn’t even know the reason behind his over-reaction.  
  
The older hunter was half-asleep and hadn’t really heard his brother storm out of the Motel room and slam the door behind him.  
  
Clutching the money in his hands, suddenly Sam knew exactly what he needed to do. Find the nearest bank and deposit the money into a savings account. It wasn’t a substantial amount, but it would be enough to get him started.  
  
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After catching up on some sleep and sleeping off the effects of the alcohol, the older brother woke up and got up out of bed groggily. He vaguely remembered arguing with his brother yet again and tried to focus his mind to recall the events. Just when he was about to consider going to find his brother, Sam made his grand entrance through the door.  
  
“You’re awake” Sam stated obviously. He wasn’t giving anything away in his tone of voice or on his face.  
  
Dean ran his hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m not really sticking to my side of the bargain am I. I’m meant to be showing you an example”.  
  
Sam just shrugged his shoulders and put down the brown paper bag that he was carrying. He removed his coat and went to sit down on the bed. “I got us some lunch. It should still be warm if you tuck in now. I‘ve already eaten mine”.  
  
The older brother walked over to the table and peered curiously into the paper bag. “An Italian sub? That’s my favourite, thank you”.  
  
“No problem” the younger hunter said distractedly as his phone started to beep, signalling the arrival of a text message. He pulled the cell from his jeans pocket and opened up the message.   
  
“I’m an ass and yet you still look after me” the older sibling said as he took a satisfying bite of the oozing sandwich.  
  
The pregnant brother forced a smile. “Yeah well you’re still my brother at the end of the day, I’m kinda stuck with you” he said before his facial expressions turned into a frown.  
  
Dean picked up on his brother’s sudden anxiety. “What’s up? You’re staring at that message like it‘s about to jump up and slap you in the face”.  
  
Sam sat up and re-read the message. “It’s dad’s old cell…..I keep it charged and carry it around from time to time….you know….”.  
  
“I miss him too as well” the blond hunter said solemnly as he sat down next to his brother. “I miss hearing his voice and listening to him bark orders down the phone for me to dis-obey. Hell I was always locking horns with that man, but damn do I miss him. I can’t began to describe how I feel knowing that he’s still down there in hell….and that I’m a free man……”.  
  
“Please……don’t……” the young hunter said as he shook his head. He had never quite gotten over the fact that he never had the chance to say goodbye to his father properly. There was so many things that he wanted to say to him. They had been each other’s rock back then and nothing had changed. They both needed each other even now, probably even more than ever as they both battled with their inner demons. He quickly brought the subject back to the present. “It’s a message from one of dad’s old friends. He needs our help” he said handing over the cell.  
  
Putting down his sandwich, the older sibling took the cell phone and began to read the message. “Hhmm….sounds like we’ve got another werewolf on our hands. Up for it?”.  
  
Sam felt like he needed another distraction so he readily agreed. “Hell yeah, sign me up! Let‘s hit the road”.  
  
Dean laughed at his brother’s sudden enthusiasm. “Woah keep your panties on Samantha, at least let me finish my sandwich first” he said taking a mouthful. His eyes scanned the room for a second and realised that something was missing. “Where’s all the money Sammy?”.   
  
The younger brother looked back wistfully at his brother. “I’ve put it in a safe place, for emergencies only”. It wasn’t a total lie.  
  
“You were always the sensible one. I mean you were really anal about your pocket money. You used to save all of your allowance up and spend it on something sensible. Man, I used to run down to the shops and blow all of mine in one go on candy the second dad gave it to me” the older brother said amusedly in recollection of the memory.  
  
Sam smiled. “Yeah you used to go running to dad when your allowance had gone and I still had loads left. I remember you stealing some of mine and then buying loads of candy which you demolished in one go and then throwing up on dad’s shoes. If my memory serves me correctly, he grounded you for like a week and tanned your ass”.  
  
Dean laughed and rolled his eyes in shame. “Damn, didn’t think that you would remember that. You make me sound like a bad brother”.  
  
“No you weren’t…….not really….I looked up to you….I still do” Sam admitted freely.  
  
“What else do you remember?” Dean enquired inquisitively as he moved closer to his sibling.  
  
“Loads of things. You where the one who taught me to tie up my shoelaces and how to brush my teeth properly. When I used to get scared at night when dad went away, you used to snuggle up to me and tell me that I didn’t need to be scared because you were there, guarding the door, protecting me” the younger hunter reminisced. “I always felt safe when I was with you”.  
  
The older hunter blushed at the sentiments. He remembered how he used to comfort his younger brother and reassure him even though he was petrified himself. Not for his own safety but for his brother’s . “I used to keep my old .59 under my pillow……” he scoffed.  
  
Sam got up from the bed and wandered aimlessly over to the mini fridge and pulled out a cold bottle of water and took a sip to lubricate his dry throat. “You taught me courage and respect and bravery. You were so young yourself and you were the one that practically brought me up. I am what I am today because of you. I used to idolise you Dean. I still do”.  
  
Dean felt a lump in his throat at his brother’s confession. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes for a few seconds to compose himself. “Wow, I don’t quite know what to say except that I hope I haven’t screwed you up too badly” he joked and then paused again. “You’ve grown up to be a fine young man and I’m proud of you…..so would mom be if she were here. And the way you’ve handled everything these past few months with the maturity that you have and trying to keep me grounded…I’m the one that should be idolising you Sammy”.  
  
Sam smiled sadly at his brother’s attempt to try and fix his wrongs. He tried to hide his face under his wispy bangs.  
  
“I’m really trying here, I really am, but I can’t just snap out of this and pretend like nothing has happened. I can’t stop the horrific nightmares and memories that haunt me every day. The night time is the worst, when everything is the most quiet. But I promise you that I’m really trying” Dean ended solemnly and full of remorse. “I’m glad that you’re here, because I don’t think that I can do this alone”.  
  
The younger hunter pushed his bangs out the way and tucked them behind his ears. He shifted closer to his brother and looked deep into the hazel-green orbs. “And I promise you that I’m not going anywhere. We are going to get you through this” he assured.  
  
Sighing and taking another bite from his half eaten sandwich, the older sibling finished his mouthful before speaking. “I know we will”. He looked down at his watch and squinted at the numbers on the dial. “How about we hit the road? If we’re going to make it there by sundown then we need to leave soon”.  
  
“Yeah! I’ll go and start packing the things into the trunk” Sam said as he sprung up from the bed like a spring recoiling, needing an excuse to suddenly leave the room for a few moments to gather up his thoughts.  
  
Dean sniffed heavily. “Okay…I’ll go and make myself a little more presentable- I look like crap. I dunno how you always look so fresh every morning” he said amusedly, bringing the tone back up from the despair and sadness.  
  
Something inside the pregnant brother screamed at him to tell his brother that he never, ever looked like crap and was fine just the way he was. Perfect, in fact- and you can’t improve on perfection. As he grabbed their belongings and headed out to the Impala, he relished in the harsh cold wind which slapped him across the face, like the cruel reality that reminded him that there was still no way he could leave his brother right now. He was vulnerable and if he left, who knows what he’d do to himself. If anything was to happen, he could never forgive himself. He wanted his baby to grow up with both of it’s fathers. Dean would know about the baby when the time was right- but that wasn’t right now. Not quite.  
  
As Dean stood under the hot cascading shower of water, he shed a single tear that just minutes ago he was so close to his brother yet again, but was unable to get any closer. Sam was the one person he was staying alive for- and the only thing that he had left to live for.  
[  
](http://rockondean.livejournal.com/22728.html)


	16. Chapter 16

As the Impala hurtled down the open highway in front of them, Dean slept off the rest of his hangover, whilst Sam was behind the wheel. His hand sub-consciously kept drifting down to his newly formed bump. He looked down and realised that his hand had lingered too long over his stomach. Looking over at his sleeping brother he suddenly withdrew his hand shamefully. As he thought about their baby growing inside of him, he did nothing to stop the grin that was spreading across the whole of his face. During the first leg of the journey he’d done some mental calculations in his head and realised that he was nearing the end of his first trimester and that his body would start to change rapidly soon.  
  
He reached over to the compartment in the driver’s door and retrieved his bottle of water. Popping the cap off, he drained the rest of the water, following the advice to keep well hydrated from the library books that he had managed to sneak off to read. Unfortunately this further increased his regular trips to the bathroom which he had also read was normal. Thanks to his pregnancy, they had already stopped 3 times in as so many hours, so he tried to take his mind off from needing to stop again.  
  
He wondered where his brother had been last night and which lucky woman had he assumingly fucked- his latest act of debauchery. This stirred an uneasy memory in his mind.  
  
 __  
John Winchester was away on a typical hunt, leaving his youngest son, as always, in the hands of his eldest. At 12 years old, Sam Winchester was very advanced and mature for his age, having had to grow up fast.  
  
He considered his brother as more of a father- someone that he looked up to, someone that he adored, loved and cherished with his heart and soul.  
  
One day, he had come home from school early and headed back to their Motel room. Upon opening the door, he could hear giggling coming from one of the bedrooms. After closing the door quietly, he followed the trail of discarded clothing which led right up to the closed door of the bedroom. Bending down, he picked up a bra and a satiny blouse. Out of curiosity, he opened the door until it was just ajar and peered in through the gap.  
  
Lying on top of his brother was a young woman, around the same age as his brother. “Come on Dean, fuck me harder, you’ve been begging me for it all day. Tell me how much you want it” she said rocking her hips back and forth.  
  
16 year old Dean wrapped his arms around the young red-head and held her closer as he continued thrusting. “You’re doing so good….I’m going to take you higher baby…..going to look after you”.  
  
Sam suddenly felt a hidden emotion bubble to the surface on hearing his brother reassure his lover and to see him hold someone else close like that other than him. He wasn’t sure , but he thought that it had to be envy and jealousy at the thought of sharing his brother with someone else. He wanted Dean to save all of his affections and love for him- and only him.  
  
The red-head began to scream out and pant breathlessly as she climaxed, just as Dean had grunted and reached the peak of his own orgasm. “That. Was. So. Good” she breathed. “I feel safe with you….”.  
  
It was like this stranger was voicing the younger Winchester’s thoughts. As he watched how gentle his brother was with the young girl, he realised that they were growing apart. His brother was growing up fast and he now had other needs, needs that he alone couldn’t fulfill. As he watched, teary eyed, he leant his head against the doorframe in frustration, which caused it to make a loud thump.  
  
Dean leapt up from the bed and saw his brother peering through the gap in the door. “Shit! Sammy! What the hell are you doing home so early!” he asked as he grabbed the bed sheets and wrapped it around the lower half of his body up to cover his modesty.  
  
Sam moved away from the door quickly and started to break down in tears.  
  
“Wait, Sam, I’m not angry at you. Honestly, I’m not!” Dean reassured as he went after his little brother before he tried to leave.  
  
“You’re not?” Sam said as he fought hard to stem the flow of tears.  
  
“Of course I’m not. You just caught us….me…by surprise that’s all” the older Winchester said as he wiped his brother’s eyes with the corner of the bed sheet bending down to his level.  
  
“What’s she doing here?” Sam asked bitterly. “Are you going to go off and marry her and leave me here by myself?”.  
  
Dean shook his head and pulled his brother close to him, locking him in a bear hug. “No Sammy, of course not. I’m not going to leave you…..I promise”.  
  
Sam sniffed again. “You were hugging her” he said, his envy getting the better of him.  
  
“Yeah….but I wasn’t giving her my special Sammy hug. That’s reserved only for you” the older brother promised.  
  
“Okay…….” Sam said cheering up.  
  
Dean released his younger sibling from his grip. “How about we go out and get pizza, yeah?”.  
  
The youngest Winchester’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Can we get ice-cream too?”.  
  
“Anything you want, we’ll go and get it” Dean said. “Just let me put some pants on okay?”.  
  
Sam nodded happily. His happiness was short lived for a few seconds as he saw his brother go back over to the young girl and whisper into her ear causing her to giggle.   
  
The red-head quickly gathered up her things and left the bedroom in one of Dean’s old t-shirts. She ruffled the younger sibling’s hair on the way past. “Aaw he’s cute. So I’ll see you again sometime. And I’ll hold you to it” she said as she blew a kiss over to Dean.   
  
As she left, Sam did nothing to hide his dislike at the girl who was fighting with him for his brother’s affections. He narrowed his eyes and pouted until she left the Motel room.  
  
Dean came out of the bedroom and smiled at his brother, displaying a beautiful post-coital glow. “Come on then champ, let’s go”.  
  
  
When the Impala bounced over a pot hole in the road, it brought Sam back to the present. He couldn’t put the inevitable off for any longer and pulled over at the next gas station. He prayed that his brother would stay asleep for a few more minutes, but he must have some sort of built in radar that made him wake up as soon as the car came to a halt.  
  
Dean stretched his arms up over his head, grazing them across the velvety lining on the inner roof of the car. “We’ve stopped again? We’re never going to get there before sunset”.  
  
The younger hunter frowned and cursed silently to himself. Un-clicking his seatbelt he opened up the passenger door. “Yeah. I’m just heading to the rest room, I won’t be a minute”.  
  
“Dude, again?” Dean questioned as he raised an eyebrow.  
  
Biting down on his lip, Sam tried to stay calm. “Yes, again. I can’t help it! It’s not my fault, besides are you keeping count or something?!”.  
  
“Hey, it was only an observation! Look if you’re heading that way anyway can you get me some pie?” the older hunter asked smirking as he held out some money.  
  
Sam took the money and got up out of the car. “Fine. I’ll be as quick as I can!” he said rushing off to the restroom.  
  
Returning a few minutes later, the younger sibling slid back in behind the wheel and handed his brother the steaming hot pie.  
  
“Man this actually looks quite good” Dean said as he grabbed the plastic fork and started to tuck into his treat. He looked over at his brother and screwed his face up at the unusual choice of snack. “Dude, what the frig are those?”.  
  
“Pickles. Want one?” Sam asked as he held the open jar out to his brother.  
  
Dean gagged and groaned. “Dude that’s gross, get them away from me. And don’t spill any on the upholstery for God sake’s, the smell will never come out”.  
  
Popping a pickle into his mouth, the pregnant brother tried to muffle a satisfying moan as his very sudden, and very random craving was fulfilled. Whilst he was queuing to get the pie, he suddenly desired something sharp and the pickles looked divine. “What’s wrong with them?” he asked as he chomped down on the crunchy pickle.  
  
“They’re pickles, that’s what the hell is wrong with them! And since when have you eaten them?” Dean said as he turned his attention back to his pie, inhaling the aroma of that instead.  
  
Sam shrugged his shoulders. “Since now, I guess! I can’t believe I’ve never tried them before”. He looked down at his packet of cheesy nachos. He had an uncontrollable yearning to mix them up with the pickles, but he thought that would raise more questions with his brother. He decided that he would save that for later on when he could indulge himself later on in private and truly enjoy it and savour the taste.  
  
Rolling his eyes, Dean mocked his brother. “You’ve always been a strange one Sammy! Anyway, you ready to hit the road again?” he asked affectionately.   
  
“Yeah…..” the younger hunter said as he closed the lid of his precious pickles and laid them rest on the back seat. Reaching over for his seat-belt he brought it round over his front.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t need to pee again?” Dean joked, laughing at his own humour.  
  
“Nope……” Sam said confidently as he fiddled with the key in the ignition.  
  
Dean continued his friendly banter. “We’ve got another 150 miles to go…..are you sure you’re going to be able to hold it all that way?”.  
  
Sam pondered it for a few moments, shifted awkwardly on his seat and then forcefully un-did the clasp on his seatbelt. “Aaw hell…..I do now. Thanks a bunch. You’re a friggin’ jerk sometimes you know that?” he said as he got out of the car and headed to the men’s restroom again.  
  
The older hunter laughed cheerfully to himself as he gave his pie his full attention that it deserved. For a cheap road-side gas station, it wasn’t half bad.  
  
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They reached the local sheriff’s office in plenty of time, well before it was due to get dark. They wanted to check out the body to confirm their suspicions that it was indeed a werewolf attack, before they went in all guns blazing- or to be more precise, armed specifically with silver bullets.  
  
Sam pulled at his suit jacket to try and stretch the material so that it didn’t sit so tight over his stomach. He deliberately chose the black one to try and flatter his figure somewhat. He knew that he was just being paranoid, right now it was just a few extra pounds. Keeping his arms folded over the lower part of his stomach he made a mental note to buy the next size up for when he got bigger.  
  
“Quit fiddling with your jacket dude. We’re federal agents, right, so try to act like you belong here. Don’t be so nervous, you’ll give the game away” Dean advised his brother when he saw how he fidgeting around in his suit. “I don’t like wearing this crap anymore than you do”.  
  
The younger sibling put his hands down comfortably by his sides. He figured that he would just walk behind his brother instead. “Sorry. It doesn’t matter how many times we do this, it still feels wrong. Hell it is wrong, so illegal”.  
  
“Come on Mr Sunshine, we’ve not got long before the freaks come out and play and we’ve still got the see the body” the older hunter said enthusiastically as he prompted his brother.  
  
On entering the small poky office and making themselves known by flashing their ID‘s, they were then led into a much larger room- effectively a morgue.  
  
“Dr. Martin? The feds are here” the sheriff declared to the doctor who was up to his elbows in body parts.  
  
The doctor looked up and took note of the ID’s being flashed in front of his eyes. “Thank you Sheriff” he said to the middle-aged man as he closed the door behind him.  
  
“I have to say, I’m surprised the feds are taking an interest in this. But it is a strange one” the doctor said as he took off his gloves and apron and put on fresh ones.  
  
Dean smiled. “Yeah, well, we’re not you’re average feds. We have more of an open-mind than most people. So can we see the body of the victim that was brought in last night?”.  
  
“Okay, but it’s kinda icky if you’re not used to it, so prepare yourselves” the doctor said as he uncovered the mutilated body that had been ripped to shreds.   
  
Sam’s stomach lurched violently at the sight before him. Apparently the baby wasn’t quite done in making his stomach suffer. He could feel the pickles burning in the back of his throat. He tried as discreetly as possible to look away and hold his breath whilst he took control of the sudden nausea. Luckily his brother was too immersed in studying the body to notice.  
  
“So, have you got any clues as to how this happened?” the blond hunter enquired.  
  
The doctor scratched his head in bewilderment. “Nope, beats me. My best guess is an animal attack. But it’s just very strange, like I said. Because the victim’s heart has been ripped clean from the body”.  
  
Bingo. That there was their confirmation.  
  
The younger hunter tried not to picture that in his head. When he felt the wave of nausea start to subside he turned to look at his brother, trying to block out everything else from view. “Okay, thank you doctor. I think that we’ve got all that we need here” he said as he started to walk towards the door.  
  
Dean paused and then started to follow his brother. “Thank you doctor” he said signalling goodbye.  
  
As soon as they were outside, Sam inhaled the fresh air deeply to push the residual nausea from his body.  
  
“Dude! Wait up, what’s the hurry?” the older hunter enquired breathlessly as he’d had to run to keep up with his taller brother’s strides.  
  
Sam ran his hand over his face. “Nothing. You know I’ve never really liked that side of things. You seem to have an iron stomach. Besides, we got our confirmation that it was a werewolf attack, no point in hanging around any longer. So what next?” he asked trying to change the subject.  
  
Resting against the hood of the Impala, the older brother un-did the top button on his shirt and loosened his tie. “We wait and when we see it, we shoot it. Send a silver bullet straight through the suckers heart” he said callously. “The lunar cycle fits perfectly, so I say tonight’s the night”.  
  
The taller brother un-tucked his shirt from his pants, making him feel less restrictive. He un-did a couple of the buttons on his jacket. “Let’s get ourselves booked into what ever passes as a Motel around here. Plus I’m famished” he said as his stomach had changed it’s mind and now decided that food was a priority. This baby was definitely Dean’s.  
  
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The Impala pulled up outside a Motel advertising rooms for $30 a night. The brothers took their bags from the trunk and slung them over their shoulders as they approached the bored looking teenager on the front desk. She was chewing on her gum rather enthusiastically. “Yeah?”.  
  
Sam spoke to the adolescent. “Can we book a room for the night?”.  
  
She just rolled her eyes and opened up the small wooden box beside her and pulled out a key and handed it over, whilst holding out her other hand for some form of payment.  
  
Dean pulled out a card from his wallet depicting his latest pseudo-name. “Visa okay with you?”.  
  
“Yeah…..” the teenager said as she took the card and swiped it through the machine and sighed as if she’d been asked to do something out of the ordinary.  
  
“So do you live around here?” the older hunter asked her, trying to make conversation whilst the payment was going through.  
  
The machine beeped and printed out the receipt. The girl at the desk handed it over for Dean to sign. “Look mister, no offence, but I’m not really the chatty type. This place is a dump. I’m just holding down the fort until my mom gets back from the store. Have a nice stay…..Mister Perry” she said looking at the card before handing it back to her customer and giving him a mock smile.  
  
Scoffing, Dean accepted the card back and put it back in his wallet. He looked at the room number on the key. “So….number 12 is….?”.  
  
“Next to number 11” the teenager said sarcastically before she put her headphones back into her eyes, signalling that she had already done her job and gone above and beyond her call of duty.  
  
“Helpful, thank you” Dean replied loudly. “What a charming young lady she was” he said sarcastically as he led them down the corridor until finally reaching the room that they needed. He put the key in the lock and after some force, it turned and the door swung open, the hinges dangerously rusty and brittle. “Awww man, just when I thought I’d gotten rid of the smell of mothballs….” he complained as the smell assaulted them on entering the room.  
  
Sam however had spotted a different problem as he walked around the room. “Uh, there’s only one bed. She must have thought that we were together……I mean like a couple…” he said, wishfully hoping himself that it was true.  
  
Dean tried to act nonchalant, but inside his heart had started racing at the prospect of being able to be close to his brother and having a valid reason. “Yeah, I get it” he said trying to compose himself after his brother had used a reference about the two of them as a couple. “We’re grown adults. We can share a bed, right?”.  
  
“Yeah sure we can. It’s not like we’ve never done it before” the younger Winchester replied un-comfortably. “Just to warn you, if you snore, I’m going to keep kicking you until you stop”.  
  
“I don’t snore!” the blond hunter protested his innocence.  
  
“Whatever” Sam laughed. He knew every little thing there was about his brother. Even the different ways he breathed in and out and the distinctive change of tone in his breath as he drifted off to sleep and then the delicious little sounds he made when he was asleep. Even his brother’s light snoring was reassuring to him.  
  
The older brother started to sort through his duffel bag and bag up their collection of silver bullets, filling the barrel of his favourite gun with them. “What are the chances that this place does a slap up meal, do you think?”.  
  
Sam screwed his face up in disgust at the thought. “I’m going to say that it’s pretty slim. Besides I think I saw a cockroach scurrying past the kitchen area as we came in so I wouldn’t risk it, the chances of catching something is too great. I think it’s safe to say this place sucks ass. No wonder that girl looked like she had lost the will to live. I‘m glad that card wasn‘t legit ‘cos there‘s no way this place is even worth 30 cents!”.  
  
“Well as soon as I’ve sorted the guns out we’ll head over to that snack bar I saw on our way in and then we’ll head to where I think their hunting ground is” the older brother suggested.  
  
Quirking an eyebrow, the pregnant brother shrugged his shoulders. “And how would you know where that is? It’s a big town Dean, plenty of places for the werewolves to come out and play!”.  
  
“Whilst you were trying to keep your stomach inside your body, I took a sneak peek at the reports on the body. Got the street name where it was found. Werewolves are like creatures of habit, they tend to choose a hunting ground and stick to it” the older brother explained, pleased that for once he was the one that was knowledgeable on a subject. He wanted to do something right for a change and make his brother proud.  
  
“You’ve done your homework, fair play to you. I’ll give you credit for that one. Not just a pretty face” Sam said before realising what he had said. He lowered his head in embarrassment.  
  
Dean didn’t know where to look for a second as he tried to hide his rapidly blushing cheeks. “Guns are ready. Let’s go” he said shooting up from the bed and swinging his duffel bag over his shoulder again swiped the Impala keys and the room key from the wobbly nightstand.  
  
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	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17  
  
The older brother looked at his watch as he was crouched down behind an abandoned car next to his brother, keeping a close eye on the alleyway that the victim of the werewolf attack had been found. “It’s got to be here” he whispered as he pulled his gun out from the back of his jeans and cocked it ready.  
  
Sam did the same with his. “I wish the sucker would really hurry up and show his ugly face”. He yawned tiredly. The long drive had just about finished him off and he yearned for sleep.  
  
“Oh he will. He’s just biding his time, I’m sure” Dean said, keeping the volume of his voice low as he looked up to the sky nervously at the perfectly rounded, full moon.  
  
A clanging noise broke the silence and echoed through the eerie alleyway spurring the cautious hunters into action by bringing their guns up in front of their faces. They were alert and ready to shoot at the first instance.  
  
A young woman cursed as she picked up her cell phone. She put it back into the safety of her bag and brought it back over her shoulder.  
  
“Hang fire. She doesn’t look much like a werewolf” Sam whispered as he stepped back into the shadows again.  
  
Suddenly, the woman let out a piercing scream as a figure appeared from the shadow, half-man, half-wolf, with piercing black eyes and razor sharp teeth and claws. He latched onto his victim and tried to pin her down.  
  
“Shit!” Dean said as he jumped up and aimed the gun at the beast.   
  
The werewolf looked up from the woman and latched his eyes onto the older hunter. Making the most of the opportunity, the scared young woman sat herself up and then managed to stand up on trembling knees.  
  
Sam leapt out from behind the car and waved his gun around in the air. His eyes met the terrified victim. “Go! Run to safety, please!” he begged.  
The woman was frozen on the spot for a few moments as she looked between the two hunters who had their guns locked onto the beast that had tried to attack her. She looked torn, but as the wolf howled she made the split second decision to run away from the dangerous threat. She made a fleeting gesture of gratitude to the two brothers before she disappeared out of sight.  
  
Dean quickly aimed the gun at the angry, hungry werewolf, but before he was able to pull the trigger, the super-human strength and agility of the beast kicked in and he made a leap over to him, knocking the hunter down and throwing him across the width of the alleyway and crashing into the metal waste cans. He cried out in pain as he felt bone crunch against metal.  
  
Sam shook as the beast then made a beeline for him, making him forget, for just a second that he was holding in his hands the one thing that would stop it in his tracks. The younger hunter found himself pushed violently up against the wall, the crushing weight of the beast pinning him down.  
  
The older hunter managed to stretch out his good arm and get hold of his weapon. “Hey, jackass!” he shouted loud to try and draw his attention away from his sibling.  
  
The werewolf turned around and leered at the armed hunter. He released Sam, letting him drop down and hit the ground.   
  
Without wasting another second, Dean pulled the trigger which sent a precious silver bullet flying through the air and piercing the beast right in the heart.  
  
The hunters watched as the werewolf howled and cried out in pain. They watched his body change from wolf back into human and then slump down, dead and still.  
  
Sam pushed himself upright to lean against the wall, and moaned in pain as he rubbed his bruised side, as he felt like he was almost winded. “Dean, are you alright?”.  
  
The older hunter groaned in pain as he tried to move his injured shoulder. Bringing his other arm up, he used it to support it. “My shoulder is dislocated and I might have cracked some ribs, but I’ll survive. How about you, are you injured?”.  
  
Getting to his feet, the pregnant hunter wobbled on the spot and he held out his hands to get his balance. He hissed as a pain shot down the side of his chest and down his left side. “Yeah, I’m fine”.  
  
Dean got to his feet, jarring his deformed shoulder as he stood. “Shit Sammy. You’re going to have to pop it back in for me”.  
  
The younger hunter tried not to break down in tears as another pain shot through his side. He rubbed at the spot. It was difficult to tell where the pain was coming from without examining himself properly. “No Dean. We’ll get you checked out in hospital properly”.  
  
“Hospital? We’ve had a lot worse happen to us and we’ve never been to the hospital” Dean said, wincing at the excruciating throbbing in his arm. He suddenly bent over and started to cough up blood. “They’ll just ask us awkward questions, it’s not worth the hassle” he said, his voice strained from the excruciating pain in his shoulder and ribs as he wobbled on the spot, feeling fainter by the second.  
  
“That’s not nothing. You don’t cough up blood for nothing. Please Dean, don’t be a stubborn ass. We‘ll just say that we got jumped by a couple of guys. That‘s not too far from the truth. Please, you‘re really hurt, please get yourself checked out” Sam pleaded as he ignored his own discomfort and went over to assist his injured brother helping him over to the Impala that was parked around the corner from the alleyway.  
  
The thought of some serious pain killers, coaxed the older hunter into agreeing. He let his sibling take his weight so he could concentrate on supporting his dislocated shoulder. “Keys are in my back pocket Sam” he said breathlessly, as he fought for breath.  
  
“Okay hang on” Sam said as he put his brother to lean over the side of the Impala so he could fish around in his brother’s back pocket.   
  
After retrieving them he opened up the door and his brother lowered himself down into the passenger seat. Sam then ran around to the driver’s seat and paused as he tried to stifle a strangled cry from the dull ache in his side.  
  
“If we’re going, then let’s go” Dean said breathlessly. He was suddenly gasping for breath and his chest felt like it was compressing his lungs, trying to force the air out of them. “Think one of my ribs has punctured my lung or something”.  
  
Sam turned his attention back to his injured brother and started up the ignition and started to speed off in the direction of the nearest hospital. “Okay….just hang on……” he pleaded for the benefit of the two people that he cared about the most in the in world.  
  
  
After booking in under false information and handing in their fake insurance cards, the two injured hunters didn’t have to wait long before they were called in to see the doctor, Dean’s worsening condition making them a priority.  
  
“Okay Mr….Tyler” the doctor said looking down at the older hunter’s chart and set of x-rays on his chest and shoulder. “It probably doesn’t come as too much of a surprise but there’s no doubt that your shoulder is dislocated. We’ll get some pain relief set up for you and we’ll re-locate it for you. Our first priority however is to re-inflate your lung and drain the blood, by putting in a chest drain. That’s the only way to treat your haemo-pneumothorax. As soon as we’ve done that, you’ll feel better very quickly”.  
  
Dean had already felt a tad better after being given an oxygen mask, even though every time he took a breath, it caused him extreme pain. He grimaced. “Don’t worry about the pain relief doc, I can handle it” he said putting on a brave face. “My brother was attacked too, you might as well give him the once over too”.  
  
Sam was still in shock and hadn’t spoke much since arriving in the hospital. His hand rubbed over the side of his stomach that had taken the brunt of the fall. His other hand went up to his forehead where he realised there was a bleeding wound. He’d been concentrating too much on his brother to pay much attention to himself.  
  
The doctor turned his attention to the younger brother. “That cut looks nasty” he said bringing his gloved hand up to touch it. “Let’s get you changed into a gown too so I can carry out a thorough examination” he said signalling to the nurse for assistance.  
  
Sam edged backwards as he wrapped his hands around his stomach. “No, it’s fine, I don’t need to be examined” he said anxiously as he tugged at his shirt to cover up his mid-section suddenly feeling self-conscious about his subtle weight gain.  
  
“Come on Sam, just let them do their job, you dragged me in here so the least you can do is get yourself examined too”. He suddenly got distracted by the nurse stabbing his uninjured arm with a needle ready to administer the much needed pain relief.  
  
Sensing that something wasn’t right with the younger brother’s unease, the doctor spoke quietly to him when Dean had his eyes closed as the needle pierced his skin. “How about I take you next door, give you some privacy”.  
  
Looking over at his brother cautiously, he nodded his head as his eyes started to glaze over. He was suddenly scared. If something was wrong with the baby, he didn’t know if he was going to be able to cope by himself.  
  
“I’ll give the pain relief a chance to kick in then I’ll be back to manipulate your shoulder” the doctor said to Dean. “I’m just going to take your brother next door. One of the other doctors are on their way to you to insert the chest drain”.  
  
Dean tried to relax back onto the trolley. He quite literally felt like he had been smashed across an alleyway by a pissed off werewolf. “Great” he said, spaced out as the pain relief started to work it’s magic. “I’m not going anywhere” he said lifting up his good arm to indicate the drip and the IV’s in his arm.  
  
The doctor led a dumb-struck Sam into an empty room next door to his brother. His focus had been to help his brother and get him to the safety of the hospital, and now it had turned to him and his unborn child.  
  
“Are you going to let me examine you now?” the doctor asked kindly as he locked the door to the room.  
  
Sam was no longer able to control his tears as he released the grip on his shirt and the side of his stomach. “I’m pregnant” he blurted out before the doctor could say or do anything else. “Please see if my baby’s okay” he begged.  
  
“And you don’t want your brother to know?” the doctor asked, un-phased by the scenario.   
  
The pregnant man just shook his head.  
  
“That’s okay. No-one else has to know. Come and lie down on the bed for me” he asked as he helped the hunter up onto the bed and un-buttoned his shirt.  
  
Sam ran his hand over the small bump sadly, inspecting himself for any signs of bruising or obvious trauma. “I’ve been looking after myself….doing everything that the books have told me to do……”.  
  
The doctor pressed around on his patient’s stomach. “I don’t doubt for a second that you haven’t. Does that hurt?” he asked as he pressed the hunter’s injured side.  
  
“Yeah, a little bit” the hunter admitted. “Is that bad?”.  
  
“I think you’ve just bruised your ribs and your hip bone. So how many weeks are you now?” the doctor asked.  
  
“Coming up to 13 weeks I think….” Sam said sadly. He had been looking forward to seeing his baby again, but not under these circumstances. He was scared.  
  
Smiling, the doctor reached for a stethoscope that was on top of a small table next to the bed. “In that case……we can use this…..” he said as he put one end on his patient’s stomach, moving it around and the other end in his ear.  
  
Swallowing nervously, the pregnant young hunter waited for a response. “What’s that for?”.  
  
The doctor didn’t answer straight away, he was straining his ears to listen through the earpiece. After a few seconds, he smiled as he removed the ear piece. He held it out to his patient. “Put that in your ear……” he prompted.  
  
Sam followed the instruction. He wasn’t sure what he was meant to be listening out for until he heard a faint, fast whoosing sound. “Oh my God…..is that……is that my baby?” he asked ecstatically as he started to cry again, this time from sheer relief and happiness.  
  
“Yep, that’s your baby’s heartbeat. 160 beats per minute, perfectly healthy. Your body is so good at protecting your baby, it’s surprising how it can handle a few knocks” the doctor stated.  
  
“It’s really okay?” Sam asked, as he kept the ear piece in place, needing more reassurance as he listened to the heart beating.  
  
The doctor closed the curtain around his patient to give him more privacy as he peered through a gap in the blinds. “Just give me a minute to get the machine and we’ll do an ultrasound to give you more reassurance and to scan the rest of your abdomen seeing as an x-ray is out of the question for you”.  
  
Sam allowed himself to relax back onto the bed as he continued to listen to the hypnotic sound of his baby’s heartbeat . His hand circled around his stomach protectively. There were no words to describe his relief. Before he knew it, the doctor had re-appeared, pulling in an ultrasound machine in behind him, taking care to lock the door behind him again.  
  
“Just to update you, your brother’s chest drain has been inserted and he’s breathing a lot better now. Let‘s check out your little one and then you can go back to see him” the doctor declared as he set the machine up and prepped his patients abdomen with the gel.   
  
“Thank you” the pregnant man said as he sighed with relief.  
  
“When was the last scan you had?” the doctor asked as he moved the transducer around on his patient’s stomach.  
  
Sam’s eyes were transfixed on the screen as he was waiting for a distinguishable image. “About 6 weeks ago”.  
  
“Okay……” the doctor said. “It’s going to have grown a lot since then. And there it is“ he said turning the screen around so that the pregnant man could see it more clearly. “It’s certainly very active…..”.  
  
“Really? Oh my God, it’s got little arms and legs now……wow. It looks like a proper little person.” Sam marvelled. “I can’t feel any movements yet……”.  
  
The doctor smiled reassuringly. “It’s still early days yet. You may start to feel little flutters in the next 6 weeks or so. You’ve both got a clean bill of health. I can’t see any internal bleeding from anywhere. But if the pain gets too much you’re allowed to take Tylenol, it‘s not going to harm the baby. I’ll get a nurse to stitch up the wound on your forehead then you can go back in to see your brother”.  
  
Sam brushed his hand lightly over his forehead. “Oh yeah…I forgot about that” he said when his hand came away bloody. His eyes focused onto the portable ultrasound machine. “Won’t Dean wonder why I’ve had to have an ultrasound?” he asked, panicked.  
  
“He’s pretty out of it at the moment on pain relief, but if he does, then tell him that I was checking you out for a ruptured spleen and signs of internal bleeding. That wouldn’t be a lie” the doctor explained. “Oh…and I take it that you want this?” he asked handing over a print-out of the scan.  
  
Taking it from the clinician, the pregnant hunter’s face softened again and he struggled to hold it together. “Yes, thank you”.  
  
The door opened and a nurse entered with a small trolley.   
  
The doctor turned to look at her. “I’ll leave you with Gwen” he said smiling kindly and leaving the room, dragging the ultrasound machine out behind him through the door.  
  
As the nurse stitched up his forehead, Sam sat still and kept his eyes on the new ultrasound picture until he took out his wallet and put it away safely in front of the older picture.  
  
“You’re all stitched up sweetie” the nurse declared a few minutes later as she removed her gloves and disposed of them.  
  
It took Sam a few seconds to register. “Thank you he said as he sat forward. He slowly buttoned up his shirt again and put his jacket back on. After composing himself for a few minutes, he went back next door to see how his brother was.  
  
Dean’s eyes were closed and there was a new addition to him- a chest drain and tube coming from the top part of his chest. There was blood pooling in the drain. His eyes fluttered open. “Sam?”.  
  
“Yeah, I’m here Dean!” Sam said as he moved quickly over to his brother.  
  
“Man, these drugs are pretty freaking awesome, you should really try them! Talk about trippy…..” the older hunter said groggily.  
  
“I’ll pass on them” Sam said laughing. He looked at his brother’s shoulder which seemed to look like it’s normal shape again. “What’s the prognosis then?”.  
  
“My lung has re-inflated and my shoulder is back where it should be, so I guess that I’ll live” Dean laughed but then regretted as he coughed and spluttered. “You all sorted?”.  
  
Sam erupted into a massive smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’ve got a clean bill of health”.  
  
Dean got his breath back and looked at his brother intensely. “Why do you look so happy?”.  
  
Before he could stop himself, the younger hunter wrapped his arms tightly around his brother. “We’re okay, everything is okay” he said as he closed his eyes and let a single tear drop down onto his brother’s shoulder. He moved one of his hands down to rest on his stomach. He could still hear the heartbeat resounding in his ears.  
  
“That’s great Sammy but could you let me go? Busted shoulder and broken ribs here” the injured hunter said through a strangled whine.  
  
“Oh God, I’m sorry so sorry” Sam said apologetically as he released his grip.  
  
“Jeez Sam, it’s fine, it’s only a popped shoulder and deflated lung. It’s all sorted now, I’m fine” Dean said. “You always were a drama queen. So anyway, when can we get out of here? Suddenly that bed-bug ridden bed seems so appealing right now”.  
  
Sam shook his head in disbelief. “You’re not serious, right? You’re injured and you need to stay in hospital”.  
  
“The hospital is for pussy’s and wimps” Dean complained.  
  
“And sick people…..” the younger sibling pointed out.  
  
Dean’s stubbornness continued. “I was sick, but now I’m better!” he said trying to convince his brother. He looked around and then lowered the tone of his voice. “C’mon man, I’ve literally been to hell and back and I never once saw a doctor then!”.  
  
The doctor entered the room and checked the older hunter’s chest drain. He placed a stethoscope on his chest and listened to both sides and tapped them. “Equal breath sounds on both sides. Sounds like your lung is back and working. We‘ll get an x-ray to confirm”.  
  
“Told you so Sam” Dean said. “I feel great now, thanks doc” he said taking off his oxygen mask. “So when am I getting discharged?”.  
  
“Woah now soldier” the doctor said as he laid his hand down on his patients good shoulder and gently pushed him back into the bed. “It’s going to take you a few weeks to recover from this. In the short term, you’ll need to stay in hospital for a few nights until the chest drain is clear”.  
  
Dean shook his head stubbornly. “Nuh, uh! A few nights? I don’t think so”. He got up out of bed and tried to stand before falling back down, his drugged up body making his knees go weak. The chest drain pulled at his skin. “Thanks for making me better, but I’m going”.  
  
The doctor frowned. “We can’t make you stay, but just so long as you know that it’s against our medical advice”.  
  
“I’m aware of that” Dean answered as he tried to de-tangle himself from the wires and lines from his arms. “I’m discharging myself. I‘ll sign anything you like”.  
  
Sam looked pleadingly at his brother. “Dean, please listen to the doctor”.  
  
“Okay. Just at least let me disconnect you from the drain and sew up the incision site properly. I’ll make sure that you’re given pain medication and a dose of antibiotics to make sure the wound doesn’t get infected. You’ll still need to rest the shoulder for a few weeks whilst the ligaments strengthen up and nothing too strenuous to give your lung a chance to recover” the doctor advised as he stopped the IV drip and pulled out the plastic tubing.  
  
“I’ll look after him and make sure that he gets plenty of rest and recuperation” Sam volunteered.  
  
The doctor laughed but remained serious. “Well that’s some consolation at least” he said as he pulled out the chest drain and adjusted the sutures on the wound and then finally covering it with a dressing. “I’ll go and get your discharge papers and meds and then if you’re still intent on leaving, you’re free to go”. The clinician left the two hunter’s alone again.  
  
Dean sighed. “I know what you’re going to say, so don’t start, please”.  
  
“Why are you in such a hurry to leave? I don’t understand” the younger sibling pondered.  
  
“Because it’s a hospital Sam. People die in here” Dean said solemnly.  
  
Sam moved closer to his brother. “People also get better in here”.  
  
“Dad didn’t” the older hunter said as he removed his hospital gown, taking his bad arm out first.  
  
“Here, let me help you” the younger brother said as he assisted in getting his injured brother dressed.   
  
Dean smiled gratefully. “Thanks Sam. I can always count on you. I know some people just don’t get me, but you do. You always understand me”.  
  
“That’s what brother’s are for Dean” Sam said shyly. “But you’re going to rest for a few days, do you promise me you’ll let me look after you?”.  
  
Nodding his head slowly, the older sibling agreed. “I guess I could let you fuss over me for a couple of days”.  
  
“Good” Sam said as he held out his arm for his brother to take.  
  
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	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18  
  
An hour later, the two hunters arrived back at their run-down Motel room. It was now 3am.  
  
“I can take it from here” Dean said as he released his grip from his younger brother and staggered over to the bed and flopped down a little too hard and flinched in pain as it jolted his shoulder.  
  
Sam went over to the sink in the bathroom and filled up a glass with water. “Here, take this and take your pills. The doctor said that the Vicodin should help you sleep too“, he said handing over the medication.  
  
The older hunter swallowed the pills down with the water. “Thank you” he said kicking off his shoes and then lying down on the bed. He sat up again and adjusted his shoulder in the sling and tried to arrange the pillows behind his back for better support.  
  
“Let me” Sam said as he intervened. He plumped up the pillows and then un-tucked the bed sheets from the corners and pulled them over his brother.  
  
“Thank you” Dean said genuinely.  
  
Sam took two of the pillows from the bed and threw them onto the floor. “Are you going to stay there on your own accord, or am I going to have to tie you down?” he asked pulling a blanket out of one of the drawers with no handle and throwing it down next to the pillows.  
  
Dean snuggled into the warmth of the bed. The medication and lack of sleep was finally catching up with him. “No, I don’t think that I’m going to go anywhere”. His eyes were drawn to the make-shift bed on the floor. “What are you doing?”.  
  
“Going to bed” the younger hunter said as he unfolded the blanket and spread it out on the floor.  
  
“You’re not sleeping on the floor, don’t be silly. Come to bed” Dean said as he patted the empty side of the bed. “Come on, we’ve already agreed that this wasn’t going to be an issue”.  
  
Sam hesitated on the spot. “But you’re hurt”.  
  
“So? So are you” the older hunter said shrugging his shoulders and then wincing in pain as he forgot about his shoulder. He closed his eyes as he gave into the sedating effects of the Vicodin.   
  
“I’m worried I’m going to roll over on you and hurt you in the middle of the night” the younger hunter admitted as he picked up the pillows and put them back on the bed.  
  
Dean opened one eye and looked at his sibling. “I wouldn’t worry about that. This Vicodin is magic, can’t feel a thing now”.  
  
“Okay” Sam said as he toed off his shoes and removed his jacket. He sat down on the bed and swung his legs over and then under the bed sheets.  
  
“Aren’t you going to get undressed?” the injured hunter asked curiously.  
  
The pregnant hunter pulled the bed sheets up over him quickly and settled back into the pillows. “Nope, I’m too tired” he lied as he wriggled further away from his brother to the edge of the bed. “Goodnight Dean” he said turning the other way and switching off the light. He brought his hands around the gentle swell of his stomach and smiled as he visualised his baby moving around like he saw on the ultrasound scan.  
  
Dean closed his eyes again as the medication drew him into a deep sleep. He fought hard to get out a few last words before he succumbed to it. “Sammy? Just one more thing?”.  
  
Sam turned his head backwards to look at his brother. “Yeah?”  
  
“If you’re going to punch me when I start snoring, make sure you get my uninjured side!” the older hunter said amusedly before his eyes were forced to close again.  
  
“Okay….” Sam said as he listened to his brother drift off into sleep. When he was sure that he was sound asleep, he turned back around to face him and watched him sleep, watched how peaceful and serene he looked. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that until he too fell into a dreamless sleep aided by the day’s emotions.  
  
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The older hunter was awake first later the next morning. At first he thought that he must have been dreaming when he found that he was lying next to his brother. Sam was lying on his front, arms around his pillow and close up against him. He brushed his hand through his brother’s wavy hair and relished at being so close to him. He didn’t know whether it was the medication, or having his brother next to him in bed, but he had slept incredibly last night. No nightmares or dream terror’s, just peaceful, rejuvenating sleep.  
  
His arm started to cramp up, so he sat up to try and relieve the discomfort. But he moved too fast and groaned in pain, as he remembered his injuries. “Shit…..ah” he cursed quietly as he nursed his shoulder.  
  
The sudden movement roused Sam from his sleep. His eyes fluttered open and then focused straight onto his brother. He smiled as he could hear his heartbeat, and smell his aftershave. He reveled in the moment before realising what had woken him up. “What are you trying to do?”. Suddenly feeling self-conscious that he was almost spooned up against his brother he moved away.  
  
Dean cringed when he realised that he had woken his sleeping brother. He had wanted to watch him sleep for a bit longer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep” he said keeping his husky voice low and tender.  
  
Sam rubbed his eyes and sat bolt upright. “It’s okay. I’m up now. What were you trying to do? Stay there and I’ll get it for you” he said as he ran his hand over his wounded forehead.  
  
“I just need a drink that’s all. My mouth’s bone dry. I can go and get it myself” Dean said as he made to get up. He moved slowly and tried to block out the searing pain from his injuries. He managed to shuffle to the edge of the bed before he gave up.  
  
“No you won’t. I’ll get it” the pregnant hunter said as he got out of bed and re-filled the glass with fresh water from the tap. “You’re not going to get better if you don’t take it easy”.  
  
“Sam I’m going to go out of mind here. You’ve got to take me out somewhere. Hell, I’ll even drive one-handed if I have to just to get a change of scenery!” Dean said as he took small sips of water.  
  
“You‘ll do no such thing. You’ve only been here a few hours, you can‘t be bored already. If you rest up today then I’ll take you out for a drive tomorrow for a change of scenery. It’s only a couple of days. You‘re not well enough to make a long journey yet” the younger hunter promised.  
  
Dean sighed and gave up trying to argue. He was hardly in a position to protest too much given his incapacitated condition. “Fine. But can we at least get a Motel room with a TV tomorrow? If I‘m stuck inside I need something to occupy me. What dumb ass Motel room doesn‘t give you a TV at least!”.  
  
Sam chuckled at his brother’s pouting face. He still looked adorable. “This one, apparently. We’ll find another room and we’ll make sure it’s got a TV. Besides, I don’t trust this room not to give you an infection. Speaking of which, I need to check on your dressing. The doctor said it would need to be changed this morning and that the incision site would need to be cleaned gently with soap and water. How about you get in the bath? This place may suck but at least it‘s got hot water”.  
  
“A bath? Yeah, that sounds really good. I think I need a good wash to remove the hint of eau-de-werewolf! I can still smell that sucker on me” Dean said screwing his nose up in disgust as he pushed himself up off the bed with his good arm. He reached across, lifted up his shirt and gently peeled the dressing off, hissing when it tugged at the stitches. He sat back down on the bed and began to remove his shirt. Tugging it off over his head he let it fall to the floor. One handed, he pulled at his pants and let them slide down off his feet.  
  
The younger hunter gasped breathlessly as he watched his brother strip down to his underpants. It was like all his dreams and fantasies coming true all at once and it was happening right in front of his eyes. When his head dropped down out of the clouds again, he noticed his sibling’s discomfort. “You okay?”.  
  
Dean got to his feet again and shuffled across the room to the bathroom door. “Yeah. I think I can take it from here” he said as he entered the bathroom. He didn’t fully close the door and left it slightly ajar.  
  
Sam stood rooted to the spot and listened as he heard the bath filling up with water. Curiously, he adjusted his position slightly so that he could peer through the gap in the door to watch as his brother removed his boxers and then slid himself down into the bath. Rubbing his hands over his face he spun around in the opposite direction to focus on something else. His heart seemed to miss a few beats as he thought about his brother naked in the bath, mere metres away from him. He felt something stir deep down in his groin, a needy, wanting throb of desire. A few minutes later he was drawn out of his thoughts again.  
  
“Sam?” the older hunter asked, his voice sounding weak and pathetic. “I….I don’t think that I can do this……I….I need some help”.  
  
“Help? Okay…..I’m on my way” the pregnant hunter replied as he inhaled deeply and then blew out a long breath as he tried to compose himself. Slowly, he walked up to the bathroom door and opened it up further. He swallowed quickly as he drank in the site of his brother in the bath-covered in frothy scented bubbles.  
  
“I’m in too much pain to care about my modesty. My arm….I can’t…can’t get to my hair…I….feel so useless” Dean said as his cheeks blushed shamefully.  
  
The younger hunter quickly took to the task in hand and squeezed some of the cheap shampoo onto his hand and began to rub it onto his brother’s hair, dragging his thumbs over the soft furrows of his sibling’s forehead. “That’s what I’m here for…..” he said as he knelt down on the floor and bent over the bath tub. “Close your eyes, in case I get soap in them”.  
  
Dean closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from moaning at the incredible feeling of his brother’s hands running through his hair. His touch was sending waves of pleasure down his spine, through his body and down to his groin. Adjusting the bubbles he tried his best to hide his burgeoning arousal from below the surface of the water.  
  
Sam looked at his brother, eyes closed, head tilted back, and completely in his hands. He didn’t know how long he carried on massaging in the shampoo, but he didn’t want it to end. Some of the shampoo lather ran down the side of his sibling’s face. He instinctively ran a finger tentatively down and mopped it up, brushing softly against the apple of his cheek. Dean chose that instant to open his eyes and their eyes locked onto each other’s for a moment or two. They both smiled at each other, eyes sparkling back.  
  
“Close your eyes again, I’m going to rinse you off now” Sam said as he cleared his throat and reached for the shower head. He let the water run over his hand as he adjusted the temperature. He then tilted his brother’s hand back and let the stream of hot water run down the back of the other hunter’s head, rinsing off the soap suds. His hand smoothed back and forth on his forehead. “Is the temperature okay for you?”.  
  
Too immersed in the moment, the older hunter almost forgot where he was. This time he couldn’t help the slight wimper that escaped through his lips signalling his comfort and delight. “Yeah…it’s fine. Thank you….”.  
  
Sam continued rinsing, long after the water had run clear from his brother’s hair. He tried to prolong the moment for as long as he possibly could until the water started to run cold. He turned the tap off and put the shower head back in its place. “Okay, you’re all done” he said getting back up onto his feet. “Do you need anymore help?” he asked, hopeful of being more assistance.  
  
“No…..just turn around Sammy. I’m getting out of the bath. Just let me hold onto you for support in case I fall” Dean said as he pushed himself up out of the bath, all the while supporting his injured arm.  
  
Closing his eyes and turning around, the younger hunter tried to picture the perfect globes of the other hunter’s ass and the taut smooth skin. He could almost feel his brother’s naked skin against the back of his clothes. He ran his finger across the fogged up mirror and cleared a small area of steam. He just caught a glimpse of his brother as he covered himself up with a towel. His heart fluttered again at the sight.  
  
Dean stumbled slightly as he got up out of the bath but held tight onto his brother’s shoulder.  
  
“Woah, I’ve got you, it’s okay” Sam said as his quick reflexes caught his brother before he had the chance to fall, quickly spinning back around. Their bodies were pressed up against each other, Dean’s naked torso dripping small droplets of water onto the younger hunter’s clothes. “Let’s get you back over to the bed”.  
  
“Okay” Dean said as he realised that he was probably staring at his brother too much. He let his brother’s strong arms guide him over to the bed. He brought his good arm around to the incision on his chest wall as he tried to dab at it with the piece of gauze and antibacterial ointment that he had ready for him.  
  
“Allow me” Sam said as he realised his brother’s predicament. Their hands made contact as the gauze passed between them. He tried to focus wholly on the wound, but was distracted by his brother’s naked torso in all of it’s glory. His eyes watched as small water droplets ran down the skin, like little beads of pearls. He dabbed at the wound slowly and gently, his big hands just lightly grazing the soft skin. “Hold still Dean” he said as he wrapped his arms around his brother’s waist to steady him.  
  
Dean could feel the blood start to pump around his body quickly as he reacted to his brother’s touch again. He closed his eyes and bit down on his lip. He moved his hand down and enveloped it around Sam’s. Their fast breathing mirrored each other’s. It was almost impossible to try and stop himself from shaking with pure ecstasy as the callous skin of his brother’s hands, rubbed lightly against him, causing his skin to prickle.  
  
Sam looked up in awe of his brother, their eyes locking together in the intimacy of the moment. “I’m nearly done” he said interrupting the erotic silence. He re-dressed the wound with a sterile dressing and a waterproof band aid over the top. “All finished” he said clearing his throat and taking his hands away from the naked flesh.  
  
“Great” the injured hunter said. He smiled as he put his hand over his brother’s again. “Thank you. I think I can manage the rest” he said pushing himself up off the bed once again. He hobbled over to the bathroom with his clean clothes and slammed the door shut behind him. Turning on the tap, he splashed cold water on his face and then leant back against the cold tiles on the wall to get his breathing to return to normal and to cool his burning skin. His face broke into a satisfied smile, feeling fulfillment and euphoria.  
  
On the other side of the door, the pregnant hunter exhaled deeply and started to pace around the room, trying to think about something else to detract from his arousal after being so close to his brother. He was in control of his needy reliant brother, unbelievably delighted that he had taken care of his brother’s intimate needs. His knees felt weak under his weight and he collapsed down onto the bed and hugged the pillow that his brother had slept on. He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of his brother’s after shave that was left on the pillow. Putting his hand on his stomach, he smiled ecstatically and basked in his supreme elation as he suddenly felt close to his unborn child- and it’s other father.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
After spending a few more nights in the run-down Motel and their shared bed, the younger hunter had fulfilled his promise to Dean and had driven them around aimlessly until they settled in a homely looking town and had found a Motel that at least looked like the foundations weren’t going to crumble down overnight.  
  
Dean’s eyes lit up at the sign as they pulled into the parking lot. “Dude, colour TV and buffet breakfast? I’m sold!” he said, feeling slightly perkier than the day before as his wound and shoulder was beginning to heal.  
  
Sam smiled at his brother, happy that he had begun to start feeling better again. “Stay in the car and I’ll go and book us in” he said as he diminished the ignition.  
  
“Fine….” the older hunter responded. After he watched his sibling walk away and head towards the check-in desk he turned his attention to the radio.  
  
The song that came on stirred up some powerful emotions and memories, a painful memory that he buried deep into the depths of his mind. The words of the song extracted the memory and resurrected it cruelly.   
  
Although bitterly painful, the song drew him back to several years ago, just after his younger brother declared that he was starting over and going off to Stanford.  
  
  
 _“You’re going where?” Dean Winchester asked his younger brother._  
  
“Stanford. I applied months ago and I had my acceptance letter this morning. I leave next week. I just can’t do this anymore. I want to better myself and move away from hunting” Sam Winchester said as he confronted his sibling.  
  
Dean felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, like the words had pierced his soul with daggers, ripping it to shreds. “You’re leaving?” he asked, his voice shaky as he sat down on the chair in the corner, his legs wobbled as the strength suddenly left them.  
  
“Yeah” Sam said as he looked up at the older brother, but then looked down at his feet, avoiding his eye contact. “We’re no closer now to finding the thing that killed mom than we were 10 years ago. I’m done”.  
  
The older hunter was infuriated that his own brother couldn’t even look him in the eye. He owed him that, surely. “So you’re just going to leave us. Leave me. After everything that we’ve been through as a family, you’re just going to leave without even discussing this”. It took all of his strength not to burst into tears at the revelation. The thought of not being alongside his brother every day was unbearable.  
  
Sam remained emotionless and unaffected. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to leave. You and dad will have each other. I’m sure we’ll keep in touch….somehow. Besides, I‘m a big boy now, I can look after myself now believe it or not”.  
  
Those words were the most painful that the older hunter had heard so far. His brother saying that he no longer needs him or relies on him. He needed to escape before he broken down emotionally. He shot up quickly from the wooden chair and swiped the keys to the Impala as he hastily stuffed his arms into his leather jacket. “Bye then Sam” he said coldly.   
  
“Wait, where are you going?” Sam asked, his stern face just starting to crack with negative emotion.  
  
Dean paused in the doorway. “Out. You don’t need me anymore, so you’re by yourself, you need to get used to it right? So I’m going out. Have a nice life Sam” he said as he took one final look at his sibling and ran out into the night, heading for the safety of the one other love in his life, except that this one had yet to break his heart- the Impala.  
  
He turned the key in the ignition and slammed his foot down on the gas, making him accelerate away, putting the distance between him and his brother. As the tears ran down his face freely he switched the radio on and focused his emotions on the Boston song, letting the guitar riffs block out the growing hole in his heart.   
  
  
The words of the song were never more true than they were right now.   
  
‘We’ve had our time apart…..don’t leave me alone tonight…..’cause I still love you’.  
  
That was the last time he had seen his brother until he returned to him that night when the trail for their missing father had gone cold. Time hadn’t healed him, and only made the yearning and pining stronger, so when he had the perfect excuse to go and see his brother, he had seized the moment and grabbed it with both hands.  
  
That was also the night he had met Jess, the new love in his brother’s life- a sign that he had moved on.  
  
He felt jealous and betrayed by his brother’s actions. But fate had something else in store for them. Jess’s death had sent Sam straight back into his arms. He felt needed again and had cried as his brother had wept, mourning the loss of the woman he loved.   
  
The older hunter was still lost in his thoughts when his sibling tapped on the window, startling him back to the present.  
  
“Shit Sammy. Don’t do that man” Dean complained as he opened up the passenger door and stepped out of the car.  
  
Sam smiled. “Sorry. You were daydreaming or something….you seemed miles away”.  
  
Dean scoffed at the irony. “Yeah, I guess that’s what a shit load of Vicodin does to you. Are we all booked in?” he enquired.  
  
“Yep. Two singles this time though” the pregnant hunter answered remorsefully, hoping that his brother wouldn’t pick up on the disappointment.  
  
“Great….” Dean said un-enthusiastically, thinking about the night ahead, not being able to take advantage of being close to his brother. He had been free from nightmares the past few nights, coincidently as he had shared a bed with Sam. That obviously meant that he felt safe, comforted and reassured. He stepped cautiously out of the car and slammed the door shut after himself. “Let’s get going then” he grumbled as he slung his bag across his shoulder, forgetting that it was the injured one. “Aaaahhhh”.  
  
Sam quickly moved closer to his brother and took the bag from him and slung it over his shoulder instead. “Watch it Dean, you‘ve got to remember to be careful. Are you okay?” he asked as he put his hand out to his brother.  
  
Dean winced from the jolt to his shoulder and then exhaled as he tried to block out the pain. “It’s fine Sammy. Let’s just go and eat and then I’m going to head straight to bed before the Vicodin makes me crash really hard”.  
  
“Sure. I made sure that we got a room on the ground floor, I don’t think that you’re up to climbing flights of stairs just yet”.  
  
Smiling weakly at the consideration of his brother, the injured hunter adjusted the position of his arm in the sling. “Thanks Sammy”.  
  
“It’s no trouble. You’re my brother and it’s my job to look after you, just like you used to do when we were young” Sam recalled. “We’re the second room on the right, let’s go” he said as he lead them up the gravelly path to their allocated room.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
After filling their stomach’s with food from the ‘All you can eat’ buffet, the two equally weary hunters went back to their room, Dean collapsing on his bed, drowsy from the medication, and Sam on the other one.  
  
The older hunter was the first to fall asleep, drawn into a drug fuelled state of unconsciousness. The younger hunter laid down on the bed, his eyes closed, but not being able to drift fully off to sleep, keeping focused on any signs of discomfort or distress from his brother. His ears were sensitised to listen out for any subtle signs.  
  
Dean was deep in sleep, but even so, he was vaguely aware that he was alone in bed. This subconscious feeling spurred a familiar night terror, a nightmare that he had encountered time after time, one from which he couldn’t seem to able to escape from. He was back down in hell- in the fiery dooms of hell, and being subjected to merciless acts of violence. He was tied down and restrained, and could feel his soul being slowly torn to shreds. He was trying to regain some control, he tried to fight back. He was screaming for help until his voice was hoarse- but there was no-one that could hear him.  
  
He started to thrash around in bed, screaming out for Sam- the last face that he saw before he was dragged away.  
  
Sam’s eyes flicked open immediately as his brother had started moaning in anguish. He jumped up out of bed and went over to his brother, leaning over and shaking him to rouse him from his nightmare. “Dean……Dean…it’s okay, I’m here….wake up…I’m here” he begged and reassured.  
  
The distressed brother opened his eyes in panicked shock as he woke up in a cold sweat, shaking uncontrollably. “Sammy?” he asked, his voice audibly distraught and anxious. He narrowed his eyes to focus properly onto his brother.  
  
“Yeah. I’m here, you’re okay. It was just a nightmare” Sam whispered, his voice calm and smooth in the grim darkness of the room. He sat on the edge of the bed and sidled up to his brother, leaning against the rigidity of the headboard.  
  
Dean sat up slowly and grimaced weakly as he finally recognised the familiar form of his brother through the darkness and realised that he was awake, released from his nightmare. “Sam?” he asked again, wanting, needing reassurance that it was him and not some cruel twist, as a part of his dream.  
  
Sam moved an inch closer and put his arm around his deeply distressed brother. “Yeah, it’s me. You’re safe here, I promise, I’m not going to let anything or anyone hurt you again” he said pulling him in closer against his chest.  
  
Nodding, the older brother, still frozen with fear, went limp like a rag doll and allowed himself to relax into his brother’s embrace. He could hear his own heart beating, galloping faster and faster. As he laid his head on Sam, burying it deeper into his shirt, he could hear the slow, relaxed, steady heart beat of his sibling. “I was scared……so scared…..I’m glad that you’re here…..”.  
  
“You can go back to sleep now” Sam soothed as he brought his other arm around his brother to comfort him, in a protective circle.  
  
Dean shook his head from under Sam’s arms. “I can’t…..I’m frightened…” he admitted faintly.  
  
Sam suddenly felt anxious and sad that his brother felt this way. It must have been terrifying for him to admit that out loud. He carded his fingers through his sibling’s hair which was damp from sweat. “Sleep Dean. I promise you you’ll be safe. I’m not going anywhere, I’m going to stay right where I am. I’m not going to go to sleep until you do. I’ll stay awake” he promised, his voice almost pleading. He moved his brother’s head down onto his stomach to rest.  
  
“Okay…..” Dean said quietly as he closed his eyes.  
  
The younger sibling was glad that his brother still had his head buried in his arms and that he couldn’t see him because his eyes were wet with tears. He brought one of his arms forward for a moment, bringing the bed sheets up over them, engulfing his brother in a protective cocoon. “I’ll be here when you wake, I promise” he whispered. He thought about how his brother’s head was resting on his stomach where their baby grew, how unknowingly close he was to their unborn child, separated only by his flesh.  
  
Despite his tiredness, he kept up his assurance to his beloved brother and waited until he was confident that Dean had fallen asleep before he allowed his own eyes to close and drift off into sleep.  
  
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	19. Chapter 19

Sam was the first to wake up a few hours later. His arms were still curled around his brother, who hadn’t moved an inch either. It took him a moment to come to and remember why he was here, and not in the empty single bed next to him. Slowly and carefully he pulled his arms free, guiding his brother’s head down onto the pillow. He grimaced as the springs in the mattress recoiled as he got up. He was trying to break free from the embrace without disturbing his brother. Dean would be horrified and shamefully embarrassed if he knew how he caved and crumbled emotionally last night whilst under the influence of heavy pain relieving opiates.  
  
Dean opened his eyes the second his brother had broken free from him, he suddenly felt empty and exposed, no barrier of protection around him. Sitting up, he just caught sight of his sibling disappear through the bathroom door. His head felt fuzzy, probably due to the after effect of taking so much pain medication the night before. On the plus side, his shoulder didn’t seem to hurt as much, which meant that it was starting to heal and fix itself. Out of curiosity he pulled up his t-shirt to inspect the incision site on his chest. That too was starting to fade and the redness and inflammation seemed to be fading and diminishing. As he got to his unsteady feet, Sam appeared again. He smiled at his saviour, the one that had comforted him through last night’s distress and nightmare. “Hey” he said casually, initiating the conversation between them.  
  
“Hey” Sam replied, his face beaming back at his brother, showing off his dimples. “I didn’t mean to wake you, sorry……bathroom. Did you sleep alright in the end? You were pretty out of it…..”.  
  
“Was I? I don’t really remember too much about it…..I know that you were there…..I hope I didn’t make too much of an ass of myself……sorry…” Dean apologised, hoping the statement was true. He could only remember snippets from last night.  
  
Sam went to the cooler on the floor and took out the carton of orange juice and began to drink it straight from the carton. “No….you were fine, you’re off the hook” he smirked.  
  
“Hey, dude, drinking straight from the carton, seriously?” Dean said jokingly.  
  
“It’s got pulp in Dean. You don’t like the pulp” the younger sibling stated as he brought it back up to his mouth again.  
  
Dean mock pouted and slumped his shoulders down. “That’s not the point. You’re not some lazy college student anymore…..”.  
  
“No….I’m not” Sam said poignantly. “Those days are well and truly behind me now. A lot has happened since then”.  
  
“Yeah, I guess it has…” the older brother said, swallowing back his grief at the memory of his brother leaving him for sunny California all those years ago. “Anyway, my arm is feeling loads better this morning. I was thinking about going for a drive” he said changing the subject quickly.  
  
Sam huffed. “Dean. It’s not even been a week yet. You couldn’t even bath yourself the other day, there’s no way you’re fit to drive”.  
  
The older hunter sighed loudly. “I feel useless just sitting here doing nothing when there’s a hunt we could be on. I’m bored of resting” he said making his pout more obvious.  
  
“Okay. You can drive” the pregnant hunter said calmly as he rummaged around on the table to locate the keys to the Impala.  
  
Dean scoffed. “Really? Wow! I thought that I’d have a much harder time convincing you on that matter” he said before cutting himself short. He raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “What’s the condition?”.  
  
Sam walked towards his brother slowly. “You have to get up off the bed, walk across the room, and then catch the keys using only your good arm, all without assistance. If you can do that, then you’re fit enough to drive” he said smugly, trying to keep his smile under control.  
  
“Sam…..” Dean began to protest.  
  
Shrugging his shoulders, the younger sibling smacked his lips together. “It’s just walking a few steps un-aided Dean, no big deal”.  
  
Dean nodded his head. “Okay. No problem” he said, as he contemplated his moves, one step at a time. The first hurdle would be to push himself up off the bed. The wound on his chest would pull painfully but if he didn’t think too much about it, then it would be possible. He hoped that the powerful painkillers had worn off enough that he could take controlled steps across the room without stumbling over.  
  
“Take your time Dean” Sam said complacently as he watched his brother. He took another step closer to his brother ready for when he would need to leap in and help him.  
  
Using his good arm as much as he could, Dean pushed up from the bed, but flopped back down hopelessly as he was too weak to get up. After recovering for a few seconds he decided that he needed both his arms to assist him. As he pushed himself with both hands, he hissed inwardly as his shoulder burned. He had managed to get up off the bed, but he toppled dangerously, causing his good arm to grab onto the edge of the nightstand. “I’m up” he declared proudly as he breathed in and out deeply to ease the pain.  
  
Sam rolled his eyes. “Dean, don’t be so stubborn. Look at you, you can barely stand”.  
  
Dean shook his head, refusing to be beaten by such a simple task- or at least it should have been simple. “No….just give me a minute. I’ll walk now” he said as he let go of the nightstand. He forced his feet to move, putting one in front of the other. His first step was wobbly, and the second caused him to wobble and shake on the spot.  
  
“Woah…..wait, I got you” Sam said, quickly rectifying the situation by rushing to his brother’s aid and wrapping his arms around him and guiding him back to the bed. “Do you still think that you can drive?” he questioned.  
  
The injured hunter’s face went pale and he shook his head solemnly. “No…..damn it. I hate being so damn useless….” he admitted. “That’s not how we were brought up. Dad would never let us be ill, we just had to suck it up and carry on regardless”.  
  
“You don’t get any rewards from being stubborn and trying to be a hero. The demons and monsters will still be there in a few weeks. You’ve got to get yourself better first. I’ll help you get your strength back and get you fighting fit again. But in the meantime please just rest for a couple of weeks” Sam urged his brother as he poured some orange juice into a clean glass for him.  
  
Dean examined the contents of the glass disgustedly. “I thought we’d already established that I don’t like the pulp”.   
  
Sam laughed at his brother’s infantile behaviour. “Quit whinging and knock it back in one. You need to Vitamin C to heal” he chastised.  
  
Following his brother’s advice, Dean brought the glass up to his mouth and downed the juice in one big gulp. He gasped and screwed his eyes up before handing the glass back to his brother. “Dude…that’s gross”. Once he’d gotten over the horrible taste in his mouth he recalled his sibling’s words. “Wait….I’ve got to rest another few weeks? Are you serious?!”.  
  
Taking the glass from Dean and putting it down on the nightstand, Sam laughed again. “Well if I say a few weeks, then you’ll probably make it to a week. Whereas if I said a week, then you’d be getting all antsy in a couple of days. I figure I’m safe for at least a week seeing as you can barely stand right now so I know that you won’t be able to do a Steve Mcqueen or Houdini on me”.  
  
Dean went to protest against his brother but then realised that he was completely and utterly right on the subject. “……you know me too well Sammy. There’s no getting away or hiding anything from you”.  
  
Sam blushed at his brother’s statement. He ran his hand briefly across his stomach shamefully. He could feel the guilt eating him up. Dean still wasn’t over his bad patch and had a long way to go before he’s close to recovering from not only his physical injuries, but his emotional ones, if last night’s night terror’s were anything to go by. He would tell him about the baby soon, but not yet, he wasn’t ready to handle that revelation right now. “Get back to bed Dean. We’ll review the situation in a week. Take some more Vicodin and sleep it off”.   
  
Knowing he was too weak to do anything else than just lie down or sit up, Dean knew that he was defeated. He grabbed two pills from the bottle and swallowed them down with the stale water on the nightstand. He noticed that Sam was putting on his coat. “Where are you going? If I’m not allowed to go anywhere, then neither are you!”.  
  
“Someone needs to get us food and more provisions. Besides, once those Vicodin kick it, you’re not going to notice whether I’m here or not. Have you got any special requests from the store or not?” Sam said stuffing his wallet in the inside pocket of his jacket.  
  
Dean snuggled back into the bed and pulled the bed covers back over him. He smiled when he could smell his brother’s aftershave on the pillow. It almost felt like he was still lying next to him. “Orange juice, without the pulp?”.  
  
Sam laughed. “Okay. I’ll make sure there’s no pulp in it. Anything else?”.  
  
“How about some gummi bears, and maybe some pie?” the older brother said.  
  
“Okay” the younger sibling said as he went over to his brother’s bed and laid a cell phone next to him. “I won’t be long, but if you’ve got any problems, just give me a ring on my cell, I’ll make sure it’s on loud. Is there anything I can do for you before I leave?”.  
  
Dean moaned softly as he turned around in the bed. “Remote control for the TV in case I get bored. I think it’s nearly time for Oprah!”.  
  
“Since when do you watch Oprah, Dean?” Sam laughed amusedly.  
  
“I dunno….since now? I might have watched the odd one in the past. If I’m stuck in bed for a week then I’m going to need something to get hooked on” the injured hunter said humorously.   
  
Sam located the control for the TV and put it down on the bed next to the cell phone. He also thoughtfully emptied the glass with the stale water in and re-filled it with fresh water from the tap. “I’ll see you later” he said before effortlessly walking across the room and leaving through the door, slamming it shut behind him.  
  
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Dean, finally bringing down his barrier of courage, decided that he needed to make a full recovery before hunting again. He had not only managed to get to a week, but he surpassed that and made 9 days before he declared that once again, he was fit enough to be allowed to get back on the road again, and then ultimately hunt.  
  
Sam had been more than glad for the chance to rest and the fact that his brother had been on his best behaviour, apart from a few grumbles of protest, he hadn’t actually tried to escape as such, which had made his job easier. Time had been on Dean’s side, healing his wound, repairing and strengthening his shoulder.  
  
Whereas time wasn’t so great for Sam, as that meant his pregnancy had progressed further, making him more conscious that he needed to hide his growing bulge. He had just stepped out of the shower in the stuffy little bathroom of their Motel room when he caught a glimpse of his profile in the mirror. Turning to the side he ran his hand gingerly over the swell in his belly, suddenly realising how much bigger it had got in the past 2 weeks. He would have to adjust his clothing to compensate.  
  
“What the hell are you doing in that bathroom Sammy? Come on!” Dean shouted from the other side of the door, banging his fist against the wood.   
  
His brother’s shouting startled Sam, making him throw the towel around his waist quickly. “Wait don’t come in….” he yelled back as he picked up his clothes and covered up his front just as the door flew open.   
  
Dean smiled amusedly as he looked at his brother shyly trying to cover up his dignity. “Dude, you’ve been in there like forever….I‘m bored shitless of this place now, we need to move on……..”.  
  
Sam held tightly onto the towel and the grip on his clothes. “Jesus Dean, haven’t you heard of knocking” he asked angrily.  
  
Shrugging his shoulders, the older hunter started to remove his shirt. “I did. Besides you’ve got nothing to hide, I’ve seen it all before!” he smirked back.  
  
“Friggin’ jerk” Sam scoffed back as left his brother to it in the bathroom, closing the door forcefully behind him. As he put his jeans on, he found that it was a struggle to do up the zipper and top button, but somehow managed to squeeze into them. He made a mental note to himself that the next time he could escape from his brother for a few minutes, he would need to go to the store and pick up another pair in the next couple of sizes up- after all, he was only going to get bigger. Choosing the black t-shirt as the most flattering one, he tugged that on over his head and quickly put on a checked dark shirt, buttoning the last few buttons up only. This was the best that he could do. He flopped down on the bed whilst he waited for his brother to finish his shower. Grimacing at the bloatedness and heartburn, his hand rubbed up and down his tummy and then in circles to try and relieve the discomfort. He was starting to feel truly pregnant right now.  
  
Dean shot out of the bathroom, just 5 minutes later, in just his boxers, and towel drying his hair with his good arm. “At least you left me with some hot water” he said fumbling around on his bed for a clean-ish pair of jeans.  
  
The pregnant hunter had adjusted his position on the bed, curling his legs and hips around slightly. “You’re full of beans this morning”.  
  
“Yeah. I’ve not had any Vicodin for a couple of days and the pain has virtually gone. Look, I can move my arm properly now” Dean said as he rotated his shoulder around in circles and then demonstrated how he could raise it up and down in the air. “I want to try driving today Sam”.  
  
Sam swung his legs around off the bed and winced as his stomach griped with heartburn again. He shouldn’t have eaten so much for breakfast. “Yeah, okay. Just for a little bit, and then I’ll take over” he said moaning softly at the end of his sentence.  
  
The older hunter noticed his brother’s brief, subtle sign of uneasiness. “You okay?”.  
  
“Indigestion” Sam squeaked out as he got to his feet. “I’ll take some pepto-bismol and I’ll be fine in a minute. So…where are you thinking about heading to?” he asked changing the subject quickly.  
  
Dean raised an eyebrow briefly, but then started to fold up his clothes and put them into his duffel bag. “I don’t really know. I just to want to drive and see where the road takes us. Call it a test drive, so to speak, just to see how well my shoulder holds out”.  
  
Swallowing down his tablets with the last of the orange juice, the pregnant hunter looked at his brother sceptically. “As long as you’re not stubborn and stop when you need to. You don’t have to prove a point to anyone”.  
  
“I think I’m the more healthy one here right now. You sure you’re okay Sammy?” the older brother asked cautiously.  
  
Sam exhaled deeply and ran his hand discreetly down the side of his stomach. “It’s just a bit of heartburn Dean, no big deal. It’s eased off now” he said turning away from his brother and gathering up the last of his belongings.  
  
The older hunter shrugged his shoulders. “Okay. It’s just that’s it’s strange, you never used to get it, now you seem to be getting it all the time”.  
  
The pregnant hunter composed himself for a few seconds before speaking. “Maybe our stressful lifestyle is finally catching up with me. With everything that’s happened over the last year or so, I’m surprised that I’ve not gone grey yet” he said light heartedly, trying to uplift the tone, as not to cause an argument. “Anyway, if we’re going to hit the road, let’s do it before the traffic starts to build up. But promise me Dean……”.  
  
“Yeah, yeah” the older hunter sibling said, interrupting his brother as he waved his hand around in the air, “…….I know, if it gets too much then I’m to pull over and swap around with you…”.  
  
Sam half-smiled. “I’m just looking after you…I care about you….” he sighed and muttered silently under his breath, “…….more than you’ll ever know”.  
  
Dean felt a pang of guilt for his abrasiveness. He smiled apologetically at his beloved brother. “I know you do….and believe it or not I appreciate it” he said as he pulled Sam into a bear hug.  
  
The younger sibling threw his arm around his brother in their embrace and patted him on the shoulder. Dean winced and hissed suddenly. “Ow…..”.  
  
“Oh God….Dean, your shoulder, I’m sorry” Sam said as he released his grip and pulled away.  
  
Smiling and giving a full-bellied laugh, Dean shook his head. “I’m joking, I couldn’t resist, you’re so easy to wind up. Come on let’s hit the road….I‘ll be glad to see the end of this Motel room” he said as he patted his hand across Sam’s stomach before picking up his duffel bag and swiping the Impala keys from the table.  
  
Sam put his hand on the spot on his stomach where his brother’s hand was a split second before, sending a tingle up his spine from the second of contact, the brief moment of adoration, almost unconsciously aimed at their unborn child. For a moment, the pregnant hunter remained frozen to the spot, wondering what it would be like it his brother actually knew the truth.  
  
Dean popped his head back around the door to see why his brother wasn’t following him. “Sam? Are you coming, or what?”.  
  
Snapping out of his thoughts, he quickly dropped his hand down to his side. “Yeah…sorry….I’m coming. Just trying to see if we‘ve forgotten anything. I think we‘re good…let‘s go” he said following his brother outside to the car.  
  
The older hunter almost squealed in delight as he found himself re-united with his adored Impala. “Aaw, have you missed me baby?” he asked the shiny black car, as he ran his hand across the body work. “Has Sammy treated you well?”.  
  
Sam beamed at his brother’s interaction with his prized possession. “Of course I have. My life wouldn’t be worth living if I didn’t treat her right” he smirked playfully.  
  
After Dean flung his duffel bag into the trunk he slid into the driver’s seat just as Sam shuffled into the passenger seat. He stretched his legs out and tried to reach the pedals but found that he couldn’t. He brought the seat forward, adjusting the position back to how he was used to having it. “Why are your legs so damn long Sam….” he grumbled to his brother.  
  
“It’s not my fault you’re short” the pregnant hunter joked.  
  
Dean rolled his eyes as he started up the ignition. He reached out for the dial on the radio but withdrew his hand, hesitantly. “I’m not going to switch this radio on and find that you’ve changed it to some girly pussy channel?”.  
  
Sam scoffed. “No….your rock station is safe” he said leaning back into the seat after putting his seat-belt on securely around him.  
  
Just to clarify, the older hunter switched on the radio. He smiled when a heavy rock ballad kicked in. Cautiously he put the car into gear and clutched onto the wheel with both of his hands. When he was satisfied that his shoulder still felt okay, he sped away from the Motel and headed out to the unfamiliar highway, going with the flow.  
  
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Sam hadn’t realised that he had fallen asleep, until he woke up a couple of hours later, his leg cramping up from being in the confines of the car.  
  
“Good afternoon sleeping beauty!” the older brother mocked.  
  
“Where are we?” the pregnant hunter asked as he rubbed his eyes and adjusted to the surroundings. He scanned the blurring roadside as they zoomed past, for any clues as to their location.  
  
Dean adjusted the position of his hands on the steering wheel and shuffled in the seat to pull him up from his slouching position. “Sunny California! Actually we’re not too far out from Stanford if you wanted to pay a visit, to reminisce, relieve your misspent youth and student days”. Although painful to bring it up, the older hunter thought that if it made his brother happy, then he would be able to bring himself to do that.  
  
The younger hunter swallowed, realising that his mouth was suddenly dry. His brother had brought up one of the other dark times in his life, where bittersweet memories of the real reason he escaped to Stanford came into his mind, flooding in uncontrollably.   
  
Stanford was where he went in vain, spending all of those years trying to get over his brother.  
  
 __  
Sam couldn’t bear to be around his brother anymore, being so close to him and knowing that that’s as far as it would go. He had found a way out, an excuse to leave. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it would be for the best. Starting a new life for himself would slowly heal the heart ache that he was currently enduring and the torment he would have to endure after telling his brother that he needed to leave. Stanford had given him that chance. He was all set to go, he just had to tell his brother. He had planned and rehearsed the speech countless times. He had to be hard and callous about it otherwise it would be impossible to get through.  
  
As he broke the news to his brother, he was unable to make eye contact with him, because staring into the green orbs of his eyes would persuade him to stay, but he couldn’t cope anymore. This was the best thing for him, for them both.  
  
Seeing his brother walk out of the door was excruciatingly painful. He felt like the worst person in world. As he heard the Impala drive off, and listened to the low rumble get quieter and further away, when he could no longer hear it he broke down into tears and punched the wall furiously. He had stayed so strong until now. His first instinct was to run after him and tell him how he truly felt, but it was too late.  
  
Jess had helped him to move on and to heal, he had fallen in love with her, but that love ran at a different level to the one he had for his brother. Just when his heart had repaired itself, his brother appeared in his life again and he was torn all over again. The mutual concern over the disappearance of their father had thrown them closer again, brought them together.   
  
Then when Jess had died, tragically died, Dean was the one that had helped him heal again, but made his heart long and earn for something different, something more. The yearning for his brother was now stronger than ever.  
  
  
The older hunter brought his sibling out of his wandering mind. “Sam?”.  
  
“Yeah?!” Sam replied, startled by his brother’s voice whilst he was deep in thought.  
  
Dean tapped his hands on the wheel of the Impala in time with the rhythm of the guitar riffs and drums of yet another classic rock song that was playing on the antique radio. “Stanford?”.  
  
Sam cleared his throat and shook his head, something to distract from his glassy eyes, moist with tears. “No. I’m not really fussed about going back there. Too many bad memories….with Jess, you know?” he answered back. His reply wasn’t exactly a lie as such.  
  
“Okay!” the older sibling sang back, trying not to sound too relieved and happy about not visiting the place that so cruelly stole his brother away from him for all of those years.  
  
“Why California?” Sam asked, out of sheer curiosity.  
  
“Why the hell not? It’s the golden state Sammy. I thought it would put a smile on our faces. We need to chill out for a couple of weeks, you know?” Dean said with avid enthusiasm.   
  
The pregnant hunter reached down for the bottle of water that was rolling around on the floor. Flipping the cap off with his thumb, he took a sip, to wet his parched throat. “I thought that you were in a hurry to get back hunting!”.  
  
“Yeah, well I want a break for a couple of weeks. And moping around a Motel room, drugged up to the eyeballs on Vicodin, and confined to bed having to resort to count the crappy retro flowers on the wallpaper of the room doesn’t count as a break” the older hunter said, sighing and enjoying his elation at being back on the road again. “And like you said, the demons and monsters are not going anywhere!”.  
  
Sam smiled at his brother’s rational decision for a change. A decision that wasn’t self destructive or self desecrating. Maybe his brother really was changing for the better. Maybe he was starting to get over his emotional trauma and guilt. Maybe he was well on his way to getting better. The only thing that Sam could do right now was smile back at his brother.  
  
Dean noticed his brother’s beautiful smile and the way the dimples in his cheeks moved. “What?”.  
  
“I’m glad to see that you’re happy again Dean” the pregnant hunter said, voicing his observation.  
  
“Yeah……I guess that I am” the blond hunter said in exasperation as he realised that it was true. He felt he was regaining that bond back with his brother that he thought that he was losing rapidly. Sam was his happiness, and his reason to keep going in life. His attention was drawn down to the fuel gauge on the dashboard. “Do you need to stop, because I’m going to need to stop for gas quite soon”.  
  
Sam realised that his legs were still cramping up and were now causing him some considerable discomfort. “Yeah. I could do with stretching my really long legs” he mocked, trying to make light of his dilemma.  
  
The older hunter scanned the sign that was moving quickly towards him as he drove. He caught a glimpse of it before it disappeared in his rear view mirror. “Next gas station, 5 miles. Perfect!”.


	20. Chapter 20

The Californian sunshine worked wonders for the older hunter as he continued to gain back his strength and agility. After nearly 2 weeks of daily exercises and runs along the coastline, he felt fighting fit again, save for the slight twinges every now and again from his shoulder and the healed wound on his chest, the scar tissue tight and tugging.  
  
Stopping, to re-tie his shoe lace up, and to catch his breath, the blond hunter looked over at one of the glorious beaches, dotted with families, friends and couples alike enjoying the last rays of sunshine for the day. Was this what ‘normal life’ passed as? Carefree and filled with laughter and joy, and the simple pleasure of being able to relax on the beach and the only worry being, what you were going to eat that evening.  
  
A part of him wanted and yearned for that. But he had a job to do, him and his brother. A job that earned them no money, little thanks, and one that caused them to effectively live as fugitives, on the run from the law and resorting to fraud to obtain enough money for gas, food and accommodation. It was far from ideal, but it was the only life he had ever known.   
  
He silently cursed himself. “Enough moping around and get back to business…..” he said as he stood back up and broke into a run again. He had left his younger brother back at the Motel to do some research for their next hunt, now that he was better again. He feared that he would be out of practice if he left it much longer before hunting again. His younger sibling seemed to be brooding too much and preferred to stay in the Motel room as much as he could. They both needed to get back to normality, their far from conventional lives.  
  
As he jogged steadily, along the path that in about 2 miles, would lead him back to their Motel, he took another glimpse around him, looking enviously on at parents playing innocently with their children, teaching them to throw a ball, not how to fire a .59 gun like he had to do. Sure, he wanted a family, but not under the current circumstances.  
  
Shaking all notions about that subject out from his mind, he focused on beating his personal best running time from the day before. He was a soldier and there were battles to be won and he had couldn’t afford to slack on anything.  
  
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The younger hunter changed into his new jeans and shirt, buttoning them up with ease, and not having to squeeze himself into clothes that no longer fitted him. The new clothes were baggy on him, which flattered his figure and didn’t dig uncomfortably into him. He hoped that these would tide him over for a couple of months at least even though that was probably wishful thinking. His brother never paid that much attention when it came to anything that wasn‘t guns and cars, so he would never notice the new clothes.  
  
Next his attention was drawn to the McDonalds he had gone out and bought too. He had never been interested in fast food before and always opted to have the healthiest option, but as he drove past, he suddenly found that he craved a burger, fries and a banana milkshake. Red meat was something that he had never really eaten much of before, but now he needed it. This baby was going to get him hooked on the stuff. It was definitely Dean’s, without a doubt.  
  
He opened the box up and stuffed as much of the burger into his mouth as he could. Oh. My. God. It tasted even better than he had imagined. After demolishing off the burger, he turned his concentration to the fries, taking a handful and shoving them greedily into his mouth. He had only eaten a couple of hours ago, but he was famished again already. Maybe he should have bought a bigger size of jeans, the way he was carrying on eating.  
  
As he opened up the banana milkshake and took a satisfying slurp, before he knew what he was doing, he had dunked a fry into it. Shrugging his shoulders, he figured ‘what the hell’ and thrust it into his mouth. He didn’t think that it would be possible, but this was more satisfying even than the burger he had been craving so much for.  
  
There was an unsettling feeling in his stomach, probably due to the speed that he was eating. Throwing the rest of the fries down on the bed he rubbed his hand across the small swell in his stomach to try and ease the fluttering sensation. This felt different to the indigestion that seemed to plague him frequently. Before he had a chance to think about it too much, the door to their Motel room swung open, and his older brother appeared.  
  
“Good run?” Sam asked as he pushed himself up off the bed and tugged at his shirt, out of habit.  
  
Dean was still panting, breathless from his 6 mile run. His beige t-shirt was laced with sweat as was his hair. He tilted his head back and squirted the last drops of water from the bottle into his mouth. “Yeah. 6 miles, my best yet. I’m feeling really good. This Californian sunshine is great. I think I’m ready to hunt again”.  
  
Sam studied his brother’s face. His freckles were more pronounced and his skin was more golden and bronzed, no doubt from the sun from his daily jogs. His hazel green eyes glistened, making him the picture of health, compared to his sickly pale complexion a few weeks ago. “That’s good”.  
  
“Yeah….” the older hunter said distractedly as he studied the half eaten portion of fries and empty burger box on the bed. “Since when have you eaten McDonalds?”.  
  
The pregnant hunter shrugged his shoulders. If his brother had walked in on him a few seconds earlier, he would have had an even harder time trying to explain why he was dunking his fries into his milkshake. “Since now, I guess. It was convenient”.  
  
“Okay Ronald McDonald” the older hunter replied as he rolled his eyes. “What happened to your health kick? Maybe you should join me on a run tomorrow morning. You’re starting to get flabby!”.  
  
Sam went to fold his arms across his chest, but then dropped them down to his side. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with them. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, as he felt his eyes start to glaze over.  
  
Dean laughed half-heartedly. “Just saying, that we need to get back hunting, get active again, because obviously lounging around in a Motel room for a few weeks has it’s consequences, we’re bound to be out of shape”.  
  
The taller hunter sniffed and quickly wiped his eyes as discreetly as he could. Damn hormones had to betray at the most inconvenient time possible.  
  
“Dude….it was a joke……are you crying?” the older brother asked as he moved closer to his brother.  
  
“No…I’m not crying. Why the hell would I be crying?” Sam spat back as he tried to gather hold of his whacked out hormones. “Go and take a shower please, you stink!”.  
  
“So you’ve put on a few pounds and filled out more. You actually look better for it. You look healthier” Dean said genuinely. “You lost so much weight a couple of months ago, I was getting worried about you”.  
  
This only infuriated the pregnant hunter even more. Striding over to retrieve his jacket, he stuffed his arms in haphazardly in an attempt to escape before he reached full-on sobbing.  
  
“Sammy…..come on man…don’t take it so personally” the older sibling said as he put his hand out to his brother, brushing it lightly on his stomach.  
  
The fluttering in the pregnant hunter’s stomach resumed again taking him by surprise. It was then he realised, to his utter amazement that the baby had moved. He gasped in wonderment as he pushed his brother’s hand away from him. “I’ve got to go……” he said, as he waltzed over to the door.  
  
Dean scoffed at his brother’s sudden outburst. “Where are you going?” he asked.  
  
Sam paused before he opened the door. “You want to get back into hunting, I’m going to find us a hunt…..” he said pushing the door open forcefully.  
  
“Sam….there’s no hurry….” the older hunter shouted back, but to no avail, as his brother disappeared through the door and let it slam shut again violently. “What the hell?” he thought silently to himself. He thought it best for his brother to calm down from- well from whatever the hell was going on with him. Deciding that he really did need a shower he trudged over to the bathroom until he stopped short of his brother’s bed and picked up the remaining fries. They were still warm so he took a handful and stuffed them into his mouth in a very undignified manner. “Mmm….” he said as he picked up the cup of milkshake and slurped from it as he continued his journey into the bathroom.  
  
\--------------------------------------------  
  
Sam had dashed out of the Motel room, his hands placed around his stomach in a state of intense concentration as he hoped that he could feel the subtle movement again, just to clarify. After waiting patiently for a few moments he was rewarded with another small flutter, something delicate brushing up against him inside. He gasped and his anger immediately turned into a beaming smile. “Hey pip. Hey baby…..thank you for making yourself known….thank you for saying hello…” he whispered as he stopped walking and sat down on an old bench around the corner from their Motel. His emotions built up to another crescendo as his eyes watered again. He was too happy to care and did nothing to try and stem the flow of tears or to hide them.  
  
The fluttering had stopped again much to his disappointment. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for, hands perched up against his swollen tummy, eyes closed in concentration, willing his baby to give him another sign that it was growing happily inside of him.  
  
“Okay….” he finally said out loud. “Daddy wants a hunt, I’m going to find him a hunt. But don’t worry, I’ll be careful, I’m going to make sure that you’re safe. Nothing is going to happen to you. I love you so much already” he assured himself and his unborn child. When there was no more movement, he got up from the bench, wiped his eyes and headed off into the direction of the nearest library.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It was a couple of hours later, when the youngest hunter returned to the Motel room. His older brother was sitting at the table, on the laptop computer, trawling the internet for any leads.  
  
Sam had been careful not to use his personal computer to research anything pregnancy related. His brother knew how to hack into computers, God dammit, if he could manage to hack into government databases and highly confidential police records, then finding any saved searches or cookies would be a walk in the park. He threw a newspaper down onto the table, open on the page he wanted his brother to see. “Take a look….see what you think about this….”.  
  
Dean looked at his younger brother, trying to assess his face for any clues as to his mood. His hand reached out for the paper and he scanned the page hastily, not taking anything in. “Yeah…..we’ve looked into less I suppose” he shrugged as he put the paper back down onto the table and turned his attention back to the laptop.  
  
The pregnant hunter pulled his jacket around him tightly as he cautiously sat down at the table, opposite his brother. “I’m sorry for earlier. I think we’ve just been cooped up in this Motel room for too long, we‘re just not used to it I guess”.  
  
The older brother smiled weakly and picked up the paper again and studied the headline and scanned through the story. “I think you’re right, it’s definitely worth a look. What are your thoughts on it?”.  
  
Sam exhaled deeply and put his hands out on the table, entwining his fingers together. “I’m not sure” he shrugged. “Young girl found dead in her own home, inside a locked room, no signs of entry, no clues, no traces of DNA. Vengeful spirit? It could be a whole host of things”.  
  
Dean leant back in his chair and nodded his head enthusiastically. “Hhmm, yeah. Good work Sammy, you always come up trumps”.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said shyly, erupting into a beaming smile.  
  
“That’s what I like to see. You smiling, it can light up a room, you know?” the older brother admitted. He was unable to look away from his younger sibling.  
  
After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, the pregnant hunter broke it by pushing his chair back, nosily as it grated against the cracked tiles on the floor. “It’s a good few hours drive from here…..so…I guess we should hit the road….everything should still be in the trunk…..”.  
  
The blond hunter nodded once, then dipped his head down before bringing it back up to look at his brother. “Okay, I’m ready when you are. I’ve had a shower, you’ll be glad to know, so it won’t be me stinking out the car”.  
  
Sam laughed feebly and turned away from his brother pensively.  
  
“I don’t want to push my luck here……but are you sure that you’re okay?” the older hunter asked thoughtfully, hoping against hope that his brother would give him something that he could go on.  
  
“Yeah! Everything’s fine. You’re fine, I’m fine…..we’re all fine” he said abruptly. “Like I said, cabin fever, we just need to get back on the road and get back to normal” the pregnant hunter said as he walked over to his bed and threw the rest of his clothes into his duffel bag.  
  
Dean smiled with relief and relaxed his tone. He didn’t entirely buy his brother’s explanation, but he had no reason to really doubt him. “Yeah, you’re totally right. I’m chomping on the bit here too, going stir crazy. We’re hunters and we need to be out there doing what we’re doing. I think I’m going to ring Bobby and update him and get him to do some research for us” he said as he shut down Sam’s laptop and closed up the lid.  
  
The taller hunter agreed. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll finish up packing here, and I’ll meet you in the Impala”.  
  
“Awesome” Dean muttered under his breath as he put on his khaki green jacket and located his cell phone and the keys to the Impala.  
  
Once the older hunter was safely outside the door, he took a few more paces away from the room, waiting until he got outside and in view of the Impala before he dialled the familiar number on his cell. It only rang a few times before the gruff voice of their mentor hunter answered.  
  
“Dean?” Bobby’s voice boomed from the other end of the phone.  
  
“Yeah Bobby, it’s me” the blond hunter replied. “I need some advice”.  
  
Bobby sighed deeply. “I figured that….ain’t that the only reason you idgits ring me?” he joked.  
  
Dean felt a pang of guilt at the realisation. He ran his hand over his face. “Yeah, sorry. I’m all fixed up now, and ready to hunt again. Thought I could get some information from you about Daevas, the Shadow Demons?”.  
  
The oldest hunter thought for a moment and then scoffed at the request. “Shadow Demons? Haven’t you and Sam already dealt with them before? You should know more about them than I do. Which begs the question, why are you really ringing me Dean?”.  
  
The blond hunter had to admit that Bobby didn’t miss a trick and he couldn’t pull a fast one on him. He sighed heavily and checked the vicinity for his brother. It killed him to do this- he felt like he was betraying his brother’s trust, but he needed to know. Wanted to help his brother, out of love. “Okay, fine. It’s about Sam” he confessed.  
  
Bobby stiffened and went quiet while he pondered the answer, He wasn’t sure how much Dean knew about his brother’s predicament- that’s if he even knew at all, so he kept it nonchalant. “Yeah, what about him?”.  
  
“I dunno. He’s not himself. He hasn’t been for weeks. I’m just really worried about him. You don’t know anything, do you?” the worried hunter asked his mentor, hoping for some clue. He winced shamefully, the guilt coming back to him again for his disloyalty.  
  
“I don’t know boy….have you actually asked your brother about it?” Bobby asked, again, careful with his words.  
  
Dean cleared his throat. He turned around to face the entrance of the Motel, so he could see when his brother was on his way. “Of course I have. He keeps telling me that he’s fine and that everything is okay. I’m not so sure. He‘s not really telling me anything”.  
  
“Well then there’s nothing wrong is there? Have you got any reason to doubt him” the mentor asked.  
  
“No, I guess not” Dean admitted, trying to keep the uncertainty from his voice.  
  
Bobby sighed. “I’m sure that if something is wrong, then he will tell you in his own time, when he’s ready. But you can’t exactly blame him, you’re not exactly Mr. confess-your-feelings and have a heart-to-heart kinda guy. You two are as stubborn as each other. Just give your brother some time……and if he wants to talk….then he’ll talk”.  
  
“Yeah, you’re right. I can’t really be hypocritical here” Dean confessed, feeling somewhat reassured by his faithful mentor’s words. The door to the entrance of the Motel swung open to reveal his sibling, carrying their duffel bags. “Anyway, thanks Bobby. I’ve got to go now. We’ll be in touch…..”.  
  
“Don’t leave it……too long” Bobby muttered over the other end of the phone, but it was too late, Dean had cut him off and had hung up the phone.  
  
Sam smiled and loaded their belongings in the trunk. Slamming the door down he looked to his brother questioningly. “What did Bobby have to say?”.  
  
Dean scratched his head and licked his dry lips together for a second. “Daeva?”.  
  
“Shadow demon?” Sam clarified.  
  
“Yeah” the blond hunter confirmed.  
  
“Hhhmm……the younger sibling said, arching an eyebrow and pursing his lips together in agreement. “Yeah…that’s definitely a strong possibility. I’m kinda keeping my fingers crossed on that. If it is, then we’ve dealt with one before and know how to deter it and destroy it”.  
  
The older hunter got into the driver’s seat of the Impala and his brother followed suit, sliding into the passenger seat next to him. “Yeah….for once Sammy I’m with you on this. Look……I promise that I won’t keep hassling you all the time and ask if you’re okay every five minutes. But I just want you to know….I’m here……if you ever need me”.  
  
Sam bit on his lip and looked into his brother’s green eyes. “I know….” he said sincerely.  
  
“Okay” Dean said, satisfied for now as he started the engine of the car. “Lets go roast ourselves a Daeva”.  
  
Laughing, the younger hunter smiled and laid a hand to rest on his stomach, intending to keep it in place for the whole journey, in the hope he would feel another small flutter from within. “Yeah……extra crispy!”.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It took a week to wrap up the hunt, which did indeed turn out to be a Daeva controlled by some lame-ass demon, who they also eliminated without any hitches. To celebrate, the hunters decided to head upstate a little, opting for a rural town to stay in for a few days before they turn back around and head back to Bobby’s again.  
  
The tired hunters were sat in a road-side Café, close to where their Motel was.  
  
“You sure I can’t tempt you with a beer? You are allowed to have one once in a while, you know” the older hunter said as he raised his bottle and then took a satisfying swig.  
  
Sam shook his head. “No….I’m okay with my soda. Besides, someone needs to be responsible and drive” he said practically. His stomach rumbled furiously as he waited for their food to arrive. He had been so occupied with the hunt and his brother, that he hadn’t consciously been aware that his baby had been moving. But now they were sat, almost in silence, he felt a flurry of little flutters. He grinned manically at the movements, each one making it more real for him.  
  
“What’s with the happy face Mr Sunshine?” Dean asked his brother as he stretched his arm out across the back of the plastic seat.  
  
“Do I need to give a reason? I’m just glad that we’ve wrapped up another hunt. That damn demon was one whiny bitch, right? Her face was priceless when we sent her sorry ass back to hell! Getting the Daeva to do all of her dirty work…..pathetic” Sam recalled with glee as his attention was drawn back to the present conversation.  
  
Dean laughed at his brother’s enthusiasm. “That’s my Sammy” he said leaning across and patting his sibling on the shoulder. “One less pathetic demon around. Plenty more out there though. Think we should get rid of a few more en-route to Bobby’s?”.  
  
Sam almost got distracted by the arrival of their food as he eyed up his steak hungrily as the waitress laid his plate down in front of him. “I wouldn’t push your luck too much Dean, you’re still not back to full capacity. I think we should go small fry for a bit, do a bit of spring cleaning on some unwanted house guests. I think we’ve poked a few too many demons with a stick recently….I think they‘re starting to get a little more than pissed off at us” he said as he stabbed at his slab of meat and sheared through it effortlessly with his knife before shoving a portion into his salivating mouth.  
  
The older hunter picked up his burger and pulled out the lettuce and tomatoes and covered the whole thing in ketchup before gorging on a huge mouthful almost as ungraciously as his brother. Seeing as they seemed to have regained their trust in each other again and lost any animosity between them, Dean was inclined to agree with his brother. He nodded his head showing his agreement as he chewed the mammoth sized bite of burger. His eyes were drawn to the headline of the discarded newspaper that lay next to him on the seat. Swallowing hastily, he picked it up and threw it down in front of his brother. “And I think we’ve found our next case. Is this small fry enough for you?” he asked as he pointed to the article about some unusual going on’s in a Hotel.  
  
“Hhhm…yeah, that will do. A vengeful spirit at the worst plus it’s on the way back down to Bobby’s. It’s worth checking out” Sam said as he read the two paragraphs of small writing. We’re at least going to get some sleep tonight though, right?”.  
  
Dean nodded his head as he swallowed another mouthful, washed down with another swig of beer. “Oh yeah, for sure. Unusual activity in a Hotel means a disturbed and sleepless night…or several as the case may be. We’ll head over there tomorrow morning, maybe do some digging into it tonight, see if we can find out anything else that will give us some more clues into what we‘re going to be dealing with?”.  
  
Sam had cleared his plate within minutes and pushed it to one side. He grabbed the dessert menu and started to scour through the selection of puddings and ice-creams. “Yep, sounds good to me” he said absent-mindedly as he fixated on a chocolate brownie ice-cream sundae. “I’m ordering pudding, do you want anything else?”.  
  
The older hunter put his half-eaten burger down on his plate and took another long swig from his bottle. “No, I’m good, I‘m still on my first course. Just another beer please”.  
  
“Okay. I’ll be back in a few minutes” the pregnant hunter sang back as he sidled across the seat and squeezed out from behind the table and got to his feet.  
  
Dean watched his brother walk away up to the counter to place their order. His brother seemed to walk more controlled, slower and more careful, his legs more bowed. His hips looked wider and appeared to sway as he walked. A needy throb of desire burned in his groin as he lusted after his brother. Whatever it was that was different about Sam, he wanted him even more than ever. As he watched his brother walk back over, he realised that he was probably staring too much and hastily stuffed the rest of his burger into his mouth as a distraction and so that he could have a few moments to compose his thoughts and desires before having to speak to him.  
  
“Here you go” Sam said casually as he pushed the bottle of beer over to his brother. He put his change into his wallet and stuffed it back into the inner pocket of his jacket.  
  
“Thank you…” the older hunter managed to get out once he’d finished chewing and swallowed. He couldn’t get anymore words out, nothing comprehensible anyway. He was aware that his brother was just staring at him, trying not to laugh. “What’s so funny?”.  
  
Sam cleared his throat and passed a napkin to his brother. “You might want to clean your face a bit. There’s ketchup everywhere. What did you do, miss your mouth?”.  
  
Dean snatched the napkin from his brother and began to wipe his chin. “Dammit!”.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A week and hundreds of miles later , the Winchester brothers pulled up outside Bobby Singer’s house once again.   
  
Dean jumped out of the car excitedly as soon as he killed the engine. “Bobby! Where’s that beautiful Mustang? I want to take her for a ride to see what fine tuning I need to do on her!”.  
  
Bobby laughed and handed the keys over which he had ready in his hand knowing the anticipation of the oldest Winchester. “Hi to you too” he said amusedly as he watched the older sibling jump straight into the done up Mustang.  
  
Sam walked slowly over to the older man as he stretched out his aching back and legs from the long car journey. “He hasn’t shut up about that damn Mustang since Idaho”.  
  
Waving off Dean as he sped away in the Mustang, Bobby then turned his attention to the younger hunter. “What the hell where you doing in Idaho?”.  
  
“We were checking out this Hotel. Turns out the previous owner who died like 50 years ago still bears a grudge” Sam said as he watched the Mustang disappear round the corner, the noise of the engine growing fainter and fainter until it had disappeared entirely. His hand circled his stomach thoughtfully.  
  
Bobby looked down at Sam’s expanded stomach and raised an eyebrow questioningly.  
  
The pregnant hunter quickly pulled his coat around him tightly and gave the suspicious hunter a cautious look.  
  
“I take it your brother still doesn’t know then….” the older hunter asked judgementally. “There’s no way you’d still be hunting if he did. He‘d never allow it to happen”.  
  
“No….but I‘m being careful” Sam admitted remorsefully. “Look at him Bobby…….he’s happy and he finally seems to be getting over his ordeal and worked out most of his issues. I don’t want to ruin that for him”.  
  
“Why would you ruin that for him? You don’t think that he’d want this? A family of his own?” Bobby lectured. “He thinks the world of you Sam. Hell you are his whole world. It would complete him”.  
  
Sam just shrugged his shoulders. He put his hand over his stomach which was concealed under his bulky clothing as he felt a flutter from within. He smiled at how much stronger the movements were the past few days.  
  
“I think Dean will notice when you’ve doubled in size….or when the kid pops out of you, how are you going to explain that, huh?” Bobby said, trying to get the other hunter to rationalise.  
  
Sam’s hand circled the circumference of his belly before dropping it lazily down to his side. He sighed. “I am going to tell him….I’m just waiting for the right time”.  
  
Bobby scoffed. “The right time?! How long have you had to tell him, Sam?”.  
  
“….I have tried, I really have, I want him to know….but the longer this goes on the harder it is to tell him. I don’t know if he’s ready to deal with being a father yet…he’s still so fragile…” Sam tried to reason and make the older hunter see some sense and come round to his way of thinking. “Our situation is messed up and complicated……”.  
  
Bobby’s eyes flew open. “Dean’s the father? Yeah….of course he his…..”.  
  
Sam panicked. He hadn’t meant it to come out that way. “I thought that you knew that. It only happened the once….”.  
  
To his own surprise, Bobby wasn’t as shocked as he should have been or thought that he should have been. He subconsciously already knew that but hearing it out loud made it real. The pregnant hunter needed someone to confide in right now, not someone to lecture him and judge him for his decisions, so he kept his cool. “Do you love him?”.  
  
“Of course I love him, he’s my brother…….” Sam said sadly.  
  
The older hunter ran his hand up and down the back of his neck. “That’s not what I meant Sam…..do you love him?”.  
  
The pregnant hunter started to tear up. This was the first time that he was going to admit this out loud. “Yeah I love him….that’s why I’m doing what I’m doing. Please Bobby, you don’t have to agree with me on this, but you can’t say anything. Not until I’m ready….not until Dean is ready”.   
  
Bobby smiled kindly. “I’ll give you my word Sam, I promise. I’m always faithful even when I don’t necessarily agree with the terms. Just assure me that you’ll tell Dean. I mean really soon. You can’t hide forever. Do you know he rang me last week? He said he was worried about you and did I know what was wrong with you…”.  
  
“Really? What did you tell him?” the pregnant hunter asked, panic and fear rising in his voice. What does he suspect?”.  
  
“Relax Sam. He just said that you weren’t yourself that’s all. I didn’t tell him anything. I just said that if and when you’re ready to talk, you’ll let him know” the older hunter said calmly, but clearly uncomfortable with the whole scenario.  
  
Sam sighed with relief. “Thank you Bobby. I’m really sorry for putting you in this predicament. That was never my intention”.  
  
To the younger hunter’s surprise, Bobby smiled kindly. “I know you’re not deliberately hurting anyone here Sam. I think it’s admirable that you want to protect your brother like this. But he needs to know, before it gets any further”.  
  
“I promise I’ll tell him. And soon. I’m just going to sit down with him and tell him straight. Besides, I can’t hide this for much longer” Sam said, rubbing his hands over his stomach, emphasising the size for effect.  
  
“As long as you’re looking after yourself then that’s all that matters. When was the last time you saw a doctor?” the older hunter asked concernedly.  
  
“A couple of months ago, just after that werewolf jumped us. I had a scan to confirm that everything was okay. I’m being more careful now, there’s no way that I’d deliberately put my baby in jeopardy” the pregnant hunter said sincerely, smiling as he looked down at his swell. “Money’s a bit of a problem….”.  
  
“God damn it Sam…...here’s some money“ Bobby said as he took out a roll of money and handed it over. “Please go and see a doctor, book an appointment right now”.  
  
Sam took the money apprehensively. “That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t asking for money. I can’t take it from you”.  
  
Bobby kept his hand out. “Just take it Sam, please”.  
  
“Is this in exchange of me telling Dean?” Sam asked apprehensively.  
  
Bobby sighed wearily. “No. There’s no catch Sam. I just want to help, that’s it, nothing more”.  
  
Sam sighed and relaxed and stashed the money deep into his pockets. “Thank you Bobby. You are pretty darn awesome. You’re going to be an amazing grandpa to this baby”.  
  
“Grandpa?” Bobby checked, as he choked up.  
  
“Yeah, of course. Who else is it going to be?” Sam pointed out.  
  
Nodding his head, the weary older hunter cleared his throat and smiled. “I…..I guess so. Wow. I’ll be honoured, thank you Sam” he said as he drew him into a hug.  
  
Sam smiled back and patted his aspired mentor on the back before pulling away from the embrace. “It’s the least I can do after everything you‘re doing for me….”.  
  
In the distance, the nearing sound of the rumbling Mustang came closer. Bobby nodded his head and prompted the younger hunter to follow him. “Let’s get you inside. No doubt your brother will want something to eat in a couple of minutes”.  
  
The pregnant hunter walked solemnly towards the front door as he watched the Mustang get nearer to them. “Food sounds good to me too” he said as he caught a glimpse of the car before he turned back around and headed inside.  
  
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Bobby had given the eldest Winchester several tasks around the scrap yard to see him through a good few hours while Sam was able to attend his hospital appointment secretly. Dean would be too immersed in his errands to even notice that his younger brother had slipped out for a couple of hours.  
  
“You’ve got the money, right?” Bobby spoke quietly to the younger hunter, not that he needed to because Dean had the stereo blasting his rock album from the car, which would drown out any conversation.  
  
Sam nodded his head. “Yes. And the fake health insurance card too. I’m not going to even ask where you got this from, but thank you”.  
  
“It’s probably best that you don’t know…..but let’s just say that a few people owe me some serious favours” the older hunter revealed. “Now get going or you’re going to be late. Drive carefully” he said as he ushered the young hunter inside the car and tapped on the hood.  
  
Pausing before he shut the car door, Sam smiled weakly at the older hunter. “Thank you again Bobby. You have no idea how grateful I am for this…..”.  
  
Bobby scoffed and then smiled in appreciation of the compliment. “Just name the kid after me or something….” he joked.  
  
Sam’s smiled widened as he shut the driver’s seat door and started up the ignition. He waved at the older hunter as he reversed the car back down the gravely drive. When he stopped to put the car into first gear, the baby gave it’s most forceful movement yet. “Hey pip! That’s quite a kick you got there now. I can’t wait to see how much you’ve grown. Your other daddy is going to get to see you real soon too, I promise” he whispered as his hand lingered on his stomach and then went onto the gear shifter and accelerated out of the scrap yard and into the direction of the clinic.  
  
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20 minutes later Sam was sat in yet another waiting room of another clinic waiting to be seen. One thing remained the same though- he was alone and went through the same thought processes and range of different emotions. His excitement was quickly replaced with anxiety, which in turn became feelings of joy and delight again.  
  
“Samuel Weston please?” a petite nurse announced as she scanned the half-full waiting room.  
  
The pregnant hunter had to look down at his paperwork to remind himself that that was indeed his pseudo name for today at least. He raised his hand and got to his feet and skulked down the corridor behind the nurse and followed her into one of the examination rooms.  
  
“If you get yourself changed into this gown and get up onto the examination table, the doctor will be with you in just a few minutes” the nurse explained.  
  
Sam nodded nervously. “Thank you”.   
  
By the time the young hunter had changed into the gown and made himself comfortable, albeit feeling slightly exposed and self-conscious- the doctor entered and introduced himself formally.  
  
The doctor took the paperwork from his patient and flipped over to the relevant page. “So you’ve just gone over 20 weeks then? The halfway mark?” he asked wanting to clarify.  
  
“Yeah. Just over halfway there actually….” the pregnant hunter re-iterated as it suddenly dawned on him.  
  
“Excellent….” the doctor muttered as he put down the notes and picked up the bottle of gel and squeezed some out liberally and put it on his patient’s stomach. “Sorry….it’s cold, but you’re probably used to that by now….”.  
  
Sam smiled and was about to say something in reply when his attention was suddenly diverted to the image on the screen. He didn’t need the doctor to point anything out to him this time, as the baby’s limbs and head were perfectly formed and visible. “Does everything look okay?”.  
  
The doctor moved the probe around and took some measurements and then nodded affirmatively. “Everything looks just great. The baby’s very active which is good, but it makes my job a little harder”.  
  
“Yeah, I’ve felt quite a bit of movement already” Sam admitted to the physician.  
  
“Do you want to know the sex of the baby?” the doctor asked as he continued the examination.  
  
Sam’s head shot around to look at the doctor in complete surprise and joy. “Can you tell what it is?” he asked.  
  
The physician nodded his head. “Yes, I can see quite clearly if you’d like to know”.  
  
“Wow, I….no….I want it to be a surprise. As long as it looks healthy, then I want to wait” the pregnant hunter said as he relaxed back down onto the examination table. He felt the flutters increase in response to the probe.  
  
After clicking a few more buttons on the machine, the doctor put the probe back in it’s holder and wiped off the sticky gel from his patient’s stomach. “I can’t see anything that would concern me today. The heart is strong and the other organs are functioning properly, and the baby’s growing just as it should and is measuring right on target at just under 21 weeks”.  
  
Exhaling with relief, Sam’s face erupted into a beaming smile. “Thank you” he said as he got up from the bed and gathered up his clothes.  
  
Scribbling something in the notes, the doctor then handed over the newly printed out picture and handed it to his patient. “We’re all done here, I’ll leave you to dress” he said as he left the young hunter to it.  
  
Sam took the photo and ran his fingers over the glossy surface for a few moments. “Hey pip. Not long now. You’re so beautiful. Wait until your other daddy gets to see you” he spoke softly as a tear formed in his eye. He folded it up and put it in his wallet next to the other ones. “So daddy doesn’t miss a thing….”.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The younger hunter returned to the house to find Bobby in the kitchen sorting out an arrangement of nuts, and potato chips and filling up bowls with the snacks.  
  
“Hey Sam” Bobby said nonchalantly.   
  
Before the younger hunter had a chance to reply, his brother came charging in through the door.  
  
“Has it started yet?” Dean asked as he wiped his greasy hands on his already grease stained clothes.  
  
Bobby snapped his head round to answer, frowning at how dirty the older sibling’s white t-shirt and jeans were. “You’ve got about 10 minutes until they kick off. You all finished with the Mustang? You’ve been at her all day!”.  
  
Dean exhaled loudly and headed over to the sink to rinse the worse of the dirt and oil from his hands. “Yeah…..a couple more little tweaks and she’s good to go. You can sell her on to a new owner. I’ll be sad to see her go…but I’d rather she was on the road and doing what she does best”. He turned the taps off and reached for the dish cloth.  
  
“Nuh uh….not the dish cloth. Use the old rag” the oldest hunter said as he quickly grabbed the cloth away from the dirty hunter’s hands.  
  
Shrugging his shoulders, Dean just wiped his hands on the back of his jeans. “Don’t worry about it….I’m going to hit the shower. Put the beer in the fridge all ready for me and I’ll be down in 10” he said as he grabbed a handful of peanuts from one of the bowls.  
  
“Hey!” Bobby shouted as he removed the bowl of nuts from the other hunter’s grasp. “Get going in the shower boy….”.  
  
Sam laughed at his brother’s antics with the other hunter. He watched him leave and heard him storming up the stairs and then slamming the bathroom door shut and start the shower up straight away. “I forgot about the game…..it’s the game of the season, right?”.  
  
Bobby nodded his head once. “Yeah, it’s a pretty important one. Never mind about that, how did the appointment go?”.  
  
Smiling, the pregnant hunter reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out his wallet. His hand went immediately to the newest scan photo and handed it to the older man. “Everything is perfect. I’ve decided to wait to find out the sex. I want it to be a surprise so….”.  
  
“Wow……it looks like a little person…I know that’s a silly thing to say, but it does. It’s incredible” he said as he studied the black and white mottled image in his hands. After a few more moments of inspecting the photo, he handed it back over.  
  
Sam put the photo back in it’s secure place and tucked the wallet back into the deep pocket of his jacket which he then removed and put on the back of one of the chairs. “I’m going to tell him Bobby. When we hit the road again, I’m going to tell him. I think that he’s ready now, he needs to know” he said nervously, but trying to refrain from smiling at the thought, despite his reservations.  
  
Bobby smiled with relief. “I’m glad to hear that. I think that we need to give your brother the benefit of the doubt here. But…..I just want you to know that whatever happens…..you’re always welcome here….you’ve got me, I’m not going to bail on you. You can‘t continue living like you do, my home is now yours too……and Deans”.  
  
“Thank you…..thank you Bobby. I don‘t know what I would do without you” Sam replied with the greatest of sincerity. At least he could count on his mentor for support. He had the backup that he needed of a stable home. His eyes started to glisten with tears. Inhaling deeply and wiping his eyes quickly he was then able to speak again. “Damn hormones……..” he laughed.  
  
“No problem kid. Your daddy might not have been as tolerant, but I promised that I’d do whatever I could to look after you and your brother and I’m not going back on my word now…especially if I‘m going to become a grandad…” the older hunter said. “Now enough girl talk, let’s go watch the game and drink a few beers……well maybe soda for you……”.  
  
“Did I hear beer?” Dean asked as he wandered back into the kitchen, towel drying his hair, but in clean clothes.  
  
Sam changed his tone quickly and laughed at his brother. “There’s no getting anything past you! Beer and cars and you‘re in…..”.  
  
Dean stuck his tongue out at his brother. “When beer is involved, I‘m there” he mocked back as he looked at his watch. “Come on, the game is about to start, where’s the damn nuts and potato chips?”.  
  
“Well isn’t he just a demanding little bitch!” Bobby said jokingly.  
  
“Hey! I’ve been working hard all day” the older sibling protested as he flopped down onto the couch and grabbed the remote control to switch the television on where the crowds were warming up for the match.  
  
The pregnant hunter gathered up some bottles of beer and water in his arms when the oldest hunter intervened and gave him a cautionary look.  
  
“I’ll take them Sam, it’s okay. Go and sit down” Bobby told him sternly as he took them from him and ushered him to sit down.  
  
Sam put the bottles back down and swapped them for two small bowl of nuts. “It’s fine…..” he mouthed back at his mentor but just received another watchful glare. Admitting defeat, he went to sit down on the smaller couch next to his brother. He plumped up a cushion behind his aching back and brought another one round the front and cradled it in his arms in front of his stomach.  
  
Bobby handed a freshly opened beer bottle to Dean and put the rest of the beverages and snacks down on the coffee table in between them and sat down next to the older hunter on the larger of the two couches. “Have I missed anything yet?” he asked as he un-capped his beer and took a well deserved swig.  
  
Dean leaned back and put his feet up on the table and increased the volume on the television. “Nope, not as yet. They’re going to kick-off at any second….it‘s going to be sweet!”.  
  
“We’re going to be kicking your ass, you’ve not got a chance!” Bobby teased playfully.  
  
“Yeah right…..” the older hunter said, replying to the friendly banter. “Tell him he has no chance Sammy……”.  
  
Sam shrugged his shoulder and perked up somewhat. “What game are we watching here? Wait….that beefed up dude is the quarterback right?” he asked as he observed the TV screen.  
  
“It’s football Sam. You’ve played football before, right? When you were at college?” Dean asked his younger brother. “Surely?!”.  
  
“Uh…” Sam started to say, looking at his brother and then to Bobby for help. “Not so much…..”.  
  
Dean put his bottle of beer down and leant forwards on the couch and looked to his brother. “Okay…..crash course…..” he said smiling as he went on to explain the rules of the game.  
  
Sam smiled back at his brother, zoning out as he just concentrated on the velvety, reassuring tone of his brother’s voice, nodding every once in a while. He turned his head slightly to look towards his father figure.  
  
Bobby winked at the younger hunter, giving him further reassurance and to back up his earlier promises and to tell him to relax.  
  
The pregnant hunter’s smile widened and he felt the weight lift from his shoulders exponentially and revelled in the familiar comfort of what he now believed to be home.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	21. Chapter 21

_Sam opened his eyes just as the morning sun was peeking through the curtains with the promise of a glorious, sunny day._  
  
His hand went out to the other side of the bed and felt for the familiar form of his brother. His other hand went out to his heavily distended abdomen where their child was growing. As he felt a swift movement, his free hand caressed the soft skin to calm the baby down.  
  
“Morning gorgeous” Dean said sleepily. “Did you sleep well? Or did this little one keep you up all night again?” he asked as his hand joined his brother’s on the mound between them.  
  
“I slept amazingly well, considering pip is awake too. She’s kicking so hard right now, can you feel her?” Sam asked speaking softly, afraid that if he spoke louder, the baby would stop moving around.  
  
“Yes….I can feel him” the older hunter said, emphasising the last word “I can’t believe that he’ll be here in just a few weeks time…..”.  
  
Sam smiled and turned his body slightly to face his brother. “Yes she will…you know that I’m right…..it‘s definitely a girl”.  
  
Dean shook his head and then nestled it onto his brother’s shoulder. “It’s a boy, for sure. Either way, I don’t care. It’s a little part of both of us. I love you so much Sam, thank you for giving this to me”.  
  
“I love you too Dean…..” Sam said as he wriggled closer to the father of his unborn child. He closed his eyes and let the warmth of the sunshine rain down on him.  
  
There was no reason for him to move, he just wanted to lie here in his brother’s arms, feeling the movements from their baby forever. He didn’t want this moment to ever end.  
  
  
Sam woke up suddenly and instinctively put his arm out to the other side of the bed. Disappointingly it was cold and empty. The only thing that was the same, was the baby moving around inside of him. He willed his eyes to close again so that he could continue the dream he had just awoken from. It was perfect, it was all that he wanted-simplicity, just him and Dean and their baby together.   
  
Was that dream really going to be that hard to achieve? This gave him more fire in his belly to gear himself up to tell his brother.  
  
Would his reverie play out like he had dreamt? Or would the scenario play out and end like the current situation- a cold empty bed?  
  
This was the fifth night in a row that he’d had this dream and he’d had enough. He was going to strive to achieve that, to reach his ultimate goal. Today they would be leaving Bobby’s and hitting the road again. And tonight was going to be the night.  
  
Tonight, he had decided, was going to be when he tells Dean.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam was pacing around their Motel room as he waited for his brother to return. His brother had gone out a few hours ago and it was now late in the evening. He had been rehearsing all day during their car journey, the exact words that he was going to say to his brother. Everything was planned out, that’s all he needed now was his brother.  
  
He decided to lie down on the bed and watch the television, so that he wouldn’t tire himself out and to take his mind off the wait. As soon as they had arrived at their room a few hours earlier, Dean had declared that he was going out. Sam had decided to stay behind and put his feet and give himself some more time to plan out what he was going to say. The baby could sense his nervous energy and was wriggling about inside of him.  
  
After settling on some cheesy classic film, he settled back in the bed and tried to calm himself down as his mind went over all of the possible scenario’s.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dean had only intended on having a couple of beers just to unwind, but he had lost count after his fifth, or sixth.  
  
He left the bar and started his staggered walk back to the Motel room. He shook his head and tore up the pieces of paper that had cell phone numbers on from the numerous women that had hounded him all night. He wasn’t interested in any of them- not in the slightest. There was only person that he wanted to see- wanted to be with-and that person was waiting for him in the Motel room.  
  
His heart ached and longed for only one person. Why was he being such a coward and refusing to give in to his feelings? Maybe tonight would be the night. There was definitely something more between them and he was damn sure that Sam felt that too.  
  
Should he just cut his losses and confess, right now? Using the alcohol for courage and as a barrier or protection? He didn’t know how much longer this could go on for and it needed to be said- he would deal with the consequences in the morning like he would with his hangover.   
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam could hear approaching footsteps from outside and like a reflex action he flicked the switch on the remote control to turn off the television. As he sprung to his feet the door swung open and his brother staggered in.  
  
Dean was like a deer caught in the headlights as he wasn’t expecting his brother to be stood right in front of him waiting for him. “Hey Sammy” he managed sheepishly.  
  
Sam managed a half-hearted smile. “Hey….”.  
  
“I wasn’t expecting you to wait up for me…..” the older hunter said as he tried to act sober.  
  
“I uh….it’s only 9pm….not really waiting up for you…..” Sam said as he looked at his watch awkwardly. “Well…..actually, there’s something we need to talk about. I need to tell you something”.  
  
“Okay….uh…” the older hunter said anxiously as he shuffled from one foot to another.   
  
“Why don’t we sit down” the pregnant hunter suggested as he gestured to one of the beds.  
  
The two hunters both sat down ineptly, the tension between them growing exponentially.  
  
Swallowing back a lump in his throat, Sam exhaled deeply and slowly and started to speak as his brother looked on at him expectantly, waiting for the conversation to initiate between them. This was it, it was going to happen and there was no going back. “Dean…..do you remember that night about 5 months ago….do you remember what happened, what we did? I know that you do…..”. When his brother’s face didn’t show any signs of recognition, he elaborated. “We had sex Dean……”.  
  
Dean’s face turned from being serious into a smile, for just a second. And then as the realisation hit him, his face turned into a look of disbelief. “Of course I do Sammy, of course I do. You remember that too?” he asked as he shuffled a fraction of an inch closer to his brother.  
  
Sam nodded his head and gasped softly. “Yeah. It was never brought up afterwards so I assumed that you didn’t remember….or that you chose not to…but the truth is…..”.  
  
“Sssh Sam, it doesn’t matter” Dean said interrupting his brother’s train of thought.  
  
“No…this needs to be said….” Sam said confidently. He was halfway there so he was going to get through the rest of it. “Something happened that night, something so amazing and incredible……” he said as his hand went down to the underside of his stomach.  
  
Dean moved up even closer to his brother until there was only a fraction of fresh air between them. His breathing hitched up a notch. “I know….it’s okay Sam….I felt it too…..God….I still do…it was magical…it felt so right…made me feel complete…..”. He gently put his hand on his brother’s thigh and rubbed it up and down comfortingly.  
  
Sam closed his eyes to relish the moment and put his hand over his brother’s. He had lost his train of thought, but he didn’t care, this was even better than he had planned. His brother’s lips were so nearly pressed up against his, he could almost taste them. “Dean…..” he said opening his eyes and letting them sink into the hazel-green pools of his brother’s eyes  
  
“You don’t need to say anymore. I love you Sam and I know that you love me too. It’s okay….I know you’re scared, I am….but there’s no need to be….I promise you everything’s going to be okay….” Dean said as his other hand tugged on his brother’s shirt, pulling him closer up against him.  
  
Closing his eyes, Sam let his forehead rest on his brother’s and he closed his eyes again. “I love you too. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to hear those words from you…..so long….that’s why I need to tell you something…”.  
  
Dean shook his head and pressed a finger to his sibling’s lips to silence them. He gently pushed Sam down onto the bed and ran his hand through the silky hair, pushing the bangs from his brother’s face so he could focus entirely on it. “God….you’re so beautiful….so damn beautiful and perfect…..you’re all I’ve ever wanted and all that I need….” he said before smacking his lips into his brother’s, crushing them into a tender, but needy, long-awaited kiss.  
  
Sam relaxed back into the bed and let his tongue mimic his brother’s, curious, intrepid and amazing. He pulled the older hunter down on top of him, his hands going blindly to the zipper on the older hunter’s jeans, in anticipation of what he hoped and prayed was going to come next.  
  
The older hunter helped his brother to lower down his jeans, pushing them off him all the while keeping up the kiss that was yet unbroken between them, as if sealed together like a magic spell. Dean then pulled them around again so that he was lying on the mattress and his brother was lying on top of him, breathless, hands exploring their bodies.  
  
The pregnant hunter, was too lost in the moment to notice at first, but then he could taste it on his brother’s breath. Alcohol. He grimaced and forcefully pulled away, separating their lips.  
  
Dean gasped. “Why d’ya stop Sam…..”.  
  
“You’ve been drinking Dean…..you’re drunk” Sam said as he looked down to find the top button of his shirt was undone. He sat up and fumbled around, quickly popping the button back into the hole.  
  
“No no no nooo….I’m not drunk Sammy….I’ve had a few beers, but I know what I’m doing…just like last time…I still remember every little detail…” Dean whined as he reached out to unbutton his brother’s shirt again.  
  
Sam shook his head forcefully, pulled away and got to his feet slowly, correcting his altered sense of gravity as he did so. He put his hand on his stomach mournfully. “I can’t believe I was going to let you in…..open my heart for you…..”.  
  
“You’re already in my heart Sam…..you always will be. I love you…please. It‘s taken me a while to figure that out….but I do…..always have, just been too scared to admit it….” the older hunter pleaded desperately as he sat up on the bed.  
  
“You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying…..I love you Dean but you keep breaking my heart…..there’s only so many times that it can be fixed” Sam said as he drew a long breath in and out, slowly to keep a hold on his emotions.  
  
Dean’s hand reached out dejectedly to his beloved brother. “I do mean it Sam….of course I do….and you’re breaking my heart right now…..you break my heart more and more every day the longer we‘re not together…..”.  
  
The baby kicked Sam rather forcefully causing him to wince slightly and rub his hand over his stomach. He went to lie down on the other bed, his back to his brother and pulled the covers up over him, enveloping him and shielding him, just like he was trying to do with his emotions right now. “I’m tired, please go to sleep….and sober up” he said, closing his eyes. His hand went out in front of him, and blinked back the tears as he felt the coldness and emptiness of the rest of the bed.  
  
Admitting defeat, Dean nodded his head sombrely and sank back into the pillow. He could hear the quiet sobbing of his brother in the bed next to him. The alcohol and his anxiety and distress made his head spin so he closed his eyes. “Goodnight Sam. I love you…..just know that….” he said, not expecting a reply, but equally hoping for one.  
  
Sam just stared straight ahead into the blackness of the room, hand braced up against his stomach, rubbing it softly to ease the baby’s apparent anxiety.  
  
Dean was right about one thing- he was going to be in a mess in the morning- it was going to be the worst hangover ever and one that wouldn’t be relieved by pain killers and a greasy fry-up.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dean awoke the next morning, very groggy. The first thing that hit him was the blinding headache and the aversion to the sunlight filtering in through the moth-eaten blinds. The next thing that he felt was the un-ease and discomfort in the pit of his stomach- nothing to do with being nauseous from the hangover. This was more like a pit- a crater- a big, empty hole that hadn’t been there last night.  
  
Looking around the empty Motel room spurred his memory into remembering last night. He had opened his heart to his brother, confessed everything and he was shot down just as quickly. He could still taste the delicious scent of his brother’s lips on his, and the smell of his aftershave was still clinging to his own shirt. Shamefully he looked down at himself to find that he was still without his jeans, as he remembered what they had nearly done, but regretfully hadn’t. Why did he have to wait until he had alcohol in his system before he could confess all. He may have just ruined his chances forever.  
  
The next thing that went through the older hunter’s mind was why the room was empty. Their duffel bags that usually sat at the foot of their beds had gone and the door to the closest was open, the empty clothes hangers, hanging visibly empty where their clothes had been just hours previously. Panicking he jumped out from the bed, stepping into his jeans and tugging them up rather ungracefully. “Please Sammy…..please tell me that you haven’t left……“. Before his mind could mull over anything else the door flew open.  
  
Sam hadn’t expected his brother to be awake just yet. His eyes were red and puffy from crying himself to sleep last night.  
  
“Were you leaving?” Dean asked suddenly, his voice showing signs of panic.  
  
“Go and get your coat Dean. We’re leaving right now. I’ve packed everything ready in the car” Sam said, showing no signs of emotion, in a robot like state.  
  
“Leaving?” the older hunter questioned. “Together? But….last night….I think that we need to talk about what happened, don’t you think?”.  
  
Sam pursed his lips together for a second. “No…we’re done with that. Brush your teeth first ‘cos your breath is disgusting and I‘m going to be stuck in the car with you all day. I’ll meet you in the car in 2 minutes, if you’re not here by then, then I’m leaving without you”.  
  
Dean went to open his mouth to protest but was cut short by his brother.  
  
“And don’t even think about it. I’m driving….you’re in no fit state to” Sam ordered. His face remained completely blank and was giving no clues to his state of mind or feelings. He turned on his heels and walked out the door, leaving his stunned older brother to sway on the balls of his feet in a state of shock and regression.   
  
After recovering for a second, Dean knelt down and recovered his shoes from under the bed.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam had driven for a few hours until he had decided that he could do no more and had decided to stop in a Motel.  
  
This had been their most awkward journey yet- neither of them speaking a word. Dean had tried to sleep off his hangover, but his sleep was interrupted from the angst and emotional turmoil. Every now and again he would glance over to his brother and smile, and then open his mouth to say something, then realising that he couldn’t find the right words to make it better, he would turn away again and close his eyes and pray that sleep would find him.   
  
Sam forced himself to focus entirely on the road, not daring to even look in the passenger wing mirror, for fear of catching a glimpse of his brother. The miles of road whizzed past in a blur, the scenery all blending into one, until the sleep deprivation had caught up with him, forcing him to find the nearest town and pull up to the first Motel he could come across.  
  
Dean opened his eyes when the engine of the Impala came to a halt and was switched off. He sat up in his seat and glanced around the vicinity to find that they were at a typical small-town Motel.  
  
The pregnant hunter stepped out of the car and went straight to the trunk to get only the duffel bag that he would need for the night. The older hunter quickly rescued his bag from the trunk before Sam closed it shut again forcefully.  
  
“So we’re not even going to speak to each other at all now then?” Dean asked his brother, breaking into a run to catch up with his taller brother as he raced across the parking lot to the reception desk of the Motel. “Dude, come one….”.  
  
Sam ignored his brother’s pleas and was glad to be saved by the clerk at the desk. “Hi, we would like to book in please” he asked, painting a painfully obvious fake smile on his face.  
  
“Two singles?” the clerk, an elderly woman asked as she looked between the two young hunters.  
  
“Yes” Sam replied. “Two separate rooms please…..” he added. “For a week…..”.  
  
Dean’s throat constricted as he looked on helplessly at his brother. “Separate rooms? For a week? Why pay out double when we only need one room”.  
  
The elderly woman could sense some sort of conflict going on here, but from experience, she decided to not get involved.   
  
“Mastercard okay?” the younger hunter asked, as he pulled out one of the bogus credit cards from his wallet. “If you don’t like it Dean, then I’ll cancel your room and you can sleep in the car…..”.  
  
“No…..it’s fine…..I’ll take the room…” the older hunter said sadly.  
  
Sam quickly scribbled a fake signature on the booking receipt and took back the card, stuffing it in his pocket in his haste. He picked up one of the keys to a room, leaving the other one on the desk for his brother to pick up.  
  
Dean quickly cottoned on and retrieved his keys and pursued his brother down the corridor. Before he could reach him, Sam had opened the door to his room and slammed it shut behind him, locking it.  
  
The older hunter sighed loudly and banged on the door with his balled up fists. “Sam…..come on, this is stupid. We need to work this out…..we need to fix this….please”. When there was no reply, he banged his head against the door, relishing in the pain that it caused, making his headache worse. After a few minutes, accepting defeat, he found his room, directly opposite his brother’s and let himself in. He slumped down on the bed, throwing his duffel bag haphazardly down on the floor. Something in the bag, made a clinking sound. He bent down to retrieve it and pulled everything out of his bag until he found what he was looking for- his beloved bottle of Whiskey. Uncapping it, he then drank from it, like it was water, each mouthful burning in his throat, blurring out some of the pain.  
  
Sam was mulling over some things and trying to make some major decisions. Bobby’s offer was looking very tempting indeed now. He knew that he needed to break free from his brother for a while, but he was still clinging to the last few strands of hope that things would magically heal themselves and that he would still get his happy ending. Eventually, after several hours of tireless deliberation, and going round in circles, he succumbed to some long, over due sleep.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dean had left his brother alone for a few days, knowing that they both needed some space. He could see the Impala from his room and it was left right where it was parked three days ago. Despite the animosity, his brother would never up and leave him, not like this anyway, or so he hoped.  
  
He had even sat down and tried to write his brother a letter, to try and explain how he felt. After using up an entire stack of sticky notes, he hadn’t come up with anything after ‘Dear Sammy’. He knew how he felt, but couldn’t put it down into words, somehow. Every so often, he would hear his brother leave his room, presumably to get supplies and food, just like he had to do a few times a day, but had decided not to cross paths with him just yet, respecting his privacy.  
  
Sam had also wallowed in self pity. He was thankful that his brother had taken the hint and had not hindered him or bothered him as yet, which gave him time to recover from the turmoil. The saving grace for the younger hunter had been Bobby who had rung him to ask if there was any news with relation to him sending a ‘Congratulations’ card to them. It had taken a few days before he could fully open to his mentor, trying to manoeuvre the eldest hunter onto another topic, but then the pregnant hunter disclosed everything which helped immensely, being able to talk about with someone.  
  
Bobby, had repeated his promise, saying that Sam was welcome any time and would always have a home and a stable environment to bring up the baby in. In fact he had even go so far as to suggest that he move him with him soon, before his pregnancy advanced much further and that they would deal with telling Dean about the baby together.  
  
It wasn’t until the fifth day that the two estranged hunter’s met each other again face to face.  
  
Sam came out of his Motel room just as his brother was.  
  
“Hey…..” Dean said, initiating the conversation between them as he turned to key in the lock.  
  
“Hey….” the younger hunter replied, tucking his room keys in his jeans pocket.  
  
“How crap is this dump? I could have sworn that I saw a cockroach last night. It was freakin’ huge, scared the shit out of me” Dean admitted as he laughed openly, opting for some light humour to break the ice.  
  
The younger hunter blushed and to his own surprise, laughed and smiled. “You’re a hunter, you’ve seen and killed things that people only dream about and you’re scared about a little cockroach!”.  
  
Dean scratched the back of his neck shyly. “Yeah…..that’s pretty lame…..so, where are you headed to then?” he asked courageously, not wanting to push his luck, but at least they were talking now.  
  
Sam tugged nervously at one of his buttons on his shirt. “I’m starving, I’m going to get some food. Apparently the diner across the road isn’t too bad, figured I could give it a try”.  
  
“Oh……” the older hunter said. “That’s where I was headed too. I went there yesterday, their ranch burger is pretty good. Don’t worry, I’ll ring for a takeout instead….” he said as he turned on his heels.  
  
“Dean!” the pregnant hunter said. “It’s fine. You can come with me, it’s a free country. Please?” he asked, turning it into more of a plea than an option. He was taken by surprise when the baby kicked him hard in response to Dean’s voice. It had been very quiet and subdued the past few days, but it definitely seemed to like it’s other father’s voice. This brought a smile to his face.  
  
Unable to resist the dimples on his brother’s face when he smiled, and the pleading puppy dog eyes, the eldest hunter nodded his head. “Yeah, okay. I was torn between two burgers last night. Means I can try the southern fried chicken one tonight”.  
  
“Sounds good” Sam admitted as his stomach started to protest it’s lack of food.  
  
Dean giggle to himself. “I can’t believe that we’re talking about burgers…..”.  
  
Sam scoffed and then exhaled deeply. “I know. But it’s a start, at least we’re speaking to each now. Let’s just go from there and see what happens”.  
  
“Okay” the older hunter agreed as he nodded his head. “But I just want you to know, that everything I said the other night…….is true”.  
  
“Dean…..” the pregnant hunter began, but found himself unable to finish. He looked into his brother’s eyes, saw the desperation and vulnerability in his eyes. “I know……but things are really complicated right now…..we both just need some time to adjust…..it‘s not as straightforward as you think…”.  
  
“Okay….but just tell me one thing right now, and then I’ll give you as much time and space as you need…….do you feel the same way about me? I just need to know that I’m not chasing a lost cause here” the older hunter asked, keeping his tone of voice down to a minimum level.  
  
The pregnant hunter looked at his brother properly, for the first time in days. “I…..uh…..yeah, I do…..” he admitted after a long pause.  
  
Dean couldn’t help the smile that was rapidly forming on his face, with complete and utter relief. He wanted to jump up and down and scream to the world, but he kept up his word. “Thank you Sammy……that’s all I needed to know”.  
  
Sam nodded knowingly and then took a few steps forward. “Let’s go and eat, my stomach thinks that my throat has been cut”.  
  
“You’re a man after my own heart” the older hunter blurted out jokingly before he realised what he had said. “I mean….just….let’s go, after you” he prompted, like a true gentleman. He trudged down the corridor, with almost a spring in his step as he followed his brother, smiling uncontrollably as he went.


	22. Chapter 22

Sam woke on their last morning at their current Motel to the rain pounding on the windows. Him and Dean had tried to continue as normal as they could, but their topics of conversation rarely strayed far from hunting, and never ventured close to the reason for their underlying, unresolved tension. He got up from the bed and stretched out his back, groaning in discomfort at the knotted muscles. It felt like the baby had grown significantly in the last week, thus putting more pressure on his spine causing it to ache dully almost constantly.   
  
Strolling into the bathroom and stepping into the shower, letting the hot water work out the kinks in his back, his hands went out around his stomach. He had definitely grown quite substantially. Unless he worked out a way to resolve his issues with Dean and confess his pregnancy, it would become blatantly obvious in the coming weeks.  
  
He had decided that there was no way that he could carry on hunting for much longer. Every hunt was theoretically putting him and the baby in danger, never mind the fact that the burdens of pregnancy were getting harder with each passing day as it advanced further.  
  
They had decided on another small-fry hunt to deal with a pesky restless spirit that was occupying an abandoned house. The salt and burn wouldn’t be too hard to handle. After that, he was going to call time on hunting and reside with Bobby until he gave birth at least. He was as yet-undecided as to what to say to his brother, but he was going to give him a choice, to stay, or to carry on hunting alone. It was two words, that’s all he needed to say, two small words, but they would have such a profound effect.  
  
When the water ran cool, the pregnant hunter switched the water off and carefully stepped out of the shower stall, moaning softly at the ache in his back.  
  
“Hey pip, go easy on daddy, okay?” he said quietly as he rubbed the mound where his child grew. “Just another week or so, and then we’re going to rest and take things easy. We’ve come this far…..”.  
  
He finished drying himself off and then reached for his layers of clothes that would cover up his predicament and started to dress very slowly, taking care with each layer.  
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dean had bagged the driver’s seat, but Sam didn’t mind in the slightest, because that meant that he could push his seat all the way back and stretch out his long legs and spine.  
  
Despite the cold weather, the sun was pouring in through the window’s of the Impala and the pregnant hunter kept taking small sips of water. He could feel that he had started to sweat profusely through his multiple layers of clothing. His discomfort was growing as he got hotter and hotter, but he tried to put up with for as long as possible without drawing any attention to himself.  
  
“Are you okay Sam?” the older hunter asked as he looked at his brother who looked rather dazed and hot. He took note of the small beads of sweat that were forming on his brother’s forehead. Although he was driving, every now and again he looked over to check on his brother instinctively and had noticed his subtle signs of distress.  
  
Sam nodded as he fanned himself with his hands. He came over all dizzy and closed his eyes for a moment. “Yeah, I’m just really hot, it’s stifling in here, feel a bit faint that’s all” he said as he opened the window and stuck his head out, breathing in deeply, trying to let the cool breeze ease his flushed body.  
  
“Why don’t you take off some of those layers of clothes. I don’t understand why you need to wear so much, it’s no wonder that you’re nearly passing out. Take your jacket off at least” Dean suggested as he turned his attention back the road ahead.  
  
The pregnant hunter looked down at himself and tried to find a way out of this scenario. He figured that he’d be able to manage without his coat if he kept it draped over his lap. After promptly doing just that, he rolled up his sleeves and undid the top two buttons on his shirt. Adjusting the jacket on his lap he put his arms down on top of it as a further disguise. He exhaled deeply, in relief of finally being able to cool himself down. It didn‘t help that his brother had the fan on hot, blowing torrents of warm air over his body. “Do you mind if I turn this off?” he asked as his hand went over to the switch.  
  
Dean turned to look at his younger sibling again briefly. “Uh, sure. No problem” he said as he shivered slightly when the cool breeze from the open window caught him”.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said as he closed the window halfway. He adjusted the position of the fans so that the stream of cool air was blowing just on him and was pointing away from his brother. Downing the rest of his water he discovered another problem. The seatbelt was digging into him, pushing the baby lower down so that it was sitting directly on his bladder. Pulling at the seatbelt he tried to slacken it but it only gave him a few seconds of relief.  
  
“Are you alright, Sam?” the older hunter asked after he sensed that his brother was still fidgeting around in his seat restlessly despite the apparent relief of fresh air.  
  
“I’m fine” the pregnant hunter lied. “I’m going to try and sleep for a bit” he said closing his eyes and willing himself to sleep. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for, with his eyes closed, not being able to sleep, the cool air fanning him in an attempt to keep him cool.  
  
Sam felt the baby kick him, reminding him of his growing need. He was beyond restless now and would never be able to sleep unless he did something about it. “How long until the next pit stop?” he asked as he squirmed around in the passenger seat.  
  
Dean shrugged his shoulders. “Well the next one is about 50 miles…..I thought we could stop for lunch then”.  
  
“50 miles? Uh…..” the pregnant hunter groaned. “That’s too long, I kinda need to stop before then….” he said, embarrassed by his dilemma.  
  
“Dude, relax, I can do that in about 30 minutes, tops….” Dean said confidently as he pressed harder on the accelerator.  
  
“Dean please pull the car over…..I can’t wait that long, I really have to….. pee….please” the pregnant hunter pleaded as the need became suddenly urgent.  
  
Seeing his younger brother’s obvious discomfort, the older hunter pulled the car over to the side of the road immediately. “That’s all you had to do was ask Sammy…..”.  
  
As soon as the car came to an abrupt halt, Sam got out of the car, with some difficulty as he pushed himself up out of the seat.  
  
“You okay?” Dean asked concernedly.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine….just my damn back hurting…..I’ll be back in a couple of minutes, stay there” Sam said as he began to walk away, keeping hold of his jacket over his stomach protectively.  
  
Dean watched his brother walk away from the car. He was taking small, controlled steps despite his obvious urgency. His hand was braced up firmly against the small of his back for support. He definitely looked heavier, but after the last outburst about his weight gain, Dean decided he would refrain from commenting and keep that thought to himself. His brother was obviously sensitive about the whole thing, so he wouldn’t bring it up again anytime soon. He let his head flop back onto the head rest as he waited for his brother to return. Sam had been acting strange for weeks, or months if he was being truly honest to himself. But the last few days, his brother seemed more on edge, as if he kept wanting to say something to him but couldn’t. Now that they had cleared the air somewhat, he hoped that it would only be a matter of time before his brother spoke his mind.  
  
Sam returned to the car and sat back down in the passenger seat, sighing in relief and folded up his jacket again and placed it on his lap as before.  
  
“Feeling better now?” Dean asked, trying to initiate conversation between them again.  
  
“Yeah…..the fresh air was very much welcomed too” Sam said as he tried to make himself comfortable again. He moaned at the tight band of muscles in the lower part of his back.  
  
Dean noticed the flushed skin on his brother’s face, neck and chest and frowned slightly. “Are you running a fever or something?”.  
  
Sam ran his cool hands over his burning skin. He remembered reading just a few weeks ago that increased body temperature was another little joy of pregnancy and that it was probably going to become a bigger problem as things progressed further. “No….just got a little warm that’s all, being stuck in the car doesn’t really help matters”.  
  
The older hunter shivered and pulled his jacket around him to warm him up. Given that his brother was still suffering, he didn‘t want to make him worse by putting the heater back on. “Is your back still giving you some trouble Sammy?” he asked concernedly, trying anything he could to make his brother truly comfortable. The thought that he was in any sort of pain or discomfort made his heart ache. “I’ve got some vicodin in my duffel if you want some, I’ll go and get some for you now….” he said as he unbuckled his seatbelt.  
  
Sam’s eyes opened wide with panic. “No…..” he said as he grabbed his brother’s arm to stop him. “It’s fine. I don’t want any vicodin, nothing like that. It’s not good stuff to take and we can’t really take it for every little niggle or pain. I’ve dealt with much worse, I‘ll be fine once we walk around later”.  
  
Dean put his seatbelt back on reluctantly as he started up the engine again. “Okay, if you’re sure. We’ll stop by a pharmacy later on to see if we can get you some heat pads to put on your back. Would that be okay?”.  
  
Smiling at his brother’s obvious worry, Sam felt another pang of guilt. “Yeah, that sounds great, thank you Dean”.  
  
“It’s no problem. Just want to make sure that you’re okay…..I want to look after you like you’ve done with me” the older brother said sincerely as his hand went out to his brother’s.  
  
The pregnant hunter reached out for his sibling’s hand and closed his eyes when they touched, for a brief second, giving him hope and an assurance that he was going to stand by his promise. Sam pulled his hand away and put it back on his leg. “Let’s hit the road again”.  
  
Dean nodded his head enthusiastically as he put his hand back on the steering wheel of the Impala. He could still feel the warm spot on his hand that his brother had just touched. “Yeah….let’s go. If you need to stop again Sammy, just let me know okay, don’t suffer in silence”.  
  
“Okay, thank you” Sam said as he settled back into the passenger seat, ready for their next leg of the journey.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam dug his shovel into the ground, wincing at the pain in his back at every movement.  
  
Dean noticed his brother’s pain, and intervened. “Sam…..I’ll finish the rest off, go and sit down in the car or something” he said as he brutally dug down into the earth.  
  
“I’m okay…..it’s fine honestly” Sam said stubbornly as his back went into spasm again. He straightened up and then leant over the spade to get his breath back.  
  
The older hunter’s shovel hit something solid below. “Sam, please. We’re through, I can feel it. Go and get the lighter fluid, salt and matches from the trunk. I can finish off. If you’ve pulled a muscle in your back you need to rest”.  
  
“Okay….thanks” the pregnant hunter said reluctantly but in defeat nonetheless. Once he’d retrieved the items from the trunk, he handed them over to his brother who had just opened the casket.  
  
“Awesome. This is always my favourite bit. Unless…..do you want to do the honours?” the older brother asked as he was throwing down the salt and lighter fluid.  
  
Sam smiled at his brother’s enthusiasm. They had done this more times than they could remember but it was quite obvious that it still remained a novelty to his brother. “No, you’ve done most of the hard work, you can do it….” he said as he stood back from the grave.  
  
“Okay” Dean said as he struck a match and threw it down into the grave, eyes glinting as he watched the flames burn higher and more ferociously as it followed the path of the lighter fluid across the ancient decayed bones.  
  
When he was satisfied that the bones would continue to burn unaided, Sam picked up the shovels and went to put them up on his shoulders to carry them, but his older brother stopped him in his tracks.  
  
“Nuh uh Sammy, pass them here. You’re on bed rest, remember!” Dean reminded his brother.  
  
Sam let his brother take the heavy shovels from him. “Bed rest? That’s not necessary, I can assure you. Besides we need to have food first. There’s some things that we need to talk about…..”.  
  
Dean nearly dropped the shovels in surprise. His mouth suddenly dried up and his heart started to beat rapidly in his chest with a mixture of nerves and excitement. “Uh…..okay, yeah. I saw a homely looking diner a few miles back…”.  
  
The pregnant hunter forced a smile. “Yeah, that sounds as good a place as any”.  
  
“Great….I’ll just uh…..put these in the trunk…..” the older brother said awkwardly as he opened up the trunk of the Impala.   
  
Sam sat himself down in the passenger seat of the car and took some small controlled breaths in and out to calm himself down and build up to confessing to his brother. He was hoping that by being in a public place, the two of them wouldn’t get distracted like before, because he couldn’t and wasn’t going to go another day without his brother not knowing.  
  
As Dean drove, Sam kept opening and shutting his mouth, as he kept wanting to say it, but then finding that he was not able to actually say anything.  
  
They came to a halt and pulled up in the parking lot of the off-road diner. Dean jumped up out of the car, and Sam followed suit, but slower.  
  
“Dean wait up” the younger hunter shouted. “There’s something that I’ve been trying to tell you for a long time now. But I’ve been too scared…..”.  
  
Sam’s words stopped the older hunter dead in his tracks. He spun around and waited for his brother to catch up with him. “What is it Sam? There’s no reason to be scared to tell me anything…..” he said, in a reassuring tone.  
  
The pregnant hunter shivered in the cold evening air. The diner was a good few metres away from them and looked warm and inviting. But it had to be right here, right now, before he lost the will and momentum again. “I’m giving up hunting, for the foreseeable future at least…..”.  
  
Dean was suddenly distracted by something as he felt uneasy. “Ssshhh….Sam…..”.  
  
The younger hunter shook his head frantically. “No Dean, I need to tell you this now….I’m giving up hunting because….I’m pr…”.  
  
“No, seriously Sam, I said be quiet” Dean said in a harsh whisper as he pulled out his gun from the back of his jeans. “I think we’re being watched….”.  
  
“Oh crap….damn it!” Sam cursed as he reached for his own gun and armed himself with it.  
  
The older hunter heard a noise on the other end of the parking lot and turned his head around, drawing his gun up in front of his face.  
  
Sam felt uncomfortable and put his hand across his stomach. He was hoping that it was just an animal of some sort, but the way the lights outside the diner started flickering, he highly doubted that.  
  
A figure lurked in the darkness, and both the hunters caught a glimpse of it at the same time.  
  
Before he knew it, the younger hunter felt someone approach him from behind, and put their arms around him violently pulling him backwards, in a restraint. Sam was too weak to put up a fight to try to free himself. He suddenly panicked as he felt the baby move, realising that it was probably in jeopardy too.  
  
“Sam!” Dean shouted as he ran towards his brother to help him. As he did, another figure appeared from behind and grabbed his arms and held them tightly behind his back. Dean put all of his weight behind him and struggled as he tried to break free from the demon’s clasp. “Let me go you son-of-a-bitch” he said as he tried to overpower the demon who held him firm. “What the hell do you want? Whatever it is, it’s between you and me. Let my brother go” he said staring at the third lone demon straight in his eyes.  
  
The demon’s mouth curled around. “Dean, Dean, Dean. You really don’t get this do you. It must be my lucky day. Two Winchester’s for the price of one…..you‘ve made it way to easy too…out in the open, you‘re fair game” he said as he admired the gun he was holding.  
  
Dean wasn’t intimidated by him what-so-ever. “Please, just let my brother go!”. Here he was again, more than willing to sacrifice his own life to save his younger sibling.  
  
“Now why would I do that? I’m not stupid. I let your brother go and he goes running off to gather some more of your kind. Hunters. Hunters who have killed off my family. No. I have a better plan. I’m going to eliminate him. Then I can concentrate on you” the demon said as he ran his finger over the barrel of his gun proudly.  
  
“Eliminate?” Dean asked worriedly as he gulped nervously. He looked over to the hustle and bustle of the people in the diner hoping that it would put the demon off. “Really? In front of an audience?”.  
  
The demon just scoffed and rolled his eyes. “As if we’re going to worry about that. These are just meat suits we’re inhabiting. We can be gone in a second, no one will ever catch us” he said laughing manically. “You and your brother are pests….and I’m getting revenge for my son that you sent back to hell. You killed him. Do remember that warehouse, Dean? A few months ago?”.  
  
“Oh yeah….” Dean said sarcastically. “What an annoying little dick he was. It was our greatest pleasure to send that sucker packing back to where he belonged” he laughed.  
  
Sam was frozen to the spot, and had stopped struggling against the demon that held him hostage. He felt the baby moving inside and feared for it’s safety as well as his own and his brother‘s. “Dean…..do something, please…..” he begged.  
  
The demon’s black eyes glowed back at Sam as he aimed the gun at him. He turned to the older hunter and smirked. “I’m bored with this chit-chat now. Say goodbye to your brother Dean” he snarled as his finger pushed down on the trigger.  
  
Sam flinched as he heard the sound of the bullet being fired from the gun. A bullet that was heading straight towards him. Knowing that he only had a spilt second to react and couldn’t move he closed his eyes and prayed. He felt the bullet hit him in the chest. The pain was unbearable, a searing pain that tore through him. He was unable to move- unable to even scream.  
  
Dean started to thrash around as the demon still held him tight. “Sam!” he shouted in horror as he watched the bullet puncture his brother’s chest and the blood start to stain his jacket red.  
  
The younger hunter was released from the demon’s grip and his hands automatically went around his stomach. “Dean….help me” he said as he started to choke and fight for breath as he fell to his knees.  
  
“Sam!” Dean screamed out as he fought for freedom in the demon’s arms. He managed to release one of his hands and with his quick reflexes, pulled out the hidden knife and stabbed the black eyed man with it, causing him to fall down dead. Now that he was free, the older hunter was torn between helping his brother and fending off the other two demons before they killed him. He armed himself with the knife and gun.  
  
Sam fell the rest of the way down until he was lying on the hard concrete of the parking lot, curling up on his side. His hands went out to his chest to try and stem the blood that was flowing out of him, running in little streams of red across the ground.  
  
The demon took morbid delight in this, laughing as he watched the youngest hunter suffer and writhe around on the ground. He had no intention of killing the older Winchester just yet, he wanted to revel in his agony of watching his brother fight for his life.  
  
Dean had nothing to lose anymore and quickly plunged the knife into the demon that had held onto his brother. He watched the light go out in his eyes. Wiping the blade on his jacket, he focused on the demon that had lead the attack. “It’s just you and me now, jackass. Come on, bring it…..”.  
  
The commotion had drawn some attention from some bystanders in the busy diner and a few people had bravely ventured out to see what was going on.  
  
The demon waved at Dean and shook his head. “I don’t think so Dean. I’ve had my fun, for now. Later….” he said before tilting his head back and expelling the thick black smoke, out his mouth and up into the night sky.  
  
The second the demon had escaped, Dean ran over to tend to his brother. “Sam….come on stay with me….” he said as he lifted his head up and tapped his face to try and rouse him.  
  
Sam blinked back at his brother, trying to keep his eyes open, but they kept wanting to close, he wanted to give in to the darkness, but knew that if he did just that, then it would be over. “D….d…..h..help…..” he managed to get out through strangled breaths. He thought of his baby, and hoped and prayed that it too would hold on, like he was desperately trying to do. His hands cradled around his stomach protectively, wishfully thinking that he could somehow let his brother know about the baby so it could be saved, even if he couldn’t. “I’m…p….p……”.  
  
“Don’t try and speak Sammy……it’s okay…..save your energy, please hold on” the older hunter pleaded as he ran his hand over his brother’s forehead. He laid a gentle kiss on his cheek and then put his hand on top of the wound in a frantic bid to try and stem some of the bleeding. He looked around at the crowd of people that had started to gather. “Someone help, ring 911, please!” he shouted. “PLEASE!!”.  
  
“I’m on it” a shocked man volunteered as he pulled out his cell phone and rapidly started to dial.  
  
Dean blocked out everything that was happening around him and concentrated on his wounded brother. He continued to hold him in his arms, pulling him in closer, hand carding through his brother’s wispy wavy bangs. “I’m so sorry Sammy…..please….help is on it’s way….just stay with me, yeah? Please?” he begged as tears fell from his eyes, mixing with the pool of blood as the distant sound of the sirens came closer and closer to them.  
  
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	23. Chapter 23

The paramedics had arrived within minutes, but it felt like hours to the older hunter as he just held his brother’s limp hand, feeling hopeless and useless as they pushed fluids into him and tried to gain vital IV access.  
  
“I’m sorry sir, but there’s no room for you too, we need access to work on him. Trust me we’ll be faster this way” one of the EMT’s said as he assisted his colleague in transferring their injured patient into the back of the ambulance. “You can follow by car, the hospital is just a couple of miles around the corner, you can’t miss it. We need to leave now this second”.  
  
Dean just nodded his head, too numb with shock to say anything coherent.  
  
The EMT seemed to understand the non-verbal command. “Don’t worry, we’ll do everything we can to save him. I promise” he said as he quickly shut the doors.  
  
As he watched the ambulance pull away, sirens and lights flashing and blaring, Dean found himself unable to move from the spot, and couldn’t quite engage his brain to move his legs to follow in the car. He suddenly found himself being pulled along by a stranger and led to an unfamiliar car.  
  
“Come on sir….get in, I’ll take you to the hospital, you’re in no fit state to drive right now” a female voice said as she ushered the traumatized hunter into the passenger seat of her car.  
  
Dean remained motionless for the 5 minute car journey, just staring in front of him, hands shaking uncontrollably until he was prompted by the female driver to get out the car and go be with his brother.  
  
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As soon as Dean had pulled up outside the hospital entrance, his brain suddenly shot into action as he found all of his senses again as he ran blindly into the ER. “Help me. I need to see my brother Sam. He’s just been brought in here…..he was shot….”.  
  
A stunned looking nurse at the reception desk studied the dazed hunter, his jacket and hands covered in blood. “Just calm down for a minute please sir…” she said, attempting to calm him down.  
  
“No, I want to see my brother now, please, you don‘t understand, I have to be with him….” Dean shouted as he ran through the doors to the resuscitation room like a crazed mad man. In front of him, was his brother lying down on one of the trolleys, a breathing tube and bag had been inserted as well as lots of other lines and drips. One of the nurses was squeezing the bag, trying to keep the flow of oxygen going, whilst one of the doctors was desperately trying to resuscitate the hunter. It looked like a blood bath. The older hunter suddenly felt nauseous. This was the type of stuff that you watched on television, not in real life, not happening right before his eyes.  
  
“You can’t be in here sir” the nurse said breathlessly as she had caught up with the older hunter.  
  
“Sammy! Help him please, you can’t let him die, you can’t!!” Dean screamed ignoring the nurse’s plea. “I want to see my brother….” he protested.  
  
The nurse tried to grab hold of the hunter’s jacket in an attempt to keep him away.  
  
The doctor nodded his head to the nurse, who let go of Dean. He then spoke to the hunter, putting a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. “I know that you do. And you will, I promise. But now is not the time…..we’re taking your brother straight to the operating room”.  
  
Dean ran his hands over his face and then threw them up in the air in a fit of panic. “Oh my God. Is he going to be okay, please tell me he’s going to be okay?”.  
  
The physician looked back at his team as they continued to work on his patient. He then looked at the distressed hunter gravely. “We’re going to do our best. I’m not going to lie to you, he’s in a very serious condition right now. He’s lost a lot of blood and we haven’t managed to re-start his heart yet, but you need to let us work on him” he said signalling for the team to bring the trolley out the doors. “We’re going to the O.R right now, go and wait in the relatives room and I’ll be back to update you when I have more news”.  
  
The older hunter moved to one side as he let them pass. He caught a quick glimpse of his brother’s pale face, eyes closed, breathing tube coming from his mouth. “I love you….” he said as he watched them disappear down the corridor. He suddenly broke down in tears once again. That may have been the last time he’ll ever see his brother alive again.  
  
“Come on, I’ll show you to the relatives room” the nurse said kindly as she led the hunter by his arm down the corridor into a small room.  
  
Dean automatically sat down on one of the chairs, collapsing with grief and distress. He looked down at his hands, which were stained with his brother’s blood. He could smell the bitter metallic scent and felt bile start to rise up in his throat. Jumping to his feet he made a leap for the sink and threw up violently. His crying hitched up another notch as he started to break out in a cold sweat, erupting into a panic attack. He hadn’t noticed that the nurse was still present.  
  
“It’s okay sweetie. Let’s get you cleaned up” she said as she wiped the blood from the stunned hunter’s hands. After doing the best that she could, the nurse left Dean by himself to come to terms with things, as he just sat on the chair and swayed backwards and forwards, in complete denial and shock.  
  
Time had now stood still.  
  
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A couple of hours had passed, and the doctor appeared in the waiting room to find Dean, clutching tightly onto his cup of coffee, which had long gone cold.   
  
Dean rubbed his red puffy eyes with his free hand and realised that the doctor was standing in front of him.  
  
“May I?” the doctor asked as he gestured to the empty seat next to the hunter.  
  
Dean just nodded feebly. Somehow he managed to speak calmly. “You doctor’s always sit down, you know, when you’ve got to break bad news to relatives. Don’t sugar coat it, just tell me, how is he doing? He’s got to be okay, please, he’s my baby brother and he means the world to me. He‘s all I‘ve got. Please don’t tell me that despite all of your best efforts he’s died. That‘s what they tell the relatives….I‘ve seen and heard it often enough….”.  
  
“I’m not going to lie to you Mr……..” the doctor said, looking to the older hunter for an answer.  
  
“Winchester” Dean replied, not caring that he had divulged his true identity. He didn’t care right now, it didn’t matter, the only thing that did was his brother.  
  
“Okay, Mr Winchester, your brother is alive, but he’s not out of the woods yet. He’s been extremely lucky. We’ve kept him heavily sedated to give his body a chance to recover. We removed the bullet with minimal effort. It caused his lungs to collapse, but although it damaged some vessels in his heart, it narrowly missed the major blood vessels. That’s a good prognosis right there. Like I said, extremely lucky”. The doctor put his hand reassuringly on Dean’s shoulder. “And the baby is fine too. It seems to have been unaffected by the whole thing……a complete miracle” he said, smiling for the first time.  
  
Dean sighed in relief and closed his eyes as he digested the information that he‘d been told. His eyes flew open as the last statement had been processed in his brain. “What? The baby? What are you talking about?” he asked as he shook his head in disbelief. “What baby?”.  
  
The doctor seemed genuinely surprised. “You did know that your brother was pregnant, right?” the doctor asked a dumbfounded Dean as he scratched the dimple on his chin.  
  
The older hunter put his coffee cup down on the table in front of him as his hands started to shake uncontrollably. He put his hand over his mouth. “No, he can’t be. He would have told me if he was, I would have known…” he said, swallowing quickly as nausea started to build up in the pit of his stomach again. “We tell each other everything……”.  
  
“I’m surprised that you didn’t know. He’s around 24 weeks gone, with a son” the doctor continued.  
  
“A son?” Dean asked as his head shot up. Tears started to gather in the corner of his eyes. “Sammy’s having a baby boy?”.  
  
“Yes. Once he regains consciousness we’ll be able to assess him and the baby better. But for now, they are both stable and doing well considering the circumstances” the doctor said as his pager started to vibrate and beep. He looked at it and frowned as he stood up. “I’m sorry, I have to get this”.  
  
Dean shot up from his seat. “Wait! Can I see him? Can I see my brother now? I didn‘t have a chance earlier, you wouldn’t let me because you took him straight to the operating room and I was told to wait here. And I‘ve been waiting here patiently for hours, but now I want to see my brother” he asked as he wiped a tear from his eye. “Please….”.  
  
The doctor smiled kindly. “Of course. Like I said he’s not regained consciousness yet and he’s still intubated and hooked up to machines so don‘t be too alarmed when you see him. We hope that he’ll start to come round soon as we wean him off the sedatives”.   
  
“Okay. Thank you” Dean said quietly, nodding to himself, trying to digest all of the information that he’d been told in the short space of time.  
  
“Oh, and here’s all of your brother’s belongings that he had on him” the doctor said as he handed over the plastic bag and left the hunter to it.  
  
Dean took the bag and put it down on the table next to his coffee cup. He started pacing around the waiting room to mentally prepare himself. Why hadn’t Sam told him about the baby? Who was the father? Why had Sam put himself at risk knowing that he was pregnant? Did Sam even know that he was pregnant? He must have done, surely.  
  
So many questions swam around in his head, he felt like he was going to explode. He reached into his coat pocket and retrieved his hip flask and took a few swigs. He closed his eyes and moaned softly as the whiskey slid down his throat and calmed his nerves.  
  
He was having a hard time trying to come to terms with the revelation. But suddenly everything became crystal clear to him. All the signs were there, but he was too busy wallowing in his own self-pity and self-loathing to notice that his brother was pregnant. That’s why Sam had been acting differently. That’s why he wanted to speak to him, that’s why he had brought up that night they had spent together. That’s why his brother had put on weight and had been sick. It all made sense, all the secrecy.   
  
And the biggest realisation was that the baby was his.   
  
Sam was carrying his baby.  
  
His eyes then fixated on the plastic bag on the table. Curiously, he stuck his hand in and pulled out the bloody jacket. He patted the pockets and took out the wallet, buried deep in the inside pocket. He stroked his finger across the leather and flicked the latch on it to open it up. His curiosity continued as he opened up one of the pockets to find the collection of ultrasound pictures. The first one he had picked up, showed a small blob of mottled black and white. He smiled as he shuffled it to the back and studied the next one. The first thing he noticed was the date on the second scan photo. That was the date that they had been attacked by the werewolf and went to hospital.  
  
“Oh my god Sammy. You must have been so scared. Why didn’t you tell me, why did you carry on hunting?” Dean whispered as he gasped in shock. He ran his finger over the photo as he tried to make sense of the bigger blobs of grey.   
  
Finally, he moved the last photo to the front. Despite his untrained eye, he was able to clearly see that the picture resembled a baby. Their son. He was beautiful, the shape of his head and nose, his arms and legs huddled up. Perfect.  
  
The older hunter made a note of the date again on the scan photo, trying to remember where they were a month ago. Bobby’s house.  
  
Something told him that Bobby knew. He had sensed that they had a connection a while back, something felt like it was going on between them, that he wasn’t a part of.   
  
To his own surprise he wasn’t angry in the slightest. In fact he was glad that his brother had had someone to confide in and that he wasn’t dealing with this alone. That’s what made Bobby so darn awesome was that he remained faithful to those he cared about and if his brother had sworn him to secrecy, the hunter had obviously obliged. Dean felt an even greater respect towards his trusted mentor.  
  
Bringing the newest scan photo up to his chest, he clutched it tightly and then kissed it softly. As he picked up the bundle of photo’s again, he noticed that there were blotches of smudged ink on a couple of the corners. His heart sank when he realised with sorrow that they were probably tear stains. Poor Sammy, keeping all of this to himself, plus trying to keep him on the straight and narrow.  
  
Dean looked down at his flask of whiskey with guilt. This was it. He now had another reason to live, someone else to live for. Someone else that would need his love and attention- something he was more than willing to give.  
  
The hunter then came to, and put everything back in his brother’s wallet, exactly as he’d found them. His eyes then wandered down to the end of the corridor where he knew Sam would be. Exhaling slowly, he emptied the flask of whiskey down the sink and put the empty shell back in his pocket, took hold of the bag of belongings and put one foot in front of the other and started to walk along the corridor.   
  
The room didn’t seem to get any closer and it felt like it had taken forever by the time he had finally reached the room. He stood outside the door, forehead resting against the hard cold wood. He couldn’t quite bring himself to make the final move and push the door open.  
  
“Come on Dean, get a grip. Sammy needs you” he told himself. “And your son” he said, smiling as the realisation struck him again. He was going to be a father.  
  
Finally, the older hunter plucked up the courage and gave the door a nudge and willed his feet to step in through the doorway. He nearly broke down in tears when he saw his brother looking so small and helpless in the bed in front of him.  
  
There were machines all around Sam, wires and lines coming out of him and into him. The breathing tube was secured in his mouth, providing critical life support helping him to breath. Dean pulled up a chair beside the bed and sat down. He buried his head in the covers of the bed until he was able to look up again.  
  
His fingers gently stroked Sam’s hand. “I’m here Sam. Can you hear me? Your big pain in the ass brother. I’m not going to leave you this time. I’m going to look after you, like I’ve always done….should have done. Just like you’ve looked after me recently, given me a reason to life and to carry on. But you’ve got to help me out here, there‘s only so much that I can do. You’ve got to pull through this. I need you. Our son needs you, because I can‘t do it alone” he said as tears ran down his eyes.  
  
The only response was the respirator hissing as it took over his brother’s breathing. Sam was covered up to his neck in layers of sheets and warming blankets to keep him warm and insulated.  
  
Dean let go of Sam’s hand and moved it down slowly onto his brother’s stomach. Even under all the bulky bed covers, he could feel a swell in his abdomen. He moved his hand away quickly, almost afraid of what would happen if he kept his hand there. He‘d just about gotten over the shock of finding out about the baby, but this was the confirmation that affirmed everything. “Oh my God. You are pregnant Sammy” he gasped. “Wow. How could you hide this…..it‘s amazing”.  
  
A minute later, the curiosity finally peaked and got the better of the older hunter, as he pulled back the thick blankets and laid both of his hands onto his younger brother’s abdomen. He felt something move underneath the palm of his hand, something delicate bump up against it. A sudden rush of emotions ran through his body as he realised the baby was moving.  
  
His baby. His and Sammy’s son giving him reassurance that he was still alive and kicking.  
  
He looked up at Sam again who’s eyes remained closed. “Please Sammy. You’ve got to wake up. You‘re going to be a father. Please, open your eyes” he begged, his eyes looking upwards at the ceiling. “I’ll even start praying to God. I just need you to wake up damn it!” he shouted. “I love you, I mean really, really love you”.  
  
He rested his head between Sam’s chest and stomach, listening to his breathing and his heart just to make sure that it was still beating, despite the reassurance of the machines. Putting his hand back on the swollen abdomen hoping to feel the baby moving again, he felt his eyes close as he drifted off to sleep- exhaustion taking over his body.  
  
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A few hours later, the machines started to beep uncontrollably and Sam started to jerk up and down violently as he gasped and gagged for breath. Dean suddenly woke up, his head shot up from the bed as he was suddenly wide awake. His eyes darted between the machines and Sam. He threw the door open and stuck his head out into the seemingly empty corridor.  
  
“Somebody help me! It’s my brother, help” Dean shouted hysterically. He was pushed out of the way as several nurses and a doctor ran into the room and attended to his brother.  
  
Dean clasped his hands together and started to chew anxiously at his nails as he watched the medical team pull the breathing tube out of Sam’s throat. “What are you doing? Why are you taking that out? He needs that to breath!” he shouted hysterically.  
  
One of the nurses came over to calm him down. “Mr Winchester. We’re taking the tube out because he doesn’t need it anymore. Your brother is making an attempt to breath by himself”.  
  
“Breath by himself?” Dean asked as he tried to breath in and out slowly. “You mean he’s waking up?”.  
  
The nurse nodded her head and smiled. “Yes. He’s waking up. We’re just going to disconnect him from the machines and you can go and sit with him again. He’ll still be drowsy from the anaesthesia and in a lot of pain, but he’s come round. That’s a good sign. Try and relax now because you need to stay calm for your brother. He‘s still very, very sick”.  
  
“Okay. Okay” Dean repeated slowly as he ran his hands over his face and through his hair. He looked down at his coat which was still covered with blood. Sam’s blood. The image of his brother getting wounded flooded his mind again, forcing him to relieve the moment when the sickening sound of the bullet had hit his brother’s chest.  
  
A few minutes later and the medical team calmly left the room, leaving Dean alone with his brother once again. He came to his senses as a hoarse voice called out his name.  
  
“Dean?” Sam asked, his throat dry, hoarse and sore from the tube that had been down his throat only minutes earlier.  
  
Dean rushed over to the side of the bed. “Sammy. I’m here. I’m here. Don’t ever scare me like that again” he said grabbing Sam’s hand and holding it tight up against his face, feeling the warm skin against his own.  
  
Sam looked down worriedly at his stomach as his hand drifted down. He tried to concentrate to feel for even the slightest movement from his baby, a sign that it had survived the ordeal. His older brother noticed the subtle signs.  
  
“I know about the baby Sam” Dean said calmly. He couldn’t be mad at Sam right now, not ever. Not when he had come so close to losing him, losing them both.  
  
Sam’s eyes went wide and he moved his hand away from his stomach quickly. “Dean…..” he said remorsefully.  
  
“Sam” Dean said quickly, interrupting his brother. “It’s okay. I’m not mad. I understand why you kept it from me. I’m just glad that you’re okay” he said as he ran a finger tenderly over his brother’s cheek.  
  
“Is the baby okay? Please tell me it is. I can’t feel it moving” Sam said sadly as his hand went back onto his stomach not caring that his brother could see the bulk of it.  
  
Dean smiled and put his hand on top of his brother’s. “He’s fine. He’s a fighter just like his daddy”.  
  
A tear leaked out of Sam’s eye. “He?” he asked weakly. “It’s a boy?” he asked as his eyes lit up.  
  
“Yes” Dean confirmed. “You didn’t know it was a boy?”.  
  
Sam just shook his head slowly. He started to choke up and lifted his head up feebly. “Water….” he said as he pointed to the cup next to him. “Ow” he complained as his stitches pulled on his chest.  
  
“Lie back. I’ll get it for you” Dean said, reaching over to the cup, more than willing to finally be able do something for his brother. “Lift your chin up” he said as Sam took small sips until he nodded that he’d had enough. “Shit, I’m sorry, I‘ve spoilt it for you……I didn‘t know that you didn‘t know the sex…”.  
  
“Don’t be sorry Dean. I’m glad you told me. I didn’t want to know before, because it didn’t feel right knowing, when you didn’t even know that I was pregnant. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about the baby” Sam explained tiredly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you….”.  
  
“Sam, we don’t need to go through this right now. Just rest, go to sleep sweetheart” Dean soothed as he ran his fingers through Sam’s damp hair.  
  
“I need to tell you Dean. Please, let me explain” Sam pursued. “The baby’s yours. There hasn’t been anyone else. Not since we…..” he started before pausing. “Not since we slept together. That‘s what I‘ve been trying to tell you for months. But I couldn’t…..and then the longer it went on, the harder it became….”.  
  
Dean smiled weakly as Sam confirmed that it was his baby too. “I guessed the baby was mine. I’m not angry Sam. Not with you. I’m angry at myself for being such a selfish prick. Why did you feel that you had to hide it from me? Did you think that I’d be mad? If I had known, I never would have let you carry on hunting. Would never have put you in danger, or the baby, our baby” he said before pausing. Another thought struck him. “Oh my god. You wanted to stop hunting……you kept dropping all those hints about wanting our lives to be different…..but I was too hell bent on revenge, on anger that I didn’t pick up on it. I’m sorry Sam, so, so sorry”.  
  
Sam squeezed his brother’s hand tightly. “It’s fine. I couldn’t leave you Dean. I couldn’t bear to leave you all alone, you needed me”.  
  
“I love you” Dean said softly as his hand stroked over the injured hunter’s cheek lovingly.  
  
Sam made an attempt to smile. It was the words that he‘d longed to hear for a long time. He now knew that his brother truly meant it. “You do?” he asked as his eyes started to fill with tears.  
  
“Of course I do, you know that” Dean said kindly as he squeezed his brother’s hand.  
  
“I thought that you regretted what we did that night. Just a drunken mistake. You never brought it up again and you just carried on as normal, like it never happened. We avoided each other for weeks afterwards. Then you started drinking more and more and became more distant. Then when I found out that I was pregnant, I couldn’t tell you because I thought that it would send you even more off the rails along the path of destruction. I thought you were ashamed of what we did. All those girls you went off with, it broke my heart to see you with them” Sam said staying calm despite his racing heart. “I wanted you to be with me, not them”.  
  
Dean bit down on his lip hard. “I’m sorry Sam. I was scared that’s all. All this time I’ve loved you, but I didn’t think that you felt the same so I never broached the subject after that night. All of those girls Sammy. I was over compensating. It was just sex, all that time I wished I was with you. It’s always been you. I’m not ashamed of what we did. And I haven‘t been with anyone for months. I‘ve been holding out for you Sam….”.  
  
“I can‘t believe how stupid we both are” Sam started. “We both love each other, but haven‘t done anything about it. I’ve always loved you too….I mean, you know, more than just brothers….I was just scared……”.  
  
“I know” Dean said as he looked deep into his brother’s eyes and pressed a finger on his lips to silence him. “Sam? Can I…..can I kiss you?” he asked nervously.  
  
Sam blinked through his tears. “You don’t have to ask my permission to kiss me” he said.  
  
“I feel like I do. I want it to be special so I kinda needed a few moments to work up to it” Dean said as he leant over and kissed Sam on the lips briefly. He pulled away. They both smiled at each other and then the younger hunter put his hands on the side of his brother’s face and pulled him back in where they kissed tenderly for a few moments until Sam jumped and pushed his brother away.  
  
“Dean!” Sam said suddenly.  
  
Dean jumped to attention. “Sam? What’s wrong?!”   
  
“The baby’s moving again. He’s alright” Sam said excitedly as he pushed away all of the layers of bed sheets and put his hands on his exposed stomach.  
  
That’s when Dean saw the true size of his pregnant brother’s swollen abdomen. He moved away for a second, almost too scared to get any closer for fear of hurting either of them.  
  
“It’s okay Dean. Put your hand here” Sam said as he reached out for Dean’s hand. He likes the sound of your voice. He always kicks when he hears you.  
  
Dean smiled through his tears. “Really?”.  
  
Sam nodded his head happily. “Yeah….”.  
  
Dean laughed as he felt the movement under his palm again, this time stronger than before. “Sam. How did you manage to keep this a secret from me. Have I been that bad a brother that I didn’t notice?”.  
  
Sam’s happy face turned serious. “At first, it wasn’t that hard to be honest. When we’re not in the car together, you’ve either been out drowning your sorrows, hustling pool, or hooking up with women. I’ve just worn a few extra layers too which has helped” he laughed. “The last few weeks has been really hard. I’ve gotten so big, I wouldn’t have been able to hide for much longer. That’s what I wanted to tell you earlier in the parking lot. What I nearly managed to tell you that night we had our big fight…..”.  
  
Dean suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over him. “I never noticed. My own brother is carrying my child and I didn’t even know. I knew you’d put on some weight but I attributed it to you eating more. I put your mood swings down to putting up with me. Now that I know, everything makes sense now. God, can you forgive me for being a crappy brother?”.  
  
“I think so” Sam smiled and then yawned as he held onto his brother’s hand tight. “I love you….that’s what you do, you forgive the one you love. Only if you can forgive me?”.  
  
“Consider it done” the older hunter said. He circled his hand around on the visible bulge where he now knew their baby was growing. “I can’t believe you been dealing with this all by yourself…..”.  
  
Sam suddenly came down from his euphoria as a wave of guilt and deceit filled him with dread. “Dean……while we’re being honest here…..there’s something else that I need to tell you……someone else knew about the baby…..”.  
  
Dean smiled, telling his brother that he still wasn’t mad. “Bobby, right?”.  
  
“Yeah……but don’t be angry with him, please” Sam said urgently as he started to fidget around, causing his heart rate to accelerate slightly. “He guessed, I never told him. He figured it out and then I begged him not to tell you, even though he urged me to confess to you. Please don’t be mad at him Dean. He’s offered to provide me and the baby a home. And you too….our family….”.  
  
“Sshh……it’s okay. I figured. I’m glad that you weren’t totally alone and could confide in someone. I’m not mad at anyone Sam” Dean assured. “Now get some sleep. You need to rest. You’ve just had major surgery. I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise” Dean reassured. “I’m not going anywhere” he said as he pulled the sheets back over Sam and took his other hand and held it tightly.  
  
“There’s lots of things that we need to talk about” Sam argued.  
  
The older hunter shook his head slowly and pressed a finger to his brother’s mouth. “We’ve got all the time in the world to talk, sleep now Sammy”.  
  
The pregnant hunter suddenly remembered about the demon that had gotten away. “The demon….the one that shot me….please don’t do anything stupid Dean. You’re not going to go after it, right?”.  
  
Dean shook his head and leant in closer to his brother. “No I’m not. I’m done, all done with all of that. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives, no more hunting, no more demons. Just plain and boring and conventional. Now sleep….” he whispered as he tried to coax his brother to do just that.  
  
Sam started to close his eyes but opened them again quickly. “Wait, just one more thing. I just need to know……..how you feel about the baby…..are you happy?” the pregnant hunter asked. He couldn’t go to sleep without knowing the answer.  
  
“What do you think?” Dean answered, his smile widening as he kissed the bump where their child grew.  
  
Sam felt his eyelids go heavy and sunk back into his pillow. “That’s all I needed to know, thank you”.   
  
He was asleep in seconds, knowing that when he would next wake up, it won’t be a dream, it would be here and now.  
  
Dean and his baby.  
  
To anyone else, it would be plain and boring- but to him, it meant so much more than that.


	24. Chapter 24

It was 5:25am and Bobby Singer was sound asleep in his bed when the phone rang. It woke him up straight away and at first he was going to ignore it, but usually when someone rang at that time of the morning, the news wasn’t likely to be good.  
  
He reached out blindly for his phone, keeping his tired eyes closed so he didn’t see the caller ID.  
  
“Yeah….Bobby Singer. Who is this and it better be good for waking me up at this hour”.  
  
“Bobby, it’s Dean” the older Winchester said. He looked at his watch and winced when he realised what the time was. “Sorry, didn’t realise it was this early. I just really need to talk to you…..” he said as he paced up and down the hospital corridor.  
  
“Okay, just give me a minute” Bobby said as he opened his eyes, sat up and switched the light on. Yawning he got to his feet. “What can I do you for?”.  
  
Dean rubbed his hand over his haggard face and sat down in a chair to rest his tired legs. “I don’t really know where to start….”.  
  
The older man sighed wearily. “Well, the beginning is usually a good place to start”.  
  
“We’re in the hospital. Sammy’s been shot and in a bad way” the younger hunter started.  
  
Bobby was suddenly fully awake and alert. His blood ran cold. “Dean….what did you just say?” he began, before the other man cut him off.  
  
“No, he’s okay. I mean, he wasn’t for a while, I was really, really scared that I would lose him. He had an operation to remove the bullet and he’s regained consciousness now. And uh…..the baby is okay too” Dean said as he could almost hear the fear in his mentor despite the silence. “I know that Sam is pregnant. The doctor told me and assumed that I knew, which I didn’t. And I also know that you know”.  
  
Bobby stiffened. “Dean….I’m sorry…..Sam needed someone to confide in and he swore me to secrecy” he started to explain. “I’m sorry that you had to find out that way rather than Sam telling you in person”.  
  
Dean shook his head frantically. “No….Bobby, I’m not mad. I’m not mad at Sam, and I’m not mad at you. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for looking out for Sammy, when I wasn’t able to. He‘s told me everything….and we‘re okay now, more than okay actually”.  
  
The older hunter was stunned into silence. He relaxed and broke into a smile. “It’s okay. So…..have you two finally sorted yourselves out yet?” he asked, hoping that he wasn’t going to stir things up again.  
  
Dean sighed happily. He wasn’t sure whether Bobby knew the whole story about their new incestuous relationship and that he was the other father of Sam’s child. “How much do you know?”.  
  
“Everything. That you’re the father and that you two are hopelessly in love with each other but neither one of you have had the balls to admit it until, what, now? Does that about cover it all?” the faithful mentor asked.  
  
The older sibling nodded his head before realising that Bobby couldn’t see him. “Yep, that’s about the gist of things. Are you, you know, okay about the whole thing?”.  
  
Bobby scratched the back of his neck as he stretched out cramp in his leg. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted is for the two of you to be happy. And if that’s what makes you happy, then I guess I’m okay with it”.  
  
“Thank you Bobby. You’re amazing, has it ever been said before?” Dean asked, almost tearfully at the sentiment and voicing of his approval.   
  
“Yeah yeah. Its been said once or twice” the tired mentor said. His thoughts turned back to the younger Winchester and his unborn child again. “So are Sam and the baby really okay?”.  
  
Dean looked at his watch. He had left Sam sleeping and couldn’t bear to leave him, not even for a second but he needed to speak to Bobby. He had only been gone for 10 minutes and felt guilty already. “He’s not quite out of the woods yet. He needs to stay in intensive care for a while, make sure his heart has recovered from the bullet wound. And as for the baby….alive and kicking. It’s incredible, our son. A little miracle. They are going to continue to monitor them both. But they are out of immediate danger”.  
  
Bobby felt a surge a pride rush into his body. “Where are you? I‘m coming to see you. I‘ll drive all day and all night if I have to, but I‘m coming to you”.  
  
“Uh we’re in Wyoming, Fairview lake Medical centre” Dean said, trying to remember himself, the tiredness and shock was catching up with him.  
  
The older hunter scribbled something down on a piece of paper. “Okay, that’s do-able. I’ll leave as soon as I can, I’ll be with you before the end of the day. Send Sam my love”.  
  
“Thanks Bobby. Drive safely and we’ll see you soon” Dean said as he hung up the phone and slid his cell back into his pocket. He looked at his watch again as he got up from the chair and walked back to his brother’s room as quick as he could, hoping that his brother hadn’t woken up to an empty room.  
  
When he entered the room, he smiled with relief when he saw that his brother was asleep, one hand resting on his abdomen. He resumed his position on the reclining chair next to the bed and took hold of his brother’s free hand. “I’m here Sam”.  
  
One of the nurses came into the room and adjusted some buttons on the machines. “Mr Winchester?” she asked the exhausted hunter. “Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?”.  
  
Dean shook his head frantically and held Sam’s hand tighter. “No. I’m not leaving Sam, not for a second. I don’t want him to wake up and find that I’m not here”.  
  
The nurse smiled sympathetically. “We’ve increased his sedatives again, so he’s going to be out for a good while. You may as well get some sleep too, you’re exhausted and not going to be any good to him when he does wake. He‘s got a long recovery ahead of him”.  
  
Stubbornly, Dean shook his head again, more persistently. “I’m not leaving this room”.  
  
“Okay” the nurse said as she went over to one of the cupboards and found a blanket and pillow. “Take these and you can sleep in the chair. I promise you, you‘ll feel better for it”.  
  
On seeing the blanket, Dean suddenly felt shattered, beyond exhaustion and decided to take up the offer. He took them gratefully and stretched himself out on the chair, positioning the pillow behind his head and laying the blanket over himself. “Thank you” he said. When the nurse left, he let his eyes close, but making sure that his hand was still entwined with his brother’s. “I’m not going anywhere Sam. This is it, you and me”.  
  
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A few hours later, Sam opened his eyes groggily. It took a moment for them to focus and to remember where he was and why. The sun had risen and was shining in through the blinds. His chest was aching painfully and his mouth was bone dry. His arms were weighed down with needles and IV’s which led into machines administering different medications.  
  
He looked down at his hand to find that it was linked with his brother’s- who was sleeping peacefully in the chair next to him. As a further comfort, the baby moved ever so slightly just to remind him that he was okay too. He was still unable to believe that him and his brother were now together, so he blinked a few times just to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming.  
  
He groaned slightly when he shifted in the bed to try and sit up and it tugged at the stitches in chest. Releasing his hand from his brother’s grip, he brought it up to the incision site as the pain took his breath away for a few seconds, making him gasp for breath.  
  
The older hunter’s ears were super sensitised to his brother’s needs and he opened them the second he heard the moan of discomfort. “Sam? You okay?”.  
  
The injured hunter took shallow breaths as he fought to suck in the much needed oxygen. “Hard…..to….breath….” he managed to get out.  
  
“Wait a second Sam” Dean said as he leapt up from the chair, and taking initiative, he turned on the oxygen and positioned the mask over his brother’s face. “Is it coming through?”.  
  
Sam felt the rush of oxygen filter in through his nose and mouth, instantly helping him to breath better. He smiled and nodded his head at his brother as he pulled it off his face for a few seconds to speak. “Thank you Dr Dean. How did you know what to do?”.  
  
Dean batted his sibling’s hand away from the mask and he brought it back up over his mouth again. “You need to keep in on. And….well, I may have watched the odd few episodes of General Hospital when I was laid up in bed….it was kinda addictive….catchy storylines, you know?”.  
  
The injured hunter chuckled quietly but regretted it as it intensified the pain. “Don’t make me laugh, please….” he begged.  
  
“I’m sorry” the older hunter apologised as he laid a kiss on his sibling’s forehead, carefully and lovingly.  
  
Sam looked into his brother’s eyes and sighed happily. “I must look totally gross, I wouldn’t kiss me….”.  
  
“I didn’t see you protesting. Besides, I don’t care. You’re still beautiful Sam. So damn beautiful you have no idea” Dean said as he planted a few more kisses on Sam’s forehead. He brought his mouth up to his brother’s ear and whispered into it. “I love you, remember?”.  
  
The pregnant hunter closed his eyes for a moment to let his other senses take over, feeling his brother’s warm delicate lips up against the sensitive skin of his ear. Once he could no longer feel the warmth on his ear, he opened his eyes and focused them on his brother. “I love you too….” he replied just as the door opened and the surgeon and other doctors appeared.  
  
Dean quickly sat back in his chair as he looked worryingly at the audience that had now gathered around his brother’s bed side.  
  
“Good morning….how are you feeling Sam?” the surgeon asked his patient, with a beaming smile.  
  
Sam just nodded his head weakly. “Not too bad, considering….”.  
  
The surgeon smiled before he turned his attention to the crowd of physicians that were with him. “Okay, this is Sam Winchester. Sustained a gunshot wound to his anterior chest wall. The bullet caused a bilateral haemo-pneumothorax and then tracked through his heart, causing damage, only to the minor blood vessels on it’s way through. We removed the bullet, re-inflated his lungs with bilateral chest drains and repaired the damaged vessels. His GCS was 3 on arrival in the ER last night, no cardiac or respiratory effort either. We successfully restarted his heart and then after surgery we intubated him and he was gradually weaned off the sedation and came around only a few hours ago. Oh yes, and he’s 24 weeks pregnant. Baby unaffected and doing well, but we’ll confirm today with ultrasound and get him hooked up to a foetal monitor for observation” he said as the physicians flipped through the charts and made notes on their clipboards.  
  
Dean looked at his brother who remained completely un-phased at the people gathered around him. “All these people looking after you Sammy, told you how special you are” he said winking at his brother, wondering whether it would be appropriate for him to kiss him whole heartedly on the lips. He decided against it, given that the surgeon knew that they were brothers.  
  
“Okay, how’s the pain, do you need me to increase the medication?” the physician asked the injured hunter.  
  
Sam started to nod his head but the cut himself short. “The pain is getting worse and worse……but won’t the medication hurt the baby? I will put up with it if it’s going to harm the baby” he said putting his hand on his swollen tummy.  
  
The physician scribbled something on his chart. “No, it’s not going to harm the baby at all. It would help your son, if you’re relaxed and your pain is well managed, your obs will be more stable which is better for the baby. I’ll write you up for something stronger and get the nurses to sort that out for you. Any other problems other than the pain?”.  
  
The older brother quickly intervened. “When he woke up just now, he had trouble breathing so I put the oxygen mask on him. I hope that was okay….”.  
  
“You did the right thing Mr Winchester. His oxygen saturation levels have dropped down to 85%, and we need that to be as close to 100% as possible. Can I listen to your chest Sam?” he asked, poised ready with his stethoscope.   
  
Sam nodded his head and pushed his hands down on the bed to try and sit more upright and forwards so that the doctor could get to the back of his chest. Dean was by his side, gently hooking his arms underneath and pulling him forward.  
  
“You’re okay there Sam. Don’t strain yourself too much” the physician said as he moved the stethoscope around. “I think your lungs have stayed inflated, but there’s still quite a bit of blood and fluid in there from the sounds of things” he said as he then turned his attention to the chest drains that had nearly filled up to the top with blood. “Your blood pressure is very low, so we’ll arrange for you to have another blood transfusion. You had one when you were in the OR. I think we need to keep you here in the ICU for 24-48 hours at least until you’re more stable”.  
  
“Is there likely to be any complications from this?” the older hunter asked, as he looked to his brother who was exhausted just from trying to sit forward an inch.  
  
The physician nodded his head affirmatively. “There are a few risks, mainly infection, multi-system organ failure from the heart surgery. But let’s not worry about that until that happens, if that happens”. He looked down at the catheter bag and recorded the measurement. “Kidneys are working as they should, no worries there. Now Sam, I know that you’re really tired, but I want you to follow my light with your eyes, don’t move your head” he said as he moved his torch pen up and down, from side to side. “Excellent. Initial signs are great. If your breathing gets any worse then let us know, and we can sedate you again to take over your breathing to give your lungs a chance to recover. Obviously if we can avoid that then we will. We’ll increase your sedation so that you can rest. I‘ll just check how your incision site is healing. We had to crack open your sternum to get to your heart so that will take a good few months to heal again properly”. Pulling back the dressing slightly, he saw that the stitches were still intact and that the majority of the bleeding had stopped. “That too looks good”.  
  
Sam’s brain felt groggy from the pain, meds and the overload of information he was being told. “The baby…..?” he asked, his voice weakening exponentially.  
  
“I’ll arrange for my colleague Dr Richards to come in and do an ultrasound scan first to provide you with reassurance, then we’ll get you sedated again and hook you up to the foetal monitor. I know all of this sounds a bit drastic, but it’s just to aid your body to heal. It’s done remarkably well so far in getting you through this ordeal. You’re a very lucky man”.  
  
Dean stood up from his chair and extended his hand out to the physician who accepted it and shook it. “Thank you sir….to you and the rest of your medical team for saving Sam’s life. You have no idea how grateful we are, thank you”.  
  
“No problem, it’s a pleasure. I’ll leave you for now. Any problems, get the nurses to page me and I’ll be with you. Just rest now Sam, that’s the best thing you can do for you and your baby. Is there anyone else we can call for you? The father of the baby perhaps?”.  
  
“No thank you” Sam managed to squeak out. “I’ve got my brother, he’s all that I need….”.  
  
As soon as the medical team left the room, the older hunter had to fight hard not to grab his brother and hold him tight, so he gently put his hands either side of his face and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, closing his eyes as he did so.  
  
Sam smiled at the sentiment. He laughed breathlessly as he felt the baby move. “I think someone feels left out here” he said as he rubbed at the spot where he had felt what he assumed was a foot kick him from within.  
  
Dean smiled and moved the gown off the growing bump, exposing the soft, warm flesh and planted a kiss where his brother’s hand was. “I love you too”. He pulled away and then pulled the covers back over his brother.   
  
The door to their room opened again and a different physician entered, dragging an ultrasound machine and other equipment in with her, interrupting the tender moment. She introduced herself. “Sam? I’m Dr. Richards. I’m here to check up on the baby this morning. I scanned you last night when you were in the OR. The baby’s initial signs were fine and tolerated the general anaesthetic very well”.  
  
The pregnant hunter merely smiled with relief, as did his brother.  
  
The physician pulled on a pair of gloves over her hands and proceeded to set up the ultrasound machine. “How has the pregnancy been so far? Have you been getting proper pre-natal care?”.  
  
Sam’s happy face suddenly turned into a look of anxiety as he looked to his brother.  
  
Dean squeezed his brother’s hand. “It’s okay Sam” he whispered.  
  
“I….” Sam started to say, voice muffled by the mask. He pulled it down out of the way and continued. “I’ve done everything all the books have told me to do and taken the proper vitamins and had regular ultrasound scans. I had really bad morning sickness for a good few weeks at the beginning…..”.  
  
The memories of how pale and sickly his brother had been months ago, came into the fore front of the older hunter’s mind. Now he knew why his brother had been so ill, it now made sense. Guilt ran through him again at the thought that his brother had been dealing with that all by himself. His sullen expression got the attention of his younger sibling.  
  
“But I’ve been okay other than that” Sam continued as he squeezed his brother’s hand back, letting him know that it was alright.   
  
Another memory, this time more recent came to Dean. “Indigestion…..you’ve had quite of bit of heart burn, right Sam?”.  
  
“Yeah….I have” the pregnant hunter said, slightly taken aback that despite all the secrecy, his older brother had still picked up on it.  
  
The doctor reached for the gel. “That’s normal. I can prescribe something for that. Now, are you ready to see your baby again?”.  
  
Sam nodded his head as enthusiastically as he could, without pulling on his sewn up chest. “Most definitely”.  
  
Before Dean knew it, the next thing he saw was an image flicker up on the screen. “Oh my God…is that….is that the baby?”.  
  
“That’s the baby” the doctor affirmed.  
  
Dean felt his eyes start to fill with tears as he watched the unmistakable image of his and Sam’s baby move around on the screen. He could make out his arms moving around in front of his face. “Does he look okay?” he asked, his voice choking up at the end.  
  
“He….yes…he is perfect and is proud to show us too” the doctor laughed as she pointed out the thing between the baby’s legs that proved his gender. “Very active. The placenta is still intact, and I can see no problems with the pregnancy from your injuries. I will however, mainly for your reassurance, get you hooked up to a foetal monitor for a day or two” she said as she put some straps around the pregnant hunter’s gravid abdomen.  
  
Whilst she did that, the older hunter looked at his brother lovingly as he fought to hold back his tears. “Did you hear that, Sam? Perfect!”.  
  
Sam froze when the familiar sound filled the room, the fast whoosing sound of their baby’s heartbeat. “Wow…he’s alright….he really is okay….” he said.  
  
Dean remained speechless as he blocked everything else out in the room and just focused on the steady rhythm of the baby’s heart beating. It was hypnotic and made everything real and, just as his brother’s heartbeat was- the greatest sound in the world.  
  
“Averaging about 160 beats per minute. Whatever you’ve been doing Sam, you’ve been doing it right. You’ve been through enough this morning already so I’m going to leave you to rest” the physician said as she removed her gloves and disposed of them. “And here’s the scan photo to add to your collection” she said handing over the glossy paper to the younger hunter before leaving the room.  
  
As soon as she left the room, Dean broke down in tears, as the added comfort of the extra reassurance hit home. “I can’t believe that’s our baby….” he said as he looked at the newest scan photo”.  
  
“I’m sorry……sorry that you’ve missed out on all the other scans Dean….” the pregnant hunter said solemnly. “Missed out on so much…”.  
  
“I haven’t really….” Dean began as he reached for the bag of his brother’s belongings and pulled out the wallet. “I kinda had a chance to catch up….”.  
  
Sam smiled through his own tears as he realised that his brother had found the old scan photos that he had saved for this moment. “I didn’t want you to miss a thing…..”.  
  
Dean shook his head as he put the wallet down on the bed next to his brother. “I’m not going to miss out on anything else. No more tears Sam, no more apologies from either of us. This is it- the first day of the rest of our lives, as a family. Speaking of which…” he sniffed, wiping the last few drops of his tears away, “You need to sleep some more…..Because you’re going to have a visitor later on and you need to save some of your strength for then…”.  
  
The pregnant hunter’s eyes widened with excitement and elation. “Bobby?”.  
  
“Yeah, Bobby” Dean confirmed. “I rang him earlier on this morning, he’s on his way as we speak.  
  
Sam looked over at the foetal monitor machine which was flashing and beeping and recording the measurements. He relaxed back into the bed and felt his eyes close once again and gave into the effects of the increased sedation.  
  
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When Bobby Singer finally reached the hospital a couple of hours after lunchtime that day, he was escorted into Sam’s room by a nurse.  
  
“He’s sedated at the moment, but you can go in and see in” she had told him.  
  
Dean, was dozing on the chair next to bed, still not willing to leave his brother’s side. He stirred when he sensed someone entering the room, albeit very quietly. “Bobby!” he said when his eyes opened fully.  
  
“Hey…..” the oldest hunter whispered. His eyes were drawn firstly to the blood stained shirt and jacket that Dean wore, and then to the machines and the younger hunter. “Jesus Dean….” he said as the seriousness of the situation sank in with him. “How’s he doing now?”.  
  
“He’s okay. He’s been awake and been talking. Short of breath and in a lot of pain, but him and the baby are going to be fine….” the older hunter said.  
  
Bobby exhaled with relief. It was worth the long drive just to see for himself that Sam was stable. “Have you had a break at all? You look like you could do with a cup of coffee and a shower, get out of those clothes at least….”.  
  
Dean looked down at his clothes, realising that he was still wearing the clothes caked on with his brother’s blood. “You’re not wrong there……but I’m not leaving Sam. I don’t want him to be alone when he wakes again”.  
  
“I’ll stay with him, go and sort yourself out Dean” Bobby said kindly but sternly.  
  
“Okay. Thanks Bobby” he said rather reluctantly but equally glad of the chance to get himself cleaned up. “I’ve left the Impala in the parking lot where Sam…..where Sam got shot…”.  
  
“Take my truck” the older hunter said as he tossed his keys over. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going to leave Sam alone, I promise”.  
  
  
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Sam came round from the latest dose of sedation to find his faithful mentor sitting in the chair next him, reading a newspaper.  
  
“Bobby….” Sam squeaked.  
  
“About time you woke up, sleepy head…..been bored outta my mind” Bobby said jokingly.  
  
The injured hunter laughed feebly. “Nice to see you too….” he said. He paused just to listen to the foetal monitor beeping away before turning his attention back to the older hunter. “No grapes? That’s what you bring sick people in the hospital….”.  
  
Bobby shook his head. “God Sam don’t ever scare us like that again, okay?”.  
  
“I won’t…..this is it Bobby. I’m done with hunting, so is Dean. Our priority is with the baby now…our baby…” the pregnant hunter said.  
  
“Too damn right, and your not going to be lifting even a finger Sam” Dean said as he appeared in the doorway. He went over to his brother and leant over to kiss him on the forehead before pulling away and looking at Bobby awkwardly.  
  
Bobby cleared his throat. “It’s okay, there’s no need to do embarrassment now. Just go easy on me, that’s all, there’s some things that I don’t need to see”.  
  
Dean smiled and planted the kiss on his brother’s forehead.   
  
“I’ve got to used to the idea anyway, especially if the two of you are going to be living with me” Bobby continued.  
  
“Bobby do you still mean what you said about giving us a home?” Sam asked wanting to clarify that he hadn’t misheard. “It’s going to be a lot for you to take on….”.  
  
“Of course ya idgits” Bobby said. “Both of you…..and the baby” he said, taking note of the pregnant hunter’s abdomen for the first time since arriving.  
  
“Really?” the older sibling asked.  
  
Bobby sighed. “Have you two gone deaf or something, or am I speaking double dutch? You’re all coming to live with me, for as long as you need”.  
  
Sam reached out for his mentor’s hand and patted it gently. “Thank you Bobby”.  
  
“I’ve already started clearing out the two spare rooms. One for you two, and one for the baby. It’s a done deal” Bobby said.  
  
Dean shook his mentor’s hand and then pulled him into a tight hug. “Thanks Bobby. I’m going to pay my way, I promise. Going to get myself one of those regular 9-5 jobs like everyone else. I‘ve got a family to provide for now….”.  
  
Bobby reached into his pocket and took out an envelope brimming with money. “That reminds me, here’s your first wage packet….” he said handing it over to the older brother.  
  
“No way, I can’t accept it, like I said I’m going to pay my way” Dean protested.  
  
“You earnt this fair and square. All that time you spent doing up the Mustang. I sold her on and someone was more than happy to pay over the odds for her. She was scrap metal which I had for free, you put her together and invested a lot of time and patience in her. So the money’s yours” the oldest hunter insisted.  
  
The stunned older Winchester accepted the envelope and glanced through the wad of money. “Wow”. It felt pretty darn good knowing that he had earnt this money fair and square, without having to deceive or de-fraud anybody.  
  
Sam smiled proudly at his brother, and father of his child. “I think you’ve found your vocation in life. If you managed to make that much for just one car, imagine how much you could make in a week, a month, a year!?! Bobby hunts down scrap cars, Dean fixes them right up and then sell them on for profit. There‘s nothing that you don‘t know about cars Dean….”.  
  
Bobby nodded his head in agreement with the younger hunter. “Sam’s right. He’s seriously ill, yet he still comes up trumps with the bright ideas and brains of the operation”.  
  
The smile on Dean’s face became wider and wider as he lit up with excitement at the prospect. “You’re right. I love it. Let’s go for it”.  
  
“It’s getting late guys, why don’t you book yourselves into a Motel. I’m still really tired, so I’m not going to be much company whilst I’m passed out” the pregnant hunter said diplomatically.  
  
Dean looked at his brother gone out as if his request was utterly ridiculous.  
  
“Seriously” Sam pressed on. “Bobby, no offence but you look like crap”.  
  
“That’s the thanks I get for driving hundreds of miles to come to see you” the oldest man said light heartedly.  
  
Sam moaned softly at the band of tightness from the wound. “It’s fine Dean” he cautioned as his brother’s face turned into a look of concern. “Please? I’m hardly likely to be going anywhere for a while, so I’ll be here in the morning”.  
  
“Okay. Let’s go Bobby. Oh, one thing though….” Dean said as he pulled out something from the back pocket of his clean jeans. “I’m using this….one last time then I’m burning it” he said as he flashed the fake credit card.   
  
“I guess that’s okay” the youngest Winchester said, trying to keep his heavy eyelids open for a few more seconds.  
  
“Awesome. Sweet dreams Sammy” the older sibling said to his brother happily.  
  
Bobby gathered up his belongings and headed for the door. “See you in the morning”.  
  
Sam found the energy to mutter a few more words. “Oh and Dean…….by the way….it’s Sam, not Sammy….”.  
  
Dean smiled but then turned it into his trademark smirk. “Nah, you’ll always be my Sammy”.  
  
“Bitch” Sam said quietly as he lost the battle with his eyelids.  
  
“Jerk…..” Dean said before he left the room and closed the door behind him carefully and quietly.


	25. Chapter 25

10 days later, and Sam had continued to thrive and make progress in recovering, getting stronger every day, with the promise of a discharge in the coming days.  
  
Bobby had gone back home to sort out the house, cleaning and tidying and re-organising things around downstairs for Sam to live in until he would be strong enough to tackle the stairs. He steam cleaned everything in sight, not wanting to put the younger hunter at risk of picking up anything that would hamper his recovery.  
  
Sam had now moved out of the ICU and to a rehabilitation ward. He was yet to get out of bed. Today was when the physical therapists were going to get him moving around again.  
  
“Hey” Dean said breezily as he entered his brother’s room. “I bought you something. Thought we could try you with something to eat, see how you go. Hopefully we can kick start your appetite again”.  
  
The younger hunter had been drip fed since his trauma and he hadn’t yet attempted to eat anything solid since. The medical team had removed the feeding tube an hour ago.  
  
“What have you got?” Sam asked curiously.  
  
“Ice-cream. Chocolate flavour” the older hunter said as he opened up the pot and dug the spoon in.  
  
Sam looked sceptical. “Ice-cream?”.  
  
Dean nodded his head. “Yes. The nurse suggested it actually. Something small and easy to swallow, just to get your body used to eating again. Plus it’ll help soothe your sore throat hopefully”.  
  
“Let’s give it a try” the recovering hunter declared. He tried to sit himself up but his weak arms just weren’t strong enough as yet. His brother assisted him to sit upright.  
  
“Do you want to try holding the spoon?” Dean asked as he held it out to his brother.  
  
Sam took it with both hands and gently guided it into his mouth. At first it felt very strange, actually having food in his mouth. He was wondering how to swallow, but his body did it for him and the ice-cream slid down his throat, soothing the burning and dryness as it went down. “I’ve forgotten how much I missed food” he said as he handed the empty spoon back to his brother to reload.  
  
Dean handed the spoon back and watched with glee as his brother ate with more enthusiasm until the small pot of ice-cream was empty. “Can I get you anything else? You name it, I’ll go and get it for you”.  
  
“I’m okay, don’t want to push my luck. As soon as I’m back on my feet properly I’ll be back to eating by the bucket load” the pregnant hunter said as he rested his hands on his stomach.  
  
“Good, I want our son to be big and strong” Dean said as he put his hand on top of his brothers.  
  
Sam laughed. “I’m going to get a lot bigger Dean. This kid had me hooked on red meat of any sorts, potato chips, fries and banana milkshake. I blame you for that”.  
  
“That would explain your sudden addiction to McDonalds” Dean said. “Wait, fries and banana milkshake? As in at the same time?”.  
  
Sam blushed and smiled embarrassedly. “Yeah…I know that it’s kinda gross. No wonder I got fat so quickly”.  
  
“I don’t care about your weight. In fact you’ve lost a few pounds since being in hospital so you need to start gaining weight again. You’re beautiful Sam, you’re really glowing. I may not have known that you were pregnant….but I noticed the subtle things. The way you looked so content and serene with yourself, the healthy glow in your cheeks, the twinkle in your eyes. You’re more beautiful now than ever…..” he said kissing his brother on the lips now that he was rid of the oxygen mask over his face. “I’ve got something to show you….” he said rifling through the bag of groceries. He pulled out an application form.  
  
“Uh…it’s a piece of paper Dean…” the pregnant hunter observed.  
  
Dean shook his head. “Nuh uh…this is an application for a credit card and bank account. I mean, a legitimate card and account. There’s just one thing that I want to run past you. Seeing as we can’t really use our surname as we’re still technically wanted by the FBI…even though I’m technically dead…..I thought we could alter it slightly and add mom’s maiden name.  
  
“Campbell?” Sam stated but turned it into more of a question.  
  
“Winchester-Campbell. I know it’s a bit of a mouthful but I don’t want to lose our status as a Winchester. Mom was born a Campbell, but died a Winchester. If you don’t like it then we can go back to the drawing board….” the older hunter said when he saw his brother’s look of intense concentration.  
  
Sam smiled excitedly. “I love it” he said as he watched his brother’s face relax and then add the surname in the correct column on the form.  
  
“Can I shave a few years off my age while we’re at it?” the older hunter joked when he started to add his date of birth.  
  
“No…..” Sam warned his brother playfully.  
  
Dean put the tip of his pen in his mouth and bit down on it. “Occupation?”.  
  
“That’s easy. Mechanic, small hold-business partner, aspiring entrepreneur….take your pick” the younger hunter declared proudly.  
  
“Mechanic will do just fine….wow, I can’t believe that we’re getting so hyped up, filling in a credit card application….it’s just so, so….” Dean started, trying to find the right words.  
  
“Vanilla? Run-of the mill? Normal?” Sam asked, laughing happily. “Do you think you’ll miss hunting?”.  
  
Dean thought about the question carefully before answering. “No, I don’t think that I will. In the end, we were doing it for all the wrong reasons, you know? There’s no way that I want to bring our son up like we were raised. Dad’s intentions were there, but I wouldn’t want that for him, he deserves better than that”.  
  
Sam smiled, satisfied with his brother’s answer. “You know, we’ve got to stop calling our baby ‘him’. I kinda had a name for him, when I first saw him on the ultrasound, he was about the size of a pip”.  
  
“Pip? That’s cute….hey pip!” Dean tested. He smiled when the baby kicked back at his hand at the sound of his voice.  
  
“Told you he likes the sound of your voice” the pregnant hunter said, glad that the baby was backing up his statement.  
  
“That’s just a nickname until he’s born, right? Because otherwise he’s seriously going to get a beating when he starts kindergarten” the older sibling teased.  
  
“What’s wrong with pip? It’s a good strong name, right?” Sam said seriously. When his brother’s face turned serious too, he cracked and burst out laughing. “I was joking Dean”.  
  
Dean sighed with relief. “Thank God for that. But if you were serious then I would have been fine with it. If you’re happy, then so am I”.  
  
“I’m very happy. I just can’t wait to get out of this damn bed” Sam said, fed up at still being confined to his hospital bed.  
  
“You will. You’ve got your first lot of physical therapy this afternoon. By the end of the week, you’ll be running down the corridors” Dean said, giving his brother some hope and reassurance.  
  
“Not at nearly 6 months pregnant I won’t! I’m approaching the third trimester in the next couple of weeks” Sam said calmly.   
  
Dean’s eyes widened at the prospect of only having 3 months to prepare for the baby’s arrival. “I need to make a phone-call. I’ll be back in 5 minutes, I promise…..”.  
  
Sam watched his brother rush out the door, dialling the numbers on his cell-phone. “Okay….it’s not like I can go anywhere anyway!”.  
  
As soon as he’d rounded the corner, Bobby had picked up the phone.  
  
“Bobby-it’s Dean. I need you to do me a massive favour. There’s some things that I need you to get for me…..”.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
“Okay Sam, we’ll help you to swing your legs around off the bed and we’ll help you to stand when you’re ready” one of the physical therapists said.  
  
Dean held the drip bag and catheter for his brother and hung them up onto the drip stand. “You can do this Sam……”.  
  
Sam’s feet touched the floor. The hard floor underneath him felt foreign, but encouraged him to take the next step. His hands wrapped tightly around the bars of the walker. Taking a big breath in, with some assistance, he got to his feet, wobbling at first due to his altered centre of gravity and the weakness in his legs from not using them for nearly 2 weeks. “I’m standing….I’m standing….”.  
  
“Easy Sam. Just get your balance first before taking a step. When you’re ready, put one foot in front of the other, slowly and gently and lean on the walker as much as you need to” the young woman told him.  
  
The older hunter took a few steps ahead of his brother. “Walk to me Sam…three or four steps at the most”.  
  
“Okay….” Sam said breathlessly. He focused all of his attention and efforts on reaching his brother. He lifted one leg up and brought it in front of the other until he’d moved an inch. “I did it…..”.  
Dean smiled with pride at his brother’s small, but significant progress. “A couple more, come on, you can do it” he encouraged.  
  
Sam took another step forward, then another, then another until he clung onto his brother for support. “A few more” he said, getting increasingly out of breath.  
  
“I think that’s it for today Sam. You’ve done really well. We’ll do more tomorrow, get you further” the kind physical therapist told her patient.  
  
“No, a few more….please?” the young hunter begged.  
  
The older hunter tried to get his exhausted brother to see sense. “You’re exhausted, you’ve done so well. By the time you turn back around to bed, you would have walked a few metres. That’s excellent, but listen to them Sam, you don’t want to over do things”.  
  
The pregnant hunter suddenly felt his knees buckling under his weight and nodded his head. “Okay, you’re right, I can’t stand for much longer…..” he grunted as he made the few unsteady steps back to bed where he collapsed back down tiredly.  
  
“One day at a time. Little goals everyday” Dean said as he signalled his gratitude to the physical therapists as they left them to it. “Can I get you anything?”.  
  
Sam pulled the covers back over him again while he got his breath back. “No, I’m good for now” he said as he looked longingly out of the window.  
  
Dean noticed his brother’s sullen expression. “You’ll get to go outside soon, I promise. You’re closer everyday, don’t be too hard on yourself”.  
  
“Thank you. Just thank you” Sam said as held onto his brother’s hand and clutched it tightly.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Just over a week later, about 3 weeks in hospital altogether, the doctor declared that Sam was fit enough to be discharged. He still had a way to go before he’d be fully recovered. He was able to walk a good few metres unaided, although it still left him breathless. His appetite had started to return to normal and was eating little and often to keep his strength up.  
  
Dean was apprehensive about the long car journey to Bobby’s house, but Sam reassured him that he’d be just fine.  
  
“We’ll stop as often as you need to, okay? If it takes us until tomorrow morning, because we need to stop overnight then so be it. Promise me?” the older brother said.  
  
Sam nodded his head as he put his hooded sweater on, tugging it down over his swollen stomach. Any weight that he had lost during his hospital stay had been gained back plus a few more pounds. “I promise Dean”.  
  
“Have you got your meds?” the older hunter asked, checking everything off mentally.  
  
“Dean….” Sam warned his brother. “It’s fine, we’re all good to go, stop fussing”.  
  
The older hunter blew out a long breath and rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I know you though, you’re stubborn and head-strong and will carry on regardless…..”.  
  
The pregnant hunter glared at his brother. “I wonder where I get that trait from?” he said folding his arms above his stomach.  
  
Dean just wheeled the wheelchair right next to his brother. “Sit!” he ordered.  
  
Sam was too tired to protest so he carefully lowered himself down into the chair. “We’re going home Dean. Home…..” he said, a mixture of conflicting emotions running through his mind.  
  
“I know. I don’t know who’s more excited. Us, or Bobby. He might start to regret it though when we’re knee high in diapers with a screaming baby and massive laundry bills” the older hunter said.  
  
“Do you know what? As crazy as that sounds….I can’t wait” the pregnant hunter said as he looked up at his brother.  
  
“Me neither….” the other hunter agreed as he grabbed their bags and belongings, and wheeled his brother out of the room towards the car, away from the hospital and a few steps closer to their new lives.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam had tolerated the long car journey better than either of them had expected. He had slept the majority of the way, only waking when Dean had stopped at a rest stop to give them a break.   
  
It was late in the night, early hours of the next morning, when the Impala finally pulled up outside Bobby’s house-their new home.  
  
“Sam?” Dean whispered carefully, rubbing his finger along his brother’s cheek to gently rouse him from his sleep. “We’re here…..” he yawned.  
  
The pregnant hunter stirred, and blinked as he opened his eyes wearily. He smiled as he recognised the familiar surroundings of the salvage yard, despite the darkness of the night.  
  
The security lights came on, flooding them in white light, as Bobby appeared by the front door, ready and waiting to assist the exhausted hunter’s into the house with their belongings.  
  
Dean jumped out of the driver’s seat and ran around to the passenger side to aid his brother. “Put your arms around me….let me take your weight….”.  
  
“Thank you….” Sam said as he leant on his brother, allowing him to support his walking as they slowly trudged up to the front door.  
  
“Welcome home boys” Bobby said, as he greeted the younger hunters with warmth and enthusiasm despite the lateness of the hour. “You get yourselves straight to bed, I’ll get your stuff out the car”.  
  
“Thanks Bobby” Dean said, as he led his brother into the lounge, the make-shift bedroom for his brother until he regained enough strength back in his body to climb stairs again.  
  
Sam let go of his brother when he reached the living room. “I can take it from here” he said as he slowly sat down on the couch.  
  
Dean helped his brother to swing his legs up onto the couch and take his shoes off. “Bobby’s got you all set up here. You’re right by the kitchen if you get hungry or thirsty, TV remote control, downstairs bathroom. You won’t have to move far at all. I’ll keep my cell phone with me so if you need me at any time during the night, just ring me….” he said as he handed Sam his cell phone and put it down on the table easily within his reach. Is there anything I can do for you before I head upstairs?”.  
  
Sam snuggled into the warmth of the couch and pulled the bed covers up over him. “No…I’m good. Thank you. Get yourself to bed, you’re exhausted from driving all day and night. Thank you for getting us home safely” he said, closing his eyes and reaching out for his brother’s hand before putting it onto his swollen stomach.  
  
Dean yawned again and then smiled. “You’re welcome. Sweet dreams Sammy….” he said tiredly. He switched on the small lamp in the corner of the room, and then turned the main lights off on his way out, before trudging up the flight of stairs to one of the spare rooms- and what would now be his and Sam’s bedroom.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The next morning, the older hunter woke from rejuvenating sleep and felt refreshed. That was the best night’s sleep he had had for weeks and weeks. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw the bundled up bed covers and pillows folded up on the couch. “Sam?” he asked, as he strolled around the lounge and headed into the kitchen in the search for his brother.  
  
The pregnant hunter limped into the lounge and carefully sat back down on the couch. “Morning…” he smiled when he saw his brother.  
  
“You okay? Where were you? I was worried….you shouldn‘t be up and walking around like this….” the older hunter said as he joined his brother on the couch.  
  
Sam rubbed his growling stomach absent mindedly. “I was in the bathroom Dean. It‘s not like I‘ve been out running or anything…”.  
  
“I just want to help” Dean said.  
  
“I know you do. I’m hungry, I could use some breakfast” the injured hunter said as he made to get up.  
  
Dean jumped to his feet in an instant. “Don’t even think about getting up. What do you want and I’ll get it for you….” he said running over to the fridge and opening it up to examine the contents.  
  
“Milk and cereal will do just fine” Sam said as he relaxed back on the couch, resigning himself to the fact that his brother was going to fuss over him for the rest of the day- at least.  
  
“You’re going to need something more substantial than some milk and cereal. Fair play to Bobby, he could start up a restaurant with the amount of food he has here. I could make you some pancakes…..an omelette, waffles…” Dean shouted out as he went through the possible options. “Scrambled eggs?”.  
  
Sam rolled his eyes and laughed to himself. “Whatever’s easiest for you. It all sounds good…but really, don’t make a fuss, cereal is fine…”.  
  
Dean sighed, but poured some cereal into a bowl and added some milk. He grabbed a spoon and brought it over to his brother. “Nothing is a fuss, not for you. I nearly lost you Sam….both of you. I want to spoil you, because it’s nothing less than you deserve”.  
  
Tucking into his cereal, Sam smiled at his brother’s mock pout. “Have we got any maple syrup?”. His brother obviously wanted something to do to help so he gave in to his fussing and humoured him.  
  
The older hunter shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“If we’re having pancakes, we need maple syrup to go on top” the younger hunter elaborated when his brother’s face was one of confusion.  
  
“If we haven’t, then I’ll go to the store to buy some” Dean said excitedly as headed over to the kitchen again and immediately started cracking eggs into a bowl.  
  
Bobby made an appearance, adjusting a worn baseball cap on his head.  
  
“I’m making pancakes Bobby, do you want some?” Dean asked animatedly as he whisked up the pancake mixture eagerly.  
  
Sam just smiled at the expression on his mentor’s face as he wolfed down his bowl of cereal.  
  
“Uh, sure” the eldest of the trio said, sceptical about what he was agreeing to. He looked to the youngest hunter and mouthed out, “Can he even cook?”.  
  
The pregnant hunter laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “We’ll soon see….” he whispered back.  
  
Dean was too busy pouring the batter into the pan to notice the almost silent conversation between the other hunters.  
  
“Do you need any help there Dean?” Bobby asked, but keeping his distance from the surrounding area the hunter was cooking in.  
  
“Nuh, I got this Bobby. Go and sit down at the table ready. This is my treat. Want to look after my boys“.  
  
Bobby’s uncertainty stepped up another notch at the hunter’s capabilities at cooking, but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and went to sit at the table when he heard the mailman knocking on the door. “I’ll go and get it, don’t move Sam…”.  
  
Sam’s hyper sensitive sense of smell, was picking up something very favourable indeed. The smell of freshly made pancakes permeated through and as yet, he couldn’t smell anything that was burning. He got up and went to sit at the table ready, catching a glimpse at what was in the frying pan. “They smell incredible…”.  
  
Dean smiled at his culinary delight as he moved the golden cooked pancakes from the pan onto a plate and then covered it up to keep them warm whilst he made another batch. “Another few minutes for the next lot then they’re done”.  
  
Bobby strolled back into the kitchen, sorting through the pile of letters he had received through the post. “Junk…..junk….junk….oh bill….another bill….” he said as he put them into piles. He stopped when he came to the last letter in his hand. “Hhmm….this one’s for you Dean”.  
  
The older hunter turned to look at his mentor, his face lighting up. “For me? Awesome…..my first letter in our new home…..” he said taking the letter from his mentor. “Take over Bobby, but don’t burn them!” he said, ignoring the rolling eyes from the other man as he took over from him.  
  
His brother’s excitement made the younger sibling curious so he leant back in his chair to catch a glimpse of the contents of the envelope. “You’ve given out the address already?”.  
  
Dean unfolded the letter, and if it were possible, his elation increased as he looked at the shiny new credit cards in front of him, with his and his brother’s name on. Their new names that they’d be using for the rest of their lives. Dean and Sam Winchester-Campbell. “Our credit cards Sam. Legitimate credit cards….”.  
  
Bobby flipped over the pancakes and smiled at the happiness that something so simple had brought to the older brother. “Geez Dean, if you wanted a real credit card, you coulda used mine and paid for the bills that came with it too…..”.  
  
Sam took his card from his brother and examined it closely, smiling. “It’s real. It’s ours…..” he said, before he turned serious at the thought. “Linked to a bank account that we own….that we need to actually pay for….” he said rather worriedly. “Baby’s are expensive….”.  
  
Dean wasn’t phased by the revelation of their reality. “Sam? It’s going to be okay, I promise. If I have to work 20 hours a day to bring in enough money…then so be it…”.  
  
“I wouldn’t worry about that for now” Bobby said, trying to hide a look of elation as he turned the cooker off and brought the plate of pancakes to the table. He didn’t want to ruin the surprise, just yet anyway. “Now let’s eat, before it goes cold and ruin’s Dean’s hard work”.  
  
Sam wasted no time in piling pancakes onto his plate and drowning them in maple syrup. After catching a fleeting look from the other men he stopped for a second. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m eating for two here!” he argued.  
  
“We’re not…just glad to see you better again and eating” his brother replied as he too started to fill his plate up.  
  
The pregnant hunter grabbed his fork and cut up a portion of food and put it in his mouth. The pancakes were near enough perfect. “Mmmm…..Dean, these are good….so good” he moaned as he chewed and then swallowed. “Where did you learn how to cook so well? Considering you practically lived off microwave food and burgers….”.  
  
Dean blushed from ear to ear at the compliment. “I might have watched the odd cookery program from time to time….plus I’ve eaten enough of these myself to hazard a guess to how they’re done……are they really that good?”.  
  
Bobby nodded his head in agreement as he sampled a piece on his plate. “Yeah. Really good. Look at you, little miss housewife, getting all domesticated on our arses!”.  
  
“I don’t care, make fun of me all that you want…..I’m too damn happy right now” the older brother said, pouting, but then smiling again, unable to remain pissed for long.  
  
Sam finished off his breakfast and leant back in his chair, giving a satisfied groan. “I think it’s cute….” he said, as he put his hands on his distended abdomen as his son was kicking up a storm. “My baby daddy all grown up…”.  
  
Dean beamed back at his brother, smiling with embarrassment. There were numerous jokes or remarks that he wanted to make, but given the present company it probably wouldn’t be appropriate. Besides, he had decided that he didn’t want to rush things with his brother.  
  
Luckily, the eldest man broke the silence, unable to stay quiet for any longer. “I want to show you something. Both of you” he announced, getting up from the breakfast table.  
  
Shrugging his shoulders after a glance from his brother, Dean helped his brother up from the chair. “What is it Bobby?”.  
  
Bobby rolled his eyes. “It’s a surprise you idgits, you need to see it, I’m not telling you what it is. It’s outside, so you’ll need to put some shoes on” he told the retired hunters.  
  
Sam located his shoes and was about to bend down to retrieve it when his brother ran over to him and beat him to it.   
  
“No bending down for anything….sit” Dean ordered his brother.  
  
“I’m more than capable of putting my own shoes on. I remember you teaching me how to tie up my laces” the pregnant hunter recalled.  
  
Dean ushered for his brother to sit as he bent down and put his feet into the shoes and then tied them up, making sure they were on properly. “I know you can, but that would mean you’d have to bend over and I don’t want you straining yourself”.  
  
“Thank you” the pregnant brother said solemnly as he grabbed his brother’s hand and brought it up to his face and then laid a gentle kiss on it. “Love you”.  
  
“Love you too” Dean said softly.  
  
Bobby cleared his throat, breaking up the intimacy between the brothers. “Sorry to break up the moment…but I really wanna show you something, ‘cos I really think that you’ll like it”.  
  
Dean got to his feet and held out his hand for Sam to lever himself up off the couch.  
  
The younger hunters followed their beloved mentor out the front door, Sam hobbling around slowly, letting his brother take his weight. They walked across the yard, crunching over the gravel as they went until Bobby stopped short of his drive.  
  
“Uh…what are we meant to be looking at Bobby” Dean said as he let go from supporting his brother and scanned the vicinity. He couldn’t see anything different in the yard.  
  
“You wouldn’t have seen it when you arrived last night because it was dark. But look up….” Bobby said, pointing up to the high arched gate that marked the entrance to his property and salvage yard.  
  
They didn’t see it at first, it took a while for their eyes to adjust and focus on the writing on the sign, which had been altered slightly. ‘Singer Salvage Yard’ had now been altered with ‘& Winchester’.  
  
“Singer……and Winchester Salvage Yard’?” the older hunter read aloud, trying to get it to sink in.  
  
Sam looked from the sign, to his brother’s delighted face, and then landed on his mentor, who was stood on the spot, nervously waiting for a reaction. “Bobby….really?”.  
  
Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away from the simple, yet powerful gesture. “You really didn’t have to do this….”.  
  
Bobby smiled and patted the older brother on his back. “Sure I did. If we’re going into business together, then we need to set it up and get it established properly. It‘s set in stone now….well, actually engraved into metal, but it‘s permanent anyhow. Can you live with that?”  
  
“Yeah, I think we can live with that, can‘t we Dean?” Sam said thoughtfully as he clung onto his brother for support and comfort.  
  
“Absolutely” Dean said absent mindedly as he brought an arm around his brother, pulling him into him.  
  
Despite their apparent happiness and togetherness, Bobby sensed that there were still some things, some boundaries left to sort out between the two siblings for complete resolution of their situation. They probably hadn’t had much time to adjust before they were thrust together in near tragedy and forced to give into their true feelings. “Good. Anyway, you two have got the place to yourselves tonight. I’m meeting a friend, a fellow hunter. Going to be having a few beers so I’ll be crashing at his”.  
  
The older hunter understood what his mentor was trying do. His intentions were very heart-warming, but he didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable and pushed out of his own home. “Bobby….it’s okay, you don’t have to, really, it’s okay….this is your place….”.  
  
Bobby shook his head. “It’s all sorted. Loaded the truck up with beer and junk food all ready. I’ll be leaving in the next hour or so” he said. “Oh yeah…there’s something else that I want you to see” he said gesturing towards one of the garages down the other end of the yard. He opened up the rusty heavy metal doors to reveal a large open space. There were newly drilled work tops and shelves around the outskirts, which held numerous toolboxes and tools. “This is your garage. Thought you’d need somewhere to work on the cars when the weather’s too bad to go outside”.  
  
Dean was suddenly like a little kid on Christmas day, getting excited about every screw, wrench, spare part and inch of open space. “I’m going to make this work Bobby. I am, I promise you. I’m not going to let you down, any of you down” he said turning serious to back up his vow. “I’m ready for it!” he said with the greatest of enthusiasm.  
  
“Good, because I picked up some cars the other day which are pretty much as good as useless, just scraps of metal to be honest. But seeing as you re-built the Impala from scratch, there’s nothing that you can’t do, so it’s not going to be a problem” Bobby said confidently of the older brother’s skills and capabilities.  
  
Sam’s legs were still weak and they protesting having to stand for such a long time. He tried his best to stifle a moan but failed as he grabbed onto one of the work tops to lean on for support. “I’m fine, just a little tired…” he said as his brother and mentor rushed to his aid.  
  
“I think you’ve had enough excitement for one day, let’s get you back in the house and on the couch again” Dean told his brother.  
  
“That couch is going to be moulded into my ass soon enough!” the pregnant hunter said jokingly.  
  
Bobby laughed. “It’s only going to be a couple of weeks, then you’ll be back on your feet, ‘cos you two are more alike than you’d care to admit. You’re both head strong and stubborn. Just like your father was”.  
  
Dean smiled at the mention of their father. “I don’t care if the couch becomes Sam shaped- if it gets you better and strong again then so be it!”  
  
Sam was in too much pain to argue, so he allowed the other two concerned men to prop him up and take him back into the safety and comfort of the lounge.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Bobby had left, as promised, leaving the other two hunters alone in the house. Sam had also stuck to his promise and had fallen asleep on the couch after taking his medication.  
  
Once he knew that his brother was sound asleep, Dean had gone into his garage and started work on one of the cars, analysing the shell of the bodywork and trying to work out what parts he needed and where he could salvage them from, from the pile of wrecked cars that lined the salvage yard. It was like a jigsaw puzzle- a challenge. He likened it to hunting, trying to put the pieces together to solve the case. A couple of hours had passed, and satisfied that he’d made enough progress in one day, he went back into the house, determined to make the most of the time alone with his brother. Even though they had technically been alone in the hospital, they hadn’t really had a proper chance to speak to each other about where they were going to from here. They had a lot to catch up on. When he tugged off his work boots he went into the bathroom downstairs to clean his face and wash his hands from the dirt and grease from tending to the cars. He was surprised to see that his brother was awake and sitting up watching the TV. His hair was sticking out in every direction imaginable and his eyes were still hazy from sleep. Still, he looked so damn beautiful and was having a hard time believing that he was his now, after all this time, after everything they had gone through.  
  
“Hey” Sam said casually as he flicked through the channels. He had the bed covers wrapped around him, hiding his swollen stomach under the bulk of it. His eyes kept straying from the TV, to his brother’s grey t-shirt and old jeans, trying to visualise his body underneath.  
  
Dean pointed to the couch. “May I?”.  
  
Sam moved over to one side, to allow his brother to sit down next to him. “Of course”.  
  
The older hunter sat down and then moved closer to his brother. Neither of them spoke, just silence apart from the TV. He put his arm around Sam and re-arranged the bed covers so that they were covering both of them. Sam grabbed onto his hand and held onto it. “What do you want to do then?”.  
  
The pregnant hunter switched the TV off and put the remote control on the side table. Snuggling back into the warmth of his brother he sighed contently and rested his head into his brother’s chest. “I don’t mind, just want to be with you. We haven’t really had time to adjust to this…..to us”.  
  
“Why? Are you having doubts?” Dean asked suddenly, panicking.   
  
“God no. No way….that’s not what I meant. I’ve loved you since forever and been dreaming of this moment for….for a long while Dean. It’s just going to take me a while to believe that this is actually happening” the younger brother said as he twirled his fingers around in his brothers. “I still keep thinking that I’m dreaming and that I’m going to wake up and be all alone” Sam admitted.  
  
Dean pinched his brother’s thigh.  
  
“OW! Hey, what was that for?” Sam asked as he rubbed his leg.  
  
“Just proving to you that this is all real and that I’m not going anywhere” the older brother said as he playfully kissed his brother on the top of his head.  
  
Sam smiled and looked at his brother intently, reminding himself of every little detail. He’d memorised every part of his brother’s face long ago. He moved closer, and kissed his brother on the lips testingly, making it slow, deep and meaningful.  
  
Dean smiled back and embraced the moment by joining his brother in their kiss, which was being fuelled by their pent up love for each other, intensifying by the second as their tongues explored each other’s mouths.   
  
Both men moaned softly as the kiss gathered momentum and passion in the heat of the moment. This felt so right. Their lips smacking together as one, completing each other, as if making up the missing part of a puzzle.  
  
The older hunter gently pulled his brother into him even more, not wanting even a sliver of air between them. He closed his eyes and his moans increased as he felt the warmth of his brother’s chest up against his.  
  
Sam’s moan became of strangled groan of pain as his fragile body protested being packed up against his brother’s.  
  
Dean pulled away immediately. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry Sam. Did I hurt you?”.  
  
“No, it’s okay, it’s fine. Carry on, please?” the injured hunter pleaded. “Just a bit sore that’s all. My back’s all tight and throbbing, but it was like that before I got shot. All part of the pregnancy package. Please, carry on…”.  
  
“I…I dunno Sam” Dean said reluctantly. He shook his head as he saw his brother’s expression change suddenly. “It’s not because I don’t want to…..God you have no idea how much I want to….but you’re too fragile and precious right now for that. We will…I promise you. I don’t want to rush things, I think we should wait. At least until you’re better, hey?” he said as he lifted his brother’s pouting face by the chin, up with finger. “I want it to be special and to treat you with the utmost respect, because that’s nothing less than you deserve”.  
  
Fighting hard to gain control of his emotions, Sam sniffed and tried to wipe his eye discreetly as he felt a tear escape from his eye. “Okay….” he sobbed.  
  
“Please don’t cry Sam” the older brother said sadly. The last thing that he had wanted to do was to hurt his brother.  
  
Sam laughed through his tears. “These are happy tears Dean. Plus baby hormones. Your son is turning me into an emotional mess I’m afraid”. He composed himself, sniffing again before turning sombre as he spoke again. “I think that you’re too sweet, I think it’s an awesome idea. I want to wait too. I want it to be like our first time all over again. It’s going to be incredible”.  
  
“I want to take you out for dinner. I mean, like a date. A proper date” Dean said, showing off a big goofy grin as he waited nervously for an answer. “Tonight”.  
  
“You mean you’re actually letting me out for good behaviour?” Sam asked jokingly.  
  
Dean laughed and bit down on his lip. “Is that a yes?”.  
  
“Of course it’s a ‘yes’. Yes I’ll go out on a ‘date’ with you” the pregnant hunter answered. “But the question is, do you really want to be seen out in public with me looking like this? The only thing that fits me right now is these sweatpants worn below my belly….and an oversized hoodie? Plus I’m pretty sure that I stink, so I’m going to have to shower first”.  
  
“Those are minor things that can be easily solved. We’ll find you some clothes that fit. And there’s no way I’m letting you stand in the shower, there’s a good chance that your legs could give way and you could fall. I’ll assist you in having a bath. And I’m more than proud to be going out in public with you. You’re always beautiful to me” Dean admitted truthfully.  
  
Sam raised an eyebrow sceptically. “Always? Really?” he enquired.  
  
Dean wrinkled up his nose. “Well…there was this one time when you got covered in this nasty gooey crap from a zombie, you didn’t look so hot then…..or smell that great either, but other than that….”.  
  
“You’re a jerk, do you know that?” the pregnant hunter said as he nudged his brother mischievously.   
  
“Yeah, but you love me though, right?” the older hunter asked.  
  
“Yeah, I love you…” Sam said poignantly. He looked at his watch. “So how about that bath then? That’s going to be a big military operation and take some time. Getting me out of the bath is going to be time consuming too”.  
  
The older hunter got to his feet and held out his arms. “Let me worry about all of that, I just want you to relax”.  
  
Sam got to his feet slowly, groaning loudly at the dull ache in his back, and the tightness in his sewn up chest and healing lungs. “I’m okay Dean….” he said, getting in there first before his brother had a chance to intercept him. He took his brother’s arms and used them to lean on as they walked out of the lounge and into the bathroom down the other end of the hall.  
  
After running the bath for his brother and testing the water temperature, Dean helped him to remove his clothes. Sam became very self-conscious when he was stood in the bathroom naked, save for a small towel around his waist with which he tried to cover as much of himself up as possible.  
  
Dean decided to respect his brother’s privacy. “If you don’t want me to look Sam, that’s fine. I’ll turn the other way until you get in. There’s plenty of time for that….”.  
  
“It’s just…I’m six and a half months pregnant, I don’t really feel too good about myself at the moment…plus, this…” Sam said as he pointed to the fresh scar on his chest from the operation.  
  
It sent a shiver down the older hunter’s spine at the raw memory from the shooting and how close he came to losing the man he loved. He reached out to touch it but then withdrew his hand quickly and lowered it down onto his brother’s stomach. It was only now, he could see it in it’s entirety and it fascinated him no end to know that their child was growing in there.  
  
“You can touch me. I’m not going to break you know” Sam said as he seized his brother’s hands and laid them on his stomach whilst he moved into his sibling’s body, moulding them together.  
  
Dean felt his brother’s naked skin up against his clothed body. “There’s nothing to be ashamed about. If only you realised how beautiful you are…”.  
  
Sam smiled at his brother’s attempt to make him feel better. It must have worked though because he allowed the towel to drop down onto the floor. He took hold of his brother’s arms again and gently stepped into the bath and lowered himself down into the bath, relishing in the warm bubbles, working out the knots and kinks in his back. “You have no idea how good this is….”.  
  
“Do you need any help? Or do you think you can manage whilst I try and resolve the clothing dilemma?” the older hunter asked his brother.  
  
“I’ll be fine for a bit. Just going to lie back and let the water work it’s magic. I should be okay for shirts. Bought some bigger ones just recently. Just see if Bobby has got any jeans or pants that are bigger than mine” Sam said in a trance like state as the water was hypnotising him.  
  
Dean lingered on the spot for a few seconds, hesitantly. “Okay. I’ll be in back in two shakes” he said rushing out the bathroom door and taking the stairs two at a time in his haste to get back to his brother.  
  
Sam closed his eyes and swirled his hands around in the water and settled back in the water, trying to immerse as much of himself under the water as possible. The only thing that was sticking out, was his burgeoning abdomen. He smiled as he felt his son kick him from within and brought a hand up to his stomach over the exact spot. After unwinding for a few minutes, he reached out for the bottle of shampoo on the shelf next to him.  
  
“Hey, let me get that for you! Remember, no reaching or stretching” Dean said as he appeared in the doorway and ran over to get the bottle down from the shelf and handed it over to his brother’s waiting hand.  
  
“Thank you” the pregnant hunter said as he squeezed out some shampoo in his hands and started to lather it into his hair. “Did you have any luck?”.  
  
Dean held up some reasonably tidy jeans of Bobby’s. “Yeah, this is the best I can do. Found a nice shirt with your stuff. It’s the biggest size you’ve got. But don’t worry, we’ll go shopping for some new clothes tomorrow. We could both use some new clothes. We’ve not been able to have nice things before now what with hunting and stuff. Kinda rips your clothes to shreds” he said amusedly as he inspected his shirt and rubbed at the faint stain from something he’d rather not think about.  
  
Sam rinsed the lather from his hair, the jet of water clumsily going everywhere, soaking the floor. “Damn it” he said as he awkwardly tried to adjust his position of the shower head.  
  
“Let me?” Dean offered, making it more of a question, aware that he was probably being too much of a hindrance.  
  
“Thank you” the younger sibling said gratefully as he passed it over but purposely directing it over his brother, soaking his shirt through.  
  
“Hey!” Dean shouted as he took the shower head from his brother. “You did that on purpose, right?” he asked as he splashed his brother with the jet of water.  
  
“Maybe….” Sam admitted as he smiled wickedly. “If it means you have to take your shirt off, then so be it!” he said as he splattered more water over his already wet brother.  
  
Dean licked his lips and wiped his dripping wet face with his hand. “It’s too bad that I gotta go easy on you, or you’d be in so much trouble” he said as he finished rinsing off his brother’s hair.  
  
Sam reached out and took hold of his brother’s shirt, pulling him closer before planting a wet kiss on his lips. He smiled as he watched more water drip down his brother’s now dripping wet shirt. His hands popped open the buttons that he could reach. “You’ll have to change your shirt before we go out, so just saving some time”.  
  
The older hunter gave into his brother’s demands and undid the remaining buttons of his shirt and promptly removed it. Reaching for a towel, he dried himself off as best he could and patted the towel through his hair to soak up the droplets of water that had migrated that far up. “Happy now?” he asked, kneeling back down, not realising that the floor was drenched. “Aw crap!” he said standing up and examining the damage to his jeans.  
  
Sam just laughed and looked at his brother with a glint in his eyes.  
  
“Fine, you win!” Dean said as he unbuttoned his jeans and took them off, discarding them next to his shirt before assisting his brother once again.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam was adjusting the buttons on his shirt in the bathroom, still sleepy from his bath. The jeans were a win, and he was surprised that he could even do the top button up. He dabbed some aftershave on and patted it on gently.  
  
“Are you nearly done Sam?” Dean asked as he strolled into the bathroom to check on his brother. He looked at his brother and paused in the doorway.  
  
“What?” the pregnant hunter asked, aware that his brother was staring intently at him. “Have I missed a spot on my face or something?” he asked, looking frantically in the mirror.  
  
“No. You look just fine. More than fine actually” Dean marvelled. It was then he noticed that the colour was returning to his pale sunken face. His skin glowed and radiated with health.  
  
Sam shook his head once. “It’s just dinner Dean. We go out for dinner all the time”.  
  
Dean leant against the doorframe dreamily, still not able to take his eyes off his brother. “No. This is so much more than just dinner. I’m declaring this our first official date”.  
  
“Oh God. Now that you put it that way….I’m all nervous now” the pregnant hunter said as he started to panic and tame his hair down in a frantic bid to tidy it up.  
  
Dean went up behind his brother and put his hands around him. “Sssh….it’s okay, honestly. If anyone should be nervous, it ought to be me. I feel like I should be out to try and impress you. Make up for everything I’ve done in the past. Well…not so much in the past, but the last few months or so”.  
  
Sam turned around and smiled at his worried sibling. “We can’t change the past. But what we do now will change the future, so let’s just focus on that, shall we? Because we’ve got one hell of a future to look forward to. He’s in here currently kicking my ribs to shreds”.  
  
Dean could feel something move around dully next to his skin. He laughed and pressed a hand to the mound between them. “That’s my boy”.  
  
The pregnant hunter tried to stifle a yawn, but his brother caught a glimpse of it. “If you’re too tired Sam, we can postpone and get a takeout instead”.  
  
“I’m fine. Are you sure that you’re happy with me leaving the house though?” Sam said in a serious tone of voice.  
  
“Oh….yeah, you’re right. Maybe It’s too soon. You should be resting” Dean said sternly.  
  
Sam grinned back at his brother. “I’m joking. We’re going out Dean. That’s all I’ve done for the past few weeks is rest. Now can we please get a move on, because I’m starving and if I don’t get some red meat inside of me soon, I might have to start thinking about eating you. Bit of ketchup on you and you’ll take taste great, I’m sure. I could go for some rump steak” he said as he slapped his brother’s ass teasingly.  
  
Dean laughed amusedly and all of his hesitation and reservations had disappeared in an instant. “Fine. But the first signs of you struggling, I’m getting a doggy bag and taking you straight home”.  
  
The pregnant hunter rolled his eyes and gave his brother a gentle shove through the doorway and headed for the front door.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When Bobby came back early the next morning, he found Dean curled up on the couch next to his sleeping brother.  
  
The noise of the key in the front door woke the older hunter up instantly. He had spent years, training his ears to remain alert even when he slept and had tuned them to pick up even the subtlest of noises. He slowly and gently prised himself away from his brother wincing as Sam began to stir.  
  
Dean got his feet and pulled the covers back over Sam, who luckily hadn’t woken up from the movements. Strolling into the kitchen, he frowned at his crumpled up shirt. He had only meant to stay with his brother until he fell asleep last night, but must have dozed off himself.  
  
“Morning…” Bobby whispered as Dean reached him in the kitchen area. “Sam still asleep?”.  
  
“Yeah” Dean said as he yawned and stretched out his arms. “He’s exhausted. I kinda wore him out last night” he grimaced as he went to fridge and pulled out the bottle of milk, pouring some into a glass.  
  
Bobby raised an eyebrow and squirmed on the spot. “Uh….too much information” he said clearing his throat.  
  
Dean nearly choked as he took a sip of his milk, spluttering. “No. No! I didn’t mean that…..we just went out for dinner that’s all. I was ready to take him home the second he cleared his plate, but you know what he’s like. Stubborn to the core, he kept saying that he was fine and wanted to stay a bit longer. By the time we got back I had to practically carry him over to the couch. We just talked, and talked. I think we‘re okay”.  
  
“Good. I’m glad” the eldest hunter said sincerely. “Really I am. I was ready to knock your heads together a few weeks ago”.  
  
“Did you enjoy your evening? You’re back early?” the oldest brother said.  
  
Bobby nodded his head. “Yeah. Watched the game, drank a few beers. Then Rufus the idgit cracked out the hard stuff and passed out blind drunk. Needless to say the conservations became rather one-sided from then on in”.  
  
Dean laughed, knowing what his mentor’s friend was like. He frowned when he realised that he was still in the same clothes that he was wearing last night. “I’m going to go and put my scruffy clothes on. I’m going to make a start on one of the cars. No time like the present, I’m chomping at the bit here to get stuck into some hard graft”.  
  
“You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you in a bit” the elder man replied as he waved the other hunter off.


	26. Chapter 26

The next week passed much the same every day. Sam still spent most of his day and night sleeping, but had certainly made some improvements and had been able to do a little bit more every day.  
  
Bobby and Dean worked hard out in the yard and between them, they were ploughing through the work and had just started on their third car.  
  
Dean was enjoying the sunshine and had moved the run-down car out from the garage and into the open space of the yard to make the most of the nice weather. The first thing he had done had been to get the radio working on the car so at least he could have some music whilst he worked. He was humming along to a classic rock song, leant over the hood trying to figure out where to start.  
  
Sam had had enough with resting and staring at the four walls of the lounge and had decided to venture outside. He walked slowly at first, and when he found that he wasn’t breathless anymore, ventured out further until he was stood outside. Smiling, he felt the sun on his face, inhaling the fresh air. It was then that he noticed for the first time, silly little things, like how blue the sky looked, and how white the clouds were. He could hear the faint noise of a car radio, along with his brother’s voice and the sound of him tinkering with his tools. As he trudged along the yard he found that his legs had suddenly felt stronger and he felt more confident in his ability to walk again. He hadn’t taken his medication today yet, but then realised that he wasn’t in any pain right now. He could finally see an improvement in his condition just over a month after the shooting. His back was protesting but that was due to his advancing condition which was pulling and jarring his back. That he could live with. As he approached his brother, he sat down slowly on the step stool next to the entrance of the garage. “Hey” he said as he casually leant back against the wall.  
  
The older hunter turned around and beamed back when he saw his brother sitting down serenely watching him work. “Hey! You okay? Did you walk all this way by yourself?”.  
  
“Yeah. I managed just fine. No pain today and my legs didn’t even wobble. I’m so fed up of being confined to the house, I needed some fresh air. Plus I wanted to watch my man work” Sam said as he rubbed the top of his belly and tugged at the hoodie that was stretched tight across it.  
  
Dean put down the spanner that he was holding. “How can I work, knowing that you’re right next to me? You’re a distraction” he said as he wiped his greasy hands on an old rag.  
  
Sam’s smile widened as he ran his hands through his hair distractedly. “You’ll have to get used to my presence. ‘Cos as soon as this baby’s born, you’re teaching me how to fix up cars. I’d love to help you right now but I’m guessing you’re not even going to let me even hold the old rag, let alone bend over the hood”.  
  
“You’ve got that right Sam” Dean said as he picked up a wrench and began twisting some screws next to the engine. “Okay….keep your fingers crossed. This is going to be magic” he said confidently as he dashed over to the driver’s side and turned the ignition on. The car started up first time and the retired hunter grinned manically. The engine then spluttered and died, just as the expression on his face did. “Dammit….I guess it needs a little more tweaking….”.  
  
The pregnant hunter couldn’t help but laugh. “I was thinking we could go shopping today. I don’t think that I can stretch out these sweatpants and hoodie anymore. Plus I’m due in 12 weeks and we don’t have anything for him yet. Just freaking out a little here”.  
  
Dean gave up on the car for now and knelt down on the gravel next to his brother. “There’s no need to freak out. Everything will be ready in time, I assure you. But if it makes you feel better we can go into town and pick a few things up this afternoon” he said as he tucked one his brother’s bangs behind his ear. “I’m guessing you’ll want some lunch before go?”.  
  
Sam nodded his head enthusiastically. “Damn right I’m going to need some food. I’m hungry all the time right now. Totally blame you for that”.  
  
“Figures” the older hunter said as he rolled his eyes. He got to his feet and offered an arm to his brother. “What culinary delight am I making you today then?”.  
  
Taking his brother’s arm for leverage, the pregnant hunter managed to get to his feet. He pulled his hooded sweater down over himself and started to follow his brother across the yard and into the house. “Hhhmm….as long as it’s got plenty of pickle in, then I don’t care”.  
  
Wrinkling up his nose, Dean tried to hide his disgust. “You can’t blame me for that, I hate pickles!” he said starting to rant as he prepared a sandwich for his brother.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The two brother’s found themselves stood in the baby aisle of Wal-Mart. They had found bigger clothes for Sam, much to his relief.  
  
“Wow, I didn’t think that this would be so hard. Where the hell do we begin here?” the younger sibling asked as he scoured the shelves, overwhelmed at how much stuff they were going to need.  
  
Dean shrugged his shoulders. “Let’s just start at the beginning I suppose. He’s going to need formula, right?” he said taking the first container he found off the shelf and put it in their cart. “And if he’s going to be having formula, we need to prepare for when it comes out the other end….so diapers!” he said confidently choosing the brand he thought was the best and added it to their purchases.  
  
Sam laughed at his brother’s logic. His attention was drawn to the selection of strollers, and cribs and nursery furniture.   
  
The older brother could sense his brother’s apprehension. “Don’t worry about those things, yet. We’re doing little things first, okay? Do you trust me?” he asked, trying to refrain from giving too much away on his face.  
  
Looking into his brother’s eyes, the pregnant hunter instantly felt reassured. “Okay, little things” he said as he turned his attention to the romper suits and onesies, more specifically in blue. His eyes were drawn to a gorgeous fleecy pale blue all-in-one. He picked it up and turned over the price tag before frowning and putting it straight back on the hanger. Sighing, he picked up the one next to it and after quickly checking the price, he added it to the pile. “This one will do….”.  
  
Dean shook his head and picked the outfit up out of the shopping cart and replaced it on the hanger. “No Sam, we’re not just going to ‘make do’ here. I told you that we’re not going to worry about money or anything like that. Our son is going to have the best of everything, okay? If you want that one, then we’re getting it” he said sternly and picked up the more expensive outfit.  
  
At that precise moment, if Sam had any worries in the world, they had all just disappeared. Knowing that his brother was with him in this, nothing else in the world mattered. “Thank you….” he said as he put his hand on top of his brother’s.  
  
The older hunter just winked at his brother and smiled warmly, backing up his promises and reassurances.  
  
Sam moved along the aisle and his eyes landed on a small plush teddy bear, with a blue silky bow tie. He picked it up and rubbed it on his cheek, fascinated by the feel of the material. “This is cute….”.  
  
Dean screwed his nose up. “No way. He’s going to be a man about it. How about this?” he asked as he picked up a gigantic stuffed monkey. “Way more manly!”.  
  
“That’s going to take up all the room in his crib, plus he’s going to be so tiny it’s going to scare the crap outta him” Sam argued as he clutched the teddy bear in his arms.  
  
On seeing his brother’s pout and puppy dog eyes, Dean was completely won over. There was no way he could say no to that. “Fine. Teddy it is. But we’re going to give him a butch name!”.  
  
Sam’s smile was back as he carefully put the teddy bear in the cart.  
  
The older brother’s eyes suddenly lit up as he spotted a tiny leather jacket. “Oh, we absolutely have to get this!” he said as he held it up to him. “This rocks!”.  
  
Sam laughed at how adorable and excited his brother was right now. How could he have ever thought that his brother wouldn’t be interested in all of this. He cursed himself for bringing that all back up again. They had agreed to keep all of that in the past. “I’m not going to win on this one, am I? I’ll have to reside myself to the fact that instead of singing lullaby’s to him, you’re going to be introducing him to classic rock from day one. God the way he was kicking me in the car earlier when you had your Zeppelin tape on, I‘d say he‘s already hooked”.  
  
Dean chuckled to himself amusedly. “What can I say, Zeppelin rules!” he said, as he added the jacket to their pile of purchases.  
  
The pregnant hunter put a hand on his stomach thoughtfully. “If that’ the only thing that’s going to get him to sleep in the night’s then that’s going to be your job”.  
  
“Do you know what? I couldn’t think of anything better” Dean said as he thought about comforting their son.  
  
Sam nodded his head. “You’re going to be a great dad you know”.  
  
“Correction Sammy- I’m going to be an awesome dad. As are you….I mean, you already are…” Dean said as he wrapped an arm around his brother.  
  
Sam nodded his head and felt a tear start to breach the corner of his eye. He opened his mouth to reply, but thought that he’d break down in tears if he tried to.  
  
Dean kissed his brother’s head and gave him a gentle squeeze. “Come on sasquatch, I think we’ve had enough excitement for one day, let’s get you home. We’ve made a start, we’ve got plenty of time left” he said as he led his brother and the cart to the nearest check-out to pay for their shopping.   
  
The older hunter flashed with pride as he held out his credit to the cashier. She just looked at him curiously. Usually people weren’t so happy about parting with their own money. As she swiped the card through the cash register, she watched the men inquisitively. The looks and fleeting glances that they gave each other. There was not a doubt about it. They were in love.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dean had ordered Sam to the couch as soon as they had got back to house. For once, the pregnant hunter didn’t protest. The seemingly simple, short shopping trip had taken it out of him well and truly.  
  
Not sure where he was going to put their purchases, the older brother ventured up the stairs with the brimming bags.  
  
He could hear some commotion coming from one of the rooms. “Bobby?”.  
  
“In here…” the gruff voice replied.  
  
Dean could see Bobby’s silhouette from the half-open door, so he pushed it open all the way with his foot. He gasped with awe as he saw what the eldest hunter was doing.  
  
He hadn’t been in this room before in all the times that they‘d stayed here in the past. Despite this, he could see that it had had a fresh coat of paint in a warm yellow colour. There were boxes of different shapes and sizes on the floor, which Bobby was working his way through, tearing the cardboard off and retrieving the instruction manuals.  
  
“Is this? Are these……” Dean tried to say, the excitement almost too much for him to bear.  
  
Bobby nodded his head. “This is going to be his nursery, yeah. I painted it yellow a while back, not long after I found out Sam was pregnant and way before I knew that he was going to be a boy. Figured yellow is still okay, right?”.  
  
“It’s perfect. Wow, this makes it all so much more real now!” the older hunter marvelled. “And all the furniture has arrived too? I almost forgot that we’d ordered all of this” he said as opened up one of the boxes and settled down on the floor as he pulled out some of the components. “Sam’s been stressing about this all day and I’ve been trying to put him off….”.  
  
“It arrived not long after you and Sam left to go shopping. What are the chances of that, right?” the older hunter said with a knowing glint in his eye.  
  
Dean’s excitement stepped up another notch when he looked at the picture on the front of the box, showing what the finished product would look like. “Sam is going to be so psyched about this…..”.  
  
“Uh….I thought we were going to surprise him with it when it’s finished” Bobby said.  
  
Dean nodded his head happily. “We are. Relax, he’s downstairs sleeping. He’s going to be out for the count for a while. Which gives us some time to put all of this stuff together!”.  
  
“Do you know what you’re doing here? You may be a genius when it comes to cars…..but putting up flat-pack furniture is a little different, you’re actually going to need to read through the instructions before you make a start!” Bobby told the other hunter as he tried to assemble two pieces together.  
  
“The instructions are for amateurs. Besides where’s the fun in that? This is going to be a chest of drawers, simple. Now where’s the screwdriver” Dean asked as he scoured the room.  
  
Bobby sighed, but amused at the older sibling’s sense of logic. He handed over the reigns to a screw driver anyhow and then turned his attention back to assembling the crib.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A few hours later, the sun was starting to set in the sky and the eldest hunters were putting the finishing touches to the furniture they’d assembled, which consisted of a crib, chest of drawers, rocking chair, changing table and small wardrobe.  
  
“I think we’ve done a pretty awesome job, even if I do say so myself!” Dean said happily, as he revelled in their hard graft and what they had accomplished in such a short space of time.  
  
Bobby nodded in agreement as he put the last of the bits of packaging and cardboard in a trash bag. “How about we let Sam put things away in the drawer and arrange them how he wants. Get him involved in the finishing touches”.  
  
“Yeah, that’s an awesome idea. He’s going to be so happy with this. Do you think he’s awake now?” Dean asked, trying to refrain from jumping up and down with glee.  
  
The older man smiled at the goofy grin on the older brother’s face. “I don’t know, why don’t you go down and see? Just give me a few minutes to tidy away all of the tools so he doesn’t go tripping up over them”.  
  
Dean didn’t need asking twice as he ran down the stairs, almost two at a time, nearly fumbling on the last step. “Sam?” he asked, running into the lounge to found the couch empty. “Sam?” he shouted, running from room to room until he was stood outside the closed door of the downstairs bathroom. “Sam? Are you in there?”.  
  
“Yeah. It’s okay, you can come in…” Sam said from inside as he frantically tried to dry his eyes before his brother saw him.  
  
Pushing the door open, Dean entered the bathroom and saw his brother sitting on the closed lid of the toilet seat, dabbing at his eyes and tear stained face. He rushed over and bent down putting his hands on his brother’s legs, rubbing them comfortingly. “Oh my God Sam. Are you okay? Is it the baby, is he okay?”.  
  
Sam nodded his head feebly. “Yeah, he’s fine. I’m just being really, really silly. Just an emotional mess right now. Stupid….crying over nothing…” he sniffed.  
  
Dean stood up and sat down on the corner of the bath and pulled his upset brother into his arms and ran his fingers through his hair which was damp from crying. “Nothing is stupid, if it’s making you sad, then it’s not nothing. Now tell me what’s got you so worked up baby?” he soothed.  
  
Blowing out a long, slow breath Sam sat upright and wiped his eyes again. “Just something on TV. This man….he leaves for work early in the morning…..and dies in a car crash….his wife was pregnant….and she never got a chance to say goodbye to him….she’s got to raise their baby….all a….alone”.  
  
“Oh Sam, I’m not going to leave you. Not ever, I promise you. Why were you even watching something like that if you knew that it was going to upset you like that? It’s okay…sssshhh” Dean hushed, trying to console his sobbing brother. When his sobs tapered off, he just held him, silently until he felt him pull away.  
  
“Thank you” the pregnant hunter said as he regained control of his hormones. “Stupid baby hormones”.  
  
“That’s what I’m here for. To look after you. I know something that might cheer you up. I’ve got a surprise for you. Well, me and Bobby actually. It’s upstairs though. If you don’t think you can handle it this evening, then that’s fine, it’ll still be there for you to see tomorrow” Dean said thoughtfully.  
  
The pregnant hunter’s eyes lit up with joy as he stared into his brother’s eyes. “No, I want to see it tonight. Got to climb the stairs at some point, I think I’m ready” he said as he slid off the toilet seat and got to his feet.  
  
Dean went ahead of his brother. “Let me go first, okay” he said taking his brother’s hands into his own. “There’s no hurry, okay, so just take your time”.  
  
Sam smiled in appreciation of his brother’s affection and consideration of his needs. One hand went onto the banister of the stairs and the other clutched onto his brother’s waiting hand as he slowly, but surely climbed up the stairs, getting his confidence up each step he climbed until he finally reached the top. He breathed in and out slowly to get his breath back. “I’m okay Dean” he announced before his brother started to worry.  
  
“Okay, just stay here for a second, okay?” Dean asked as he stepped backwards into the nursery to see if Bobby was ready. On seeing his mentor give the thumbs up, he reappeared to his brother, going up behind him and putting his hands over his eyes.  
  
“What are you doing, I can’t see!” Sam protested as he put his hands over his brother’s. He felt his brother up behind him, guiding him forwards into the nursery.  
  
Dean laughed. “That’s the whole point Einstein, it’s a surprise so you’re not meant to be able to see. Not quite yet anyway…”.  
  
Sam lowered his hands down and held onto his brother’s wrist. He could smell the scent of his aftershave on him. Smelt like the Dean he had always known and loved- the scent that always brought familiarity and reassurance to him.  
  
“Just a second. We just want to say that if you don’t like anything, it can be easily changed, and you can add your own little bits to it….it’s not quite finished anyhow….” Dean said rambling on nervously.  
  
“Dean….” Sam said, his voice muffled by his brother’s hands still snugly over his eyes. “I’m sure I’m going to love it…now let me see, please?”.  
  
The older brother sighed heavily and removed his hands.  
  
It took the pregnant hunter’s eyes a few minutes to adjust to the light again after being shielded for a minute or two. When he’d taken in the surroundings, the corner’s of his mouth started to twitch up and form into a smile. He walked around the room, running his hand over the walls and the furniture before coming to a halt to gaze into the crib. The crib was just an empty shell at the moment, save for the teddy bear that they had bought earlier on today sitting in the middle, which his brother had placed there. He picked it up and pulled it tight into his chest.  
  
“We thought you’d like to choose his bedding and blankets and choose things to go in the drawers. Put your own stamp on it. Bobby painted the walls….” Dean explained.  
  
Bobby interrupted. “But if you want to change anything Sam, it’s okay. I painted it months ago, just after I made a promise to you that I’d look after you here. I left the walls fairly plain because I didn‘t know what theme you‘d want to go for…it needs a border….cars, trains, I dunno, whatever you want and we‘ll put it up for you”.  
  
Sam shook his head in disbelief. “It‘s amazing. I like the yellow, I mean I love the colour. And the furniture, it all matches…..he’s going to love it…” he said as he paced around the room again until he reached the rocking chair, which he sat down on.  
  
Dean smiled at Bobby with relief before turning his attention back to his brother.  
  
“And your brother actually managed to put the drawers together. It’s standing up on it’s own and all!” Bobby said jokingly.  
  
The older hunter laughed as he nodded his head agreement.  
  
“Thank you, both of you. Didn’t realise how much stuff a baby is going to need. I just feel bad that we’re taking over your house Bobby” the pregnant hunter said solemnly.  
  
“Nonsense, Sam. You’re not taking over my house, you’re filling it up with a family. It’s a family home and you’re just fulfilling it’s purpose” the trusted mentor said as he yawned. “This is your home now, no arguments. Anyway, I’m going to bed, not as young as I used to be”.  
  
“Night Bobby” Dean said as he bid the older man farewell. He knew that their mentor wanted to give them some time alone and had invented a reason to leave them to it. He was grateful either way.  
  
Sam smiled his thanks again as he watched his mentor leave. He sighed contently. “This is it Dean…we’re having a baby. Few more months and the crib will be occupied”.  
  
Dean’s eyes lit up at the thought. Biting down on his bottom lip he twirled the hem of his brother’s shirt around in his fingers. “I never thought that I’d have the chance to become a father. And now it’s happening and with the man that I love”.  
  
The pregnant hunter leant forward and kissed his brother on the cheek. Trying to stifle a yawn, he put a hand over his mouth and then wrapped them his arms loosely around his brother’s neck and sighed contently as he closed his eyes. “Mmmm…..this is nice….”.  
  
“Nuh uh, you’re not going to sleep here, time for bed” the older hunter said assertively as he took hold of his brother’s hands and got to his feet, gently encouraging his younger brother to follow.  
  
“Bed?” Sam enquired sleepily, his mind hazy.  
  
“Yeah….you’re coming to bed….with me” Dean said, clarifying things. “Makes sense since you’re upstairs already”.  
  
Sam suddenly felt like a giddy school child, as his felt butterflies in his stomach, that wasn’t from the baby. “Our first night sharing a bed, together, properly” he said trying to fathom his reply as the thought struck him. Before he knew it, his brother had led them into the back bedroom- the one that had been set up for their use which was right opposite the nursery. He flopped down on the bed, pressing his hands down to feel the mattress. It was perfectly sprung and would work wonders to support his aching back. His body took the sudden contact with the bed to mean sleep, and he laid back on the pillows feeling his eyes trying to close again. He was slowly losing the battle.  
  
Dean stroked his brother’s cheek carefully. “No, no….don’t go to sleep just yet Sammy. We need to get you undressed” he said as he started to unbutton the shirt.  
  
Although half asleep, the pregnant hunter complied and assisted his brother, lifting up his floppy arms and pulling them from the sleeves. He felt a t-shirt being pulled on over his head so he wriggled around to assist.  
  
“Pants…” the older hunter said as his hands tried to battle with the zipper on his brother’s jeans. He managed to tug them underneath Sam’s hips and get them off, discarding them with the rest of the dirty laundry.  
  
Sam managed to regain some control and opened his eyes when his brother pulled some flannel pants on over his hips, as he tried his best to buck them up to make it easier for his sibling. His brother was hovering over the top of him, inches away from his mouth, their eyes locking onto each others. He elicited a soft hum of approval as his eyes got heavier and closed again.  
  
Dean quickly shed his own clothes, ditching his pyjama pants in favour of his boxers. He slid in between the sheets next to his brother and shuffled as close as he could.   
  
The pregnant hunter turned onto his side away from his brother, the side that was the most comfortable for his aching body. He reached out behind him and found his brother’s arms and brought them around his stomach and rested his own hands on top of them.  
  
“Good night Sam….” Dean whispered as he stole his hand away for a second just to turn the lamp off on the nightstand. His arm went back to where his brother had put it. He smiled into the darkness and allowed himself to succumb to his own exhaustion.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam sighed as he lowered himself down into the passenger seat of the Impala. “I don’t see what was wrong with the last one, Dean. He was fine!”.  
  
Dean scoffed loudly, showing his displeasure. “He was a friggin’ jerk! I mean who the hell has a moustache comb? Never trust a guy with a moustache like that! There’s no way that he’s going to be delivering our baby. We can do so much better than that. I told you, we’re having the best. Even if it means paying out a few more dollars”.  
  
“Okay, fine. We’ve got one more appointment lined up for today. This is probably the last obstetrician around in about a 60 mile radius. I don’t see what was wrong with the first one? So what he’d only been qualified a couple of years!“ he protested.  
  
“A couple? Seriously? He nearly crapped his pants and I only asked to see his medical license and certification, but who could blame me he only looked like he graduated yesterday!!” the older hunter said.  
  
Sam put his hand over his stomach to try and calm the fierce movements of his son. “Well if we leave it too much longer, then the baby will be deciding who delivers him”.  
  
Dean paused just as he was about to turn the key in the ignition. “I promise you that we’re going to find someone. And…..I promise that I won’t ask anymore inappropriate questions, okay? I’ll try and go easy on the next one” he said moving in towards his brother, puckering up ready for a kiss.  
  
Giving in to his brother’s adorable little face, the pregnant hunter pressed his lips against his brother’s and relaxed his shoulders down into a comfortable pose. “Okay. I don’t want you scaring off this one. I think she’s going to be a winner from what I’ve read up on her”.  
  
“Let’s hear all about her then” Dean said as he regained his focus and started up the Impala, smiling when he heard his baby roar.  
  
Sam shuffled through the pile of notes in his hand. “Well, she’s been qualified a lot longer than any of the others. She’s got 12 years experience specialising in male pregnancies alone. Plus she’s a highly skilled neonatal surgeon too. Ticks all the boxes in my book. And she also has kids of her own so she knows first hand about babies and parenthood”.  
  
“Well, she sounds great on paper….we’ll just have to see what she’s like in the flesh!” the older hunter said.  
  
“Dean…” Sam warned, giving his brother a fleeting glance.  
  
Dean smiled and laughed it off. “It’s okay. I’ll be nice. Or try at least!”.  
  
Sam smacked his brother playfully on the thigh then took hold of his hand and rested it down in between them. “Shut up and drive” he said, trying to keep his face serious as his smile kept trying to take over.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Hi, please come in and take a seat. I’m Dr. Marie Lane” the welcoming physician said as she greeted her prospective patients.  
  
Dean warmed to her the second he laid eyes on her. There was something about her mannerism and kindly face that reassured him. It was looking good so far.  
  
Sam figured that it was safe to shake her outstretched hand, as his brother hadn’t yet scowled at the physician or made some sort of derogatory comment. “Sam…..and this is…my….my partner” he said looking to his brother who smiled in return. He sat down in one of the chairs when prompted by the doctor.  
  
The physician sat down on the other side of the desk and took the notes from the younger hunter and flicked through the pages, scanning the main body of the information. “Okay Sam. Your prenatal care seems more than satisfactory. And the pregnancy has been straightforward so far?”.  
  
The pregnant hunter rubbed his stomach and looked down at himself. “Yes, nearly 29 weeks and counting”.  
  
Dr lane flipped over to the next page and frowned briefly but was un-phased. “I see that you had major heart surgery over a month ago. But you’ve since been given the all clear. Any side-effects from that?”.  
  
None of the other physicians that they had seen that day had picked up on the cardiovascular side of things. Sam ran his hand over the fading scar on his chest. “Just a bit breathless and tired if I over-exert myself….nothing I can’t handle, but that could be from being pregnant I guess!” he said diplomatically.  
  
“Yes, that could definitely account for your symptoms. But nonetheless, I would recommend a consultation with a cardiologist, maybe give you an echo to check things out. We need to make sure that everything’s working okay for childbirth”.  
  
Dean’s throat suddenly went dry. “You think that his heart might not be strong enough?”.  
  
“Mr Winchester” the doctor said calmly as she looked toward the older hunter.  
  
“Dean…” he corrected.  
  
“Dean” she continued. “The heart will inevitably be slightly weaker, but on the last follow-up a month ago, the cardiologists were satisfied that the heart had been successfully repaired. Plus there’s a couple more months before the due date, which will give Sam more time to recover. I’m merely suggesting a follow-up for your piece of mind and for mine, given that you’re a new patient and just moved to the area. Does that sound okay?” she asked as her gaze lingered back to the pregnant hunter.  
  
Sam held tight onto his brother’s hand. “That sounds really good, thank you very much” he said sincerely. Any doubts that he’d had in the last few seconds had dissipated completely.  
  
Dr Lane closed the file of notes and leant back in her chair. She lowered her reading glasses and smiled tenderly at her prospective patients. “Have you got any questions that you’d like to ask me?”.  
  
The pregnant hunter looked at his brother, who smiled eagerly back at him, and gave one, single nod. He turned his attention back to the physician. “Yeah….will you be my ObGyn?”.  
  
“With the greatest of pleasure. It would be my honour. I’ll go right ahead and get you booked in to see the cardiologist as soon as possible, hopefully by the end of the week and get them to mail me their findings and then I’ll see you again and check up on your little one. I’d just like to get the ball rolling and do a blood and urine analysis on you” the physician said as she got to her feet. “I’m going to take good care of you both. Better be over-cautious than not, right Mr Winchester?” she asked Dean giving him a sly wink.  
  
Dean’s goofy grin was back. “Absolutely!” he said aloud. When the doctors back was turned he whispered to his brother. “I love this woman already”.  
  
“She’s giving you a run for your money here- she’s being even more of mother hen than you are!” Sam groaned.  
  
“Not possible” the older hunter smirked back as he prompted his brother to take off his coat so the doctor could take some blood from his arm.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Just over a week later they had been given the all clear from the cardiologist; the pregnant hunter’s heart showed no serious after effects of the shooting and all the blood vessels were working as they should, no holes, or defects and nothing that would cause them any concerns about his heart holding during the inevitable birth of their son.  
  
The elated couple had just returned from seeing their obstetrician who had nothing but good news for them as well. Sam’s bloods had come back normal and their baby boy was still thriving and was on target for growth and starting to put himself in the right position ready to be born.  
  
Dean ordered his brother to sit down on the couch the second they came back into the house.  
  
“Dean…I’ve been sitting down in the car for the past half hour. I’m fine. Dr Lane said I need to do gentle exercise anyway. So I’m going to make some food, myself, and then I wanna go for a walk, okay?” the pregnant hunter said rather harshly, his pent up hormones making him snap suddenly.  
  
The older hunter stood on the spot, mouth agape. Unsure how to react to his brother’s outburst he remained silent.  
  
Sam started to walk away. Just before he disappeared out the room he turned back around to face his brother. “And before you ask where I’m going, I’m going to the bathroom. It’s the only place where I can have some time by myself and piece and quiet” he muttered as he vanished from the doorway.  
  
Dean scoffed. “Jeez…..what the hell?” he said in confusion. He had read about mood swings in pregnancy but it still came out of the blue. Deciding to make himself look busy by the time his brother came back, he set about storing the obstetrician’s into his cell phone and putting it on speed dial on the house phone, just in case. He had opened up the fridge and started to pull stuff out ready to make them lunch when the younger hunter came skulking back into the kitchen.  
  
Knowing that he had behaved badly towards his brother, Sam approached Dean carefully, sheepishly. He tugged the hem of his older brother’s shirt playfully.  
  
“Don’t worry, I’m making myself a sandwich. You can do your own, I don’t want to interfere” Dean said as he started to butter a slice of bread thickly.  
  
“I’m sorry I was grumpy. Can I blame the baby hormones?” Sam said apologetically as he tried his best to make his pout as full on as possible. He twirled the material on his brother’s khaki green shirt around in his fingers, trying to gently persuade his brother to come round. When the other hunter didn’t respond, he sighed heavily and reached over to grab a piece of sliced cheese from the chopping board and took a bite.  
  
Dean couldn’t stay mad for long and relaxed into a smile as he bit into the other end of the cheese that was hanging from his brother’s mouth. Laughing to himself, he brought his lips up against Sam’s again and moulded them together into a tender kiss.  
  
Sam put his arms around his brother’s neck casually, and moaned softly as he made a contribution to their kiss. “You’re so easy to win round, you know?” he said when they pulled apart to take a breath.  
  
“Yeah. Maybe I won’t be so forgiving next time though!” Dean warned light-heartedly. He knew that that was a lie. Nothing that his brother could do would make him mad-not for long anyway. They’d come through so much together to throw things away over a petty argument.  
  
“I’m carrying your baby, so I think that you kinda have to” the pregnant hunter said, smiling with a grin that matched his brother’s to show his happiness and elation. “We both got the all clear today. I’m not even anaemic! That could be the addiction that I now have to red meat. Told you, this baby’s definitely yours” he said pressing himself in against his brother. “You can’t deny your paternity”.  
  
Dean could feel their baby moving around between them, vying for their attention too. He laughed and lowered one of his hands to feel the source of the movement. “There’s no way I’d want to deny it. He’s got us well and truly wrapped around his finger already. Kudos to the kid, he really does know how to play us”.  
  
Sam giggled as he looked down at his stomach almost as if he could see his son moving around and looking up at them. His interest then turned back to his brother, suddenly aware of how amazing he looked. The plumped out just-been-kissed lips were still moist with his saliva, and his eyes were glistening, looking fiercely green against his khaki shirt. He could do nothing to silence the moan that came unbidden from his own lips. His hands gripped onto his brother’s arms, tensing up as he felt the rigidity of the ripped muscles. At that moment he had never felt safer, knowing that his brother would do anything for him like he’d proven time and time before now.  
  
“What?” the fair-haired hunter asked suspiciously as he studied his brother’s face, trying to read the expression. He narrowed his eyes. “I know that look Sammy. I’ve watched and studied every little part of you for years, every facial expression, every sound you make” he said as he tucked a bang behind his brother’s ear affectionately, blowing gently in his ear as he did so.  
  
Slightly embarrassed that his brother knew him too well and what he was thinking he gave up on trying to be discreet and shuddered every so slightly at the soft warm breath on his ear. “You heard what the doctor said Dean. My heart is fine, our baby is fine. I’m pretty much fully recovered”.  
  
Dean ran his hand tenderly over where his son grew. The look of apprehension on his face said it all. “I just don’t want to hurt you…either of you”.  
  
Sam shook his head insistently. “You’re not going to hurt us, I promise. And I trust you Dean, like I’ve trusted you with my life, time and time again. I want this, I need this. Need to feel that connection and being that close to you again. Our baby was made out of love, despite the circumstances that prevailed. I just want to reinforce that”. His hand cupped his brother’s groin through the harshness of the denim.  
  
Closing his eyes, the older hunter’s attempts at resistance was futile as his excitement grew at the delicacy of his brother’s touch. “Bobby……..”.  
  
“Is out for the rest of the day….” Sam breathed back as he pressed his forehead into Deans, forcing any space between them to close up. “This feels so right, it’s got to be now, please….” he said as he withdrew his hand from his brother’s crotch.  
  
Dean let out a strangled cry at the sudden lack of contact. “Okay, come on then” he said as he led his brother up the stairs slowly, whilst planting careful kisses on his face, his cheeks, his lips.  
  
As soon as they barged through the their bedroom door, wandering hands were everywhere, eager to shed their clothing. Sam laid down on the bed carefully and allowed his brother to take off his sweatpants. His breath hitched up a notch as his panting brother hovered over the top of him, clad in only his boxers, which were riding low on his hips, threatening to reveal all very shortly. “I still can’t believe that you’re all mine…..” Sam whispered into the intimate silence as he ran his hand across his lover’s naked chest quickly pulling him down on top of him.  
  
“We’re taking this slow Sammy….kay? Just tell me if I’m hurting you. I want to remember every single second of this” Dean said as fought for breath as Sam nuzzled up the length of his neck with wet, sloppy kisses.  
  
Sam’s hand wasted no time in releasing his brother’s cock from the confines of his boxers. It didn’t need any encouragement in getting the ball rolling. It was already fully erect and his eyes lit up, shining brown, green and blue all the same time, full eyelashes fluttering pleadingly up at his brother and lover. “I’m ready….” he said as he lowered his hands and braced them down onto the bed.  
  
Dean efficiently and expertly prepped his brother and slowly, controlled and gentle thrust into him testingly. “Is this okay?” he asked considerately as he helped Sam tilt his pelvis up to gain better access.  
  
“Oh God….yes” Sam moaned as he felt the full thickness of his brother enter him. It was better than he remembered. He had waited so long for this to happen again- and now that it finally was, he felt giddy like he had during their first time. Despite the haziness of the alcohol he had remembered the most important details of that night. “You can go deeper Dean, need you to”.  
  
The older brother complied with the request and he felt his spine tingle with pleasure as he felt the tightness surrounding him and the increased sounds of pleasure from his brother indicating that it was satisfying rather than causing him any discomfort. Already, he felt his orgasm gather speed. All the lust that had built up over the past few months finally being released. He didn’t want it to all be over yet, he wanted to try and prolong it for as long as possible.  
  
“It’s okay….don’t hold back….I can’t, not going to” Sam said as he relaxed and gave into his own climax. “Waited too long”.  
  
Dean made sure that his brother had been satisfied before he tended to his own needs. When he was done, he collapsed down in a sweaty, exhausted heap next to his brother. Smiling, he blew gently to move some stray strands from Sam’s sweaty forehead, to show off his beautiful post-coital glow. “You’re so beautiful…” he said as he rolled up on one side to stare at his semi-naked brother.  
  
Sam scrutinized his brother’s face, mentally tracing his finger around his strong angled jaw line and trying to count the freckles that were prominent on his face. “You too, freckles”.  
  
The older hunter looked away bashfully for a second. His hand ghosted over his brother’s, little soft touches, despite the calloused roughness from his own hands. “Do you still want that sandwich?”.  
  
Sighing blissfully, the next primal need surfaced in the younger hunter as his stomach rumbled. “Yes please”.  
  
Dean jumped up from the bed and got to his feet, adjusting the position of his boxers. “Okay, I’ll bring it up to you”.  
  
“Okay” Sam said, completely blissed out and sated from making love. He brought his hand up to his face, smelling a hint of his brother’s aftershave on it. The aroma that he had memorised long ago. Just as he started to close his eyes, his brother did a running jump onto the bed, throwing his full weight down onto it, causing the springs to recoil. “Jesus Dean!”.  
  
“I forgot something….” the older hunter said mischievously, with a glint in his eye.  
  
“What’s that? Breaking the bed?” the pregnant hunter asked.  
  
“Nope….this….” Dean said as he lowered his head and kissed his brother squarely on the lips, book-marking the end of this chapter.  
  
When Dean pulled away, Sam opened his eyes and ran his finger over his wet lips. “Oh. That you can do”.  
  
Dean leapt off the bed again and disappeared out of the door just as quick as he had reappeared.  
  
Sam turned onto his side as much as he could and hugged a pillow around him, smiling like a loon.


	27. Chapter 27

Later that night, the three hunters were sat down at the kitchen table, about to tuck into a meat feast, courtesy of Bobby.  
  
Sam and Dean kept glancing at each other, giving each other secret knowing looks, and playful smiles, now that they had finally consummated their relationship.  Every now and again they would brush their feet or hands together under the table as they ate.  
  
“Am I missing something here?” the oldest unsuspecting hunter asked naively as he toyed around with the food on his plate.  
  
Dean nearly choked on a mouthful of steak whilst Sam hid behind his glass of orange juice.  
  
Bobby looked between the brothers and slowly, he came to the conclusion. “Oh…okay, I get it now. I’m sorry that I asked.  Guess that it was inevitable….”.  
  
“I’m sorry, if you’re uncomfortable with it, we can, you know, take that somewhere else if you’d rather” the older hunter asked once he’d managed to swallow down his mouthful of food.  
  
“No!” Bobby said quickly. “That’s not what I’m implying.  This is your home too I thought I’d made that very clear here”.  
  
Sam put down his glass and retrieved his hand back from his brother’s grasp. “We know.  You have no idea how grateful we are and how much we appreciate it.  We’ll try and be a little bit more inconspicuous about things like that in future.  Won’t we Dean?” he asked as he felt his brother’s hand brush up and down his thigh.  
  
Dean cleared his throat and put his hand up on the table. “Yeah, sure”.  
  
Bobby loosened-up and leant back in his chair in relief. “There’s no need, but thank you anyway”.  
  
The pregnant hunter pushed his empty plate away from him and got to his feet. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes” he announced as he walked out of the room, hand braced on his aching back.  
  
“Okay” Dean said.  When he was sure his brother was out of ear-shot, signalled by the sound of the door closing to the bathroom, he looked to his mentor, taking advantage of the opportunity, “I need to talk to you about something Bobby” he said quickly.  
  
Bobby paused just as he was about to put a fork full of food into his mouth. “Uh…depends what it’s about.  I might not be the right person to speak to about certain things….”.  
  
Dean should his head insistently. “No Bobby, nothing like that.  It is about Sam though.  The past few nights we’ve been in bed together, he’s had a few nightmares.  The thing is, I don’t even think that he’s aware he’s having them, because he never seems to wake up.  He’s never mentioned anything to me about it, but I’m worried”.  
  
“Do you happen to know what they’re about?” the elder man asked.  
  
“Yeah” the older hunter admitted.  He felt his skin start to prickle with fear at the mere thought of it. “About the demon who shot him I think.  He shouts out ‘don’t shoot me’ or ‘please save the baby’.  Do you think that the demon is done with us, or will he come back when he finds out he hasn’t finished his job properly? Sam made me promise to not go looking for him.  I’m not going to though” he added quickly when his mentor looked worriedly at him. “But I can’t help thinking about it when I know that it’s in Sam’s sub-conscious, haunting his dreams. I keep reassuring him that I’m going to look after him and not let anything happen to him or the baby, but how realistic is that going to be if the demon decides makes an appearance again”.  
  
A light bulb went off in the older man’s head. “He’s going to have to get past me first, okay? This house is booby trapped with an assortment of devil’s traps at every possible entrance.  Just look after Sam and get him through the rest of this pregnancy and let me worry about everything else”.  
  
Dean clapped his mentor on his back and smiled. “Thanks Bobby.  You’re one in a million”.  
  
As Sam walked back into the room, Bobby quickly changed the topic of conversation. “So you two haven’t told me how it went at the doctor’s appointment today.  I take it that it’s all good, given your, uh, celebration”.  
  
Sam rubbed the top of his stomach as he wandered over to the sink to fill a fresh glass with water. “Been given the all clear by the cardiologist and obstetrician”.  
  
Bobby clapped his hands together. “Awesome.  So happy, that must be a relief having that off your minds”.  
  
“Yeah….” Dean agreed, but his attention was diverted to his brother who was popping some tablets into his mouth. “You feeling okay Sam?” he asked, unable to stop his constant worrying.  
  
After swallowing down the tablets effortlessly, the pregnant hunter nodded his head and resumed his position at the kitchen table. “Indigestion from the ranch dressing.  That’s the downside of it, but the baby really needed ranch dressing with the steak.  Wouldn’t taste the same without it though”.  
  
Dean wiped his mouth with his napkin and smiled amusedly at the jar of half-empty pickles next to his brother. “I don’t think it was necessarily the ranch dressing.  Perhaps the double helping of pickles did it? And you can’t blame me for that because I hate those things!”.  
  
Bobby scraped his plate clean and got to his feet the second his last mouthful of food had been swallowed. “Right boys, I’m heading out.  There’s pudding in the freezer if you want some.  I won’t be long”.  
  
Sam furrowed his brow. “Where are you going at this time of the evening?”.  
  
Adjusting his baseball cap on his head the older of the trio grabbed the keys to one of the old pick up trucks out in the yard. “Uh….hardware store” he said as he dashed out the room, leaving the brother’s in bewilderment.  
  
Sam looked perplexed at his brother, who just shrugged his shoulders in return.   
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam woke up with the baby kicking him hard.  He was aware that it was morning because of the sun streaming in through the window.  Even though his eyes were closed he was also aware that someone was watching him. Turning over onto his back, he opened his eyes to find his brother propped up on his elbows, watching over him.  
  
Dean smiled when he saw the hazel eyes, which looked more green than brown in the morning sunlight. “Hey” he said casually.  
  
“Right back atcha” Sam drawled back.  His voice was still heavy with sleep as he hadn’t fully woken up yet. “Were you watching me sleep?” he asked.  
  
“Maybe….” the older hunter replied, with a hint of mischief in his voice.  
  
Sam grimaced. “Really? That couldn’t have been very attractive, what with me rolling around like a beached whale.  I hope I didn’t keep you up all night with my fidgeting.  It’s really hard to get comfortable right now” he explained.  
  
“Still gorgeous” Dean added as he started to smooth his brother’s hair down with his hand. “And you were making some serious happy noises in your sleep.  Were you dreaming about me by any chance?”  
  
“No….this guy was much better looking” the pregnant hunter said jokingly. “…….and he brought me breakfast in bed…..”.  
  
Dean sat up indignantly. “Hey, you said that you didn’t like having breakfast in bed because of all the crumbs”.  
  
Sam laughed and gently rubbed his hand over his brother’s face tenderly. “I’m only joking, you know that.  Of course I was dreaming about you.  There’s no-one else I’d want to dream about…it’s always been you.  Except I didn‘t really sleep that well, not with this one playing soccer all night”.  
  
“Soccer, really? Nuh, think he’s definitely going to be more a football player.  Way cooler and more masculine!” the older brother said as he put his hand on Sam’s stomach to feel the movements.  He laughed when he was rewarded with a few thumps against his palm.  
  
Sam was distracted by something. “I think Bobby was up all night doing something.  He wasn’t making much noise, but I was awake anyway so I heard it.  The light in the nursery was on.  I thought everything was finished in there?”  
  
Dean shuffled to the edge of the bed. “Yeah, it is” he said with confusion as he ran his hand over the day old stubble on his face. “Is he still in there?” he asked.  
  
“No..” Sam said as he yawned.  “I heard him hit the hay just after 3am”.  He pushed himself up from the bed and stood up, groaning at the dull ache in his back as he did so.  
  
The older brother turned around at the sound of his brother’s discomfort. “You okay? Why don’t you stay in bed? There’s no reason to get up just yet?”.  
  
Sam rubbed his grumbling stomach. “Yeah, there is. I’m starving and since I don’t like breakfast in bed, there’s not much choice.  I’ve been wanting some of those amazing pancakes of yours since 4am”.  
  
“4am? Why didn’t you wake me? I would have gone and made them for you.  Anything you want, no matter what time of the day or night, just let me know, yeah? Even if I have to drive across town to get it for you” Dean said as he got to his feet and walked over to his sibling.  
  
“Yeah, no, that’s not going to be happening. I’ll be on the receiving end of your lack of sleep the next day.  So I’m going to keep any cravings I’ve got for more sociable hours” the pregnant hunter said.  
  
Dean scoffed in amusement. “Okay….I’m going to remind you of that in the early hours of the morning and you’re begging me for ice-cream….or….beef jerky, or something!”.  
  
Sam gagged and turned a funny colour for a few seconds at the reminder a few months ago at being stuck in the car with his brother when he was eating beef jerky- the baby didn‘t like the smell of it and made him violently sick.  He had avoided it ever since, as the mere mention of it now made his stomach roll over. “No beefy jerky…please. That made me so sick when I had morning sickness, and you ate bucket loads of it too”.  
  
“Sorry” Dean said apologetically as he put his arms around Sam. “So how about those pancakes then? Bacon and maple syrup?”.  
  
“With a side of scrambled eggs too” Sam stated.  His mouth was nearly salivating at just the thought of it as he followed his brother out the room.  
  
Dean was about to start his descent down the stairs but his curiosity got the better of him and he made a quick detour into the nursery, with his brother right behind him.  After walking around the room he shrugged his shoulders and turned to Sam. “Are you sure he was in here last night? I can’t see anything different in here”.  
  
Sam looked confused. “I’m sure I heard him in here. Unless I was actually asleep and dreaming. Man this baby is messing me up!” he joked.  
  
“Don’t worry about it Sam.  Let’s get you fed, shall we?” the older brother said as he left the nursery and resumed his descent downstairs.  
  
“That’s the most sensible thing you’ve said so far this morning” Sam pointed out as he followed two steps behind his brother.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dean’s homemade pancakes were a hit again as Sam wolfed down plateful after plateful.  The smell had enticed the oldest hunter downstairs.  
  
“Morning boys. Thought I could smell pancakes” Bobby said as he pulled his baseball cap onto his head to shield his tired eyes from the morning sunshine that was spilling through the kitchen window.  
  
“I guess I’m making another batch then” Dean said as he threw more ingredients into a bowl and started to whisk it up.  
  
Sam scraped his fork around on his empty plate, trying to get as much of the maple syrup off as he could.  He was too lazy to go and get a spoon.  He looked at up his mentor. “Hey, Bobby? Were you up last night until 3am? I thought I heard you, that’s all”.  
  
Bobby was caught by surprise.  He was so careful not to make any noise. “Did I keep you up? Because if I did, then I’m really sorry…..”.  
  
“No…..” Sam said quickly. It was not his intention to embarrass Bobby. “No you weren’t making any noise. I’ve just been awake most of the night .  The baby has taken to sleeping the opposite times to me at the moment.  I hope that’s not going to set him into that routine for when he’s born. Don’t worry about it Bobby, seriously.  I just thought you were doing something in the nursery that’s all.  But you obviously weren’t because I can’t see anything that’s different”.  
  
“Once a hunter, always a hunter” Bobby told the younger Winchester. “Nothing gets past you now does it?”.  
  
Dean turned around curiously. “So you were in the nursery last night then?”.  He wiped his hands on Bobby’s ‘Kiss the cook’ apron.  
  
Bobby laughed at the two brothers staring at him intently waiting for an answer. “I’m surprised that your curiosity hasn’t gotten the better of you two yet.  Come on ya idjits, I’ll show you” he said as he ushered them upstairs into the nursery.  
  
Sam looked at his brother for an explanation but he was none the wiser either. “What are we meant to be looking at?”.  
  
“Hang on, give me a second will ya? I’ve given the room a bit of a new paintjob.  But you need to know where to look” he said as he went over to the blinds and pulled them down, immersing them in darkness, save for the door to the hall which was letting in daylight.  He shut that too until the room was completely dark.  
  
“Well now we can’t see anything!” Dean said as he waved his hand in front of his face to see if he could see it.  Which, obviously, he couldn’t.  
  
Bobby fumbled around in the corner of the room, trying to find the correct switch.  When he did, he flicked it on and all was revealed.  The Ultra-Violet light that had just been turned on, illuminated various drawings, symbols and diagrams in a fluorescent purple light. Above the crib was a devils’s trap.  There was also one by the window and another one by the door.  The rest of the walls and ceilings were covered in various other anti-possession charms and wards to fend off most supernatural beings.  There was no way that anything was getting into this room.  It gave a whole new meaning to baby proofing. “Nothing is getting in here Sam.  The demon isn’t getting within 6 feet of you or the baby, I promise you”.  
  
Sam was overwhelmed by the gesture.  How did Bobby know that that’s what he’s afraid of. “Did you…how… I mean….thank you….” he said flopping down in the rocking chair when he felt it behind him.  
  
Bobby went over and opened the blinds up to let some sun-light back in so that they could see. “I know that you’re worried about the demon coming back.  I don’t want you to worry about it again”.  
  
Dean remembered his conversation with his mentor the other night. “Sorry Sam….I told Bobby…..”.  
  
The pregnant hunter looked confused. “But how did you know? I’m not mad….I just…I never told either of you about it. I didn’t want you worrying about me so that’s why I never told you.  Besides I just thought it was my baby hormones making me paranoid that’s all…”.  
  
The older brother went over to his sibling. “You were having nightmares about it and kept shouting things out in your sleep”.  
  
Sam’s face fell. “Oh….I didn’t realise….” he said somewhat embarrassed that he’d been making a spectacle of himself in front of his brother.  
  
Dean saw his brother’s worried face. “It’s okay Sam.  There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.  Or scared about……well not anymore because Bobby’s got this all covered. And by the way, where the hell does one find ultraviolet paint in the middle of the night?”.  
  
Bobby chuckled amusedly. “I know some people…….and it’s not that hard to come by believe it or not”.  
  
“Well I don’t care.  Thank you Bobby.  I mean, really.  Thank you” Sam said as he leant back in the rocking chair contently and laid his hands on his stomach.  He hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long while. He only intended to close his eyes for a few seconds, but once he closed them, he was unable to open them again as his exhaustion was trying to claim some sleep from him in a bid to make up for the sleepless nights.  
  
Dean could tell by the change in his brother’s breathing that he’d dropped off to sleep almost instantly.  Grabbing the blanket from the crib, he laid it over his sleeping brother and signalled to the other hunter to leave him to it. “He was awake half the night fidgeting, so let’s leave him to it….” he whispered.  
  
Bobby smiled at the pregnant hunter. “Sweet dreams Sammy…..” he said as he pulled the blind back down, shielding out the daylight once again.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Ooh!“ Sam yelped as he jumped at the sensation and as his stomach tightened suddenly.  It wasn’t painful- just a weird sensation.  
  
“Sam?” Dean asked as he quickly strode over to his brother and removed the bowl of ice-cream and spoon from his hand and guided him to the couch, encouraging him to sit down.  
  
Sam rubbed at his stomach and winced as it happened again.  
  
Dean knelt down in front of his brother and put his hands on his thighs, rubbing them gently. “What’s going on Sam? We‘re only at 31 weeks, it‘s way too early for this….”.  
  
Shaking his head, the pregnant hunter inhaled and exhaled slowly before speaking. “I’m guessing these are the Braxton hicks contractions that everybody talks about.  I’ve read about them” he said concentrating on the feeling.  
  
“What, wait.  Are you sure? Are you 100% sure?” the older hunter asked as his panic stricken face looked up at his brother.  
  
Sam nodded confidently before screwing his face up again.  
  
Dean shot up from the floor and grabbed his cell phone, quickly searching for the number that he’d stored there a couple of weeks previously.  
  
“Dean….” Sam sighed. “What are you doing? That’s not necessary, really….”.  
  
“Ringing Dr. Lane.  This is our baby Sam, and I’m not taking any chances here. “Yes, hello” he said when someone answered on the other end of the phone.  He wandered off into another room, away from the sound of his protesting brother.   
  
The spasms had stopped for now and Sam picked up his bowl of ice-cream and resumed eating.  He was on his second mouthful when his brother wandered back into the room.  
  
“Yeah I’ll hand you over to him now…” Dean said as he thrust the phone up against his brother’s ear.  
  
Sam rolled his eyes at his brother but proceeded to answer the questions he was being bombarded with from the other end of the phone.  He got up from the couch as instructed to do and walked around the room for a few moments. “Yeah, they’ve gone. I’m very sorry to have disturbed you.  Thank you very much, sorry to have bothered you” he said as he hung up the phone and laid it down on the coffee table.  
  
Dean was hovering around next to his brother. “And??” he asked impatiently.   
  
The pregnant hunter sighed and sat back down again. “Braxton hicks….like I said they were.  If they become regular or if they don’t improve when I change position then it’s the real thing.  But since it’s not and we’ve got a while to go yet, please just relax because you’re stressing me out…..and let me eat the rest of my ice-cream before it completely turns to mush. If daddy is happy then so is baby”.  
  
“Sorry” the older hunter apologised.  He sat down next to his sibling and started to rub his shoulders.  
  
Sam arched his spine backwards and moaned appreciatively. “Mmm….that you can do” he said going off into his own little dream world as he closed his eyes.  
  
Dean carried on working out the kinks in the pregnant hunter’s shoulders. “You know, we should really stop calling the baby ‘him’ and ‘he’ and start thinking of some names.  
  
Coming back down to earth, the younger brother smiled and opened his eyes. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and I’ve had a few thoughts on it.  Bobby is truly amazing.  Especially over the last few months.  And now giving us a home…..I kinda wanna thank him by naming the baby after him” he said quietly as he looked around the room to make sure that they were alone.  He looked back at his brother apprehensively, watching him mull it over.  
  
The older brother mused over the idea for a few seconds, before cracking out into a smile. “I think that it’s the least that we can do for him.  He is a hundred tons of awesome. So, Bobby, right?”.  
  
“Yeah….Bobby” Sam re-iterated.  Sighing he fiddled with a button on his shirt uncomfortably. “But then…well we can’t forget dad…we want his legacy to live on, right?”.  
  
Dean paused for a moment again. “Well, he needs a middle name too. How about Bobby John?”.  
  
Sam sighed again. “Yeah that’s cute.  But I also want him to have his own name, you know? Be his own person.  And I think Bobby-John as a middle name when we’ve got a double-barrelled surname now is a bit harsh.  Why is this so hard to do Dean?  This is serious.  He’s going to be stuck with his name for the rest of his life so it’s kind of a big deal!” he groaned as he leant his head on his brother’s shoulder.  
  
“It’s okay.  There’s still plenty of time to sort that out.  At least we’ve got a head start.  Some people don’t even know the sex of the baby until they’re born.  It will be fine, I promise you” he said reassuringly.  Out of the blue, a thought struck him and came to the forefront of his mind. “You know that Bobby’s real name is Robert, right?”.  
  
The pregnant hunter sat up alert. “Robert? Robert John Winchester-Campbell” he said aloud, with a beaming smile on his face. “You’re a genius Dean. I love it! That covers everyone we love.  Mom, dad and Bobby, plus it gives him his own name too”. He leant over and kissed his brother on the lips sloppily.  
  
After pulling away from the kiss, Dean wiped his lips from the wet kiss. “Well I have been known to have a few good ideas every now and again.  Have we really done it then? Have we named our son?”.  
  
Sam grinned back and nodded his head before turning serious. “Yeah, it’s perfect.  But do you like it though?” he asked apprehensively.  
  
Dean kissed his brother back before answering. “I love it. Our little baby Robert…..Bobby John…” he tried testingly as he laid a hand on where his child grew.  
  
At that moment, the eldest hunter wandered into the kitchen to get a re-fill on his coffee. “Hey! What‘s up?” he asked, oblivious to their euphoria at finally naming their son.  
  
Sam shook his head discreetly at his brother when Bobby’s head was turned. “Let’s keep it between us for now….I want to surprise Bobby” he whispered and mimed to his brother.  
  
Dean nodded once to show that he had heard and understood.  Getting up from the couch, he went over to his mentor who was brewing a pot of coffee. “Any going spare?” he asked as he took a mug from one of the cupboards and put it down on the counter top.  
  
Bobby chuckled as he picked up the pot and poured the steaming liquid into the older brother’s mug. “God forbid if you had to give up caffeine.  Man, that would be ugly! But you know, since your brother can’t have any, maybe you should have to go without too?”.  
  
Surprisingly Sam was the one to protest that. “No way Bobby.  Like you said that would be all kinds of ugly.  He’s grumpy enough in the mornings when he doesn’t get his coffee.  Two months of no caffeine? Jesus, I don’t even want to think about that! I’m cool with not being able to drink to coffee, I was never that keen on it in the first place. Dean is more than welcome to have my share”.  
  
Dean took a sip of his coffee and sighed. “Thanks man….appreciate that” he said raising the mug to his brother to show his gratitude.  
  
Bobby rolled his eyes. “I’ve had another delivery of scrap. I’m unloading the truck now if you wanna come and see what we’ve got”.  
  
“Yeah sure, awesome.  Are you going to be okay Sam?” Dean asked his brother as he looked over to him.  
  
Sam got to his feet slowly and took his empty bowl of ice-cream over to the sink. “Yeah sure.  I was going to go to the store anyhow.  Can I borrow the Impala?”.  
  
“What do you need from the store? I’ll go and pick it up” Dean said as he gulped down his coffee.  
  
“It’s fine.  I need something to do and I wanna go to the store. Seeing as you boys are working so hard on the cars outside and I’m unable to help you, the least I can do is drive to the store and pick a few things up.  It’s nothing too strenuous” Sam argued and made his case. “Plus, I have one hell of a craving for tacos right now!”.  
  
Dean looked uncomfortable at the thought of his brother going out shopping alone.  He was about to protest but was nudged by Bobby. “Yeah, okay.  It will do you good to go out by yourself, get some exercise”.  
  
“Okay.  I’ll see you later” Sam declared as he swiped the keys from the kitchen table and grabbed his jacket on the way out.  
  
When the youngest hunter left, Bobby patted Dean on the back. “You gotta give him some space to do his own thing Dean.  He’s a grown up”.  
  
Dean sighed heavily. “I know I’m a pain in the ass, but I can’t help but worry about him….and the baby.  I still can’t get over the fact that I nearly lost them both.  I love him”.  
  
Bobby smiled sympathetically. “I know you do.  And he knows that too.  Now quit brooding and come and gimme a hand”.  
  
“Okay….” Dean said as he re-filled his empty mug. “Bobby?” he asked before the eldest hunter walked too far away from him.  
  
“Yeah” the faithful mentor replied.  
  
Dean blushed and smiled shyly. “Me and Sam…..well we just want to…well….you’re awesome. We just wanted you to know that”.  
  
“Thank you” Bobby said simply before he made his way back outside to the yard to resume his duties, a grin spreading across his face.


	28. Chapter 28

Sam was hovering over the stove, stirring a sauce in the pan and humming happily to himself, when Dean and Bobby strolled into the kitchen after an afternoon of hard graft in the scrap yard.  
  
Dean couldn’t help himself and he dipped a finger into the pan. “Mmm…tastes yummy….”.  
  
“Hey!” Sam said as he batted his brother’s hand away. “I don’t know where your hands have been!”.  
  
“Uh, under the hood of an old Mustang?” Dean said as he gave his brother a smirk.  
  
“Exactly” the younger brother said as he flicked his brother affectionately on the arm.  
  
Bobby spotted the shopping bags on the kitchen table. “Did you have a good time shopping? Did you get anything for the baby?” he asked as he nipped any potential arguments straight in the bud and changed the subject.  
  
Sam put the lid on the saucepan to prevent anymore curious little fingers in sampling his cooking. Wiping his hands on the apron, he strode over to the table and opened up the first bag. “Yeah, I bought a few things. I put them on the credit card. I hope that’s okay?”.  
  
The older brother grabbed a cold beer from the fridge and smiled at his sibling. “I already told you Sam, we’re not going to worry about money. Our baby is going to need clothes and a whole load of other things. He’s not going to go without. Now show us what you got?”.  
  
“Okay….” the pregnant hunter said. He grinned back. “I never thought I’d see you excited over baby clothes! Anyway, I just got some more romper suits, feeding bibs, some pacifiers. And this blanket” he said as he held up a pale blue, soft fleecy blanket. “And I couldn’t resist these little shoes, how cute are these? I know he‘s not going to need them for a few months….but I had to get them…”.  
  
Dean picked them up and put a finger in each shoe and walked them across the table. “They’re so tiny…”.  
  
Sam rubbed his gurgling stomach. “His feet don’t feel that small, believe me”.  
  
Bobby smiled as he looked through the bags of purchases. He turned his attention to the pan that was simmering gently on the stove. “What are we having? It smells really good…”.  
  
“Well you guys have been doing all the cooking so far, so I thought that it’s my turn to make a contribution. It’s chicken pasta bake…I made the sauce from scratch…” Sam said absent-mindedly as he tried to fight back an unexpected wave of nausea, clamping his hand over his mouth for a few seconds.  
  
“You okay Sam?” Dean asked his brother as he noticed that he’d turned a shade of grey all of a sudden.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just those tacos repeating on me I think…..they’re just not sitting so good….” Sam started to say before he felt the wave of nausea rise up in his throat which caused his hand to clamp back over his mouth and sent him running to the bathroom as fast as he was able to.  
  
Dean slammed his bottle of beer down on the table. “I’ll go…” he offered quickly as he went in pursuit of his brother.  
  
Sam was on his knees and leaning awkwardly over the toilet, retching violently when he felt a warm hand on the back on his cold sweaty neck, rubbing reassuringly.  
  
“I’m here Sam….just relax baby….it’s okay” Dean soothed.  
  
After a few more minutes of dry heaves, and when the waves of nausea subsided, Sam leant back against the wall tiredly and moaned as he rubbed his stomach which had started to cramp up.  
  
Dean had a glass of water to hand and held it up to his brother’s lips. “Here, try some small sips of water”.  
  
Sam’s shaky hand tried to hold onto the glass as he took a couple of little sips. “Well that’s tacos off my list too” he spoke weakly as his throat was hoarse from the retching. His stomach cramped up again as another wave of nausea assaulted him which forced him to lean over the toilet again as he heaved and retched.  
  
Feeling helpless, Dean just rubbed his brother’s back until he was done. “You done for now?”.  
  
“Yeah…” Sam said, his voice even more feeble from the exhaustion of throwing up. It was like re-living his morning sickness all over again. The only saving grace was that he was not going through it alone this time.  
  
Dean got to his feet and held out a hand for his brother. “Come on, let’s get you off the cold, hard floor. That can’t be good for your back”.  
  
Sam looked worriedly at the toilet as his stomach gurgled and cramped up, threatening to regurgitate itself again.   
  
“It’s okay. Let’s get you set up upstairs in the bedroom with the en-suite and I’ll get you a bowl to keep by your side, so you don‘t have to worry about running to the toilet” the older brother said as he helped his exhausted brother up from the floor, keeping a firm grip on him as his legs wobbled beneath him. After getting him settled into bed, Dean went back downstairs to update Bobby.  
  
Bobby was pottering around in the kitchen, turning off the stove and clearing away the cooking utensils. “Is he okay? It sounded like he was pretty sick?”.  
  
Dean ran his hand down the back of his neck and sighed as he tried to locate a suitable receiver for Sam to use. “Yeah he’s been really sick. It’s just come on really suddenly. I think he may have food poisoning or something. That can‘t be good for either him or the baby. He‘s resting for now anyway. I‘m going to go and sit with him in case he gets sick again”.  
  
“Okay. Just let me know if I can do anything. Shall I plate up some food for you or get anything for Sam?” the eldest hunter asked as he continued to tidy up.  
  
“No, we’re good thanks Bobby. I was just getting this for Sam” Dean said as he held up a bowl with one hand.  
  
When the eldest brother returned to the bedroom, Sam was half-propped up in the bed, pillows behind him to try and keep him upright as he struggled to keep his head up.  
  
Sam moaned as he reached out for the bowl that his brother was carrying and retched into it, bringing up bile and the few sips of water he‘d had a few minutes earlier. The muscles in his stomach ached from the exertion. “Sorry” he apologised, embarrassed.  
  
Dean sat down on the bed next to him and handed him a handful of tissues to wipe his mouth with and the glass of water for him to sip slowly on. “It’s okay, you’re sick, it’s not your fault. I’m not going to leave you. Just try and take small sips of water because we don’t want you to get dehydrated. Hopefully it will pass soon. I’m guessing it’s a touch of food poisoning. You had tacos earlier, right?”.  
  
“Yeah…couple of hours ago….I should have been more careful, especially with the baby….thought I’d be safe with the Taco Bell….and he really wanted tacos…” the sick hunter said wearily as he felt his son kick him.  
  
“Sammy? Will you stop apologising. This is not your fault. I repeat, not your fault. You didn’t exactly set out to get salmonella on purpose. So please quit worrying and get some rest, okay? Come on, you’re tired, close your eyes” Dean prompted his brother as he laid his head down on his lap. I’m going to look after you…”.  
  
Sam moaned, voicing his discomfort.  
  
The next few hours passed very slowly, with Sam being sick on cue about every half an hour. He was too weak to lift up his head, but his brother was on hand to assist him. Any water that Sam could get in him was just coming straight back up.  
  
Dean pressed a hand to his brother’s sweaty forehead. He was running a slight fever and was on the verge of becoming dangerously dehydrated. “I’ll be back in a minute Sam….I’ll be back, I promise you…” he said as he got to his feet and gently propped Sam’s head up with pillows but his head just lolled to the side as he continued to moan.   
  
Rushing down the stairs he grabbed the phone and dialled the number on speed dial. After wrapping up the conversation he ran back up the stairs where he met Bobby halfway up.  
  
“Hey, everything okay? I heard you running around the place” Bobby asked as he rubbed his eyes to wake himself up fully.  
  
Dean shook his head frantically. “Sam’s getting worse. He’s running a slight fever now. I’ve rang Dr Lane and she said to bring him straight in so they can get him set up on a drip because he can’t keep anything down. I don’t know how I’m going to get him into the car….”.  
  
Bobby turned back around and followed the worried hunter into the bedroom where he saw a very pale and sickly looking Sam slumped to one side. “Hey Sam?” he asked as he knelt down to the younger brother’s level. “You’re not doing so good, right?”.  
  
Sam just moaned and slowly shook his head twice. He opened up his eyes and they blurrily tried to focus on his mentor and brother.  
  
“Hey baby” Dean said soothingly as he sat on the edge of the bed. “We need to get you to the hospital before you get anymore dehydrated. And that’s not good for the baby. So I need you to stand up Sammy so we can get you to the car. I know you feel like crap and are really weak but you’ve got to try, please” he pleaded. With Bobby’s help, they managed to sit the pregnant hunter up gradually.  
  
With support either side of him, Sam mustered up his last reserves of strength to stand up. He wobbled on his legs and the room was spinning around him. “Dizzy….” he managed to squeak out as he felt himself falling. But he didn’t get far, because there were two pairs of hands keeping him supported upright, preventing him from falling. The stairs were taken with extreme caution. Sam put all of his energy into focusing on walking, trying to get his knees to bend in the right places to go down the steps one at a time.   
  
Bobby quickly ran ahead once they’d reached the bottom and he opened up the front door and then one of the doors to the back seat of the Impala.  
  
Sam managed to shuffle himself into the car enough for Dean to shut the door. Once in, he collapsed back in the seat while his brother shuffled around and clicked his seatbelt on for him before doing up his own.  
  
Dean ran around to the other side, whilst Bobby, who had quickly located some footwear, squeezed in behind the steering wheel in the driver’s seat and started up the ignition immediately and headed for the hospital.  
  
The older brother kept an arm wrapped around his brother as he drifted in and out of sleep. “Not long Sam. We’ll get you better, okay?”.  
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The ER had been pre-warned of the younger hunter’s imminent arrival and were expecting him, which meant that Sam was rushed straight in to see a doctor. The first thing they did was to get him hooked up to a drip to help with his dehydration. The vomiting had pretty much come to an end, but Sam was left with a few cramps and residual nausea, but mostly he felt drained and like he’d been run over by a bus. Not being able to give him any medication because of the pregnancy, the ER doctors hadn’t been able to do much more for the young hunter, so they referred him up to maternity so they could monitor the baby now that he was over the worst of the food poisoning. Sam had been bordering on delusional due to the fever, but once the drip had starting going through, he felt so much better and came to.  
  
Sam opened his eyes a few hours later to find his brother stationed by his bed and Bobby sprawled out on a chair in the corner. After blinking a few times, it took a few moments to register where he was. He was still mildly nauseated but it was a vast improvement on a few hours ago. The only parts he really remembered was just being sick, very, very sick and cramps in his stomach. Although he knew he was out of it, he knew his brother had remained at his side, faithfully throughout.  
  
Almost as if he was sub-consciously aware that his brother had woken up, Dean woke up with a start. He smiled when he saw that his younger was not only awake, but that his cheeks were rosy again and his skin didn’t look so grey. “Hey. You look human again. You still feeling sick?”.  
  
Sam squeezed his brother’s hand as if to prove a point. “A bit, but I had a few sips of water an hour ago and so far, so good, it’s stayed put. I think it’s safe to say that I’m going to be avoiding taco’s from now on. When you’ve tasted them coming back up about 20 times, they don’t taste so good, kinda puts you off, you know! Thank you for being an awesome nurse though”.  
  
Dean laughed as he sat up. “I tried my best. I used to nurse you when you were younger when you got sick and when dad was away. Just like mom did with us, I learnt from her. She’d sit up with us for hours, watching over us until we got better. That‘s what you do for the person that you love”.  
  
In the distance, the pregnant hunter could hear a baby cry, followed by another one. Looking around the room, he tried to see out the window that backed onto the corridor. “Where are we?” he asked curiously.  
  
“We were in the ER. But then they moved you up here to maternity. They wanted to keep an eye on the baby…little Robert here…” Dean said happily as he put his hand on his brother‘s stomach with pride.  
  
Bobby turned over in his sleep and grunted noisily.  
  
“Ssssshhh!” Sam shushed. “We’re keeping that between ourselves for now, remember? I want to surprise him with it. You never did learn the art of discretion did you?” he asked light-heartedly.  
  
Dean crossed his arms over his chest indignantly. “Hey! I can be discreet when I need to be. But it’s our secret, I promised. I’m just excited. Just think Sammy, a few more weeks and we’ll be back here again for real and leaving with an extra little person”.  
  
Sam put his hand on his stomach. The baby was still for the time being, giving his father some respite. “Is he okay?”.  
  
“Yeah. He got a bit disgruntled at one point but he’s fine. There was a chance that the food poisoning could bring on early labour but you’re over the worse and that danger has passed and everything’s fine. They checked on you about an hour ago, you were sleeping quite heavily then. But they said even if you did go into labour now, at 32 weeks there’s a good chance that he’ll be just fine, so there’s no need to worry”.  
  
“Okay…that‘s good. I‘m not quite ready for him to come out just yet. He‘s too small and needs to grow a little bit more” Sam said with relief as he relaxed back into the pillows behind him. He picked up the nurse call button and pressed it.  
  
“What is it? Are you okay?” Dean asked as he went into fuss mode again automatically jumping up from his seat.  
  
“Nothing Dean, sit back down. I just want to know when I can go home. There’s nothing more they can do for me here. I’d rather go back, to the comfort of my own home. Besides, you’ll fuss over me more than a nurse would anyway” the pregnant hunter said.  
  
Dean went to protest, but then thinking it over quickly he nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah, that’s true”.  
  
Sam shuffled awkwardly in the bed as he altered his position slightly. “Besides, I’ve only just got off bed rest and out of hospital and I’ll be back here again soon enough. I was thinking about a change of scenery for a few days. We could go away for the weekend. Just the two of us before the baby arrives. Nothing special, just a bed and breakfast somewhere” he said as he took hold of his brother’s hand and caressed it gently with his fingers, brushing over the calloused skin delicately.  
  
The older hunter pushed a stray clump of hair back behind his brother’s ear and smiled as his free hand touched Sam’s cheek. “I think that’s a great idea. You’re right, we need a break and some time to relax by ourselves”.  
  
The door to the room opened swiftly and one of the nurses came breezing into the room.  
  
Bobby woke with a start and sat upright rubbing his eyes and re-positioning his lopsided baseball cap on his head.  
  
“Everything okay Sam?” the nurse asked concernedly as she checked the IV line, clamping it off and disconnecting it when she noted that it had all run through and had finished.  
  
“Yeah, I feel better. The cramps have stopped and I’ve kept the water down. I think I’m over the worst of it. I just really want to go home. Nothing beats your own bed” the sick hunter explained, making his case.  
  
The petite brunette nurse strapped a blood pressure cuff onto Sam’s arm and stuck a thermometer in his mouth and took his pulse. “Your fever has gone and the rest of your obs are fine too. Blood pressure is slightly elevated, but that’s to be expected. We’ll get you booked for an ante-natal appointment in 2 weeks to keep an eye on it” she said as she pinched his skin and let it go. “That drip has worked wonders, you’re no longer dangerously dehydrated. So I see no reason why you can’t go home. I’ll check with the doctor first and get him to sign your discharge papers. But if you get any worse again, don’t hesitate to come back in”.  
  
Sam nodded as he tried to keep up with the influx of information he was being given. “Okay, thanks” he said as he leant over to grab his glass of water.  
  
Dean beat him to it and poured some fresh water from the jug into the glass and handed it over to him. “Here….”.  
  
“You’ll need to drink lots and lots of fluids over the next few days to replenish what you’ve lost. That’s very important. Other than that, just rest and take it easy” the nurse said assertively.  
  
Bobby piped from the back of the room. “Oh, that he’ll be doing, rest assured nurse”.  
  
Sam looked at the other two men and mock scowled at them. “Hey Bobby. Good morning” he said before turning his attention back to the nurse. “Yeah, if they had their own way, they’d be gluing my ass to the couch”.  
  
“Aw, it’s nice that your husband cares about you so much” the nurse said sweetly as she looked between the two brothers.  
  
“Husband?” Sam asked as he snapped his head up.  
  
The nurse suddenly looked embarrassed as she flicked through the notes on the chart hurriedly. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were married…..you share the same surname, right? Winchester-Campbell?”  
  
Dean quickly intervened to rectify the situation. “Yeah, that’s right. We’re newly wed, and we haven’t yet made it all official, we’re just trying to adjust to it before we make legitimate. But we will….soon….very soon. I want the whole world to know……” he said as he looked longingly into his brother’s eyes giving him a glint of something special.  
  
Sam felt his breath taken away for just a moment on hearing his brother’s words which were almost like a promise, like a vow. He had lost the ability to speak for a few moments whilst he gathered his thoughts and feelings together. His stomach was fluttering with butterflies which had nothing to do with the baby or the after effects of food poisoning. “Really?” he gasped out, his voice barely audible.  
  
“Yeah” Dean whispered back as he continued to gaze into the hazel orbs which were just starting to sparkle again.  
  
Clutching the clipboard to her chest the nurse smiled at the private, display of intimate affection between the two men. “Okay Sam. I see that you’re going to be in good hands, so I’ll get your discharge papers signed and you can go home”.  
  
Dean broke the subtle embrace and smiled back at the nurse giving her one of his trademark smiles that makes anyone melt when they see it. Except of course it wasn’t quite like the one that he reserved for his brother- and only his brother. “Thank you……Nancy” he said as he glanced up at her name badge.  
  
Nancy blushed and bowed her head down shyly. “No problems. Take care” she said as she shuffled slowly out of the room and closed the door behind her.  
  
Bobby got to his feet and rifled through his pockets to locate the keys to the car. “I’ll go and get the car ready then. I’m so glad that you’re better Sam. You got us really worried about you….again” he added as an after thought. “Next time you get a craving for something, can it be for something salmonella free?”.  
  
Sam laughed as the baby shifted suddenly. “It’s all your fault, hey pip!” he said accusingly as he poked the spot where he had moved. The baby gave another swift kick to one of his kidneys causing him to hiss inwards. “Ow…okay….you win….” he said affectionately.  
  
Dean smiled. “Whatever our boy wants, he’s going to get”.  
  
“Don’t tell him that and put ideas into his head!” the pregnant hunter argued back. He grimaced in discomfort as the baby kicked him yet again. “Great, now daddy has to pee” he said as he tried to sit himself forward but the sickness had still left him weak.  
  
The older brother was quick off the mark and helped his sibling get to his feet.  
  
“I’ll leave the two of you to it” Bobby said as he slipped out of the room.  
  
Sam grabbed onto his brother’s arm as he staggered across the room to the bathroom, stopping when he reached the door. “I can take it from here” he declared.  
  
“Okay” Dean said, a little hesitantly, but agreeing nonetheless, knowing that his brother would be too embarrassed and too proud to ask for help for something like that. “I’ll be outside the door. Shout if you need me”. As he waited for his brother, the nurse’s assumption that they were married played around in his head as he recalled the elation on his brother’s face. Logically, it was the next step in their relationship, so why not? And judging by his brother’s reaction to the situation earlier, he didn’t think that there was any way he’d say no.


	29. Chapter 29

When they got back from the hospital it was still early in the morning, the sun having only just risen casting an orange-red glow over the clear and cloudless sky. The three weary hunters all went straight to bed to catch up on their lost hours of sleep.  
  
Dean was preparing some sort of brunch for the three of them, making just dry toast for Sam to test his stomach to see if it was now willing to accept food.  
  
Sam came back from the bathroom and sat back down at the kitchen table where another glass of juice was thrust in front of him. Groaning he pushed it away from him. “I’ve already had a glass full since getting up” he complained.  
  
“That’s no-where near enough Sam. You heard what the nurse said earlier this morning. You need to drink plenty. Either that, or I’ll take you back to the hospital and they can put you on another drip”.  
  
The pregnant hunter elicited another moan of protest but he picked up the glass and took a few sips grudgingly. “I’m going to be back and forth to the bathroom all afternoon. And do you know how much of a task that is these days, getting up and down all the time? And since it‘d be your fault, you‘d have to keep helping me to get up!”.  
  
“That‘s fine by me. If you’re not peeing at least every 15 minutes then you’re not drinking enough” Dean said sternly. His tone then softened as he wrapped his arms around his brother. “It’s only because I care about you. And you’ve got something to look forward to this weekend. I’ve booked us a B&B just the other side of Brandon. I’ve checked it out too, done my research. No history of any violent crimes or hauntings so nothing to distract us or entice us back into the game.  
  
Sam gave his brother a weary look as he arched an eyebrow.  
  
Dean just shrugged his shoulders and laughed. “What? That’s funny! Come on”.  
  
“Do you miss it?” the younger brother suddenly asked his sibling.  
  
Bobby turned to look at the older brother, eager to hear his answer.  
  
“Hunting?” Dean asked, wanting to clarify the question. “The second I found out that you were pregnant, that’s when everything changed and I made a vow to myself that I was going to look after you and the baby. Giving up hunting was the easiest decision ever. Sure, we’re going to teach our son the family trade when he’s older ‘cos he needs to know how to defend himself. But whilst he’s growing up, there’s no way I want to subject that to him, putting us in danger every second of every day. So my answer is no. This is our lives from now on and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Plus Bobby lets me man the phones sometimes, right? So I’m kinda still in the game, but just watching from the safety of the sidelines. And I wouldn’t be anywhere else. But believe me, I‘m still watching out for my boys, that‘s never going to change”.  
  
Sam’s smile, if possible, got wider. “I know you are. I don’t think that I’ve felt this safe and contented since……well, ever!” he admitted. Even when he broke free from hunting and jetted off to Stanford, he felt like he was always looking over his shoulder, or waiting for the phone to ring giving him bad news. He had tried to make it work there, but it had never felt completely right. Until now.  
  
Dean grinned back at the compliment. His eyes were focussed on the glass that was still over three quarters full next to his brother. “Okay, now quit stalling and drink up! You’re going to need to get your strength back before the weekend”.  
  
Bobby cleared his throat noisily to remind them that he was still in the room.  
  
Blushing, the older hunter rephrased his sentence. “I meant that I’ve booked us a tour around an art gallery. I know that it’s your kind of thing. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two?”.  
  
Sam felt his eyes water at the sentiment and consideration his brother had gone to. Sniffing to hold back the tears he wiped his eyes. His hormones always chose the most inconvenient times to assault an attack on him. “You’d really do that for me? You’d be bored after the first painting Dean”.  
  
Dean sat down next to his brother. “If it makes you happy and interests you, then I’ll make the effort. I want to know everything and share everything with you Sam. So what if art looks like little wavy lines and blotches on a canvas, if it matters to you then it matters to me too”. He noticed the watery pools of tears threatening to spill out from his brother’s eyes. “Don’t cry Sam….”.  
  
“Happy tears Dean” the pregnant hunter managed to squeak out as he got to his feet slowly. “I just need a minute” he announced as he left the room quietly, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.  
  
Bobby patted the elder brother on his back. “Wow, my boy’s all grown up. When did you get so wise in your old age?”.  
  
“Since I’ve been given the chance at having a family” Dean said as he absent mindedly scratched his neck. Peering around the corner to make sure that his brother would be occupied for a minute or so, he lowered his tone of voice into a whisper. “Bobby, I’ve got something I want to run past you and need your advice on…”.  
  
Quirking a brow curiously, Bobby leant back against the counter top and folded his arms across his chest. “I’m all ears…”.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam flopped down on the bench in the park tiredly and sighed in relief as the weight was taken off his aching feet and the pressure had eased in his spine. He had thoroughly enjoyed their tour around the art gallery and museum and Dean had shown some sort of interest and didn’t look too bored.  
  
Dean sidled up next to his brother and casually ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, twisting strands delicately around in his fingers. He could feel a dull weight in the pocket of his jacket, reminding him that it was still there.  
  
Neither brother spoke for a minute or two, just enjoying the peace and quiet of the park. The only sounds were the children playing in the school yard in the distance and the gabble of ducks swimming around in the pond.  
  
Sam looked serene, glowing in the mid-afternoon sunshine.  
  
Dean felt his heart start to beat faster when he realised that now was as good a time as any. The scene was set and the moment was right. He just needed to initiate conversation which would lead onto the inevitable conclusion.   
  
“Thank you” the pregnant hunter said to his brother, beating him to it and breaking the silence between the two of them.  
  
“What for?” Dean asked, slightly relieved that his brother had spoken first and given him grounding.  
  
Sam turned to look towards him. “For taking me away this weekend. For putting up with me. And, I guess, for not making any rude remarks about some of the paintings in that gallery. It meant a lot to me”.  
  
“Sam….there’s something that I want to talk to you about” Dean said quickly before he lost his courage. He didn’t understand why he was so nervous about the whole thing. He wiped his brow with the cuff of his sleeve.  
  
“Are you sweating, Dean? What is it?” the younger hunter asked. When a few moments had lapsed and his older brother still hadn’t said anymore, he started to get un-nerved by it. “Dean? You’re starting to scare me now” he replied worriedly.  
  
Dean snapped out of his silence and grabbed both of his brother’s hands and brought them into his own. “Nothing’s wrong Sam. It’s fine…in fact, it‘s much more than just fine. Okay, I’m really not very good at this so I’m just going to show you instead” he said as he stuffed one hand into his pocket and pulled out the little square box.  
  
Sam looked perplexed as he was handed the box. He turned it around in his hand a few times in confusion and curiosity. “Uh….” he muttered, not sure what to say.  
  
“You need to open it Sammy” Dean said as he fidgeted around on the bench and prompted to the other hunter.  
  
“Okay…” the younger brother said suspiciously as he opened the box slowly to reveal a plain silver ring, glinting back at him as the sun reflected off it. “Oh my gosh….is this…….is this…..wow” he started to say as he clasped his hand over his mouth in exasperation.  
  
Dean pulled the ring out from it’s velvet confines and held it in his hand. “It can be if you want it to be. But it’s more like a promise ring, to back up everything I’ve been telling you, about making you happy, keeping you safe, and being the best father I can to our son. It’s a promise that I’m never going to leave you and a symbol of my love to you. If you want the wedding and the ceremony and the piece of paper, if that’s what you really want, then we’ll find a way to do that, to make it all legal. I’m sorry, I really suck at this. This was a lot easier when I rehearsed it with Bobby….”.  
  
Sam giggled. “You rehearsed it with Bobby?”.  
  
“Yeah….” Dean answered embarrassedly.  
  
“Now that I would have liked to have seen” the younger sibling replied as he giggled again, imagining how that went down.  
  
Dean started to bounce his knee up and down apprehensively.  
  
Realising that he was keeping his brother in suspense Sam focused back on the conversation at hand. “Okay. Dean, just relax, okay?” he said soothingly as he stroked his face with one finger. I am so happy right now. Happier than I ever thought that I could be. This is enough for me, more than enough, more than I ever dreamed possible. I don’t need us to get a piece of paper to show me that. Not right now anyway. I accept your offer and I’ll be more than proud to wear the ring, it’s really beautiful”.  
  
“Just like you Sam. I wanted something to show my commitment to you. May I?” Dean asked as he held up the ring to his brother’s finger.  
  
Sam nodded his head. “Of course. That’s if you can get it on over my swollen fingers!” he laughed. He was surprised when the ring fit his finger perfectly. Bringing his hand up to his face he admired it and smiled back as he moved in to kiss his brother.  
  
The kiss started off slowly and gently. It was still new and exciting and sent glorious little shivers down their spines. Both couldn’t refrain from smiling at the same time, still not believing that it was happening.  
  
Dean moaned into the kiss and closed his eyes to let his senses take over and to allow himself to get completely lost in his brother’s lips, his mouth, his neck- detecting the subtle musky hint of his aftershave, drawing him in even further, getting lost in the moment until finally his brother pulled away, which, for a second, left him gasping for breath. Breaking the kiss was like cutting off his supply of oxygen.  
  
Sam got to his feet and extended out a hand to his brother. “Let’s continue this back at the hotel room. Besides, I think we need to order room service to celebrate, don’t you think?”.  
  
“Absolutely” Dean agreed as he too got to his feet and wrapped an arm around his brother’s waist.  
  
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It had been a couple of weeks since their weekend away and Sam and Dean were still on cloud nine after making their vows to each other. Sam couldn’t stop looking at his finger with the ring on. At first it had felt heavy, but now it felt like it had always been there- like it had been missing before now.  
  
Dean was in his garage working on an old Chevrolet when he saw someone sneak in, from the corner of his eye. “Not that I’m not glad to see you, but you should be resting this afternoon. You heard what Dr.Lane said this morning”.  
  
Sam sat down on a stack of metal crates, grunting as he did so. He had gotten so much bigger the past couple of weeks alone, making up for lost time after having food poisoning. “Yes, I did. He’s turning himself around the right way ready to be born. I think he‘s almost head down…“ he said happily and trying the avoid the question.  
  
Dean raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest, the muscles in his arms rippling as he did so.  
  
“She only said that my blood pressure is a little elevated, but no cause for concern and that I should be taking things easy. Which I am” the pregnant hunter argued as he took note of his brother’s well toned body, distracting him from everything else.  
  
“Your swollen feet tell me otherwise. I bet you’ve been in the nursery again sorting through the drawers” the older brother said, in an accusatory tone.  
  
Knowing that he had been caught out, he relented. “Yes I was., but it’s all sorted now. Just 6 weeks left- although I don’t see how much bigger I can get” the pregnant hunter said as he analysed the burgeoning mound underneath his stretched t-shirt. He then looked down at his ankles which were indeed puffy and swollen and tried to hide his frown.  
  
“Why don’t you go and lie down, put your feet up and I’ll come in and make you something to eat, whatever you like” Dean suggested as he downed his tools.  
  
Sam rubbed his stomach and sighed. “Dean, it’s like a hundred degrees in the house. It’s nice and cool out here in the breeze. You have no idea how uncomfortable I am right now” he said as he shuffled his legs around restlessly as if to prove a point.  
  
“You’re 8 months pregnant Sam. And you’re doing great. Just a little bit longer and it will all be worth it when he’s here, I promise” Dean said as he pulled out a step stool from the corner and lifted Sam’s feet up onto it. “You’re still so damn cute!”.  
  
Laughing, Sam shook his head amusedly. “Even though I walk like a duck right now because my hips are killing me?”.  
  
Dean licked his lips and bit down on his lip. “Ducks are cute”.  
  
Bobby jogged into the garage breathlessly. He sighed in relief when he saw Sam sitting down, with his legs up. “There you are. Sorry Dean, the phone went and then once I‘d finished, he‘d gone…..”.  
  
Sam perked up at the indirect mention of his name. “What? Were you seriously baby sitting me?” he asked as he looked back and forth between the other men.  
  
“Uh….well not exactly…” Bobby said scratching his head, trying to find the right words. He didn’t want to lie but didn’t want to get Dean into trouble either or get Sam more worked up than he was already.  
  
“Dean?” Sam ventured, turning his attention back to his brother. “You’re getting Bobby to watch over me? Seriously? You try resting all day and night and see how well you take to it. I‘m tired, hot and really grumpy right now so don‘t piss me off” he warned.  
  
“Sam” Bobby tried, “We’re just looking out for you, that’s all. It’s only because we care”.  
  
“Yeah? Well care less!” Sam said stubbornly as he tried to sit up, but failing miserably as he flopped his arms down by his side.  
  
Dean looked at Bobby frantically before trying his attempt at placating his brother. “Sam, please. Tell me that you wouldn’t do the same if it were the other way around?”.  
  
Sam opened his mouth to reply sarcastically, but then his ring on his finger caught his attention as he pondered the question for a moment, realising that his brother was annoyingly right. “No….I’d be even worse I think….” he said calmly as he realised that the other hunters were just doing what they thought was best despite him being so stubborn.  
  
The older hunter laughed nervously. “We’re not holding you prisoner Sam. You wanna go somewhere, I’ll take you there, no hesitation. I just ask that you listen to your body, okay? Your feet swell up, then you rest them”.  
  
“How have you two managed to put up with me this long? You’re both being so nice and I’m just being a bitch and taking it out on you. I’m sorry….” the pregnant hunter said sincerely as he looked between the other two hunters.  
  
Bobby smiled to show that he had already forgiven him. “That’s okay Sam. But you know, you can only use the baby as an excuse for being grumpy for another 6 weeks. After that? Well….”.  
  
Sam laughed but then moaned uncomfortably as his back started to protest being leant back awkwardly on the crates. “Okay, this is so not comfortable like this”.  
  
Dean was at his side in an instant hoisting him up and helping him to stand up.  
  
Groaning again, the pregnant hunter braced his hands up against his aching back and sighed as he widened his stance to ease the burden on his hips. “Man I just wish I could get comfortable”.  
  
“I think there’s a sun lounger in here somewhere. I can set it up outside here if you like, next to me, that’s if you want me as company” the older brother said.  
  
Sam smiled back. “I think that I can put up with you for company. Besides I love watching you work. I admire you, how you turn a scrap of metal into a working car, all the love and attention you put into it at every stage”.  
  
Dean blushed openly at the comment. “I might not be able to do books like you do, but I sure do know my way around a car”.  
  
Bobby sighed happily at finally finding a compromise. “I’ll go and get it. It probably needs a bit of cleaning up before it’s fit for use. You okay there for a bit Sam?” he asked as he took note of the pregnant hunter standing up.  
  
“Yeah, I’m good. I need to stand for a bit anyway. I just can’t stay in the same position for too long, sitting or standing” Sam said.  
  
“Okay. I won’t be long” Bobby declared as he wandered off towards one of the other garages, brimming with odd bits and bobs, that didn’t really have anywhere for them to go.  
  
Dean moved up towards his brother, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer for a kiss. He was taken by surprise when he felt something kick up against him hard just about the same time as his brother hissed. “Oh…that was a really big one!” he said exasperatedly.  
  
Sam pulled away and rubbed at the spot where his son had just kicked him forcefully. “Yeah, he’s been getting really strong recently. You can’t really blame him though because he’s running out of room. The ones where he gets my ribs are the most painful” he said thoughtfully.  
  
“I‘m sorry Sam“ Dean said apologetically.  
  
“I‘m not“ Sam clarified. “I wouldn‘t change it for anything. Do you know how amazing it is carrying a life inside of you. Feeling him move around, feeling close to him. I can‘t describe how incredible it is. So thank you for making it happen. I know he wasn‘t planned, but trust me he‘s been wanted, right from day one. And now you‘re by my side too…..”.  
  
Dean made some soothing sounds as he put his hand by his brother’s side, gently skimming it across the swollen tummy. “He’s our little miracle. He was the one that brought us together, made us realise our true feelings for each other. He’s not even born yet and he’s so special already, making his daddies see sense. And with your brains and my good looks, we’re on to a winner!” he said jokingly.  
  
“I really hope that he does look like you” the pregnant hunter said seriously. “Or has your eyes at least. I’ve been in love with those eyes for forever. The way they change colour depending on what colour you wear, or if it’s sunny, or what mood you’re in….”.  
  
“Really?” Dean questioned. “Well what do my eyes say to you right now?”.  
  
Sam looked down at his brother’s khaki t-shirt and back up at his eyes. “Well your t-shirt brings out the green, but if I look even closer I can see a subtle shade of hazel. And right now, they’re sparkling as the sun catches them. They are definitely happy eyes, without a doubt”.  
  
Dean was impressed at his brother’s keen observation. “You’re damn right there. These are very happy eyes. Observably, he noticed his brother rubbing his stomach again. “Another kick?”.  
  
Laughing, the younger brother shook his head. “No, I’m starving! I’ve not eaten in over an hour”.  
  
Gasping in mock surprise, Dean laughed. “Shocking. You must be famished”.  
  
Sam pinched his brother’s arm hard.  
  
“Ow!” Dean protested. “For that, you don’t get any peanut cups….”.  
  
“Wait, you have peanut butter cups?” the pregnant hunter asked as his eyes lit up at the thought. “Where?”.  
  
Dean reached around the corner and grabbed the bag.  
  
“Gimme!” Sam shouted as his hands went out to them. “Seriously, you’re not going to mess with a heavily pregnant hungry person are you?” he asked as he cradled his arms around his burgeoning stomach.  
  
“Maybe” the older brother said mischievously as he took a few strides backwards, edging away. “I’d like to see you catch me first….”.  
  
Sam put one hand behind his back. “Fine, just watch me” he said as he started walking towards his brother, getting surprisingly fast for someone in his advanced condition.


	30. Chapter 30

Dean woke one morning and turned over the other way to face his brother and he put his arms out to cuddle him.  Except that the other side of the bed was empty and cold.  Groaning, he fought to fully open his eyes and stumbled to his feet.  Downstairs, he could hear Bobby making his breakfast, listening to the morning news on the television but no hint that he had company.  In that case, his brother must be still upstairs.  Wandering into the nursery, for the second morning in a row, he found his brother in there incessantly folding and re-folding baby clothes and re-arranging the organisation of the drawers.  
  
“Couldn’t’ you sleep again?” the older brother asked the seemingly obvious question.  
  
Sam didn’t even look up, as he studied the contents of the drawer and pulled out another handful of romper suits.  “No, not really”.  
  
Dean smiled sympathetically and moved over to his brother and rubbed his hand up and down his back. “Baby keeping you up?”.  
  
“No, actually….” the pregnant brother said as he put his hand on his stomach thoughtfully. His son’s movements had calmed down the last few days.  He didn’t even know why he was restless recently, whether it was the increasing pressure in his pelvis or his anxiety that he was less than a month from his due date. “I just want everything to be perfect Dean…”.  
  
“Hey Sam…it is” Dean said, trying to put as much reassurance in his voice as possible, but he frowned when his words didn’t seem to have a positive effect on his brother. “Everything’s all ready.  And we’ve got our final check-up appointment with Dr.Lane next week.  Now why don’t you put your feet up and I’ll go and make you some breakfast?”.  
  
Sam’s stomach gurgled queasily at the mere mention of food. “No, I’m not hungry”.  
  
“Seriously? Not hungry?” the older brother asked in exasperation. “I’ll give you carte blanche to eat anything you like?”.  
  
Shaking his head persistently, the younger man carried on with sorting through the pile of clothes. “I told you I’m not hungry right. I might get some toast later on or something, but right now I don’t feel like eating, okay?”.  
  
Dean knew better than to push his brother anymore so he left it there. “Okay.  Just let me know when you’re ready. I’ll be out the back working on the old Ford” he said as he walked out of the nursery and trudged down the stairs, heavy footed and rubbing his eyes.  
  
Bobby was sat at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper with his feet up on another chair. He looked up briefly to see who had wandered into the room. “Morning” he said gruffly as he cleared his throat and took a sip from his cup of coffee.  He glanced back up and took note of the older brother’s pouting face. “What’s up?”.  
  
Dean sighed heavily and slumped down at the table. “It’s Sam.  He was up early again this morning sorting through the nursery again, and now he’s refusing breakfast.  He‘s just been really restless the last few days”.  
  
Folding up his paper, Bobby put it down on the table to give the weary hunter all of his attention. “Just give him a bit of space to do what he feels like he needs to do.  It’s obviously nature’s way of preparing him for the baby’s arrival.  Can you blame him? He’s going to be having a baby in a few weeks time, that must be a scary thing”.  
  
“How do you know so much about stuff Bobby?” the older hunter asked as he reached out for a slice of buttered toast.  
  
“I don’t.  I just know you and Sam far too well to know what you’re thinking. Speaking of which” Bobby said as he lowered his tone of voice.  
  
Dean turned around to see his brother waddle into the kitchen, hand braced on his aching back. “Hey Sammy?”.  
  
Sam tried to hide a grimace as he slowly sat down on the chair. “Hey”.  His back had been aching on and off more than usual over the past day.  
  
Bobby smiled at the younger brother and got to his feet. “Can I get you anything?”.  
  
“No, I’m good thanks” Sam said. “I feel nauseous, so I’m not going to risk eating anything right now. My back is really sore this morning too, so I’m not feeling too great”.  
  
The older brother put a hand reassuringly on his brother’s back and rubbed it up and down gently. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do, okay? What about a nice soak in a hot bath?”.   
  
 “That sounds like a great idea, but number one, I’m not sure I can still fit in the tub, and number two if I did, I’d never be able to get out” the younger hunter tried to say humorously, but he felt rubbish and wasn’t able to pull it off.  
  
“That’s what I’m here for and I’m feeling super strong this morning.  I think Bobby may even have some of his pink raspberry bubble bath mixture left too.  He says that he only bought it because it was on special, but I don’t buy that story one bit” Dean said amusedly as he looked towards his mentor who glared back at him.  
  
“Hey, leave my bubble bath mixture out of this” Bobby said. “And don’t pretend that you don’t like it!”.  
  
Sam started to giggle much to the relief of his brother and mentor. “A Bubble bath sounds great, awesome in fact”.  
  
Dean was on his feet in seconds. “I’ll start running the taps for you” he said as he gently gave his brother a squeeze and kissed him on the forehead.  
  
Bobby laughed quietly to himself. “Your brother lives to make you happy, he’s been dying to do something to help for days.  He’s been worried about you, you know?”.  
  
Sam quirked an eyebrow. “Worried about me? Why?” he said as he shifted awkwardly on the chair to change his position to try and ease the pain in his back.  
  
“You’ve not been yourself the last couple of days, that’s all” Bobby said quietly.  
  
“No you’re right there” the pregnant hunter scoffed. “This baby has well and truly taken over my body.  I’m exhausted, sore and really uncomfortable and I’m just more than ready for him to come out now. I want to meet him” he said dreamily as he looked down on himself.  
  
“You’re not the only one” Dean said as he strolled back into the kitchen, his t-shirt specked with drops of water from running the taps of the bath. “It’s ready when you are. I’ve put a few drops of lavender oil in too to help you relax”.  
  
Sam smiled at his brother’s attempt to help him to feel better. “Have you been reading the baby books again?”.  
  
Dean’s smile turned into a smirk. “Well….looked at the pictures at least….man, some of them aren’t too pretty Sammy, that’s all I can say is good luck with that!”.  
  
Laughing nervously the pregnant hunter felt tears breach his eyes. “Please don’t.  I’m trying not to think about that part yet.  Pushing something really big, out of something really small?” he said as he inhaled and exhaled slowly. “I guess I’m just freaking out here a little bit…” he confessed.  
  
“You’re not going to be doing it alone Sam.  Okay? Please don’t be scared, because me and Bobby are going to be the best damn lamaze coaches ever and we’ve got the best obstetrician in the state, so it’s all going to be just fine.  Just focus on the end result, and in a few weeks we’ll have him in our arms” the older brother said, trying to put his brother’s mind at ease and giving his hand a comforting squeeze.  
  
“I don’t know how you’ve done it Sam, but you’ve done so well in all of this, stayed so strong and mature.  Your father would be so proud of you” Bobby said sincerely.  
  
“And mom” Dean added solemnly.  
  
Sam nodded his head once and made to get to his feet.  His brother’s hand was there in an instant for him to grab onto for support. “But I couldn’t have done it without you two, so thank you” he said before pausing.  His back started acting up again reminding him of the hot bath that awaited him. “Okay, I’m ready, let‘s go”.  
  
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Sam hadn’t slept much that night either as his back continued to get worse.  The next morning, he could hear his brother in the shower as he tried to get dressed but the Braxton hicks he had been feeling throughout the night were getting more persistent.  The sweatpants were too tight and restricting around his swollen stomach and only made him more uncomfortable.  He threw those on the floor to the pile of the other failed outfit choices for today.  He was putting on another pair, trying them out when his brother sauntered into the bedroom, towel drying his hair.  Grunting inelegantly as he tried to pull them up, he gave up and just left them hanging at his waist.  
  
“Still trying to find something that fits you?” Dean asked the obvious question as he bent down to pick up the discarded clothes as he knew that his brother wouldn’t be able to manage the seemingly simple task.  
  
“Yeah” Sam pouted. “I just can’t seem to find anything comfortable.  These will do for now” he said as he pulled the biggest t-shirt he could find down over his stomach.  
  
Dean quickly put on some jeans and a t-shirt and kissed his brother. “I’ve got to go.  I told Bobby I’d go and pick up some spare parts before 10am, so I’ll see you later, okay?”.  
  
“Okay.  Love you” Sam said as he watched his brother leave the room and listened to him hastily running down the stairs and out the front door, slamming it on his way out.  He moaned suddenly as a Braxton hicks mounted an attack on him.  This one was a tad more uncomfortable than any of the others. “Go easy on daddy, please?” he begged.  Once the sensation had eased off he got to his feet and made his way downstairs, carefully and slowly.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sam had tried to eat something but the food just wasn’t sitting right in his tumultuous stomach.  He had this nagging feeling that something wasn’t right but he couldn’t quite work out what. The muscles in his stomach suddenly tightened again, causing him to double over the kitchen sink and moan quietly. “Ah!” he said as his hand rubbed across his belly frantically. It was bordering on painful but he passed it off as another Braxton hicks because it eased when he took a few steps forward.  Once he’d recovered he decided to go in pursuit of his brother.  They would be seeing their obstetrician in a few days so he could ask her whether all of this was normal.  The sound of yet another rock album coming from outside, was a telltale sign that his brother was, of course in his garage working on something.  Going outside and on approaching the open garage he saw his brother sanding down a piece of wood, deep in concentration, his tongue poking out just ever so slightly to indicate his focus.  
  
Dean was too immersed in making sure that the surface of the wooden object was soft and splinter free, to notice that his brother was again, watching him with awe.  Removing his safety goggles he turned the sander off and moved away from the slowing mechanism when he spotted his brother. “Hey!”.  
  
“Hey. What are you doing?” Sam asked curiously as he studied the wooden object and pointed to it, all the while keeping one hand firmly on his stomach, ready to help ease anymore weird sensations that occurred.  
  
“Oh….that” the older brother said as he picked it up. “I’m just messing around really, woodwork was never was my strong point.  It’s meant to be, or rather going to hopefully be a toy car” he said as he grabbed another few pieces of perfectly smoothed wood and holding them all together with his hands. “Obviously it’s not quite finished yet.  I need to glue the bits together and then paint it, in child safe paint, obviously. Non-metallic I‘ve been told”.  
  
Sam smiled as he reached out for the pieces and mentally pictured how they would fit together and envisaged the end result, a spreading smile on his face. “I take it that it’s for the baby, right?”.  
  
Dean blushed embarrassedly. “Well….yeah….the end product might not be so good…but I tried…”.  
  
“I think it’s going to be perfect, he’s going to love it.  Even if it doesn’t turn out perfect, he’s going to love it anyway because his papa made it himself with his own hands.  It will take pride of place on his shelves in the nursery until he’s old enough to play with it” the pregnant hunter told his brother. “What are you going to use for the wheels?” he asked inquisitively.  
  
“Ah….these” Dean said as he pulled out a small polystyrene bag with four small toy wheels. “It’s amazing what you can buy on eBay” he said amusedly. “But I’ve done my research, they too are child safe, because no son of mine is choking on any small parts”.  
  
Sam laughed but then moaned softly as the band of muscles in his stomach tightened causing him to put down the pieces of wood he was holding.   
  
Dean looked worriedly at his brother and put his hand on Sam’s hip. “You okay?”.  
  
“Yeah, damn Braxton hicks are really stepping up a notch” Sam stated as he exhaled deeply and gently rubbed circles on his stomach.  
  
“Come on, sit down” the older brother prompted as he guided his brother over to the chair that had been set up inside the garage especially for the pregnant hunter.  
  
Lowering himself down into the chair, Sam carried on breathing deeply for a few moments until the muscles relaxed again.  He opened his eyes, not realising that he had closed them and saw his brother looking down at him anxiously. “I’m fine” he said calmly. “So what else have you been buying from eBay?”.  
  
Dean was assured by his brother and went back over to his workstation and rifled through some of the things scattered on top of it. “Well I was going to make some building blocks for him too, figured that wood is safer and more natural than manufactured plastic.  He’s going to be smart like you Sammy, so we’re going to get him educated young”.  
  
Listening to his brother speak about the future and bringing up their son, made his heart swell with absolute pride.  A pang of guilt and sorrow ran through him for just a second when he thought about how he nearly denied his brother of all of that.  But none of that mattered now because they were together and that’s the way things were going to stay.  Their future together had barely began.  He could picture his brother in a few years time, reading a bedtime story to their son, teaching him everything that he needed to know. He was deep in thought when another pesky Braxton hicks contraction assaulted him causing him to moan out again, this time a little louder as he didn’t have much of a chance to prepare for it and hide the discomfort. “Aaahh..” he winced.  He could feel small beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead, suddenly aware that he was really, really warm.  
  
The older hunter looked up at his brother suspiciously. “Sam? Are you sure those are Braxton hicks? I thought they were meant to be irregular.  You’ve had two in the last 5 minutes” he said, looking at his watch briefly. “And you’re sweating….” he observed.  
  
Wiping his hand across his forehead, Sam got his breath back before answering. “I dunno, these Braxton hicks contractions are just getting a little more stealthy that’s all, plus it’s like eighty degrees out here, so it’s no wonder I‘m a little warm…”.  
  
“Maybe we should call Dr. Lane” Dean suggested as he pulled his cell phone free from his pocket.  
  
Sam reached up to his brother’s cell and took it from him, flipping the lid back down. “It’s fine Dean. I’m still three and a half weeks from my due date, it’s too early yet”.  
  
Dean gazed at his brother sceptically. “You’re coming up to 37 weeks, that’s considered full-term”.  
  
“Wow, you’ve really been swotting up on the baby books” the pregnant hunter stated.  
  
“Of course I have” Dean agreed. “I want to go through all of this with you, know how you’re feeling and what’s happening to your body and our baby.  I owe you that at least….both of you” he said as he put his hand on his sibling’s heavily swollen belly.  He was about to pull it back when he felt the muscles tense up under his palm and frowned as he looked at his brother’s contorted face. “Was that…?”.  
  
“Another Braxton hicks….” Sam said unconvincingly, trying to convince himself of that fact but he wasn’t so sure.  They felt different now, in fact they’d been feeling different since he’d gone to bed last night, if he was being honest.  
  
Dean retrieved his cell phone back from his brother’s grip, which was clenching tight around the cell. “Sam, I really don’t think they are, because they’re coming at regular intervals.  How long have you been having them?”.  
  
Sam closed his eyes and thought back over the last few hours. “Uh….a while….I think…..but they’ve only started to hurt since early this morning.  My back has been really sore too, the pain has been coming and going in spasms…..Oh God….am I really in labour?” he asked as he came to the realisation that his brother was probably right. He widened his legs and put both hands under his belly for support to try and make himself a tad more comfortable.  
  
“Okay….Sam….” Dean said calmly and responsibly as he knelt down to his brother’s level. “Look at me, don’t panic.  Just stay nice and calm for me.  So he’s a little ahead of schedule, but it will be fine, I promise you.  I’ll call Dr. Lane and see if she thinks we need to come in and get you checked out.  How does that sound?”.  
  
“Yeah.  That sounds good” Sam said serenely as he willed himself to relax.  Before his brother could finish dialling the numbers on his cell, a stronger contraction gripped around his middle, increasing in intensity and causing pressure to build up in his pelvis which made him grab onto his brother’s arm and pull him down next to him. “Ahh…this one hurtsss….” he said hissing in pain.  
  
Something instilled calmness in the older brother as he comforted his sibling through the throes of the contraction.  He grabbed the younger hunter’s hand and squeezed it tightly, encouraging him to do the same back. “Breathe…in through your nose and out through your mouth, nice and slow”.  
  
Sam tried to focus on his brother’s voice and mimic his breathing.  Another surge of pressure ran through his pelvis and he looked down in time to see his sweat pants turning dark as liquid seeped through and ran down the chair, splattering to the ground. “Oh God, Dean… my water’s just broken…this is it, definitely it. He’s coming…..” he said through panicked eyes as he looked straight at his brother.  
  
Dean looked from the rapidly forming puddle on the ground up to his brother’s terrified looking face. “Sam…it’s fine….” he said putting a finger under his brother’s chin and pushing it up gently.  
  
Shaking his head, the pregnant young hunter started to sob. “I’m all wet….”.  
  
“It’s okay.  You’re in labour” Dean said aloud, for both of their benefits to get the idea to sink in, in their heads. Before he started to freak out, and knowing that he needed to stay calm for his brother he shouted out the other hunter’s name.  He knew that he was working around the corner in the scrap yard “Bobby. BOBBY?!”  
  
Bobby heard Dean yelling for him and he walked around the corner to the garage. “Okay, keep your panties on…..” he said before stopping his words short as he assessed the scene in front of him.  Dean was knelt down in front of his brother, who was sobbing quietly to himself, one hand under his belly and the other in between his legs which were wet. “Crap! Unless you’ve peed yourself, then I’d say that we’re having a baby today!”.  
  
Dean got to his feet and nodded frantically. “Get the car ready Bobby, we’ll meet you there in a second. Come on Sam, up you get” he said as he offered his hand.  
  
Shakily, Sam got to his feet and wobbled for a second, keeping hold of his brother‘s hand for support. “Wait my hospital bag is still in the nursery.  We need it, it‘s got everything that we need in there”.  
  
“Okay, you stay here and I’ll go and get it for you” the older brother suggested as he let go of his brother’s hand and encouraged him to lean against the wall for something to cling onto.  
  
The pregnant hunter shook his head as another contraction started to build up. “No, I want to come with you….I need to get changed into dry sweats.  I don’t want to go to the hospital like this, please?” he pleaded.  
  
Dean went back over to his brother and wrapped an arm around him, prompting him to walk slowly with him. “Okay, let’s get you changed then”.  
  
Bobby ran his hand over his face. “I’ll go and get the car ready to go and make sure there’s enough gas in her.  I’ll see you in a bit.  If there’s anything else I can do, just holler” he said excitedly.  
  
Sam made it indoors and he signalled to his brother that he needed to sit down on the couch as the contraction that was slowly building was reaching it’s peak.  
  
The older brother realised what was happening and he made to grab his hand when his labouring brother shook his head.  
  
“I’ll be okay…..bag……pants….quick” Sam managed to squeak out before groaning painfully and shouting out. “Aaahhh…aaahhh…”.  
  
Dean was alarmed at how much his brother was in pain and his instinct was telling him that he should stay with him for the duration of the contraction, but then realised that time was of the essence and that his priorities were to get the things his brother needed, so he ran upstairs and frantically swiped the bag from the nursery and picked up the first oversized sweat pants he could find, which had been folded up on their bed.  When he ran back down the stairs, Sam was panting but seemed to have ridden out the worst of the contraction. “Lift your hips up….” he said as he peeled the wet sweat pants off.  
  
Sam tried to assist his brother as much as he could but just as soon as the contraction had tapered off, another one seemed to be brewing. “Hurry….” he urged as he fought to stand up and help pull up the clean pants.  Staggering over to the front door, he then paused to catch his breath and speak to his brother. “We’re having our baby Dean”.  
  
“I know. I’m so proud of you Sammy…” the older brother said as he kissed his brother’s forehead. “Let’s go have a baby, shall we?” he asked as he picked up the bulging bag and the house keys.  He guided his labouring brother into the back seat of the car to give him more room, and threw the bag into the trunk before running back to the house to shut and lock the front door.  As soon as he’d sat down in the front seat of the car Bobby stepped on the gas and began their 40 minute journey to the hospital.  
  
  
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Sam moaned in the back seat as the contractions started coming on top of one another.  The seatbelt didn’t help matters as it dug in painfully under his belly.  It took all of his energy and concentration to keep control of his breathing and ride out the pain.  He closed his eyes to enhance his focus.  
  
Dean was on his cell to the Dr’s office to explain that they were on their way.  When he hung up the phone call he loosened his seat belt to turn around in the seat to get a look at his brother. “Hey Sammy, how are you doing?”.  
  
Panting, Sam opened his eyes slowly, and kept both hands clutched around his belly and braced his feet down onto the foot well, preparing himself for the next impending contraction. “Oh yeah….just great dumbass….you have no idea how much this hurtssssss……” he said sucking in a breath at the end as another pain started to build up.  
  
Bobby laughed to himself as he imagined Sam torturing Dean in some way of another and he actually felt sympathy for the older brother right now.   
  
“How far apart are the contractions? We should really start timing them” the older brother suggested as he looked at his watch.  
  
Sam scoffed as he panted ferociously. “Apart? There is no apart Dean! Coming all the time” he said before cutting himself short as he grunted, fingers digging down into the leather seats. “Nngggnnn…….”.  
  
Dean looked at his brother worriedly and then at the speedometer on the dash board. “Okay….well just try to relax….”.  
  
“Relax!” the labouring hunter shouted out. “Just shut the hell up….I’d like to see you try and relax when you’re about to…….aaahhh…AAAAH!”.  
  
“I don’t think you’re helping Dean” Bobby commented as he changed up a gear now that they’d moved onto the open road.  
  
“Whatever, just drive. Can’t you go any faster dammit!?” Dean whispered to his mentor. “We’re still a good half hour away from the hospital”.  
  
Sam continued to moan as he felt the baby move lower down the birth canal. “I need some drugs…..pain…”.  
  
Bobby put his foot down on the gas and increased their speed. “I’m going as fast as I can, but if it’s alright with you, I’d rather get us all there safely”.  
  
Dean tapped his fingers anxiously on the window pane. Craning his neck, he looked back at his brother again. “You know, this could take hours from what I’ve read.  Especially first labour’s, they are long and slow, so I think we‘re probably over reacting here….I‘m sure we‘ve got plenty of time”.  
  
“Does this look like it’s going to be a long process? Just shut up, please! Bobby tell him to stop” the labouring man shouted out through gritted teeth and staggered breaths.   
  
The older brother was about to open his mouth to protest when Bobby cast him a warning look so he folded his arms across his chest and stayed silent.  
  
Sam’s contractions were getting even more frequent and were much stronger in just a short space of time. He felt the baby move down even lower in his pelvis and he knew that they would never make it to the hospital.  Grunting he tried to adjust his position during the brief few seconds of respite from the contractions, lying himself down and stretching out his long legs.  With shaky hands he undid the seatbelt that was stretched like a tight band across his contracting tummy.  
  
The commotion in the back seat got Dean’s attention as he looked back again and saw that his brother was stretched out in the backseat. “Hey, Sammy.  Whatya doing? Put your seatbelt back on”.  
  
Deep in the throes of yet another contraction, Sam shook his head stubbornly. “Please stop the car….the baby’s coming”.  
  
Dean loosened his seatbelt and reached out for his brother, taking his hand in his. “Yes, we know he is, that’s why we’re getting you to the hospital as quick as we can.  Just over 20 minutes to go…..”.  
  
Sam suddenly had the urge to bear down and push, but was trying to fight against the instinct. “No….the baby’s coming RIGHT NOW” he shouted insistently. “I….need…to…push…so stop the damn car!”.


	31. Chapter 31

Deep in the throes of yet another contraction, Sam shook his head stubbornly. “Please stop the car….the baby’s coming”.  
  
Dean loosened his seatbelt and reached out for his brother, taking his hand in his. “Yes, we know he is, that’s why we’re getting you to the hospital as quick as we can.  Just over 20 minutes to go…..”.  
  
Sam suddenly had the urge to bear down and push, but was trying to fight against the instinct. “No….the baby’s coming RIGHT NOW” he shouted insistently. “I….need…to…push…so stop the damn car!”.  
  
Bobby looked in his back mirror, from the labouring brother, to the older one apprehensively. “I think we need to stop, we’re not going to make it”.  
  
“Please, just keep driving” Dean said quietly. “Sam? Listen to me, you’ve got to hold on, you can’t have the baby here in the car….we need to get to the hospital…..where the doctors and midwives are…can’t you cross your legs together or something?”.  
  
Huffing and groaning, Sam still managed to laugh sarcastically.  He squeezed down on his brother’s hand as tight as he could.  
  
Dean withdrew his hand quickly and nursed it, wriggling out his fingers to ease the cramp. “OOWW! That really hurt Sammy! I think you‘ve re-broken all my fingers”.  
  
“Just gimme your hand….you got me in this mess…,you’re going to help me out of it dammit!” Sam said as he decided to give into what his body was telling him to do.  
  
Bobby kept his foot steady on the gas as he drove. “We’re not going to make it Dean.  Now get in the back seat and help your brother out  He needs you. And quit being a pussy.  Suck it up and be a man and let Sam hold your hand.  His need is greater than yours right now” Bobby said as he reached for the older brother’s cell. “I’m going to phone the Dr again and update her” he said putting it on bluetooth and using the hands free setting.  
  
Sam moaned in the backseat again, a strangled cry as he felt the baby move down even lower and breach the surface of his birth canal painfully. “Dean….I need you…can’t do this”.  
  
Dean was shocked into action so he undid his seatbelt and climbed over the gear shifter in his haste to get to the backseat.  He immediately sat down and rested Sam’s head on his lap and pushed his sweat soaked hair out of his face.  Putting his hand on the swollen mound of flesh he felt it go rock hard and almost quiver as he felt his brother trying to push. “Don’t push, not yet Sam.  We don’t know what we’re doing here…”.  
  
“I do….my body…telling me to puuusssshhh..” Sam squeaked out as he clenched onto his brother’s hands and gripped tighter for support as he let out another strangled whine.  
  
Bobby was deep in conversation with the doctor, when he slowed the car down, and finally pulled over to the side of the road in a clearing.   
  
“Why have we stopped Bobby?” the older brother asked as he tried to soothe his brother and help him through the brutal contractions.  
  
“Because we have a baby to deliver Dean.  Dr. Lane can tell by the noise that Sam’s making right now that the baby is ready to be born and he needs to push. We‘re not going to make it in time” Bobby said assertively as he pulled the phone away from his ear for a second.    
  
“It’s okay Sam” Dean said as he breathed in and out slowly not only to calm his brother down, but for his own benefit too.  
  
Bobby muttered something to Dr Lane and he put the cell onto speakerphone and the female voice boomed out from the speaker. “Sam? It’s Dr Lane here.  Your son is obviously really anxious to come out and meet you”.  
  
Sam panted frantically to try and repress the urge to push. He concentrated on focussing his energy on listening to his chosen obstetrician.   
  
“But it’s okay…” Dr Lane continued, “I’m going to talk Bobby and Dean through this all, I’m not going anywhere, I promise sweetie”.  Not expecting an answer she directed her speech toward the eldest man. “Bobby take me off speaker, here‘s what you need to do….” she said, before the faithful mentor cut her off.  
  
Dean listened to Bobby’s side of the phone conservation. “Yeah he’s lying down. Okay I’ll get him to check now” he said as he pulled the phone away from his ear again. “Dean, you need to get out of the car, go around the other side.  You need to get Sam’s pants off and check what’s happening down there”.  
  
Dean’s skin started to prickle with cold goose bumps. “Oh God….” he said as he tried to compose himself. “I don’t know…..can’t……don’t know what I’m doing…..”.  
  
Bobby swivelled around in the driver’s seat. “Dean, you need to stay calm.  Dr Lane is going to talk us through this, it’s going to be okay” he tried to say as reassuringly as possible despite his own fears and anxiety.  He could feel his heart pounding as if threatening to burst out through his chest.  
  
“Okay” Dean said confidently once he’d got a hold of himself.  Sam needed him more than ever right now and he wasn’t going to let him down. “Sam? I’m just going round the other side of the car.  I’ll be back in just a second” he said as he started to release his grip from his brother but Sam just clung onto him even tighter.  
  
“Nooo….don’t leave me, please….don’t leave” Sam sobbed, scared and in pain.  He put one hand down in between his legs and even through his sweatpants he could feel something there. “I think I can feel….his head….”.  
  
“Ssshhh, Sam it’s okay. I’ll only be a second.  But we need to have a look.  I’ll be right back” Dean insisted.  
  
Sam wailed again. “Nooo.  Dean, I need you up here, please?”.  
  
Dean stopped struggling against his brother and settled back into the seat, leaning back against the closed door of the car. “Okay, I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Bobby?” he asked, eyes wide with uncertainty and fresh trepidation.  
  
Bobby squirmed uncomfortably in the seat for a few seconds, contemplating the next move.  “Okay…I’m on it…“ he said as he then shot up out of the car and went around to the side of the passenger door where the end of Sam’s legs were. “I’m going to have to put you back on speaker phone doc”.  After clicking a few buttons on the cell phone he opened up the door and leant down on the ground. “Sam? We’re going to need those pants off….”.  
  
When Sam whimpered, Dean did his best to comfort him. “It’s okay.  You’re doing so well…so, so good” he said kissing the top of his head and hugging it into his chest.  
  
“This is not the time to be embarrassed now” Bobby said tenderly, but sternly, as he needed to rationalise with the labouring hunter. “May I?” he asked as he wrapped his fingers around the waistband and started to tug.  
  
Sam was in too much pain to argue and merely nodded as his hands moved down lower to assist.  
  
Bobby gasped in exasperation at what he saw.  Dean was about to ask what was wrong, when the eldest hunter spoke into the phone. “Yeah…I can almost see the head.  It’s definitely a head, that’s good right?” he confirmed with the doctor and awaited further instructions.  
  
Dr. Lane laughed softly over the phone which was now resting in the foot well of the car. “That’s more than good. It means that the baby isn’t breech and that this will hopefully be a straight forward delivery . Now Sam, on the next contraction, just do what your body is telling you to do, just push. But slowly and controlled okay?”.  
  
Sam was concentrating on pushing, so the doctor’s voice was tinny and distant to him. Bearing down he felt a burning and stinging sensation as the head moved further out. “Can you see him?” he asked as he tried to sit up to see.  
  
Dean encouraged him to lie back and took hold of his hand again. “Just relax….”.  
  
“I can see him Sam.  His head is fully out. Thick, dark head of hair!” Bobby marvelled.  
  
“Well done” Dr Lane commended and encouraged over the phone. “Just try and get your breath back before the next one. Dean?”.  
  
“I’m on it!” the older hunter shouted back. “In through your nose…and out through your mouth, just like we did earlier. Nice and slow” he soothed calmly to his brother.  
  
Sam focused on his brother’s voice trying to slow his thready and shallow breaths down to take in as much oxygen as he could.  He was only given a few seconds in which to do so, because another contraction started to build in the pit of his stomach and the urge to push made itself known once more.  
  
“Bobby?” Dr Lane asked when she realised that things had gone quiet for a minute.  
  
Bobby’s eyes darted to the phone, staring intently at it as if he were looking at the actual doctor. “Yeah?” he responded, cautiously, and taking note that her voice sounded a little more serious.  
  
“You need to get involved now.  Once the first shoulder starts to emerge, you need to gently guide the other one out so the baby doesn’t get stuck.  Can you do that?”.  
  
Sweat started to form on the eldest hunter’s brow and he removed his baseball cap and rolled up his sleeves and he could do nothing now to hide his apprehension.  
  
Dean smiled and nodded at his mentor. “You can do it Bobby.  I trust you with my life…and Sammy’s….and now our baby’s…”.  
  
Sam was unable to speak right now but he tried to make eye contact with his father figure to try and tell him that he trusted him too. “Nnnggggnnnn……can’t…..aaahhhhhh!” he moaned.  
  
With shaky hands Bobby guided the first shoulder out with ease. “Come on Sam.  You’re nearly there.  I think maybe one or two more and you’re done!”.  
  
“Noo….too tired….I can’t….please” the pregnant hunter begged as his exhausted body shook violently whilst tears were flowing uncontrollably down his face.  
  
Dean pulled his brother closer into him and bowed his head down so that their foreheads were nearly touching.  One finger caressed Sam’s cheek lovingly. “You can.  I’m so proud of you.  How strong you are.  How you’ve dealt with everything…with me…us….and the baby.  You got through all of that and you can get through this.  We just need one big more push Sam.  I’m with you, come on” he said as he gripped his brother’s hand tight.  
  
“Just want him out….please Bobby” Sam whimpered as he looked up at Bobby.  
  
Dr Lane intervened. “Sam? I know you’re exhausted right now, but you’re so nearly there, don’t give up.  No-one can do this for you.  Bobby can assist, but you need to push him out”.  
  
Sam bobbed his head up and down and when the next contraction came, he screamed and pushed with all that he had left in him and felt the baby leave his body in a rush of fluid.  He sighed with relief and flopped back into his brother’s arms sobbing with a mixture of different emotions.  
  
Bobby gently took the infant in his wobbly arms. “He’s out! What do I do now? What do I do now?” he asked the doctor urgently.  
  
“Just give him a second to catch his breath.  Is he pinking up? If not you need to clean out his airway to get him to-” she was saying until the infant started to cry and give a high pitched wail.   
  
Dean sighed deeply with sheer relief when he heard the sound of his son starting to cry.  
  
Sam’s hands made grabby movements at Bobby. “My baby…..”.  
  
Bobby placed the newborn on Sam’s chest.  After wiping his hands on his old jeans, he picked up the phone and began a new conversation with the doctor.  
  
“He’s here, you’ve done it….” the older hunter marvelled over their son.  He reached out and grabbed one of his fingers. The newborn tightened his hold on Dean’s hand as his eyes fluttered open.  
  
“Hey baby” Sam said quietly as he ran his fingers delicately through his baby’s wispy, dark wavy locks of hair.  He didn’t even care that he was still all messy and had yet to be cleaned up, he loved him regardless- love at first sight. “Look what we did?”.  
  
Dean curled his arm around Sam and the baby, not trying to fight the tears that were rolling down his face. “I know.  He’s beautiful.  He looks so much like you.  His hair, his nose….”.  
  
Sam gasped when his son opened his eyes fully, fluttering his thick eyelashes open, to reveal a promise of beautiful green eyes. “Your eyes….I knew he would have your eyes.  He’s so perfect, and tiny”.  
  
Bobby appeared by the car door again just less than a minute later, tucking the cell phone into the back pocket of his jeans.  He was holding a blanket in his arms. “We need to wrap him up nice and warm.  Then I’ve got to tie off the placenta at either end and Dr Lane will meet us in the hospital in 15 minutes and she’ll sort out the rest and check you both over”.  Wrapping the wriggling infant up in the blanket, it was then that Bobby saw him for the first time properly. “Although he seems completely and utterly fine to me……hey.  I’m your grandad Bobby”.  
  
The newborn stirred and looked up in awe.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said as smiled at his faithful mentor. “Thank you for getting him out safely”.  
  
“You did all the work Sam.  I was just the ball catcher” Bobby said modestly as he used his shoelaces to tie off the cord exactly as Dr Lane had instructed him to do. “Now wrap yourselves up warm and we’ll hit the road” he said as he wrapped a larger blanket around Sam and the new arrival before shutting the car door gently.  
  
Dean pulled the blanket tighter around his family and wrapped his arms around them.  He could feel Sam shaking.  “Hey, it’s okay.  You’ve done it Sam”.  
  
The baby fussed around in the younger hunter’s arms, but settled down as he was comforted.  
  
“Do you think he’s alright?” Sam asked worriedly as he tucked the blanket under the newborn’s chin and wiped some of the gunk off his face.  
  
Bobby slid back into the driver’s seat and re-started the engine, suddenly aware of how shaky his hands were as he put the car into gear and pulled out onto the road to continue their interrupted journey to the hospital.  
  
Dean smiled happily. “I think so.  He’s a Winchester, right?”.  
  
“Winchester-Campbell” Sam corrected as he looked up from his baby for a second to see the scenery whiz past them in a blur through the window, knowing that they weren’t that far away from the hospital now.  He shut his eyes and allowed himself to doze for a few minutes knowing that he was safe in his brother’s arms.  The next thing he realised was when the car came to a stop and the engine was cut off.  
  
“Sammy? Open your eyes….we’re here” Dean prompted his brother.  
  
Bobby had rushed off to find a wheelchair and came back within the minute.  
  
Sam attempted to sit up, with the baby still snuggled into his chest. He moaned softly as his stomach pulled painfully at the sudden movement. “Ah”.  
  
Dean put one hand on his brother’s back for support and helped him to swing his legs around slowly until he was sat up on the edge of the back seat of the car.    
  
The older brother and Bobby each hooked an arm under Sam’s and pulled him to his feet and set him down into the wheelchair.  
  
“I’ll get the bag from the trunk” Dean said as he ran around the back to get it.  
  
Bobby pushed the wheelchair into the main entrance of the hospital, with Dean hot on his heels.  
  
Sam’s grip remained firmly around his baby and on the blanket that was covering up his modesty.  
  
As they walked through the door, they were met by Dr Lane, as promised, who ushered them into the elevator and up to the maternity wing to a side room.  
  
“Okay Sam.  Let’s get you up onto the bed.  We need to deliver the placenta and cut the cord” the physician instructed as she held out her arms to take the baby from him.  
  
Sam pulled his son closer into his chest but then reluctantly handed him over. “Make sure he’s okay, please?” he begged.  
  
Dr. Lane smiled as she held the infant whilst Sam painfully made his move onto the bed. The baby was then laid down carefully onto the bed.   
  
“Did I tie off the cord correctly?” Bobby asked worriedly.  
  
The doctor pulled on a fresh pair of gloves and looked over at the eldest man. “You did great Bobby, really good” she said reassuringly. “Now Dean, would you like to cut the cord?”.  She held out the scissors to the older brother.  
  
Dean looked nervously down at his brother, fingers interspersed with his brothers. “Sam?”.  
  
Sam nodded his head. “Go on….”.  
  
“Okay…what do I do?” Dean asked as he took the scissors from the physician.  
  
“Just cut right here, in between the two ties.  It’s not going to hurt either of them, I promise” she explained when the hunter had looked even more apprehensive as the scissors made contact with the cord.  
  
Dean made the cut, and separated their son from Sam.  
  
Sam moaned as his stomach went into spasm again.  
  
Dr.Lane took the infant and handed him to one of the midwives who had appeared in the room to assist. “We’re going to get him all cleaned up for you and weighed. Do you have some clothes you want us to put on him?”.  
  
“In the bag.  It should be on the top, Bobby” Sam said as he pointed to the bag on the chair next to the bed. As he twisted around, his tummy contracted again painfully causing him to moan out loud.  
  
Dean looked at the Doctor in alarm. “Is everything okay?”.  
  
Dr.Lane nodded her head. “Yes.  It’s just the placenta being delivered.  If you want to help Sam, put your hand just over his tummy there and rub firmly in small circles over the muscles. You’ve done the hardest bit Sam.  Are you okay there for a minute while I go and check over the baby?”.  
  
“Yeah, thank you” the older brother said as he put his hands on his brother’s puffy tummy and began massaging it. “Is this okay?” he whispered to Sam.  
  
Sam nodded his head. “Yeah, it’s easing now, thank you.  I love you….”.  
  
“I love you too” Dean replied as he leant over to plant a delicate kiss on Sam’s clammy forehead.  
  
“Okay, let’s see how we’re doing over here” Dr. Lane said a few minutes later when she came back over to examine her patient. “I think we’re all done here” she said as she discarded the mass of tangled sheets and blankets.  
  
Hearing his son cry , Sam turned to the doctor. “Does he look okay? Wait, he is a boy, right, did we actually look to check? If he’s not…it doesn’t matter….”.  
  
“He’s just fine” the midwife intervened as she handed the baby back to his father.   
  
Dean helped Sam take hold of their son. “But he’s so small….” he said as he let the baby cling onto his finger.  
  
The doctor removed her gloves and addressed the anxious new parents less formally. “Well usually baby’s who arrive quickly get a bit shocked, but he’s perfectly fine.  He’s a healthy 6 pounds 3.  If you’d have gone to full term, then I think that you would have been looking at, at least a 7 pounder.  
  
Sam winced at the thought. Knowing that his son was healthy, he was able to relax somewhat and smiled when his eyes were fixed on the precious bundle in his arms. He was dressed in the pale blue romper suit and fleecey jacket he’d chosen for him to wear.  The sleeves were too long and had been rolled up so his hands were free. “Hey sweetie, did you hear that? You’re just fine.  More than just fine in fact- you’re perfect” he said as he kissed the downy hair on his baby‘s head.  The baby’s whine turned into a mewl which became more persistent.  
  
“I think he may be hungry, I’ll go and make up a bottle for you” the midwife said as she snuck out of the room quietly as not to disturb the intimate moment.  
  
Dr. Lane finished scribbling in the chart and folded her arms across her chest. “So, have you thought of any names yet? There‘s no hurry, we can just put baby boy Winchester-Campbell on his wrist band if you like…..”.  
  
Dean smiled at his brother who nodded. “Actually we have.  We decided on one a while back”.  
  
Bobby’s head jerked up. “Really? You mean you two actually decided on something together?”.  
  
“We did” Sam declared happily.  “ We didn’t tell you, because we wanted it to be a surprise.  And now it seems even more apt and fitting than it did before, given that you‘ve delivered him. But, you’ve done so much for us, it’s our way of thanking you” he said as he squeezed his brother’s hand. “Dean?”.  
  
The older brother whispered to his sibling. “Are you sure?”.  
  
“Yeah” Sam replied, keeping his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to console his newborn baby.  He’d been worried about how to hold him, or what to do, but his natural instincts completely took over.  
  
Dean smiled and reached out for his son, taking him carefully from the younger brother’s arms. “Bobby?” he said as he walked over to the elder man and passed the baby to him to hold.  
  
Bobby held out his arms and took the precious bundle, one hand under his delicate little head for support. “He’s….wow…” he marvelled, before realising that the older brother was about to announce the name.  He managed to tear his eyes away for a second to focus on Dean.  
  
“Bobby, meet Robert John Winchester-Campbell” the older brother said as he strolled back over to his brother and wrapped an arm around him.  
  
Sam clung onto his sibling’s arm and watched his beloved mentor’s first proper interaction with his son. “We’ve named him after everyone we love. Mom, dad…..and you…”.  
  
The eldest hunter felt tears start to breach the corners of his eyes at the sentiment.  Big, bright eyes gleamed up at him and the little boy reached out and grabbed his finger, gripping it tight.  He had only thought of the Winchester boys as his own after their father had died.  But this? This felt something entirely different.  This was love on a completely different scale. “Hey Robert- Bobby…..I think your name is awesome. I’m going to spoil you so much.  And I’m going to help you get out of all kinds of mischief just like I’ve done with your daddies.  But I don’t think that you’re going to do no wrong…look at you, you’re a little cherub”.  
  
Dr.Lane smiled and nodded her head. “Okay, I’ll get that sorted and added to the notes.  I need to check on my other patients, so I’ll be back to see you later, okay Sam?”.  
  
“Thank you” Sam said sincerely.  
  
The newborn started to fuss around in Bobby’s arms just as the midwife came back with a bottle.  
  
“I think he wants his daddy to feed him” Bobby said as he walked over to the bed and gave the squirming newborn back to his father.  
  
Sam put his finger in his baby’s mouth and allowed him to suck on it as a source of comfort until the bottle was ready for him.  It was then he noticed some other things about his gorgeous son.  Baby Bobby had Dean’s puffed out, full lips that he loved to kiss so much.  The same contours, the same rosy tint to them.  His hair was already showing signs of being wavy just like his own.    
“Here you go honey” the midwife said as she handed the younger brother the bottle. “Just pass it over his mouth and he’ll latch on”.  
  
“Okay” Sam said as he took the bottle nervously and gasped happily when his son immediately latched onto it.  
  
Dean nestled himself on the bed next to his brother and supported the end of the bottle with his thumb and forefinger. “Wow….he’s really going to town on that milk…”.  
  
Sam nudged his brother playfully. “Of course he is, he’s got your appetite”.  
  
Bobby stepped forward towards the new extended family he had gained. “I’m going to leave you to it.  Someone needs to be at home, making sure it’s all ready for when he comes home to us.  Judging by the way he’s guzzling that milk down, I’m guessing that that’s not going to be too far away.  Look, I’m not so good at all of this…..but thank you”.  
  
“What, for adding more grey hairs to your head, bringing chaos into your life….and now, adding to that, sleepless nights and dirty diapers?” Dean asked.  
  
“Yeah.  But I couldn’t be happier.  And giving him my name, the fact that you considered me family, having that now confirmed….” the older man said, trying not to break down.   
  
Dean got to his feet and pulled Bobby into a full-on man hug and patted him on the back. “It’s okay, say no more….”.  
  
Sam held up one of his son’s tiny hands and waved it back at his mentor when he broke free from the hug. “Bobby J, say bye bye to grandad Bobby”.  
  
“Bye.  I’ll catch up with y’all later on.  Is there anything else you need before I go?” Bobby checked before he disappeared.  
  
“No.  We’re all good.  I’ve got everything I need here” the younger brother answered as he looked up briefly from feeding his son.  
  
Bobby nodded his head and with a smile, he left the room and closed the door behind him.  
  
Dean sat back down on the bed. “Thank you…he’s so beautiful.  We’re going to raise him right, Sammy.  We’re going to give him a proper childhood- something which we didn’t have”.  
  
Sam kissed his brother on the lips, pulling them into a tender kiss, which only lasted for a few seconds but felt like it would last forever. “I love you” he sighed when he pulled his mouth away.  
  
“Love you too.  More than you’ll ever know” Dean agreed.  
  
The ring on the younger brother’s finger glinted under the lighting in the room, backing up that promise.  
  
Both of their eyes wandered down to the beautiful little boy in their arms.  
  
This beautiful little boy that was created out of love, this little new being that would become so dependant on them both for all of his needs.  The special little boy that brought his parents together, uniting them in love. A new life they would influence so heavily.  
  
A new start.    
  
And the promise of a happy future. 


End file.
